The Empire Strikes Back

Man I’m so tired. The last couple of months have just been soo hectic. There’s so much exciting stuff going on here at Canon, and I  have to tell you I’m starting to really enjoy my work again. Many of you loyal readers will undoubtedly still remember how depressed I was during most of 2009 and 2010. I even developed a drinking problem and started doing drugs. I got hospitalized a couple of times, got into rehab, and really put my family through hell.

But starting in early 2011 things began to change. It seemed like all the feedback we’ve been giving Japan in the previous years started to bring some positive change. Many of you wrote in to ask why I wasn’t updating the blog back then. Well the answer is that 1) I was busy and 2) I honestly had nothing to write about. Especially point 2 is going to be a huge problem from now on. Seeing how Canon Inc. were doing their best to listen to the feedback we were giving them during the development of the 1DX and other new models, I just couldn’t continue to give them hell on my blog like I used to. It just wouldn’t be fair. I wanted to write about the positive developments, but obviously I can’t discuss unannounced camera models here on my blog, and also, I didn’t want to get too optimistic too soon. I’ve done that in the past and got burned. It seemed like Canon Inc. were listening, but you never really know until the official announcement is made and everything is pretty much set in stone. So all I could do at the time was make cryptic remarks about exciting times coming to EOS.

When the 1DX was finally announced last year, it was a very emotional moment for me. All the hard work and all the effort we put into making Canon Inc. realize what we wanted paid off in the end. And it’s not just me, but it’s all of you. All the photographers who weren’t afraid and told Canon what they wanted, what sucked, what needed improvement, all of you who supported this blog and left comments with your experiences, all of that helped. Japan took notice.

After the press release for the 1DX went out, I went into my office with tears in my eyes, sat down behind my desk and just cried for 15 minutes. It felt really good, I felt happy. Adachi came into my office moments later and hugged me, and it was clear to both of us that we were heading for a much brighter future with Canon.

Just a few months after that we announced the C300 and I was just ecstatic. The entire industry shook on top of its foundations when the C300 and 1D C were announced. Of course we also had Vincent Laforet, eternal peace and blessings be upon him, with a great new video to show off the C300 too. It was awesome.

Vincent Laforet, peace be with Him

Vincent Laforet, peace be with Him, got his hair done by a professional hair stylist before the C300 launch. Thanks to Philip Bloom for bringing this to our attention.

Philip Bloom has a review of the C300 on Vimeo:

It was immediately clear to everyone that Canon was making a major come back. And we’re going to fucking trash everything out there in the coming months. Remember when I wrote this:

Nikon’s apparent decision to start fucking up really is coming at a bad time. Because here at Canon Inc. we’ve had a couple of months now, okay years actually, to regroup our efforts, and shit are going to happen for Nikon, that much I can tell you. Ever since the release of the D3 Nikon has given us blow after blow, and we haven’t been quite able to answer back. I mentioned in a previous post how the release of the D7000 was like the attack on Pearl Harbor to us, taking out both our 60D and 7D at the  same time – a rather serious offence. And if you saw the movie “Pearl Harbor”, you can maybe remember the scene with the Japanese general after they attacked Pearl Harbor, when he mentioned that “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.” He might also have said “Gentlemen, we have just kicked a rabid dog.” Nikon has either awoken a sleeping giant, or they have kicked a rabid dog, but either way, all I know is that we’re going to fucking own them! Make no mistake about it, Canon Inc. is at war. This is no time for Nikon to be screwing around. Trust me on this.

Well my friends, the sleeping giant has awoken. Not only are we going to fucking own Nikon and Sony, but even RED got owned. RED’s timing to start fucking up with the announcement of the Scarlet-X was pretty terrible. I laughed my ass off when Jannard couldn’t even properly announce the Scarlet-X. This is what happens when a bunch of amateurs think they can go up against Canon Inc. The Scarlet-X was announced 3 years ago for about $3000, has been fucking vaporware ever since, and now all of a sudden you’ll have to pay $14000 for a complete Scarlet-X, and get this >>> if you can actually buy one. Good luck with that. If you get one, I’m sure you’ll appreciate the quality of their forever in beta software too LMAO. But seriously, the C300 has the best image quality and overall features. And remember, the C300 is basically a version 1.0 product and a pretty incredible one at that. The shit is really going to hit the fan for RED when the C300 Mark II hits the market in the future. Not to mention the 1D C.

