Canon Inc., will you be my Valentine?


Aaah yes, Valentine’s Day. A special day for most people, but an especially special day for me and my relationship with Canon Inc. A lot can be said about our relationship, but nobody will ever be able to truly appreciate what we have together. Back when I started this blog, there was a lot of doubt about my true motivations for doing so. I want to take the opportunity today to tell you something very important. And that is that LOVE was the only motivation I had back then when I started this blog. Not just any kind of love, but true LOVE.

It’s the kind of love that lasts forever, no matter what happens. We can have our differences, we can fight and have arguments, hell, our paths can even separate and take our lives into different directions. But our LOVE for each other always remains, burning like an eternal flame in our hearts. And as they say, what’s meant to be together, will always find a way.

Sure, I’ve had a lot of criticisms and said a lot of harsh things about Canon Inc. in the past — all very valid in my opinion. But it’s precisely BECAUSE of my LOVE for Canon Inc. that I did that. I’ve worked for this company for a great deal of my life now, and I want this company to succeed. I want our customers to be happy. I want to wake up every day and be motivated to come to the office and play with my toys. I want that shit to actually fucking work the way it’s supposed to. And that’s why I continue to push very hard to ensure that Canon Inc. does its best to stay the best in this industry. If that means that I have to bash some of our products, then that’s what will happen. If it means that I have to call Maeda along with other executives and harass him on the phone, then that’s what will happen. If it means that I have to put my health at risk and spend a couple of nights in intensive care, then that’s what will happen. You get the point.

When you LOVE, you CARE. And when you CARE, you try your best to help the ones you LOVE to improve and to succeed. You’ll always be brutally honest to them, because you know it’s for their best interests in the long term. And really, that’s always been my motivation for wasting a great deal of my valuable free time writing posts on this blog, only to give people the impression that I’m probably crazy or have no life, or possibly both.

It’s exactly 5 years ago today that I received the heartwarming love letter from Canon Inc.’s lawyers, ordering me to shut down my blog. February 14th, 2009. I’ll never forget that day. It was the kind of event where you remember exactly where you were and what you were doing when it happened, for the rest of your life. You know, kinda like how it is with the Kennedy assassination and 9/11. Getting such a letter on any other day of the year is significant enough, but the fact that I got it on Valentine’s Day reveals its true purpose. There can be no doubt that this was an expression of LOVE from Canon Inc. — an answer to my own strong feelings of LOVE towards them. Thanks to their very thoughtful and touching letter, this blog got a ton of exposure that I would never have been able to achieve on my own. Like I mentioned above, when you LOVE someone, you try your best to help them succeed, even if you have to be a little harsh sometimes. And this was definitely Canon Inc. helping me to succeed.

In the years that followed my LOVE for Canon Inc. has only gotten stronger. So today, on this very special day, I will drink to this special relationship and celebrate the time that we’ve been able to spend together. And I want to end this post with a poem that summarizes all my feelings for Canon Inc.:

I Will Always LOVE You

© Richard M. Deets, Fake Chuck Westfall

I desire you when splinters of light appear
And the dew lazily joins morning sky.
When arias, pining birds to mates sing,
I rely on the excellence of EOS.

I desire you when the sun centers the sky
And shadows hide beneath the soles of feet.
When butterflies dance among petals white,
I enjoy the sparkle of your expensive glass.

I desire you as the moon welcomes the night
And skies are flooded with twinkling bright stars.
When candles flicker their last silent breath,
I passionately explore your highest ISOs.

I desire you my love in every moment.
As time adds years like sands on the beach,
And the last photowalks of my life get near,
I will want you so much more than now.

10 thoughts on “Canon Inc., will you be my Valentine?

  1. Fake chuck you gay cocksucking faggot bitch whore cunt. The gh4 just smoked everything canon has ever even dreamed up. Stupid bitch. Go fuck your mom.

  2. Ok, obviously you have some trolling (from a teen or preteen judging by the lack of anything constructive to say and the overuse of curse words for the sake of cursing). Would probably be best to delete comments like that and block those people for the sake of keeping SOME level of maturity on your site.

    Aside from that… we’re feeling your love for your company in this post Fake Chuck!!! You are absolutely right, when you love something, you care. I have found your criticism of Canon to be candid, and very right in many ways. Canon is basically the opposite of Sony in that Sony doesn’t restrict tech in their cameras for the sake of keeping things in a “tier” to the point of actually crippling a camera! Frustratingly so!! I can only WISH Canon paid more attention to you, but alas, they are still the king of the hill and with that has come complacency.

    I shan’t ramble on in this response and will stay on topic. So thanks for professing your love for the C and keep fighting the good fight….even though it will take you to an early grave! LOL!

  3. Pingback: Karel Donk's Blog » I am Fake Chuck Westfall

  4. Pingback: The End | Fake Chuck Westfall

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