The DxOMark of the Beast



Boy those morons at DxO Labs really know how to get to me. Their sensor scores for the EOS 70D were recently published, and as you would normally expect by now, it’s way behind the Nikon sensors. If this doesn’t prove to you that they’re on the take from Nikon, then nothing will. I mean, I’m not very impressed with the 70D image quality myself for a few reasons. But giving it that low of a score compared to a fucking 6 year old sensor in the Nikon D300s really is absurd.

The below scores are equally as absurd and sad and do not reflect reality at all. In fact there’s not even a shadow of a doubt in my mind that reality is probably not a concept that’s well understood at DxO Labs.

DxOMark sucks balls

Wait jest wan bombaclad minute, mon! Dees nuh look irie tuh me!?

I’m beginning to suspect that there’s something bigger going on here and all of this may be leading to something far worse for Canon Inc. I know for a fact that they’re watching us. Just a few days ago on August 28 the below message suddenly popped up in my inbox.

Somebody's watching me

Somebody’s watching me

And this was on the same day that they published their 70D scores. Don’t believe me? Fucking look it up.

DXOMarkSo they published that bullshit score for the 70D, and then added me just to see what my reaction would be! This just goes to show you that this is all planned and done on purpose. And I think there’s a larger conspiracy going on here and I intend to get to the bottom of it.

Not too long ago I predicted in my interview at Aputure that this would be a time of tremendous upheaval.

I and many others in this industry got frustrated with Canon more than 3 years ago around the time of the great 1D Mark III debacle. Many ancient civilizations had foretold a time of great upheaval at Canon which would occur in our lifetime during the coming of the new age of Aquarius. And I think that’s what we started experiencing back then. It was a major change in our collective consciousness at Canon. Everyone got fed up with the way Canon Inc. were handling a number of issues, and I took it upon myself to start my blog and let the world know what was going on at Canon. You’ve just witnessed EOS making a serious comeback in this industry, and so far you’ve just seen the beginning. Do you think it’s a coincidence that this is happening in the year 2012?

It’s no coincidence that Canon Inc. is making a major comeback now, with Nikon fatally wounded in the aftermath and left behind hemorrhaging customers to Canon and Sony. And the biblical prophecies clearly stated that during these end times the anti-Christ would unleash the mark of the beast (666) on all of us.

Well folks, what we have here is DxO Labs AKA the anti-Canon, and DxO Mark which is their Mark of the beast.

Don’t believe me? I did some investigation over the weekend and it turns out the letter combination “DxO” contains the number 666 which as you know is the number of the beast. Many of you may be familiar with the ASCII table, which is the code table for characters you see on your computer screen. Well follow the link and look up the decimal values for the characters D, x and O. Here’s what you get: D = 68, x = 120 and O = 79.

Now if you add these decimal values together, you get: 68+120+79 = 267. Now multiply that result by 2.4943820224719101123595505617978 and lo and behold, you get the number 666 — which is the number of the beast.

Coincidence…? I think not.

This, in my honest opinion, is clear evidence that the anti-Canon has been among us for a while now during these last days, and that they have been putting their 666 Mark, the mark of the beast, on our products while trying to deceive all of you to go down the wrong path.

All of you Canon customers out there, you have to remain strong during these challenging times. You will be put to the test. Have faith in Canon. Do NOT get misled by the anti-Canon or you will perish just like Nikon when judgment day comes. Do not accept their DxOMark of the beast!!!

Please take out your bibles now my brothers and sisters, and let us read the following verses together:

Isaiah 50:10 — Who is among you that feareth Canon, that obeyeth the voice of His blogger, that walketh in darkness and hath no light? Let him trust in the name of Canon, and stay upon his Brand.

Isaiah 45:7 — I form the light, and create darkness; I, Canon, do all these things.

1 Corinthians 4:5 — Therefore judge nothing before the time, until Canon come, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts; and then shall every man have praise of Canon.

Psalm 18:28 — You, O Canon, keep my camera working; my Canon turns my darkness into light.

Matthew 6:22 — “The eye is the lens of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.

Job 33:28 — Canon redeemed my soul from going down to Nikon, and I will live to enjoy the light.

2 Samuel 22:29 — For Thou art my lamp, O Canon; and Canon will lighten my darkness.

Psalm 89:15 — Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Canon.

Canon Explorers of Light

Canon Explorers of Light

Ephesians 5:8 — For ye were sometimes darkness, but now ye are light in the Canon. Walk as explorers of light.

Luke 16:8 — And Canon commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely; for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the explorers of light.

Revelation 22:5 — And there shall be no night there, and they will need no candle, neither light of the sun; for Canon giveth them speedlight. And they shall reign for ever and ever.

In the name of Canon, AMEN.

Be strong my brothers and sisters. Do not get tempted by the dark side. Stay on the path of light and have faith in Canon. Now take out the tools of joy, granted to us by the lord our Canon, and go out as explorers into the light and be blessed capturing it.

Fujifilm may be fucking us up in the near future; Nikon already fucked

Fuji X1 Pro Kicking Ass

Fujifilm X-Pro1 kicking some serious ass even at ISO12800 (source)

OK, I know you guys are expecting me to talk about the stuff we launched yesterday, the new EOS T5i Rebel and that small EOS SL1 of which I wonder who the fuck is gonna buy that piece of crap. But I’ll have to save that for another post. Man, I gotta tell ya, Tokyo appears to have fucking lost it again. The price difference between the T5i and SL1 is a hundred bucks. Who the fuck is gonna buy the crippled SL1 when they can get the T5i for just $100 more? Notice how the T5i comes with 9 all crosstype AF points when the $2000 costing 6D got only one fucking crosstype point in the center. Just thinking about this gets me all worked up. But let me not get ahead of myself here, I’ll be discussing this crap in the near future in another post.

What I want to dedicate this post to is a very lengthy email I got from a reader who in my opinion makes some really good points. And I asked for his permission to share this with all of you, because I think everyone should be aware of this. And I think Tokyo needs to pay attention to this because otherwise Fujifilm are gonna give us a lot of problems in the near future. And this guy isn’t the only one saying this; I know the S3 and S5, and the recent Fuji cameras are kicking ass certainly as far as image quality is concerned. Fuji has had some excellent sensor tech for years.

Fujifilm X100s

The Lord of the Speedlights shooting a Fujifilm X100s (source). Yep all the cool guys have one, as you are about to find out below. Update: Check out his full review.

You guys know that I’ve been here hammering on this stuff for over 4 years now; I keep telling those morons in Japan that we don’t need more senseless megapixels. What we need is better pixels, not more. We need smoother, better image quality, less noise, and kickass color reproduction and usable dynamic range EVEN AT THE HIGHEST ISOs. And we need that coupled with a fucking lightning fast and sharply accurate AF system that covers the whole fucking frame and could autofocus on the dark side of the moon.

This guy asked to remain anonymous, cuz he’s a wedding photographer and doesn’t want clients googling his name to find my blog with all the fucks and goddamns and stuff like that. Might be a turn-off for the brides. I mean, we all know how this world is full of fucking hypocrites, right? Can’t say “fuck” online cuz it’s rude but meanwhile you wouldn’t wanna hear the stuff they scream out loud in the bedroom at night when they’re busy fitting 12 inches of cock inside their vaginas.

Anyway, I highly recommend you read this guy’s letter below and check out the material he sent along with it. Also let me take this opportunity to let you all know that if there’s something you’re fed up with as well, and would like me to share it on here with everyone, just send it along to me. If it makes sense and if it will make the fuckwads in this industry pay attention, I’ll definitely post it.

Letter to Fake Chuck

Hey Chuck,

Just wanted to drop a line and say thanks for saving me from a Nikon D800 (and possibly even the D4!) Yes, I went to the Nikon website and looked at that shadow banding file you showed your readers (the library shot) when I realized that is where the crop was from. I was shocked.

I have been shooting weddings for eight years. Only 50+ to date, but competition is stiff as you can turn over a rock and find more photographers than lawyers these days. Passing 50 as the sole shooter facing a tsunami of competition is nothing to sneeze at under those conditions (and all strangers, not the Facebook-friends-family network that most rely on!!!)

I have used a digital SLR on all my weddings starting back in 2005… and a Nikon… body and glass.

It was a Fuji sensor that captured everything you see on my website. First an S3 Pro in a frankenstein Nikon F80 body (that felt amazing in the hand surprisingly enough), then an S5 Pro in that venerable Nikon D200 body with only an 11 point AF system! (F#@k me, what the hell do you need 51, or 61 in the Canon, focus points for other than to please the measurebators and marketing dept.) The S5 I bought at the end of its retail life, literally one of the last bodies remaining in Canada.