You absolutely, most certainly, fucking can - Canon

You absolutely, most certainly, fucking can - Canon

And Nikon? LMFAO. Nikon can’t possibly hope to compete. The entire EOS ecosystem is fucking unparalleled in this industry. Make no mistake about it, the sleeping giant is awake. What you guys have witnessed in the last few months is the empire striking back in a very big way.

Remember when I said the following:

Everyone has been busy praising Nikon and Sony in the last few months, either for their outstanding sensors or their recent innovations. But it seems that everyone ignores the fact that Nikon and Sony have only now gotten to a point with their sensors where Canon Inc. had been over 3 years ago! The image quality on the D7000 and the Sony A580 have just recently caught up with the image quality we had 3 years ago on our 40D! The image quality on the D700 that everyone is raving about, existed almost 3 years earlier on the original EOS 5D. Yeah that’s right, fucking recognize! It took Nikon and Sony 3 years to catch up. Imagine where we are now. Yeah sure, we fucked up with our latest sensors, I’ll give you that, but this doesn’t mean we didn’t innovate. We still have our 3 year lead, I promise you, and you’re going to find out about it soon! Y’all better prepare for penetration!

Nikon, Sony and RED had better start stocking up on personal lube.

But don’t take my word for it, you can already see what’s happening with the G1X. Check out what DXO Mark had to say about the G1X, it fucking slaughtered the competition!

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

The G1X even fucking owns the Nikon 1!!!

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

You can see why DXO Mark would call the Powershot G1X the best compact camera ever made. The way it completely trashes the other competing models is just ridiculous. In fact, I’m surprised this is even legal.

It wasn’t so long ago when Nikon was the one on top in DXO Mark benchmarks. In fact, Nikon has been consistently on top in the last 3-4 years:

I know what you’re saying right now, yes I’ve gotten the emails, “but Chuck, these people at DXOMark are saying the Nikon sensors are all better compared to Canon sensors in the same category.” Go ahead and believe those morons at DxO Labs if you want to. Who are you going to believe? A bunch of ganja smoking Europeans who don’t have anything to do and slapped up a website with some “data” to kill some time, or your own eyes? And get this, according to them the Nikon D90 has a better sensor compared to the Canon EOS 5D? Daat’s riiight, mon! When you ees high, ewrytheeng ees possybal!

As you can see I wasn’t quite happy with the results from DxO Labs back then, but obviously now that Canon is ahead in the benchmarks, this no doubt means that their data got a lot more accurate over the years. This shows improvement, and I like that.

But there’s one downside to all of this.

With all of these very positive developments, Canon Inc. is taking the wind out of my sails here on this blog. If they don’t fuck up anymore, what the hell am I going to write about? I may even have to start thinking about shutting down this blog.

Because trust me, you’ve seen nothing yet. The last few releases have just been the tip of the iceberg. There’s a lot more coming to EOS in the following months. Obviously we’ve got the 5DX coming soon, but there’s still more in the pipeline. Our ancient flash system is screaming for a replacement. We’ve got some absolutely killer new lenses coming up. Moses recently wrote about the 8-15mm f/4L Fisheye lens, which those morons at PDN thought wasn’t that great. But we’ve got the 200-400 f/4L 1.4x coming up as well, which is at least as fucking awesome and innovative as the 8-15mm fisheye. If that lens doesn’t win the PDN Gear of the Year award there’s no hope left anymore for anyone at PDN.

So what do you guys think? Personally, I think it’s time for a good cup of cappuccino.

Tech Tips and Emails

As you know, I’ve stopped doing the Tech Tips over at the Digital Journalist last year, but that doesn’t mean I’m stopping it here on my blog too. Remember that you’re all still free to send me emails with questions that you feel need answers. Perhaps you need some technical advice or information, perhaps just to inquire about something, or maybe you’re not getting replies or an adequate response from Canon, or just to vent. Whatever it is, you can send an email to and I’ll do my best to provide you with answers which will be published here on the blog. Yes I’m still using the Gmail account because my corporate Canon USA mailbox is currently still full. Now, with that out of the way, let’s take a look at the questions:

Hey, FC – just read Pogue’s recent article (, and truly laughed out loud at his comment that “in the last two years, the camera  companies have given up their insane and pointless quest for more megapixels-and begun turning their attention to the sensor-size problem. This, ladies  and gentlemen, is absolutely fantastic news.”

