The Cryptkeeper with EOS 7D

Hello kiddiezz....

HELLO KIDDIEZZZ… If you’re looking for a frights of passage photographer, look no further… I specialize in… DEATH! Yeaakekekekekekeeaah….. Tonight’s horror tale is about a Japaneez company that just can’t seem to get it right anymore…cauzing loads of TERROR to unsuspecting cusstomerz… Their latest fuckup with the EOS 7D is jusst in time for Halloween, offering customerz a GHOSTING advantage while taking pictures… It would have been a reaal advantage if only the camera had a working autofocus system… or should I say… outta-focus system?!? Yeakekeke!… I call this story.. AUT-O’-FOCUS… Yeeaakekekekekekeeaaahh!!


7D Ghosting

7D Ghosting

Alrighty then, many thanks to the Cryptkeeper for the intro, he’s just in time for Halloween. And he’s not the only one just in time for Halloween. A few readers have commented in my previous post about how we underestimate Canon Inc. every time when we’re talking about their marketing insights, or the certain lack thereof, and I have to say I’m beginning to believe we’re underestimating them myself. Just in time for Halloween, they’ve unleashed a new feature on the EOS 7D that is causing ghosting in images taken in burst mode. And you thought the noise in 7D images was a problem! Now you can add ghosts to your images on Halloween on the fly without the need for using Photoshop! Every 7D owner can brag about this cool feature to their friends and relatives on Halloween. It’s just fucking brilliant! I’m sure Nikon executives are slapping their foreheads right now wondering why they didn’t think of this themselves! I sure hope we already filed a patent for this. Click here to see an example of this nice feature in action. Thanks to reader Jeff for the Halloween tip.

Other readers have their own interpretation of this situation:

I think I said in comment to a previous post that image quality was job #1. Maybe Canon took that to mean that the more images they could show on a single frame the better.

Canon still isn’t getting it: a camera with great specs but noisy, ghosty images is not a great camera. It’s a crappy camera with nice-looking specs. You don’t shoot specs – you shoot images.

Personally I think we should have stuck a 12MP sensor in the 7D myself, capable of delivering even cleaner images at all ISO settings. But hey, who am I right? I’ve said it many times before, but those morons in Japan don’t give a flying fuck about what I think, and anyone else for that matter.

You Can't - Canon

Thanks, Moses

As if all this isn’t enough, I’m getting a lot of emails about the autofocus system on the EOS 7D not working correctly. Here’s another link with more info. At this point we’re not exactly sure what’s going on. There seem to be working bodies out there so this could be Canon Inc.’s shitty quality control at work again. Ever since the release of the EOS 1D Mark III it seems there’s some kind of a misunderstanding between us and Canon Inc. When we told them photographers wanted better autofocus on future cameras, I believe the Japanese understood that we all wanted better out of focus on the cameras. Because ever since the 1D Mark III that is exactly what they have been giving us. The 5D Mark II has autofocus issues, now the 7D seems to have autofocus issues of its own, and I pray to God every day that this stops, but I fear for the 1D Mark 4. Even the video feature on the 7D appears to suffer from a number of issues. One is the moire pattern issue in 720p recording, and another seems to be dropped frames.

And to think I was so very optimistic with the release of the 7D. You can’t even begin to imagine how depressing all this is. If shit happens again with the 1D4, 2010 is going to be a repeat of 2008 for us – a fucking nightmare.

Everyone seems to be a bit depressed here at the office because of all this, and especially because of Canon Inc. screwing with our chance to be in the spotlight with Vincent Laforet’s Nocturne. After that we didn’t even have the fucking balls to publicly apologize about fucking up, and instead we had to ask Laforet to do it for us:

Canon is large, multi-national corporation – and at times things can hit a snag.   I had a meeting with a few Canon USA executives this week in New York at the Photo Plus Expo – and they went as far as to ask me to communicate to you that they are genuinely apologetic that this has happened.

We’re all a bunch of pussies here at Canon USA. PUSSIES! We can’t even stand up to those fuckwads in Japan. No wonder they keep screwing everyone over. At least I have this blog, right? But what is the rest of Canon USA doing?? WAKE THE FUCK UP!! My God, my God!!

Okay let me just calm down here for a bit.


While Nikon is out there showing off their D3s, posting sample images and cool videos done by photographers, Canon Inc. is ordering everyone to take down sample images and movies taken with the 1D4. Moses has more on this here. I simply cannot understand how this is going to help us compete against Nikon.