I love Nikon bodies.

I love Nikon glass.

I love the Nikon flash system (which I believe Canon users have also taken note of).

But I hated the colour and image quality.

Well, maybe hate is too strong a word. Let’s say I did not LOVE the colour as that is what is most important to me, and every photographer I would imagine.

It was not so much the Sony sensor itself as it does produce some amazing files, to be completely honest. But for me, it was

  1. the quality of those files compared to FUJI plus
  2. the WORK you had to do in order to get those amazing images.

It was the 2) part that kept me from buying a full blown Nikon digital system, camera AND sensor, when I started my wedding photography business.

As a wedding photographer, skin tones are everything and the Fuji just nails it, in JPEG, every time under almost any lighting conditions.

When I finally decided on the Fuji S3 Pro back in 2005, it was because I kept reading on DPREVIEW forums just one repeating question about Nikon digital SLR cameras:

“How do you tweak your skin tones?”

“What do you do to get good skin colour?”

“What are your camera settings / photoshop tricks to get good skin tones?”

Over and over and over again… tweaking a Nikon to get what you want from it.

I even had a chance to test out a D300s at one point. Not bad. A very good camera. But… I looked at my Fuji colour… then the Nikon… Fuji… Nikon. I realized I still was not getting what I WANTED from the camera as it was. Tweaking… always the tweaking. And I am not talking expected adjustments an corrections. I am talking about getting an overall tone and feel, not just correct colour, straight out of camera.

Granted, in the early days of digital, I think everyone was working those first pixels to get what they wanted compared to film, but I wanted nothing to do with that. I wanted to shoot and get in the can what I was able to do with film and the FUJI S3 came the closest in my opinion and I went with it. (I almost… almost… bought an F100 system if you can imagine.) Pick your body, pick your film. The machine, and the image, were separate (So to speak, glass is important but if the camera is not loaded with film or the sensor dies, there is no photo!) I was not about to compromise on my workflow (Nikon and Fuji film) just because digital came along to up-end the apple cart on the whole photographic industry.

The D3 was a game changer. This is just plain fact… but now also history.

It was just too much $$$ for me at that stage of my business and there was still just something… off about the colour (as far as skin tones go, landscapes are stunning). Even after all the development since the S3, and the S5 being an older system, I just did not trust the D3, for the cost, to get the image quality I wanted… EASILY. I knew WORKING a D3 file to get what I wanted was way easier than before when I was looking at a D2/D200. The colour, the dynamic range, all greatly improved. Nikon truly nailed a product launch with the D3 (especially in low light / high ISO performance). So much so that I believe many Canon shooters switched to the dark side (there is no light for fan-boys). If I could have afforded it, I would have bought a D3 instead of the S5 (2009). I was even close to doing so again in 2011 when I realized there was no FUJI S6 Pro coming down the pipe no matter how much I dreamed about it or what rumors you could find on DPREVIEW. I think Nikon saw the writing on the wall – lots of glass sales, but a lot of Nikon DSLR camera bodies sitting on retail shelves if they gave Fuji even an old D2 body, or even a D300 body, which they still could do and I would buy it in a heartbeat.

So, I have hung onto my S5 well past it’s prime and it has kept up, but the low light/high ISO performance is just not cutting it anymore. And at 6 MP, the resolution is just not there to compete with the other professionals that I am now in camp with. (12 mp would be perfect, 36 is just stupid and Nikon knows better as it championed “it is not the megapixels” with the D2H.)

So here I am again… looking, reviewing… and wanting to find nothing more than those good days in the FUJI S3 forum on dpreview – a ton of posts with nothing but, gasp, PHOTOS on display! No gear talk, no “what is your camera settings” or “what photoshop action did you use.” Just plenty of stunning images with amazing colour and skin tones, straight out of camera jpegs. My first wedding with my S3 Pro? Out of the box, a weekend test to confirm it worked, shot the wedding straight to JPEG. No camera adjustments, no photoshop tweaking other than density, colour cast and saturation, if it needed it. If you go to my website you can still find S3 images in my portfolio!!! I have printed one 4ft by 6 feet and it looks stunning.

I found your killer blog on one of the last links I had googled for Canon 1DX promotional videos (having just watched the Nikon D4 WHY video… and how SOFT… oh hell… out of focus, let’s be honest if that is what “sharp” is with D4 video)… and I am glad I clicked that last link.

The fact Canon tried to sue and shut you down three years ago cemented my already gut feeling about the new lineup of Nikon, full-frame, pro DSLRs and all the criticism you have written about them.

Not gunna do it.

I LOVE NIKON!!!! I love their ergonomics and handling, the glass… the flash system… everything… still do.

But that S5 has got to go and the 1DX is going to be my future system if Nikon does not get their act together. I have not invested in full frame body and glass (well, not a lot anyway) as the S5 is APS-C so this is not a small amount of $$$ we are talking about.

That said… I was wondering if you would do a blog post for me. If Nikon has any sense at all, or just plain fear of bankruptcy as I think these issues are THAT BAD for a company that is PRIMARILY imaging (unlike Canon and its wide R&D and products in other fields)…

If you want to send a message to Nikon as you did to Canon to prove you are no fan boy of anyone… just great cameras and great photos…

Then tell Nikon this.


Seriously. With all due respect to Sony, can I be more clear about what I want from Nikon?

And I don’t think I am alone.

Have you seen the shots from the Fuji X-Pro1?

Here are just a few links:

Google search for sample photos.

Fuji X-Pro1 vs Sony NEX-7 vs Olympus OM-D E-M5 – Low Light Test

Check out the low light A$$ DESTRUCTION of the X-Pro 1 in that clip above at the 7:30 mark. Stunning.. just @#$% “Jizz in your pants brilliant.”

Ummm. Maybe. Ummm. Yes. :: Fuji X-Pro 1 Review

And a video on Zack Arias using it.

Here’s one link to a professional D4 wedding shooter who is looking at incorporating the X-Pro 1: (Provisional) Review: Fuji X-Pro 1. As you can see from Ryan’s work here, the D4 does create AMAZING photos.

But, why bring along an X-Pro 1 to a friend’s wedding shoot? Is not the D4 enough? And LOOK AT THE COLOUR compared to the X-Pro 1. Can you see what I am talking about? The tone? The feel? There is just… something… about FUJI colour that makes my heart want to hold it forever. Nikon… is just a little… yellow/green. And I know those images from the D4 are not straight-out-of-camera JPEGS. The X-PRO1 images very likely are.

Note the D3 in the camera size comparison shot (Where is his D4? Is the X-Pro 1 BEFORE his D4 purchase?). Note the death of all Sony attempts at setting industry standards (BETAMAX, memory stick, XQD?). Note the smaller, mirrorless system creep-up on all DSLRs for pros. Note that Canon, Sony, and Fuji are all competing in those spaces with their own sensors that they have 100% access to the full image quality from because they design the sensor in-house.

Note to Nikon: You DON’T have a lot of wiggle room here to rest on your reputation and skate over this storm. What happened to the D2H sensor? A 4mp beast that resolved incredibly higher than its MP rating if I am not mistaken. That was Nikon’s in-house sensor… and its development just died. I read a wildlife photographer that picked up a D2H and the files were very good for the time it was developed. With everyone focused on the megapixel race, Nikon focused on quality. Maybe I am a loner again, but I liked the D2H files that I saw from the Nikon website.

What happened?

I love Nikon. I would even take a D4 if given one (actually, I would prefer a D3s if I am being 100% honest), but I am not alone in wanting more from Nikon than it has delivered. This review also swayed my move to Canon and away from the D4.


For a 16mp, APS-C size sensor in the X-Pro 1, that FUJI X-TRANS would wipe out BOTH Canon and Nikon if they ever… ever… put out even a half respected DSLR body. If you look at their pro-sumer line, they are getting there.

Even Canon shooters are using the X-Pro 1 professionally.


I really like the Canon colour (and may soon love it in the 1Dx) as it has been getting my attention over the years… but still… to date, even with the 1Dx… this is how I dumb-it-down between Nikon and Canon in terms of colour quality.

Nikon… skin tones are chalky, no life, no zest.

Canon… skin tones are milky, like a good white chocolate.

Fuji… skin tones are PERFECT!!!

With my FUJI S5… either I got faster and better at colour correction… or the sensor just NAILS COLOUR/EXPOSURE no matter what light you are in EVERY TIME! I swear, I could shoot a wedding and if I had to, just hand the cards over at the end of the night. The jpegs are THAT good. My assistant was stunned that I shoot straight to JPEG. Or, scared to death if she had to do it to be more accurate. When I went to the S5, I was colour correcting my own work in 1/3 of the time because the files were that much of an improvement over my S3. I am impressed to hear (and see) that some of the 1Dx out-of-camera jpegs are also that good.