Guess Canon didn’t get the memo, with their 18meg 7D POS and the “anything but full frame” 1D mark iv.

Be seeing you!

I don’t think we’ve been getting any kind of memos here at Canon in the last few years. Management has been blinded by arrogance, and listening to the market is not something that was high on their priorities. We can all hope that with the recent devastating losses of market share and other issues things will change in the future. I’ve mentioned the megapixel issue here on the blog numerous times. I’m going to sound like a broken record, but let me remind you about Canon’s position on this matter:

If you’ve been following this blog long enough you already know my personal opinion regarding noise in images: I don’t like it myself. However, at Canon we think that noise is an important part of digital photography and certainly with regards to image quality. More noise in larger images is actually an improvement that contributes a lot to good image quality, as we have clearly demonstrated with the EOS 50D and the EOS 5D Mark II. Going forward, we expect noise to continue to play an important role in digital photography here at Canon with future advancements in sensor development, which will allow for even larger resolutions on smaller sensors while bending, and indeed completely trashing,  the laws of physics and causing a rip in the space-time continuum.
Other industry leaders have also recognized the importance of noise in images. For example, Adobe has demonstrated to share a similar view by including filters in Photoshop that add noise to images. As a result, images made with older cameras that offered noise-free images can now be improved by adding noise to them. I expect this trend to continue for the foreseeable future.

Let me also remind you about something else I mentioned on my blog a while ago:

LAS VEGAS–Olympus has declared an end to the megapixel race. “Twelve megapixels is, I think, enough for covering most applications most customers need,” said Akira Watanabe, manager of Olympus Imaging’s SLR planning department, in an interview here at the Photo Marketing Association (PMA). “We have no intention to compete in the megapixel wars for E-System,” Olympus’ line of SLR cameras, he said. Instead, Olympus will focus on other characteristics such as dynamic range, color reproduction, and a better ISO range for low-light shooting, he said.

This was almost a year ago. Like you point out, the competition was already aware of what people wanted. In that time the morons at Canon Inc. gave us the 18MP 7D Piece Of Shit, your words, while Nikon gave us the 12MP D3s low light wonder. Let us all hope for the best during the coming DSLR announcements.


You won 500,000.00GBP in the on-going Google Online Promotion.You are to contact Mr Graham Poll Email: for more information.

Mrs Debora

Thank you for the information Debora. I must say that I was very excited when I initially found your email in my Spam folder. I don’t know how it got there but thank God I noticed it before permanently deleting all spam. I was so happy I immediately called my wife Ying to tell her the good news. After that I sent an email to Mr. Graham Poll3 and was surprised to get a reply within an hour from a Mr. Shaka Kobele. I’m very impressed with the quick response and with your customer service, I wish we had more of that at our Canon service centers. Mr. Kobele informed me about the procedure for collecting my prize money, and I have already transferred the requested $1200 to your account in Nigeria. I did this last week and I was promised a response within 24 hours but haven’t heard back from Mr. Kobele. I understand these things take time so I wanted to let you know I’m patiently waiting, though I would appreciate a quick response on this as I have already ordered a Hasselblad CVF-39 with lenses and a H3DII-31 as a backup, and am expected to pay for all of it this week.

Hey Fake Chuck, it’s good to see ur still around. Why is Canon not doing anything about the low ISO noise and banding on the 5D Mark II?? I like my 5D but i hate the extra work i’m having to do fixing images every time. We’re all still waiting for the fix, this issue is constantly being discussed, here are a few recent threads on DPReview-

I’m sorry to hear about the issues. I discussed this problem earlier here on the blog too. I don’t know what the fuck they’re doing in Japan, believe me. We’ve been sending them all the feedback but there’s no response coming back, similar to the issues with the 50mm f/1.2 L. My best guess is that either Canon Inc. can’t fix this without doing a product recall, or this is all just part of their digital camera noise policy as I explained in the first question above. Let us all hope… or better yet, let us pray for some kind of response in the near future.