Really, if you want to torture yourself, go ahead and check out this “preview” of the 1D4 done by a Norwegian photographer. Here’s the juicy part:

This is my first impression of the BETA Canon 1D Mark IV, and not a normal field review! The camera’s CF slot was glued by Canon, and I could not check the image quality and HD-video on a computer screen. As a result, all I can comment on is the handling of the camera and how the photos looks in built-in the camera display.

Take the time to process what you’ve just read. Because seriously, I still cannot wrap my head around so much raw stupidity for the fucking life of me. We actually sent a camera to a photographer for evaluation with the fucking CF slot glued!! What is the fucking use of this? Can anyone explain this to me? What the fuck am I missing here? The guy can’t even check what the fuck he’s shooting, image quality has to be judged based on what he sees on the shitty LCD screen on the camera. You can’t even know if the images are really in focus, if the images are clean etc. He could have been shooting 8 bit VGA images for all he knows! That photographer allowed Canon Inc. to publicly make a total ass out of him too. You should really know better than to do a preview under such conditions.

But again, notice how Canon Inc. is basically doing exactly what they want, ordering everyone to do what they want, and everyone apparently seems to accept all their crap. Canon subsidiaries worldwide, photographers worldwide – everyone.

It’s fucking amazing. Those guys at Canon Inc. are like the fucking mafia.

But I wonder why Canon Inc. has the need to so badly control what output from the 1D4 gets out in public at this point in time. Even going so far as to glue CF card slots and ordering people to take down sample images, while clearly we needed the publicity to counter the D3s. Something might be up.

I have a really bad feeling about this…

This Halloween, we’re going to sit down here at the office at Canon USA, turn off all lights, and we’re going to tell eachother stories about bad quality control, mirrors falling off, noise and banding issues, autofocus issues… you know, REAL horror stories. It’s going to scare the living crap out of us.

45 thoughts on “Aut-O’-Focus

  1. this is a great way to end my evening hahaha i really wish canon would get their shit togather so i can “upgrade” from my 40d i thought that upgrade would be the 7d but it looks like they went and fucked up what could have been one of the best aps-c cameras ever made

  2. I’ve never spent a dime on any product from Nikon (though I have enjoyed their slide scanners before). However, after all of this shit, I’m seriously thinking about getting whatever Nikon body is around when I’m ready for a DSLR.

    I know I’m not the target market for most of these products, but like was said in the comment referenced above: you don’t shoot specs, you shoot pictures. And that is as true for drunken bastards like myself as it is for soccer moms shooting their kids as it is for furry euros who get paid for their images. (see

  3. Thanks for your insights Chuck!

    Though I’m a Nikon shooter I cannot help but wonder about Canon’s approach to marketing… Honestly, I wouldn’t care that much about occasional autofocus problems or ghosting effects, but a company that seems to send a free “f**ck you costumer san” gift card with every camera you buy really makes me shake my head. It’s really hard not to take stuff like the nocturne incident as a personal insult…

  4. Pingback: Aut-O’-Focus – Fake Chuck Westfall @ Photo News Today

  5. Pingback: Aut-O’-Focus « Fake Chuck Westfall | The Click

  6. Chuck-

    I’m a long time Nikon user. Learned on a Nikon, own several bodies, and lots of glass. But, with the release of the 1D4 I’ve been thinking of making the switch.

    Here’s the thing. I come from a video background. Shooting video on video cameras and shooting stills on my Nikon. Always worked well, but the idea of having both in one body and having half the gear is really exciting. The D3s is great, but I want 1080 24p and 720 60p. So, Canon wins the video debate with those two features. But, I KNOW any Nikon body will just work. Simple as that. Every Nikon I’ve ever used has spot on AF, and they just work. Especially the tougher bodies like the D300/D700/D3. But even the old and cheap D70 seems to have better AF than the 5D2.

    All that to say that if I’m going to drop $5,000 on a camera I need to know that it will perform. All of the Canon hiccups seem to be because they rush out unproven cameras. I worry too that they are trying to hide something with the 1D4. Why else would they be so secretive about it? And, seriously, how in the world does a major camera company release any camera body with shotty AF in 2009.

    • MD,believe me, I’m asking my self those same questions every goddamn day. At a time when cheap-ass point and shoot cameras can autofocus reliably, Canon Inc. can’t release a professional DSLR that can focus reliably.

      It’s a goddamn tragedy. That’s what it is.