But still… that FUJI colour. The Fuji sensor was not perfect. It was softer to be sure, much like the D4, but the X-Pro1 seems to have resolved that issue. I still believe many are saying not for landscapes or true sharp and deep depth of field images. The APS-C size, while amazing, does not compare to full-frame pixel well depth in that regard.

But man… can you just imagine what a full-frame X-TRANS sensor in a Nikon body would create?

I still might go with a 5D Mark III and an X-PRO 1 for weddings. I just don’t know. But that larger pixel well on the 1Dx is what I want. The greater dynamic range and lower noise is not just marketing jargon.

Canon EOS 1Dx Hands-on Review

Scrub to 11:30 in that video if it does not work as the pixel depth and ISO is compared between the 1Dx and the Mark III.

I have done a lot or research on these two cameras. I still want to get a D4 and a 1Dx in my hands for a week to play with if I can. But I suspect… the 1Dx is going to win and sadly, the D4 will confirm all I have so far learned about it from you and others linked above.

As a Nikon shooter, I am seriously concerned this D4/D800 gaff could put Nikon into bankruptcy. Especially with the simultaneous release by Canon of the 1D C cinema camera… and 1D X in one body. This is NOT a normal time in digital photography… the stills+motion movement is coming, and Nikon just might get left behind.

As you noted Nikon finding out via the accounting department – “stiff market competition” and declining sales. And as I pointed out above, Nikon just does NOT have the wiggle room to NOT respond to customers and loyal users. They simply do not have the deep R&D pockets nor capital/corporate base of Canon. I would not be surprised to see FUJI outright purchase Nikon if it gets that bad and if they really want a piece of the pro DSLR market. Being smaller has worked in Nikon’s favour in the past as they have always found a way to do more with less and catapult far in front of other competitors (The D1) by using that smaller company magic of creating outstanding cameras for professionals.

But something has gone wrong. Horrifically wrong by the looks of things. It looks like Nikon decided to relax with the D4 thinking the D3 put them ahead of Canon for good.

I mean come on… in camera HDR is all Joe McNally is asking for… and Canon is the one to do it just for him in the Mark III?

Change… is the only constant.

Kodak thought they had deep enough history and loyalty to survive the digital revolution.

I think Nikon might be at risk of facing the same fate as Kodak if they don’t respond to professional complaints and customer needs.

Thanks again for saving me $10,000+ on Nikon gear I would regret the moment I looked at my first out-of-camera jpeg.

UPDATE 22/3/2013: The Lord of the Speedlights just published his full review of the Fuji X100s. It just confirms everything the letter above already discussed, and then some. Looks like I’ll have to get the finance department here at Canon USA to allocate some budget to get a couple of those babies so I can uh… use them for R&D and uh… competitive analysis. *clears throat*

Mirrorless, 5D Mark III, D800, DxO Mark Sucks Balls

I just got back from a short photowalk around town with my pre-production Canon mirrorless camera and I have to say it’s a nice little camera. I think most people will love it. What kinda sucks about it is the sensor. It’s not bad but it can’t go up against the latest Sony sensors in their mirrorless cameras. Japan really needs to do something about this in the very near future or else Sony is going to kill us with their dynamic range and low noise. All the pattern noise and banding shit has got to become a thing of the past.

The 5D Mark III, which is the world’s best DSLR right now regardless of what those fucking idiots at DxO Labs say, still has that pattern and banding crap, although you have to mess with the exposure in post for it to become an issue. But there’s none of that on the Sony sensors, and so Canon Inc. needs to improve. If Sony can do it, so can we.



This might not be surprising to you, but people are still emailing me and telling me how wrong I am about the piece of shit D800. I have to say, the feeling I have right now has got to be similar to the feeling John Harrington had when he was practically the only one complaining about the massive amounts of noise on the Nikon D200 and D2x. The noise issue on the D200 was legendary. Even Nikon was ignoring him. Yet, after a few years suddenly everyone’s like “oh yeah of course, there was an issue with excessive noise, everyone knows that?!” Mark my words, after some time has passed and the fucking fanboys quiet down, everyone is going to see the D800 for the inferior camera that it is. And then everyone is going to realize how stupid the DxO Mark tests really are. Down sampling to 8MP for comparisons? Why don’t you guys down sample all your images to 100×100 pixels instead? Today most people view only thumbnails anyway. Just fucking down sample everything to 100×100 pixels and do your tests. That way even my crappy Blackberry phone can look like it rivals the 5D Mark III.

DxOMark sucks balls

Wait jest wan bombaclad minute, mon! Dees nuh look irie ta me!?

The biggest joke is that they claim that the D800 is better than the 5D Mark III in low light. You can’t even begin to imagine how many facepalms the above image is worth. If the D800 is so great, then why is Ken Rockwell shooting with the 5D Mark III instead?

The Canon EOS 5D Mark III is the world’s best digital SLR. It easily lets us create smooth, clean, beautiful and colorful images in any sort of light. It handles much better my cheaper Nikon D800 and D800E; my 5D Mark III handles and sounds smoother, quieter, feels better and makes better-looking images than my Nikon D800E.

The 5D Mark III also has the best LCD ever put in a DSLR, while the LCD on my Nikon D800E is smaller in actual use, and most importantly, the Nikon’s LCD isn’t color-accurate. My 5D Mark III LCD is big, bold, bright, sharp, clear, colorful and accurate, and automatically varies its brightness brilliantly for use in any light. (My D800E also has auto LCD brightness control, but doesn’t work well enough to want to use it.)

To shooters upgrading from the Nikon D800 and D800E, the Mark III is greatly improved over the Mark II, while the Nikon D800 and D800E are a step backwards in ergonomics and LCD quality from the D700. Therefore the status quo has reversed; I used to prefer Nikon, while today with the 5D Mark III, I greatly prefer it to my D800E. Pixels impress amateurs, while guys like me who shoot every day for a living are more impressed at how my 5D Mark III lets me get more of the right pixels faster, not just more of the wrong ones.

The 5D Mark III is the world’s best DSLR.

It’s a huge improvement over the 5D Mark II due to the improvements from automatic color fringe correction, and the greatly improved power, depth-of-field and playback controls.

If you shoot Canon, you deserve one of these.


I told you so.

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY SHOOT A D800 WITHOUT A TRIPODAll those extra pixels on the D800 are worth jack shit when they also contain more noise. The camera is also slower at just 4fps and the autofocus system just can’t compete with the 5D Mark III. The D800 might perform OK if you have to do an assignment at a retirement home shooting old people moving around in their wheelchairs. And I’ve been told that even then you may need to shoot from a heavy duty industrial grade tripod to get sharp images. But for anything more serious, you’ll want the 5D Mark III. Plus the extra resolution on the D800 is marginal at best. We’ve reached a point where more resolution on the 35mm sensor isn’t giving us any significant return. Best to keep the resolution at a decent level in the 24MP range and instead focus on speed, accuracy and image quality (sharpness, low noise, dynamic range, chromatic aberration correction etc. etc.). Those are the things that really matter. Capturing the right pixels faster, instead of a lot more crap slower.

And with the 5D Mark III, Canon Inc. did well in that area. Yes, yes, it could be better, and we’re going to work on it. What will be much hotter in the near future instead of senseless megapixels, are features based on computational photography. The new HDR feature on the 5D Mark III should be seen in this light. Instead of worthless extra data (megapixels) let’s improve the quality of the data we do have and do some meaningful stuff with it.

Joe McNally (left) and a random Sock Puppet, separated at birth?

I was told Japan actually put in the HDR feature to get Joe McNally to switch to Canon faster. Most people aren’t aware of this but we’ve been in talks with McNally for well over 3 years now to make the switch. Negotiations have been tough, to say the least, and one of McNally’s demands was to get him an in-camera HDR feature because it’s an absolutely essential feature to him (each of his shots is combined from at least 7-8 exposures), and Nikon just doesn’t want to deliver. Combined with our new Speedlite system (600EX-RT and ST-E3-RT) based on radio frequency technology, I’m expecting McNally to become a Canon Explorer of Light within a few months. And I hope he takes his friend with him. You may want to check out his latest performance on The Grid with Scott Kelby. Whenever those 2 guys get together they crack me up.

Anyway, I’m late for my meditation session with the swami. I’ll be back soon with more. In the mean time, get a 5D Mark III and do some real photography.