Hello there Fake Chuck,
First of all congratulations for your blog, you´re a very smart person, and your critics to Canon are very funny to read, and I hope they are reading you and will do something about the pathetic quality control they have. 
I just bought a 1D Mark IV camera and I´m also thinking to switch to Nikon. The camera is nice, but QC is crap. It comes from the factory with a dirty mirror, also the dioptric adjusment was moved from the zero position, and my first sight from the visor was like “WTF???” but the worst of all is the back and front focusing. My lenses now are like cheap chinese crap, and I need to micro adjust one by one to have some sharp shoots… How can this be possible with an almost 5.000€ camera ??? 
Even the lower end of the Canon reflex catalog are sharper than this… 
I whish you´ll have time to talk about this new “feature” of the 1D MK4 because I need to laugh about it, or I´ll finish throwing my camera to the river…
Take care and greetings from Madrid!

Thank you for the kind words. I’m fully aware of our quality control problems, this has been discussed on my blog at length. The main issue is that, as you may know, our entire quality control department, or that which was supposed to resemble it in any case, is currently missing in action. One day they were there and the next the whole department just vanished from the face of the planet. We’ve got the FBI, MOSSAD, MI5 and the KGB investigating this case and last I heard they were looking at the possibility of this being an alien abduction. Meanwhile Canon Inc. tried outsourcing some of the quality testing to independent contractors like Sven, but apparently it’s not working out. Also, I think Sven may have died in his facility as I haven’t heard back from him for a long while now. But before you throw your camera into the river, may I suggest that you test your lenses first for backfocus issues using the Canon certified procedure I’ve outlined in a previous post. If everything fails, I would finally suggest enabling the “door stop” functionality of the 1D Mark IV. As you may know this functionality was first introduced with the 1D Mark III and details of how to enable it can be found in a previous Tech Tips post.

Vincent Laforet, Peace be with Him, and me.

Vincent Laforet (left) and Eolake Stobblehouse, separated at birth?

Now before I end this post, I wanted to give you guys a link to this cool video I did together with Vincent Laforet, eternal peace and blessings be upon him. I have to say, I’m really proud to have been able to do this with him. In fact, I’m so proud that I printed and framed the image above and it now has a permanent place here on my desk right next to the picture of my wife and daughter. We’re all very proud to have Vincent as an Explorer of Light here at Canon USA using our gear to create awesome stuff. And as you may know Vincent also runs Domai in his spare time, a site I frequently visit during my late night one handed browsing sessions. The guy is just incredible. This should also put to rest all the theories about me being Vincent Laforet. If I was really Vincent Laforet I wouldn’t be standing next to him in the video right?? We’re not the same person, people, think about it!!

Joe Mc Nally (left) and a random Sock Puppet, separated at birth?

I wish we could have more cool people like Vince using our gear. The problem is that most of them are currently using Nikon gear and with all the Canon Inc. shitfuckery on our side it will be difficult to get them to even hold something that has the Canon logo on it, let alone use it to make something cool. Take Joe Mc Nally for example. We’d love to get him to switch sides right now, but I doubt he’ll even answer my email. Great guy though, that Mc Nally. Seems like he’s a bit nuts too. I hope you can see the striking resemblance in the picture on the right. Same hair and eye color. Probably identical twins if you ask me.

Some day I hope to write Anna’s name near the light on top of the Empire State Building just like he did for his daughters.

7D Reviews: Shit are happen!

Hello and welcome. This is your favorite camera guru reporting to you live from my office here at Canon USA. I’m sitting here burning some really good ganja so there’s a lot of smoke in the room, and in fact visibility is so low right now I’m having some difficulty seeing my monitor. Yeaaahh mon. I figured I needed to relax after all the shit that’s been going on recently. And it’s either getting high and relax, or snapping and picking up my double barrel shotgun to do some serious damage around here.

I thought Halloween was over, but apparently that’s not the case. We released a fix for the ghosting problem on the 7D, but as it appears, that’s the least of its problems right now. The horror stories keep pouring in. There are some more reviews out right now and it doesn’t look good. All those people who were writing in to me complaining about the noise seem to have been on to something. I was trying to ignore those complaints hoping it would just somehow go away, but it seems like it got worse instead.