      • Point & shoot cameras have huge depth of field, focus accuracy is not big problem. Canon can greatly reduce out-of-focus problem by limiting the camera to f/5.6 or better yet glue the diaphragm to f/16. It works much better than gluing the CF card in their 1D Mark IV here :

    • If you want to shoot video, buy a real HD video camera, and keep shooting with your old Nikon. The engineering behind the dedicated video cameras is focused completely on making the video accurate, etc. so don’t try to justify buying a new SLR so you can shoot video. You could probably save a lot by getting a just-as-good video camera for less $

  7. That’s great chuck hahahah,

    Wait till the Japanese see what RED has in store with a fully electronic EF mount. They will totally crap their noodles.

    Awesome horror stories, keep up the good humor!

  8. Is anybody else seeing where this is going? Some of the more recent issues:

    1D mk3: autofocus.
    5D mk2: autofocus, crippled video, pattern noise.
    7D: autofocus, crippled video, pattern noise, ghosting, flash commander…
    1D mk4: none yet, but there sure as hell is something suspicious going on.

    If the folks at Canon Inc. want to destroy this company, they’re on the right track. I really, really hope for a full frame 3D that will finally get it right. Chuck, please, talk some sense into them before it’s too late.

  9. Let me show my age for a moment. Please indulge a moment of nostalgia, children….

    I remember the good old days, when you pulled a new camera out of the box and couldn’t wait to try all the cool new tools it offered. First it was AF, then digital, then fast motor drives. And each time, I would wonder to myself how I cool it was, and smile when I thought about all the great things I could now do that were so difficult before. And they all worked so well, and I was so happy to use them.

    Then I switched to Canon.

    I got my brand-new 7D last week … and I still haven’t done any significant test shots with it. Because I know what’s going to happen. I’m going to be disappointed again, and I’m going to kick myself for not saving that money and using to to switch back to Nikon, where they make cameras that work like they’re supposed to RIGHT OUT OF THE F***ING BOX, WITHOUT HAVING TO DOWNLOAD 17 FIRMWARE UPDATES, AND WITHOUT HAVING TO WORRY THAT I MIGHT MISS MY 30-DAY RETURN WINDOW!

    I can tell by just by looking at this camera that it’s a flashy but sorry piece of shit. Already, the “set” button sometimes turns along with the command wheel, a testament to Canon’s now-legendary quality control. Even with the grip attached, it feels … unsubstantial. Perhaps it’s only a subliminal response to my previous experiences with Canon products. But I doubt it.

    I put in a CF card and fire off eight frames. In the large LCD, I can see that each one has a slightly different range of color values from the others. I think how much I’ll enjoy using this camera with Canon’s equally erratic flashes, and how much quality time I’ll be spending in Photoshop, trying to salvage the few shots that actually are in focus.

    Thank you, children, for listening to a poor old photographer. I probably won’t be seeing much of you anymore, because I’ll be busy packing and shipping my camera back to Canon … unpacking my camera and cursing it again … packing and shipping it back … unpacking ….

  10. You know what? I´m going to buy a 7D without updated firmware and I will put an spiritism business!!!! it will rock so much that I will get the “mind freak” out of the market with this stuff!!!

    Meanwhile I will stockpile Canon EOS 1D MKII and MKIIN 😀 when I have enough to build a house it will be OK.

  11. Hmm, it’s far from ideal, despite £6K of Canon gear I have never been closer to switching to the dark side. The thing that just really fucks me off is that the AF in the 7D isn’t in the 5Dll. I want a new FF and it seems a step backwards getting the 5D (now) and the D3 looks as solid as a pit bull with a hard on. These new lenses are bound to be shit too. Fucking hell, if Canon were a car maker they’d be out of business.

  12. I’m sitting here with my Mk III which has an AF that works like it should about 75% of the time, and about $15,000 in various Canon lenses. I really can’t afford to switch to Nikon and I really can’t afford to stay with Canon if the Mk IV does not work the way a $5000 camera is supposed to work. With all the screw-ups at Canon over the last few years, I see the glass that is Canon as being less than half full and leaking fast.