The Empire Strikes Back

Man I’m so tired. The last couple of months have just been soo hectic. There’s so much exciting stuff going on here at Canon, and I  have to tell you I’m starting to really enjoy my work again. Many of you loyal readers will undoubtedly still remember how depressed I was during most of 2009 and 2010. I even developed a drinking problem and started doing drugs. I got hospitalized a couple of times, got into rehab, and really put my family through hell.

But starting in early 2011 things began to change. It seemed like all the feedback we’ve been giving Japan in the previous years started to bring some positive change. Many of you wrote in to ask why I wasn’t updating the blog back then. Well the answer is that 1) I was busy and 2) I honestly had nothing to write about. Especially point 2 is going to be a huge problem from now on. Seeing how Canon Inc. were doing their best to listen to the feedback we were giving them during the development of the 1DX and other new models, I just couldn’t continue to give them hell on my blog like I used to. It just wouldn’t be fair. I wanted to write about the positive developments, but obviously I can’t discuss unannounced camera models here on my blog, and also, I didn’t want to get too optimistic too soon. I’ve done that in the past and got burned. It seemed like Canon Inc. were listening, but you never really know until the official announcement is made and everything is pretty much set in stone. So all I could do at the time was make cryptic remarks about exciting times coming to EOS.

When the 1DX was finally announced last year, it was a very emotional moment for me. All the hard work and all the effort we put into making Canon Inc. realize what we wanted paid off in the end. And it’s not just me, but it’s all of you. All the photographers who weren’t afraid and told Canon what they wanted, what sucked, what needed improvement, all of you who supported this blog and left comments with your experiences, all of that helped. Japan took notice.

After the press release for the 1DX went out, I went into my office with tears in my eyes, sat down behind my desk and just cried for 15 minutes. It felt really good, I felt happy. Adachi came into my office moments later and hugged me, and it was clear to both of us that we were heading for a much brighter future with Canon.

Just a few months after that we announced the C300 and I was just ecstatic. The entire industry shook on top of its foundations when the C300 and 1D C were announced. Of course we also had Vincent Laforet, eternal peace and blessings be upon him, with a great new video to show off the C300 too. It was awesome.

Vincent Laforet, peace be with Him

Vincent Laforet, peace be with Him, got his hair done by a professional hair stylist before the C300 launch. Thanks to Philip Bloom for bringing this to our attention.

Philip Bloom has a review of the C300 on Vimeo:

It was immediately clear to everyone that Canon was making a major come back. And we’re going to fucking trash everything out there in the coming months. Remember when I wrote this:

Nikon’s apparent decision to start fucking up really is coming at a bad time. Because here at Canon Inc. we’ve had a couple of months now, okay years actually, to regroup our efforts, and shit are going to happen for Nikon, that much I can tell you. Ever since the release of the D3 Nikon has given us blow after blow, and we haven’t been quite able to answer back. I mentioned in a previous post how the release of the D7000 was like the attack on Pearl Harbor to us, taking out both our 60D and 7D at the  same time – a rather serious offence. And if you saw the movie “Pearl Harbor”, you can maybe remember the scene with the Japanese general after they attacked Pearl Harbor, when he mentioned that “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.” He might also have said “Gentlemen, we have just kicked a rabid dog.” Nikon has either awoken a sleeping giant, or they have kicked a rabid dog, but either way, all I know is that we’re going to fucking own them! Make no mistake about it, Canon Inc. is at war. This is no time for Nikon to be screwing around. Trust me on this.

Well my friends, the sleeping giant has awoken. Not only are we going to fucking own Nikon and Sony, but even RED got owned. RED’s timing to start fucking up with the announcement of the Scarlet-X was pretty terrible. I laughed my ass off when Jannard couldn’t even properly announce the Scarlet-X. This is what happens when a bunch of amateurs think they can go up against Canon Inc. The Scarlet-X was announced 3 years ago for about $3000, has been fucking vaporware ever since, and now all of a sudden you’ll have to pay $14000 for a complete Scarlet-X, and get this >>> if you can actually buy one. Good luck with that. If you get one, I’m sure you’ll appreciate the quality of their forever in beta software too LMAO. But seriously, the C300 has the best image quality and overall features. And remember, the C300 is basically a version 1.0 product and a pretty incredible one at that. The shit is really going to hit the fan for RED when the C300 Mark II hits the market in the future. Not to mention the 1D C.

You absolutely, most certainly, fucking can - Canon

You absolutely, most certainly, fucking can - Canon

And Nikon? LMFAO. Nikon can’t possibly hope to compete. The entire EOS ecosystem is fucking unparalleled in this industry. Make no mistake about it, the sleeping giant is awake. What you guys have witnessed in the last few months is the empire striking back in a very big way.

Remember when I said the following:

Everyone has been busy praising Nikon and Sony in the last few months, either for their outstanding sensors or their recent innovations. But it seems that everyone ignores the fact that Nikon and Sony have only now gotten to a point with their sensors where Canon Inc. had been over 3 years ago! The image quality on the D7000 and the Sony A580 have just recently caught up with the image quality we had 3 years ago on our 40D! The image quality on the D700 that everyone is raving about, existed almost 3 years earlier on the original EOS 5D. Yeah that’s right, fucking recognize! It took Nikon and Sony 3 years to catch up. Imagine where we are now. Yeah sure, we fucked up with our latest sensors, I’ll give you that, but this doesn’t mean we didn’t innovate. We still have our 3 year lead, I promise you, and you’re going to find out about it soon! Y’all better prepare for penetration!

Nikon, Sony and RED had better start stocking up on personal lube.

But don’t take my word for it, you can already see what’s happening with the G1X. Check out what DXO Mark had to say about the G1X, it fucking slaughtered the competition!

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

The G1X even fucking owns the Nikon 1!!!

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

You can see why DXO Mark would call the Powershot G1X the best compact camera ever made. The way it completely trashes the other competing models is just ridiculous. In fact, I’m surprised this is even legal.

It wasn’t so long ago when Nikon was the one on top in DXO Mark benchmarks. In fact, Nikon has been consistently on top in the last 3-4 years:

I know what you’re saying right now, yes I’ve gotten the emails, “but Chuck, these people at DXOMark are saying the Nikon sensors are all better compared to Canon sensors in the same category.” Go ahead and believe those morons at DxO Labs if you want to. Who are you going to believe? A bunch of ganja smoking Europeans who don’t have anything to do and slapped up a website with some “data” to kill some time, or your own eyes? And get this, according to them the Nikon D90 has a better sensor compared to the Canon EOS 5D? Daat’s riiight, mon! When you ees high, ewrytheeng ees possybal!

As you can see I wasn’t quite happy with the results from DxO Labs back then, but obviously now that Canon is ahead in the benchmarks, this no doubt means that their data got a lot more accurate over the years. This shows improvement, and I like that.

But there’s one downside to all of this.

With all of these very positive developments, Canon Inc. is taking the wind out of my sails here on this blog. If they don’t fuck up anymore, what the hell am I going to write about? I may even have to start thinking about shutting down this blog.

Because trust me, you’ve seen nothing yet. The last few releases have just been the tip of the iceberg. There’s a lot more coming to EOS in the following months. Obviously we’ve got the 5DX coming soon, but there’s still more in the pipeline. Our ancient flash system is screaming for a replacement. We’ve got some absolutely killer new lenses coming up. Moses recently wrote about the 8-15mm f/4L Fisheye lens, which those morons at PDN thought wasn’t that great. But we’ve got the 200-400 f/4L 1.4x coming up as well, which is at least as fucking awesome and innovative as the 8-15mm fisheye. If that lens doesn’t win the PDN Gear of the Year award there’s no hope left anymore for anyone at PDN.

So what do you guys think? Personally, I think it’s time for a good cup of cappuccino.

Is Nikon the new Canon?

The future Nikon logo

Possibly Nikon's future logo.

Is it just me or is Nikon receiving all kinds of bad press lately? It may appear as if they’ve just whooped our asses here at Canon with the D7000, but make no mistake about it, shit are happening at Nikon.

I thought random dots in images were unique to us, but with the release of the D7000 Nikon decided it would be cool to imitate us once again. It’s not enough that they blatantly ripped off our G series design (G12 etc.) with their P7000 like the fucking hacks that they are. Noooo, they had to start adding randomly colored dots to their images too. And typical of Nikon, they grabbed the chance to be the first to market with the random dots in video mode.

D7000 Colored Dots from Hell

D7000 Colored Dots from Hell

Now they can brag about how they were the first to introduce that feature in video mode, while we just stuck with the implementation in photos on the 5D Mark II. Just like how we were the first to offer HD video on a DSLR handicapped with manual focus while they were the first to offer continuous AF in video mode on a DSLR. I’m just waiting right now for them to implement our ghosting feature in video mode on their next DSLR so they can claim to be the first with that in video mode too. It could be any day now.