As you all know I did my best for this not to happen. I talked to Tokyo several times about easing on the megapixels now, for the sake of our users, but the Japanese don’t want to listen. Let me remind you of this chat I had with Maeda a while back:

Shit are happen!

That’s how it basically kept going every time. Thank God they didn’t put 21MP on the 7D or else we’d have an even bigger problem right now. I fear for the 7D Mark II though. They might even take it to 24MP.

But anyway, let’s take a look at some of the reviews. First up we have the 7D review done by Darwin Wiggett. Here’s essentially what he has to say about the 7D:

Again to our eye the 7D files look soft and mushy compared to the snap in the other two files. Of course we expected the flagship Mark III to outperform the mid-priced 7D but we did not expect the entry level Rebel to better the 7D especially when the Rebel’s 12MP files were interpolated to 18MP!


The files from the Canon 7D were so disappointing to us that we began to wonder if we had received a dud camera. We borrowed a different body. Off we went for round two, again shooting numerous scenes with both the 7D and the Rebel XSi. We got the exact same results:  the little Rebel bested the 7D every time in terms of file quality. The second 7D body performed as ‘poorly’ as the first.

So… we got a THIRD 7D body and ran more tests.


We looked on the web for reviews of the Canon 7D and almost every review site RAVES about the camera both in terms of features and performance (we agree) but also in terms of file quality (huh?).  Also on photo sharing forums a lot of photographers think the file quality of the Canon 7D is awesome. Maybe our expectations were too high? We thought the 7D should give us files better than a Rebel or G11. Maybe we are just too anal?

Yeah, as the technical advisor at Canon USA, I too expected the 7D to give us better looking files compared to the much older, cheaper and entry level Rebel and G11. But as we can clearly learn from this, our expectations and the reality dictated to us by Tokyo rarely match. And this has been true for the last 4 years. Perhaps I too am just being “too anal”, as Darwin puts it. But it’s hard not to be “too anal” when we have Canon Inc’s gigantic corporate cock up our collective asses here at Canon USA.

Let’s anal-yze one of the images from the review below.

Mushy 7D image

On the left you can see the 100% image crop from the 7D and on the right from the Rebel XSi. As you can no doubt observe, the hay appears to be melting and almost forming a single body of hay on the image taken by the 7D. Based on my calculations it could be that the 7D image was taken after the Rebel image, at which point the hay reached sufficient temperature to start melting. However, I was just told that hay doesn't melt, so we have no choice but to conclude that the 7D might be fucked.

I’ll have to ask Tokyo what happened to the extra resolution that the 18MP sensor from the 7D is supposed to offer the next time I call them. I hope you realize that now uncle Bob on the wedding you’re covering with your 7D and 24-70mm f/2.8 L is going to be making better looking pictures with his cheap Rebel XSi plus kitlens, which he got on Ebay in what had to be a pretty good deal too. And I suggest you have some excuses prepared for when they ask you how little Timmy’s photos from his G11 look so much better compared to yours. And I’m not trying to summon John Harrington here, but think of the far reaching consequences this is going to have on the photography business when people start to realize that their own uncle Bob and little Timmy can take much better pictures and they don’t need a $3000 charging “professional” to cover their event. In the end, it’s the person behind the camera and not the camera that makes the picture, right? Right??

Next we have our very own Moses with a review that put a smile on my face. I tell ya, I thank God for people like Darwin Wiggett and Moses because they make my work so much easier for me. Now I have some material to use in my arguments with Tokyo. Moses wrote down a lot of words on his website to essentially just make the following point, and I quote:

Now the 2 year old 40D costing round $800 delivers better image quality than the ’state of the art’ 7D which costs $1700. Does this make sense to you? Not to me!

It doesn’t really make sense to me either. But I’m willing to bet the Japanese think this makes perfect sense. Now in case this isn’t sinking in yet, let me summarize for you what we’ve just learned:

  • The EOS 7D produces less detailed images compared to the entry level, cheaper Rebel XSi and G11 cameras, even while having more megapixels.
  • The EOS 7D produces noisier images than the two year old EOS 40D while being twice as expensive.
The Best Camera

If you're a 7D owner, this book will make you angry.