  13. venting too:I am glad I ran into this WTF! I have been a staunch canon guy since the military( all metal F-1’s)When i left theservicei had to decide which brand to buy into. I tried the the eos1 35mm and the nikon f4s and decided on canon. I had heard rumors of focus issues on and off and had migivings with my old well worn 10d this was the year to move up to a better bodyand “L”s and hey ;look there’s the 50d, 7d 5dmkII and the 1d4 out !!!!!Cool! whats this underhanded here’s a demo camera with the card glued in ?? I don’t even know the Nikon lineup since the 8008s…But when I squeeze money out of my incredibly tight wallet , the s.o.b. better perform out of the box and last a good long while..
    I waited years for my beloved eos1.
    anybody know good nikon website? better boneup now.

  14. What what what!??!!! Dpreview just reviewed the 7D and they are raving about it! Lower noise than the 50D and the Nikon D300s with better detail! They had to force themselves to come up with a few insignificant cons.

    Have a drink to celebrate Chuck (instead of drowning your disappointment).

    • Dick,

      DPreview has basically become a Canon ad agency over the years. Even from their tests, you can see that the 7D has more noise than the D300s in RAW. Which means, the 7D has even more noise than the 40D in RAW, since the 40D has less noise than the D300.
      That’s a step backwards, although an improvement over the 50D (which was absolute crap).

      Also DPreview doesn’t test autofocus.

      • What! Or should I say WTF? Dpreview has been hard on Canon, and easygoing on Nikon for the past 2 years. They are not pro Canon.
        Were you drunk when you looked at the Raw noise tests to say such a thing? Look at them again when you are sober and you have just banged your hot asian wife. It might change your perspective, buddy boy.

        As for the AF: if that shit disturber Rob Galbraith has not yet written a 76 page essay on how it does not work when pointing the camera at the sun at a 54.3 degree angle in 23.25 centigrade/celsius temperature while jacking a rhesus monkey and a dung beetle on your back, it is fair to conclude that the 7D autofocus performs well.

        Might it be that fake Chuck truly is a Nikon employee?

      • Dick, my boy, all i’m gonna say is this:

        Look at DPreview’s review of the 5D Mark II.

        You do know about the low ISO noise and banding on the 5D2 right? And the shit AF?
        Check if DPreview mentions them.

  15. Pingback: Karel Donk’s Blog » Blog Archive » Canon EOS 7D Review: Noisier than 40D

  16. I just love your language, it works for me!
    you know, I’ve said it before but its like buying windows and microsoft.
    these huge companies kick the products out the door and expect the consumer to be the ones to get the bugs out of the gear.
    Canon Camera is no different.


    Just watched your new video clip introducing the ‘not-too-proud’ product 1D4, which seems more of an incremental evolution, instead of huge revolution.
    Oh poor Fake Chuck, I can easily see you’ve aged a lot, with quite obvious weight-loss due to stress from work. Hang in there, buddy! We still have faith in Canon, just can’t wait to see 1Ds4, 60D and even 3D coming out next year. I just got my 7D and try to love it as much as I possibly can.

  18. Pingback: 7D Reviews: Shit are happen! « Fake Chuck Westfall

  19. My dearest friends and loyal Canonistas, please, do not worry, everything is under control and will be made right as rain very shortly. E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. is just fine and Canon will resolve all these little issues and remain the technology leader in digital photography.

    You don’t need to understand or question, just trust and obey, for there’s no other way.

  20. Chuck – I thought I made a good decision when I switched from Minolta to Canon 10 years ago during my transition from film to digital. When folks looked at my shiny new Canon gear, it was nice to not have to explain why I was shooting Minolta.

    Now, though, everyone asks why I’m not shooting Nikon, or even those shiny new Sony cameras THAT USE THE GREAT MINOLTA G LENSES STILL STORED IN MY %$%$ BASEMENT!!!

    Comeon, Chuck – I bought your 10D and your 40D and lots of high priced red-striped lenses. Can’t you give me a reason to buy a body that will actually WORK as well as a Nikon??????

  21. OK, Chuck, my apologies, but I am flip flopping (again). I am back to loving the 7D. Check out this review that is positive towards the 7D, and makes fun of Wigget:

    Wigget doesn’t know dick!!!

    So my finger, is now pointed towards Wigget:





    ……..(’(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)


    ……….”…\………. _.·´



  22. We don’t need “ghosts” visible on our cameras. Our smile-detection feature is so sensitive we can detect ectoplasmic entities in the room even when they’re not there.

  23. Pingback: Honey, I’m Home! « Fake Chuck Westfall

  24. Pingback: ‘Tis the Season to be Fucked « Fake Chuck Westfall

  25. Pingback: Is Nikon the new Canon? « Fake Chuck Westfall

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s