Fortunately for the Nikon fanboys, Nikon was quick to acknowledge the problem but tried hard to make it seem like it’s not that big of a deal:

“We have received reports from some users of the Nikon D7000 digital SLR camera regarding the occurrence of noticeable bright spots with movie recording under certain conditions.

Translation: We’re getting fucking spammed by hundreds of Nikon fanboys about hot pixels in movies made with the D7000 but we’re going to make it sound like it’s only happening in *certain* conditions making you think that it won’t affect you. Please continue to buy the D7000!

Nikon believes that these bright spots are not normally noticeable, and therefore do not indicate a problem with practical use. However, with further investigation of the reports received, we have confirmed that bright spots may be noticeable when recording movies of especially dark scenes or subjects.

Translation: We would so love to ignore this altogether and pretend like our noses are bleeding, but this shit could get out of hand fast so we have to do something. Look, the hot spots do not indicate a problem. Oh wait, we have confirmed that they do, in fact, indicate a problem. God, it’s so hard to make up our minds.

In order to provide our customers with better products, Nikon is currently preparing to release a firmware upgrade with measures to reduce the occurrence of these bright spots for the D7000. Further details will be announced at a later date.”

Translation: In order to avoid a class action lawsuit and for the shit to really hit the fan we’re going to release some kind of fix in the future to try to hide the problem because admittedly we can’t fucking fix it without a  hardware recall, but we’re not going to just outright say it like it is. Nope, we’re going to make it sound positive, you see, and hope your IQ is at a level where we can get away with it.

All of this is of course straight from the Canon Inc. playbook. They even rip off our PR spin strategies. I keep wondering if there’s any originality left in those bastards. It’s either that, or making problems somehow sound positive is some kind of Japanese tradition. Nikon does it, and I know Canon Inc. does it. Every time there’s an issue with products, Canon Inc. and Nikon refer to it as a “phenomenon”.  Why can’t they just call it a fucking “problem”? Or an “issue”? Or more accurately, a fucking “defect“? Noooo that sounds too negative, people might become afraid to buy the products! And we wouldn’t want that now, would we? So they just call it a “phenomenon” or “occurrence” almost making it seem like it’s functionality by design. And consumers, mostly being the fucking brain-dead sheep that they are, fall for it too.

Nikon G series Rip Off

On the left the Canon G12. On the right, the Nikon P7000 rip off. Any resemblance is, of course, purely coincidental.

So all of you D7000 owners, please rest assured that the hot pixel “occurrence” has been “reduced” in the new firmware update:

Bright spots were sometimes noticeable with live view mode or movie recording of especially dark scenes or subjects.  Occurrence of this issue has been reduced. 

Translation: Yeah okay, so the bright spots were visible in movies but we have now…err… made them less visible… *ahem* So it’s fixed, OK? OK.  So we’ll just go ahead and mark this issue as fixed on our side and please stop bothering us now and continue to buy the D7000.

Have you heard about the “phenomenon” chip manufacturer Intel is currently dealing with regarding their Sandy Bridge chipset?  The result of an admitted “design error” is a $700 million costing product recall while all shipments of the product have been halted. There’s no mention of Intel trying to “reduce” “occurrences” or “phenomenon”. Nothing the fuck is getting reduced, the goddamn products are being fucking recalled and properly fixed, just like you would fucking expect. If Canon Inc. had done as much during the 1D Mark III  debacle, or the 50mm f/1.2 backfocus problems (still not “reduced” by the way) we would not have lost so many photographers to Nikon. On the contrary, Canon Inc. has demonstrated to be perfectly happy with shipping known defective products sometimes even while refusing to say anything about issues hundreds of photographers around the world are complaining about (5D mirror falling off, 50mm f/1.2 issues for example). It will be winter in hell before Canon or Nikon ever do something similar to what Intel did. The sun is going to come up from the west before Canon and Nikon grow some fucking balls and do the right thing. John Harrington is going to sign up with Getty Images before Canon and Nikon man up and start telling the truth. The Lord of the Speedlights is going to stop using speedlights and switch to Profoto gear before Canon and Nikon… oh wait, he already has switched to Profoto gear. Sorry, my bad.

But getting back on topic, Nikon are just copying everybody in the industry and then go on pretending like they’re unique. As if we still needed proof of this, just recently they were put to shame before the entire industry when someone found out that they were actually using a Sony sensor in the D7000 while people initially claimed the sensor was designed by Nikon. Then this Tetsuro Goto guy from Nikon pops up:

“We have a longstanding relationship with Sony. If the sensors for Nikon D3s, D3 and D700 are designed by Nikon, Nikon D3x and those of the small APS-C sensors are from Sony. We want to use our own sensors in SLRs most popular [small sensor APS-C, Ed], as the performance of our sensors are better. However, it will take some time as it takes to achieve economies of scale.”

Tetsuro Goto

Nikon executive Tetsuro Goto: "We design our own sensors."

When this news broke I almost fell off of my chair while laughing. For months I had to listen to people yapping about how fucking cool the Nikon sensor in the D7000 was and how we sucked and blah blah blah yappidy yap yap, when in reality those fucking hacks at Nikon can’t even design some of their own sensors. Our recent sensors may suck, but at least we fucking design our own! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh God. Boy did this make me feel good. I even uncorked a bottle of champagne to celebrate. Suddenly everyone stopped talking about how cool Nikon is and everyone started mentioning the power of Sony. And is it just me or do you also get a mental image of the Mortal Kombat character “Goro” when you read the  name Tetsuro Goto?

And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse for Nikon, it actually does. It’s public knowledge that our secret weapon here at Canon is our “Golden Trinity” of primes, as people like to refer to it, which include the 35L, 85L and 135L, but actually also extends to the 24L and the 50L. All of them f/1.4 and even f/1.2 lenses which every Nikon fanboy has long dreamed about. So Nikon, being in the business of copying everyone in the goddamn industry like the fucking hacks that they are, set out to develop a trinity of their own. It’s absolutely no coincidence that the Nikkor 24G,  35G and 85G all f/1.4 all came out after each other in such a short timeframe, the 35G being the most recent. Nikon knew they had to do something about our secret weapon, so these lenses had high priority. But perhaps a little too high because it looks like they’re hastily trying to release products that aren’t quite finished yet. I mean just look at us, we announced the EF 8-15mm f/4 L fisheye lens all the way back in August 2010, and if you’re lucky you might be able to actually buy one in March 2011. That’s obviously how it’s supposed to be. You have to take your time with these things. If you don’t, shit are happen, which is what happened in Nikon’s case.

Photographer Lloyd Chambers had issues with the 24G and had the following to say:

I am more impressed with optical quality of the 24mm f/1.4G than ever, especially at f/1.4, but the autofocus is best described as useless, at least with my sample, because it cannot be relied upon to deliver the performance of which the optics are capable.

My my my… impressive optical quality paired with fucking terrible autofocus. That surely is a winning combination, wouldn’t you say? That almost sounds like our 50L. But you could really, seriously, feel the frustration Chambers was dealing with, when he said the following about the 35G:

In terms of autofocus, the 35/1.4G is surely the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever used of any brand, at least on my Nikon D3x and D3s (that’s $13K worth of pro camera bodies, folks). How can Nikon ship this garbage? Bad lens? Well, the other 35/1.4G sample I shot two days ago showed similar issues under field conditions, and could not focus properly on an eye for a portrait.

I laughed so hard I had to unbuckle my belt to make sure it wouldn’t suddenly snap because of all the pressure. I started laughing in the middle of the “biggest piece of crap” sentence and by the end of that line my eyes were so teared up I couldn’t read the rest. After this I just had to uncork a second bottle of champagne.

Chambers wasn’t the only one dealing with the 35G AF issues, just check out the review done by Ryan Brenizer:

Users expecting the same lighting speed of the Canon 35mm f/1.4L will be disappointed at first — like the new Nikon 24mm and 85mm f/1.4s, this is not a speed champ, being just a bit faster than the 24. But it’s very accurate, even at wide apertures — noticeably more so in difficult focusing situations than the 24mm f/1.4 (which I also love, despite its trickiness). I could see right away that it was much easier to get in-focus f/1.4 shots on a dark dance floor with this than with the 24, though not quite as easy as the ludicrously fast-and-accurate 24-70mm f/2.8. I came to trust it pretty quickly.