Looks like if you’re a 7D owner, the best camera really isn’t the one that’s with you.

Kaan joo now understaan why am burning di ganja here right now in me office, mon? Yeaah mon, like a reel Rastaman!

Seriously though, this really sucks.

Our only hope right now is the 1D Mark IV. But to be honest, I’m afraid of what is going to happen and my confidence in Canon is at an all time low at the moment. I am still trying to do my job as best as I can under the circumstances, but it’s not easy.

My latest Tech Tips have recently been published over at the Digital Journalist. And I also got interviewed by Photo Induced about the 1D4, check the movie below.

I was just about to get drunk when those guys from Photo Induced showed up. I already had a few shots of whiskey but I think I still managed to give a pretty decent sales talk. You’ll notice that I look much older and I’ve lost some weight as well. All the recent problems here at Canon are taking their toll on me I have to admit. I’m already starting to think about retiring too. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. And yes, before you ask, the 1D4 sample I was holding in the video had it’s CF slot glued.

Meanwhile the Nikon D3s is available and people are already raving about the great image quality it offers. I’m quite sure that our 7D would have matched the D3s if it was kept at 10MP. But we all know how that worked out. Wildlife photographer Moose Petersen wrote about his experiences using the D3s on his website. Imagine that… a wildlife photographer called Moose… Anyway, if you look at the D3s samples on his website, it becomes clear that the 1D4 is going to have tough competition. I do know from my own tests here at the office that certainly ISO 102,400 on the 1D4 doesn’t look quite as good as ISO 102,400 on the D3s. Perhaps this is why Japan ordered everyone to take down all 1D4 sample images. But if they think they’re going to fix this with noise reduction we’ll have another 7D type of situation on our hands very soon. I tell ya, I’m not looking forward to this year’s holiday season, that’s for sure. I’m just waiting for our shipment of production 1D4s with production firmware to see just how bad it’s going to be.

Bradley Cooper / Chase Jarvis

Bradley Cooper and Chase Jarvis (right) - Seperated at birth?

But those fucks at Nikon are so cocky and self assured right now they’re giving away $100,000 through photographer Chase Jarvis for the best movie made and submitted to them. I’m willing to bet they’re doing this just to give us an extra kick in the nuts after Japan ordered us to take down Laforet’s video “Nocturne”. I imagine the morning briefing at Nikon the following day went somewhat like this:

Nikon Executive 1: Hey guys, did you hear about Canon Inc. taking down that new Laforet video??

Entire Meeting Room: LOL ROFL LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!

Nikon Executive 1: Oh God, what a bunch of fucking morons! Unbelievable!

Nikon Executive 2: You know, I think we should use this opportunity to post even more of our own videos, just to piss those Canon USA guys off!

Nikon Executive 1: God damnit, that’s a great idea! Hey, even better, we give people money to post their videos!

Entire Meeting Room: LOL ROFL LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!

So now we can’t post videos here at Canon while Nikon’s giving away $100,000 to do exactly that! This is just fucking childish behavior on their part. Just rub more salt on our wounds will ya? Fucking wankers. And they couldn’t have picked someone more suitable to do this either. That Jarvis guy’s on crack 24/7. I wish we had him on our side to promote our products. Did you see the videos he posted on his website? Boy that’s something else. A world of difference between those videos and my boring 1D4 sales talk.

So you see now why I need the whisky and the ganja, right? Nikon is encouraging photographers like Chase to use their equipment and even giving away tons of money doing so, while we are here shooting down talented people like Vincent Laforet, peace and blessings be upon him, and ordering them to take down their videos taken with our equipment. Boy that really has to have a positive influence on any good will they have towards us.

And I’m not even going to mention the new Nikon iPhone application. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, keep it that way.

I’m telling you if I wasn’t a mentally strong person, I’d have snapped a long time ago. All I’m trying to do right now is to somehow make it to my retirement without going insane.

Fuck! Looks like the fire alarm just went off. Gotta go.


The Cryptkeeper with EOS 7D

Hello kiddiezz....