NOTE: My copy needed serious AF micro-adjustment, about -15. This was not true of my 24G or 85G, but has been true of other lenses like the 135mm f/2. Be sure to test your lenses thoroughly. Micro-adjustment is the best feature invented for cameras since digital sensors.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Brenizer’s 35G needed a micro-adjustment of -15. Fucking -15!!!!!! We’ve had our share of back and front focusing lenses here at Canon, but this is crazy. How far away was the focus plane before that -15 correction? In another galaxy or something? LMFAO. Oh my fucking God. Also notice how Brenizer mentions the “lightning speed” of the Canon 35L and tells you Nikon fanboys not to expect that with the 35G. Yeah that’s right, recogniiize baby!

Backfocus (hel)L

With the release of the 24G and the 35G Nikon finds themselves in back focus hell, something we all thought was unique to Canon. I for one am very much looking forward to see Nikon “reducing” these “occurrences” now. Chambers mentioned recently that he was already talking to them about these issues. And knowing Chambers, Nikon had better do a whole lot more than simply “reducing” “occurrences”.

Nikon’s apparent decision to start fucking up really is coming at a bad time. Because here at Canon Inc. we’ve had a couple of months now, okay years actually, to regroup our efforts, and shit are going to happen for Nikon, that much I can tell you. Ever since the release of the D3 Nikon has given us blow after blow, and we haven’t been quite able to answer back. I mentioned in a previous post how the release of the D7000 was like the attack on Pearl Harbor to us, taking out both our 60D and 7D at the  same time – a rather serious offence. And if you saw the movie “Pearl Harbor”, you can maybe remember the scene with the Japanese general after they attacked Pearl Harbor, when he mentioned that “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.” He might also have said “Gentlemen, we have just kicked a rabid dog.” Nikon has either awoken a sleeping giant, or they have kicked a rabid dog, but either way, all I know is that we’re going to fucking own them! Make no mistake about it, Canon Inc. is at war. This is no time for Nikon to be screwing around. Trust me on this.

Everyone has been busy praising Nikon and Sony in the last few months, either for their outstanding sensors or their recent innovations. But it seems that everyone ignores the fact that Nikon and Sony have only now gotten to a point with their sensors where Canon Inc. had been over 3 years ago! The image quality on the D7000 and the Sony A580 have just recently caught up with the image quality we had 3 years ago on our 40D! The image quality on the D700 that everyone is raving about, existed almost 3 years earlier on the original EOS 5D. Yeah that’s right, fucking recognize! It took Nikon and Sony 3 years to catch up. Imagine where we are now. Yeah sure, we fucked up with our latest sensors, I’ll give you that, but this doesn’t mean we didn’t innovate. We still have our 3 year lead, I promise you, and you’re going to find out about it soon! Y’all better prepare for penetration!

And for those of you who always mentioned how I was a product of Nikon’s marketing department or how I was probably a Nikon fanboy, do you still think I am??? HMMM????? Let me hear ya!!

‘Tis the Season to be Fucked

The Canon EOS Hairdryer

In the future Canon DSLRs may closely resemble a hairdryer.

Shit are happening people, shit are happening big time. You’ll know what I’m talking about in a few weeks. I can’t let it all out just yet if I want to keep my job at Canon. And I’m sure most of you will probably wonder right now why I would want to keep my job at Canon in the first place. Well, yes we’re fucking up right now but technically it’s Canon Inc. in Japan that’s really fucking up, while the rest of us just have to deal with their fuckups globally. I continue to believe that if we keep slapping the Japanese in the face with all the problems, things should improve. Now I may not live to see things actually improve, and likely neither will my daughter if things continue the way they’re going now, but maybe my great grandchildren will be able to actually buy a working Canon DSLR in the future with a combination of features that makes sense and hopefully won’t look like a hairdryer. And that’s what I’m ultimately fighting for here on my blog and that’s why I need to keep my job here at Canon USA. I know all of you depend on me and I won’t let you down.

Now having said that, prepare for some major fuckage in the following months leading up to Christmas. Nikon as well as Sony are going to show Canon Inc. what innovation really is. At one point Canon Inc. thought they could get away with small incremental upgrades and minimal investments in innovation, but times have clearly changed. What we’re seeing now is a Canon Inc. that is scrambling to get their asses off of the couch and trying to keep up with the competition that is already way ahead. But in the process of doing that, they’re making decisions about product design that are actually backwards while the competition is taking a step forward. I can’t go into details right now, like I said because I want to keep my job, but I’ll be able to talk about it in a few weeks. It’s fucking hilarious, but sad at the same time depending on your perspective.

For now let’s look at some of the emails I got recently:

Dear Sir,
I used to be a Nikon user when its was a manual system but when the DSLR appear, i switch to Canon gear. I have three body’s 30D, 40D and 50D with two micro lenses 100mm and 180mm. Also i have 28-135mm and 100-400mm lens. I nearly wanted to buy a big lens but decided to hold due to the system did not improve.Specially the noise reduction.

I also have the old Canon camera T90 with the FD 800mm. This is where i cannot understand why canon cannot improve the auto focus system and the noise problem. I hope i can get some answer from the canon rep. about switching to Nikon.

Well I’m not sure the Canon rep. is going to be very helpful to you when it comes to switching to Nikon. But I can tell you that it’s probably best to contact a local Nikon rep. about switching to Nikon as they have been very helpful with this in the past, or so I’ve been told. I have discussed the autofocus and noise problem here on my blog numerous times. I answered a question about the noise and megapixel craziness just a few weeks ago. With regards to the aut-o’-focus system I can tell you that Canon Inc. did try to make some improvements in the 7D and 1D Mark IV, but it’s still not close to what Nikon currently has. In true Canon Inc. style they keep holding back the features in the lower models and it’s going to cost them dearly in the long run. The Nikon D300s has a 51-point AF system while the 7D only has 19 points. And I don’t want to even mention the D700 and the 5D Mark II. So it’s no surprise to me that you’re looking to switch to Nikon to be honest with ya. Reports of people switching to Nikon have only increased in the last few months and the trend continues. We’ve had some high profile people switch to Nikon recently too. The Norwegian photographer who ran the CanonFieldReviews website switched to Nikon after receiving an offer from Nikon and after numerous frustrations with Canon. Remember that this is the same guy I mentioned before who received a 1D Mark IV body to test with a glued CF-card slot. Treat people like crap, and that’s the result you will get. Then we also had Karl Grobl switching to Nikon because “Nikon offers a full frame pro body with high ISO capability for $5000 while Canon’s full frame Mark IIIs is $6,115 and lacks high the newer, cleaner, high ISO settings.” Everyone loves the image quality coming from the Nikon D3s. I’ve been here busting my ass off sending tons of feedback to Canon Inc. year after year about people wanting less megapixels and less noise, but those motherfuckers wouldn’t listen to me. Had they listened to me then today Canon Inc. would have been far better off.

Fake chuck,
I just read a post on Canon Rumors about the possibility of a 5dIII and source was confident that the AF would be improved over the 5dII but not as good as that of the 7D.  What are they thinking?  Do you have any thoughts? Any chance that Canon will stop packing crappy pixels on sensors and try to produce a camera that makes a good f-ing picture so I don’t have to buy Nikon stuff?  Any chance Canon will even try to compete with Nikon’s CLS stuff, or are they just going to rely on the same old technology they’ve been using for a decade? Thanks!

They’re a bunch of fucking morons at Canon Inc. that’s why they’ll put an inferior AF system in the 5D Mark III compared to the 7D. Of course we’ll have to see if they’ll actually do it when the 5D Mark III comes out. But knowing (from experience) their past mentality of intentionally crippling products, I for one will not be surprised when it does happen. Nikon put the same 51-point AF system as the D3 in the D700 and it paid off for them. Even the D300s has a 51-point AF system. But at Canon Inc. they’re afraid people won’t buy the 1D series cameras if they release camera bodies in the lower segment that can actually autofocus reliably on a subject. Well guess what’s happening now: People aren’t buying the cheaper cameras and neither are they buying the 1D; Instead they’re all switching to Nikon and increasingly more to Sony. This is what happens when you’re fucking stupid, controlled by greed and want to sell shit to people.

I wouldn’t hope on Canon stopping soon with the megapixel craziness. We’ve seen the 5D Mark II, the 7D, the 550D and the 1D Mark IV, all with more pixels with more noise and other image quality issues, while Nikon is clearly taking things more slowly putting image quality ahead of megapixels. Should I reveal here why the 1Ds Mark IV is being delayed for so long now, or are you guys able to take a good guess if I tell you they want to cram 30+MP on the sensor?