HELLO KIDDIEZZZ… If you’re looking for a frights of passage photographer, look no further… I specialize in… DEATH! Yeaakekekekekekeeaah….. Tonight’s horror tale is about a Japaneez company that just can’t seem to get it right anymore…cauzing loads of TERROR to unsuspecting cusstomerz… Their latest fuckup with the EOS 7D is jusst in time for Halloween, offering customerz a GHOSTING advantage while taking pictures… It would have been a reaal advantage if only the camera had a working autofocus system… or should I say… outta-focus system?!? Yeakekeke!… I call this story.. AUT-O’-FOCUS… Yeeaakekekekekekeeaaahh!!


7D Ghosting

7D Ghosting

Alrighty then, many thanks to the Cryptkeeper for the intro, he’s just in time for Halloween. And he’s not the only one just in time for Halloween. A few readers have commented in my previous post about how we underestimate Canon Inc. every time when we’re talking about their marketing insights, or the certain lack thereof, and I have to say I’m beginning to believe we’re underestimating them myself. Just in time for Halloween, they’ve unleashed a new feature on the EOS 7D that is causing ghosting in images taken in burst mode. And you thought the noise in 7D images was a problem! Now you can add ghosts to your images on Halloween on the fly without the need for using Photoshop! Every 7D owner can brag about this cool feature to their friends and relatives on Halloween. It’s just fucking brilliant! I’m sure Nikon executives are slapping their foreheads right now wondering why they didn’t think of this themselves! I sure hope we already filed a patent for this. Click here to see an example of this nice feature in action. Thanks to reader Jeff for the Halloween tip.

Other readers have their own interpretation of this situation:

I think I said in comment to a previous post that image quality was job #1. Maybe Canon took that to mean that the more images they could show on a single frame the better.

Canon still isn’t getting it: a camera with great specs but noisy, ghosty images is not a great camera. It’s a crappy camera with nice-looking specs. You don’t shoot specs – you shoot images.

Personally I think we should have stuck a 12MP sensor in the 7D myself, capable of delivering even cleaner images at all ISO settings. But hey, who am I right? I’ve said it many times before, but those morons in Japan don’t give a flying fuck about what I think, and anyone else for that matter.

You Can't - Canon

Thanks, Moses

As if all this isn’t enough, I’m getting a lot of emails about the autofocus system on the EOS 7D not working correctly. Here’s another link with more info. At this point we’re not exactly sure what’s going on. There seem to be working bodies out there so this could be Canon Inc.’s shitty quality control at work again. Ever since the release of the EOS 1D Mark III it seems there’s some kind of a misunderstanding between us and Canon Inc. When we told them photographers wanted better autofocus on future cameras, I believe the Japanese understood that we all wanted better out of focus on the cameras. Because ever since the 1D Mark III that is exactly what they have been giving us. The 5D Mark II has autofocus issues, now the 7D seems to have autofocus issues of its own, and I pray to God every day that this stops, but I fear for the 1D Mark 4. Even the video feature on the 7D appears to suffer from a number of issues. One is the moire pattern issue in 720p recording, and another seems to be dropped frames.

And to think I was so very optimistic with the release of the 7D. You can’t even begin to imagine how depressing all this is. If shit happens again with the 1D4, 2010 is going to be a repeat of 2008 for us – a fucking nightmare.

Everyone seems to be a bit depressed here at the office because of all this, and especially because of Canon Inc. screwing with our chance to be in the spotlight with Vincent Laforet’s Nocturne. After that we didn’t even have the fucking balls to publicly apologize about fucking up, and instead we had to ask Laforet to do it for us:

Canon is large, multi-national corporation – and at times things can hit a snag.   I had a meeting with a few Canon USA executives this week in New York at the Photo Plus Expo – and they went as far as to ask me to communicate to you that they are genuinely apologetic that this has happened.

We’re all a bunch of pussies here at Canon USA. PUSSIES! We can’t even stand up to those fuckwads in Japan. No wonder they keep screwing everyone over. At least I have this blog, right? But what is the rest of Canon USA doing?? WAKE THE FUCK UP!! My God, my God!!

Okay let me just calm down here for a bit.