Canon ST-E2 Ass-Rape VS Cactus V4

Canon ST-E2 Ass-Rape VS Cactus V4

As for the Canon flash system, everyone knows that currently it’s no match for Nikon’s system. Canon Inc. has the same problem in this area that they’re suffering from in the DSLR department, and that is that they basically have no fucking clue about what photographers need and refuse to respond to feedback and refuse to innovate. The ST-E2 wireless trigger is so fucking old right now it could have been designed by the Egyptians. Basically a piece of cheap plastic, Canon Inc. continues to charge an astounding $230 for it ($320 suggested retail price). Reliability is terrible outdoors, and you have to maintain line of sight constantly between the ST-E2 and slaves. Has Canon Inc. been unable to produce an improvement over the ST-E2 in the last 8 years?? No they’ve just been slacking, just like they did absolutely nothing to improve the AF system of the old 5D and released a 5D Mark II after 3 years with the same old AF system from the older model. It’s the lazy-ass engineering Canon Inc. has become known for. Meanwhile there are a ton of other manufacturers who have developed all kinds of RF-based flash triggers. Just look at the Cactus V4 wireless trigger set costing a mere $40 for both the trigger and the receiver! They may not be as good as the gold-plated expensive as fuck PocketWizards, but they are A LOT more reliable and practical than Canon Inc.’s infrared system (trust me on this). You mean to tell me that in all these fucking years the big and mighty Canon Inc. has been unable to integrate CactusV4-like RF-based wireless functionality in its flash system?? If Canon Inc. had even the slightest clue about innovation, they would have done this way ahead of the Chinese!!!! Every goddamn DSLR body starting at the prosumer level would have a built-in RF flash trigger, and every flash a built-in RF receiver. Instead they’re selling a goddamn practically worthless ST-E2 for the price of almost 6 complete Cactus V4 trigger sets. This has got to be one of the biggest ass-rapes in the history of mankind. Inferior technology at a premium price. Fucken A! Tell me that your blood pressure isn’t starting to rise when you think about this. Tell me goddammit!

The latest EOS Utility does not work with older cameras. Don’t they suppose to build their cameras to last? To last for what if I cannot connect them to my computer?

No no my friend, I see you’re probably still living in the 80’s and early 90’s. We used to build cameras to last but those times are long gone. Now we don’t want to hear from you if you haven’t recently spent money on one of our latest products. Today we’re largely manufacturing consumables that are built to last 2 to 4 years max, expecting you to come back to us somewhere in that timeframe with more of your money. Even if your camera is still working perfectly fine, we’ll give you all kinds of ‘incentives’ to help you ‘make the decision’ to upgrade. One such incentive is of course to refuse to support your camera any longer. Another such ‘incentive’ is to just release cameras much earlier with half-assed implementations of features and then release a newer model with ‘improvements’ a few months later. That way not only can we then claim to be the first with such a feature (never mind the fact that it’s essentially useless at this stage), but we can also get you to spend more money to ‘upgrade’ later. An example of that was our Live-View functionality. I hope you can now begin to understand how this works. Canon Inc. is just doing their part as a global citizen to keep the economy going.

Now, if you’re complaining about EOS Utility, just be happy you don’t have to deal with the clusterfuck that is Nikon Capture NX 2. Things have really gone bad with camera software drivers when you need the computing power of the Large Hadron Collider to download and process RAW files from your DSLR with reasonable speed.

The 1D Mark IV only allows sport focusing with the longer lenses having AF Stop button… they say that spot focusing reduce the AF area (which could help in low light situations) and they only give it in the long lenses (a wedding photographer using a 400 is what I want to see) BUT the 7D has it…

I am aware of this issue and I have reported it months ago to Canon Inc. I have yet to hear from them about doing something about this. As you may know, one of the first people to notice this issue was photographer Justin Gryba. He’s written about it in his 1D Mark IV review. I’m sad to say that this is just another example of the lack of a clear vision at Canon Inc. when product design is concerned. Why would you put such an important feature like Spot-AF on the 7D, and cripple it on the 1D Mark IV? This does not make sense to normal people like you and me, but I think we all know by now with reasonable certainty that we’re not dealing with normal people at Canon Inc. In fact, I have reason to believe that they’ve already replaced most of their workforce with humanoid robots. The only problem is that their AI appears to be slightly more advanced than an Aibo. Let us all hope that they fix the Spot-AF issue in a future firmware update for the 1D Mark IV.

That’s it for now, I’ve got to get back to finish my preparations for the EOS 60D press briefing in a few weeks. I can’t believe some of the decisions the Japanese made on this one. Their stupidity never ceases to amaze me. This is going to be a classic example of putting three steps forward and then taking two steps backwards. This while we already have Nikon ahead of us and Sony breathing down our necks. Have you seen what’s coming up from Nikon and Sony? Obviously the Nikon D3100 is going to be announced soon, and the D3000 already is outselling the 550D, so the D3100 is only going to make that a lot worse considering the features it’s going to have. But the bigger news is the coming release of the Nikkor AF-S 24-120 f/4 VR lens and the Nikkor AF-S 85mm f/1.4 lens. I mentioned before how the only advantage we still had was our lens lineup, and Nikon has now closed the gap for 95%. All they need now are the new 35mm f/1.4 and 135mm f.2 primes and it’s done. Then Nikon will officially have the best DSLR bodies, lenses and flash system. Even Sony is working hard to close the gaps in their lineup with their recent lens announcements. It won’t be long now before they have a DSLR body that’s going to make Canon Inc. executives shit their pants. But Canon Inc. has had plenty of time and plenty of opportunities, and if they keep blowing it every time they’ve got nobody to blame but themselves.

The End of Tech Tips: A sign of the times?

I think most of you know by now that I’ve had a monthly Tech Tips column over at the Digital Journalist website for quite a while now. It seems that this is about to come to an end this year, as Canon has decided to end their financial support to the Digital Journalist. Dirck Halstead had the following to say:

I am afraid that the December issue of The Digital Journalist may be our final issue, at least for a while.


Unfortunately, our principal sponsor, Canon, whose market has also been impacted by these turbulent times, has decided they can no longer afford to provide their financial backing to The Digital Journalist. We are very grateful for the generous support they have given us over the years.

Let me first say that Dirck is a great guy and over the years of working together we’ve become good friends. But what he said there in his letter is bullshit in its purest form. Now I don’t know if Dirck himself doesn’t know what’s going on, and if he really believes the spin from our PR and marketing departments, or if he’s just trying not to piss Canon Inc. off, but it looks like I’m gonna have to have a long chat with him soon.

One thing is true, and that is that we are having some very turbulent times here at Canon. I mean, this is so fucking clear by now especially if you’ve been reading my blog. But it certainly is not because of the economy, as apparently our PR department would like you to believe. Oh no, our market has been impacted BY THE CRAP THAT WE’VE BEEN RELEASING FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS. THAT’S WHAT’S GOING ON! That’s what is causing everyone to switch to Nikon!

Tell me, if  the market is in turbulent times why is Nikon giving away $100,000? Does Nikon have a different economy? Does their market exist in a different economy? Perhaps in an alternate reality? And how about Sony?

No no NO, it’s very clear what’s going on. The graph below says it all.

Maeda: "Competitions set our ass up the cocks!"

I don’t care how the fuck they want to spin this, but the fact is that these turbulent times are our own fault. I have been warning everyone about this ever since I started this blog:

If there really is so much trouble because of the economic crisis, how the fuck is Nikon growing their sales by 333%???

I’m just glad Uchida and Maeda are not in my office right now because I swear to God I would have kicked both their asses and end up in jail. It’s at times like these when I thank God that I don’t own or have access to any kind of heavy firearms. Where is it going to fucking end?? When are enough people inside the company going to wake up so we can kick this gang of morons out of upper management? Are we going to wait for Nikon to drive us into the ground first?? I’ve been busting my ass off year after year for this company, and it just hurts to see all my hard work being wasted by these retards.

I keep saying it, this gang of fucking arrogant morons in upper management are going to drive this company into the ground. Let’s keep ignoring what our customers are asking for, let’s continue the megapixel race, let’s allow quality control to further degrade and continue the fuck-ups and let’s continue to make fucking retarded decisions. Then, we’re going to sell even more products! AND BUSINESS WILL BE GREAT! YEEEEHAAAWW!! FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!

There was a time when Canon was the undisputed king of image quality. Now we’re releasing DSLRs that offer worse image quality, not only compared to older Canon models, but even compared to the latest Nikon models! Do you know how much you have to fuck things up to offer worse image quality compared to Nikon???

I hope the fact that Canon Inc. are now feeling it inside their pockets will make some kind of difference. Hell, let me be honest with you, I have little hope. Fuck… I’m so sorry…

My eyes are filling up with tears right now… sorry to get all emotional on you guys here, really.. it’s…  I can’t help it.. I’m going to miss doing Tech Tips at the Digital Journalist. Sorry Dirck… *sob* .. I have to go now.

EOS 5D Mark II Manual Exposure Control in Video, and Stuff

Today was one of the happiest days I’ve had in the last 3 years of working at Canon USA. For the first time in almost 3 years, I was able to answer the phone and check my email and hear only praise and compliments from happy and excited customers. At the end of the day I sat behind my desk, my eyes filled with tears, and I actually felt that all the hard work we’ve all been doing here is starting to pay off. Those crazy bastards in Japan are finally starting to listen to us! I’m writing this with tears rolling down my cheeks. I’m sorry to get all emotional here on my blog, but most of you know what I’ve been through for the last couple of months, how depressed I’ve been, and now I’m finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel. And the reason?

Now, if only they could also release a working autofocus system for the 5D Mark II by popular demand.

Now, if only they could also release an autofocus system worthy of the 21st century for the 5D Mark II, by popular demand, then we'd be all set.

It started with all those fuckup notices being released by Canon all of a sudden, even for the 3 year old and obsolete EOS 5D. It looked like they realized in Japan that they had a lot to make up to all of us. And now, they’ve actually listened and are going to release a new firmware update for the 5D Mark II which will enable manual exposure control in video mode – a feature that many of our customers have been asking for ever since the release of the camera last year. This move surprised everyone and has gotten everyone very excited. Not only because of the actual feature that’s going to be released in the new firmware, but also because of the goodwill that Canon is displaying by doing this. This is the Canon I have always known, the Canon I joined and have worked for for all those years.

We’ve managed to piss so many people off in the last few years, it’s just unbelievable. That’s why we have people like my pal Thomas Hawk walking around with their Canon gear with all the Canon logos covered with black tape. Like he explains on his website, he got so pissed at us recently over the 5D Mark II that he decided he’s not going to walk around advertising our products anymore. And who can blame the guy? It’s still difficult to get a 5D Mark II today! Even the goddamn battery for it is not available anywhere. We’ve recently launched two new tilt-shift lenses as well, but guess what? You can’t actually find one anywhere.

So there is still a lot to be done, still a huge mess to clean up, and a lot to fix, believe me. And even though I’m more hopeful now than I’ve been for a long time, we’re in a time right now when the competition is becoming more and more frightening to us. And I think that this is one of the reasons why the old farts at Canon Inc. are starting to do something about all the issues we’ve been having.

They’ve still not managed to stabilize the situation at Canon Inc. in Japan, which I reported about earlier. After my update, Pentax announced the K7 camera, sending Maeda into intensive care, and we learned that Sony is now in the final stages of preparations for the launch of an A500 and/or A550 camera. And so is Nikon for their D400, which according to the information I have, is going to cast a very big and dark shadow over our release of the 60D later this year. But until that happens, I’m going to enjoy these precious moments we’re having right now.

Finally I want to take this opportunity to congratulate Bryan Carnathan of with his daughter getting published on the cover at the age of… 10. She was using a Canon Powershot S400. And that’s a pretty good picture too. Now, when you see this, you undoubtedly start to think. We had a discussion in the comments of the previous post about soccer moms now being able to take better pictures at an event with cheaper gear compared to pros with heavy and expensive gear, and I think the fact that today a kid at the age of 10 can take a picture using a relatively cheap point and shoot camera, that is worthy of a front cover, is something to start worrying about if you’re a pro photographer. Yeah, you’re probably laughing right now, but you won’t be laughing when you start to hear about Jeff Ascough losing a wedding to a 12 year old. And that will be roughly at the same time when John Harrington will publish an article on his blog, specifically targeting those kids, explaining to them the concept of “bad karma” and how it relates to photography. Meanwhile Ken Rockwell will update his website telling them why they should be shooting film instead. And when Dan Heller, shortly after that, publishes a 50 page essay on the subject on his blog, is when you’ll know it’s time to start applying for that job at Mc Donalds.

The Sony Problem

Well, there goes my weekend. I was heading home from work a while ago, expecting to be able to take some rest this weekend and spend time with my family, when all of a sudden three black SUVs appear out of nowhere at high speed and stop right in front of me. Doors fly open and a couple of guys in black suits with red ties and dark sunglasses jump out and run towards me while yelling “WESTFALL?! CHUCK WESTFALL?!” A black helicopter with a red stripe on the sides flew by over us at very low altitude making an incredible noise. I had to cover my eyes with my hands because of all the sand and dust in the air. And I’m thinking oh shit, did we deliver a batch of backfocusing lenses to the government again?  Did the mirror fall out of a 5D again during an important mission in Iran? Perhaps Obama got really pissed this time when Pete Souza showed him the latest out of focus pictures taken with his 5D Mark II? Before I had a chance to say anything I got pushed into one of the SUVs and was told to keep quiet and that everything would get explained shortly.

Turns out we were heading back to my office at Canon USA where there seemed to be some kind of panic situation. I got pushed into a room with other executives where we were told that there would be a direct uplink established with Canon Inc. in Japan shortly for an emergency briefing. While waiting we learned that Maeda got hospitalized some time earlier because of spontaneously developing a serious case of diarrhea in a very short amount of time, and that it was also spreading fast to other executives. What’s more, the toilets at Canon HQ were not designed to be able to handle the incredible load that was developing and arrays of mobile toilets had to be brought in to deal with the capacity problem.

Mobile Toilets standing outside at Canon HQ

Mobile Toilets standing outside at Canon HQ

They’re still struggling to maintain enough capacity as I type this.

The cause of all this became clear during the briefing. It appears Sony has issued a press release announcing three new DSLR cameras. This might sound like a normal thing, but there’s a lot more to it. You may recall that I wrote about Sony a while ago where I mentioned the following:

We’re not very concerned about Olympus here at Canon, but Sony has been scaring the hell out of us for a while now, to be honest. More so than Nikon, and for a lot of reasons. They’ve got their hands on a lot of good technology now, and we’re very concerned about their next wave of DSLRs. If you can recall their DSC-R1 camera from a few years ago, it had a CMOS sensor and really great and reasonably fast contrast-detect autofocus functionality. You could even use the small joystick to move the focus point *anywhere* on the screen and focus *exactly* where you wanted to, even the edges. This was a few years ago. If this makes its way into their DSLRs, with today’s faster processing technology, we’re going to be fucked. We know they have the sensor technology (D3x) with IS, they have the lenses, it’s just a matter of the right software, the pro features and tuning it all to work together. Since they have the financial capabilities, it’s only a matter of time.

One of the important things you’ll find in the press release is the following:

Quick AF Live View System
Both the α380 and α330 cameras offer Sony’s Quick Autofocus (AF) Live View technology, so you can frame photos on the camera’s LCD screen as well as in the optical viewfinder.  Through the use of a dedicated image sensor, Quick AF Live View maintains the rapid response of a DSLR, while avoiding the focus delay common to other live view systems.

This is a huge deal. Our current live view AF system is a piece of shit, quite frankly. Practically useless. And it looks like Sony is the first to offer a fast AF system in live view on a DSLR, just like we feared would happen. I knew it was coming, but the fact that it’s now here is still a bit shocking to us. What we really are afraid of is this technology being introduced in the coming refresh of their professional line of DSLR cameras. Imagine the next A900 being able to focus as fast in live view with the ability to focus where ever you want on the screen with pinpoint accuracy. God, we’re so fucked.

The truth is, we knew this was coming. From the moment Sony acquired Konica/Minolta, we knew shit was going to happen for us. The only thing that surprised me was that it took them a little longer than I expected to start merging their technology with the DSLR technology they got from Konica/Minolta. What we’re seeing right now is just a fraction of their full potential. People mostly seem to think Nikon is our big competitor, but Sony is our real problem right now.


In other news, I’ve made two small changes to the blog. I’ve updated the tagline above from “Canon Camera Guru – Ya better recognize!” to “I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you.” which I think fits better with my blog at the moment. As you may know, “I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you.” is actually a quote from an email I sent to some lunatics a while ago who were bugging me about the lack of aperture control on the 5D Mark II in video mode. Here’s the email just in case:

>>Advertising full control over depth of field…<<

Neither the 5D Mark II white paper or any other piece of Canon literature did that. To assert otherwise is misleading, in my opinion.

I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you.

Best Regards,

Chuck Westfall

You have to appreciate my ability to nag the guy while still appearing to be polite.

I’ve also added back the Canon stylized logo to the header image on my blog. I hope Doggy doesn’t bother me about it again.

Mmmm, coffee…