While Nikon is out there showing off their D3s, posting sample images and cool videos done by photographers, Canon Inc. is ordering everyone to take down sample images and movies taken with the 1D4. Moses has more on this here. I simply cannot understand how this is going to help us compete against Nikon.

Really, if you want to torture yourself, go ahead and check out this “preview” of the 1D4 done by a Norwegian photographer. Here’s the juicy part:

This is my first impression of the BETA Canon 1D Mark IV, and not a normal field review! The camera’s CF slot was glued by Canon, and I could not check the image quality and HD-video on a computer screen. As a result, all I can comment on is the handling of the camera and how the photos looks in built-in the camera display.

Take the time to process what you’ve just read. Because seriously, I still cannot wrap my head around so much raw stupidity for the fucking life of me. We actually sent a camera to a photographer for evaluation with the fucking CF slot glued!! What is the fucking use of this? Can anyone explain this to me? What the fuck am I missing here? The guy can’t even check what the fuck he’s shooting, image quality has to be judged based on what he sees on the shitty LCD screen on the camera. You can’t even know if the images are really in focus, if the images are clean etc. He could have been shooting 8 bit VGA images for all he knows! That photographer allowed Canon Inc. to publicly make a total ass out of him too. You should really know better than to do a preview under such conditions.

But again, notice how Canon Inc. is basically doing exactly what they want, ordering everyone to do what they want, and everyone apparently seems to accept all their crap. Canon subsidiaries worldwide, photographers worldwide – everyone.

It’s fucking amazing. Those guys at Canon Inc. are like the fucking mafia.

But I wonder why Canon Inc. has the need to so badly control what output from the 1D4 gets out in public at this point in time. Even going so far as to glue CF card slots and ordering people to take down sample images, while clearly we needed the publicity to counter the D3s. Something might be up.

I have a really bad feeling about this…

This Halloween, we’re going to sit down here at the office at Canon USA, turn off all lights, and we’re going to tell eachother stories about bad quality control, mirrors falling off, noise and banding issues, autofocus issues… you know, REAL horror stories. It’s going to scare the living crap out of us.

On Canon Taking Down Nocturne

Vincent Laforet (left) and Eolake Stobblehouse, separated at birth?

Vincent Laforet (left) and Eolake Stobblehouse, separated at birth?

A HUGE flood of email is currently taking down our corporate network here at Canon USA as people write in to complain about why we told Vincent Laforet, eternal peace and blessings be upon him, to take down the video ‘Nocturne‘ – a video shot by Laforet using our latest WMD against Nikon and Sony, the 1D Mark IV.

Let me say right away that I personally have NOTHING to do with this. So please do not direct your anger at me. Some of those emails that I managed to read before my computer crashed because of the heavy email traffic, were such that I started to fear for my life.

Truth is the fucking boneheaded Japanese are at it again. Really, how stupid do you have to be NOT to want to take advantage of this kind of free viral marketing? I just recently wrote about the Japanese not understanding the first thing about marketing, and in case you were still not convinced this is another example. In another post not too long ago, I even wrote:

We need a totally different approach to marketing when the 1D Mark 4 gets launched. I really hope that Vincent Laforet, peace be with him, will be able to look at the 1D4 and do something really spectacular again so we can seriously start kicking Nikon’s ass. Lord knows we need it.

And then what happens? We get the fucking 1D4 bodies just a few short weeks before launch, we ship one to Laforet to check it out, who goes out of his way to use it and create something cool and exciting, and then what do we do? We ask him to take it down.

This is the shit I have to put up with every goddamn day here at Canon. No wonder most of the cool photographers choose Nikon. I have really given up all hope that those conservative bastards at Canon Inc. and our upper management are going to realize we’re currently living in the 21st century, a time of the Internets and social media.

After the launch of the EOS 7D, and now the 1D Mark IV, I was finally seeing a brighter future for Canon after such a long period of countless fuckups. But this reminds me once again that things can never really change for the better if we don’t take care of one of our biggest underlying problems: Clueless management.

Canon Inc. can take their fucking Kyosei corporate philosophy and cram it you know where. Do you know what hinders the achievement of kyosei??? HUH?? DO YA?? Let me tell you what hinders achieving kyosei, you stupid, ignorant bastards: It’s the fucking morons running the company!

I need a couple of drinks.