This is not usually me.

This is not usually me.

Hi, I’m not actually Chuck Westfall. As I’m sure you’ve gathered by now, I’m a Canon tech guru. I don’t know who you are, but in all likelyhood I know a crapload more about photography gear than you do. Especially if it’s made by Canon. So you might like to pay attention to what I’m saying if you know what’s good for you.

If you would like to contact me, please send an email to fcwestfall@gmail.com. My Canon corporate mail box is currently full and I can’t say at the moment when I’ll be checking it again. Too busy playing with my pre-production 1D X and 1D C, which are mindblowing. Nikon, Sony and RED are going to shit their pants.

Some of you have written to me asking to update my picture to a more recent one, but I kinda like this one. I look younger here with more hair on my head. It makes me feel younger too.

34 thoughts on “About


    Fake Chuck Westfall (FCW) is something Nikon’s marketing department came up with. They have paid witty copy writers to dampen the release of the new Canon 5D MKII.

    Which I don’t blame them. The first time Canon came out with the Canon 5D it took Nikon 3 years of “innovations” to finally catch up with Canon. Congratulations, it took them 3 years to make a 12MP full frame. Too bad, this year is all about the 20+ MP Full Frames from Canon and Sony, sometimes you just gotta think more then 2 steps ahead Nikon.

    My other theory is that FCW is a bitter Nikon fanatic who’s had to endure years of agony. Watching his fellow Nikonians switch to Canon for their better selection of lenses, cameras, and useable high ISO images. Actually its been hard for FCW since the early Nikon F4 days, but thats all over now because Nikon finally has 3 decent cameras. It only took 2 decades. Now he’s had some Nikon momentum and is finally getting to toot his horn a little.

    Oh well, I’m told that the D3 and D700 have 12 superior megapixels over the Sony and Canon’s 24 inferior megapixels.

  2. He got one thing right. I use to shit my pants every time I picked up my Nikon D200. But I love this camera, sure its no good for weddings or any other type of photography in general BUT its a great laxative and stool softener.

    I’m looking forward to more pants shitting in the following months with my D300, its an updated version of my current laxative.

  3. Nikon D200 User-

    Thanks for sharing your conspiracy theories. One remark, if I may, I think that it wouldn’t be very professional if you started shitting your pants during a paid shoot. Use the D200 and D300 if you want and keep laxating yourself, by all means, but your customers won’t be too happy when you get diarrhea everytime on the set.

  4. Yes that’s very true. I could have used your advice years ago.

    I’ve since lost my job as a wedding photographer. My clients told me it was the sh*t I was producing that they could not handle anymore. I told them I’d wear adult diapers but they said it wasn’t THAT problem. They said it was the sh*tty images I took with my Nikon. The lack of sharpness and the abundance of grain was well… “At the heart of the image” as the Nikon tagline states.

  5. *yawn* Constantly bashing Canon is a tough job. I don’t know where in the day you find the time. My one complaint is the reference to Karol Donk, I’m so tired of him. He claims to use both cameras unbiasedly but his actions and his review of canon cameras are as transparently biased as tracing paper. Well…I guess my other reason for not liking him is, even in writing he sounds like a total spaz-attack.

    I’m happy with my D700 but I think we have to keep things in perspective, Nikon spent a lot of time making horrible decisions and they were in the same shoes Canon is in right now…and for a long time. I’ll be interested to see what can be produced by this new 5D when my friend gets his hand on one.

    – Comber.

  6. Your fake Chuck site is one of the STUPIDEST things I’ve ever seen on the Internet. It is in incredibly poor taste to abuse this man’s good name (and his photo). For years now, Chuck has been very helpful to photographers. I love good satire, but this isn’t good satire. This is just ugly, tasteless garbage. Fake, you are truly an abusive screwed-up person!

    • This is not only a stupid blog, its embarrasing, sad, quite booring and…Fun…not! I knew Internet are filled with crap but after finding this amount of written garbage, I fear (honestly!) for man kind… I will use my right to never ever return to this insanely low mark of a blog… Bye bye, I will NOT regret or miss anything…haha

  7. Hi I’m Fake Toni Schneider!

    In my imagination, I’m CEO of Automattic, the company that runs the excellent WordPress.com service which powers the very words you are currently reading. I live in San Francisco with my wife and kids. I like technology startups, cars, and alternative energy. Once upon a time I grew up in Switzerland, then moved to California for college.

    I’m currently fakely involved with these fine companies:
    Automattic (CEO)
    True Ventures (Venture Partner)
    Bandcamp (board member)
    Vodpod (board member)
    GoodTree (advisor)
    Aurora Biofuels (angel investor)

    Please check out my new blog at http://faketonischneider.wordpress.com.

    I thought it was about time that I had my own blog on the Internet. I’m going to use this blog as a platform to let you all know what I’m up to, and what Automattic is up to, and to give you the inside scoop about my company. So stay tuned for some exciting posts about Automattic and the other fine companies that I’m not involved in.

    If I were the real Toni Schneider, I would blog at http://toni.org, but I’m Fake Toni Schneider so don’t go there.

    But do check out all of my passionate friend’s WordPress blogs here:


    I’m so inspired by https://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com and excited that WordPress is supporting fake blogs that abuse company employees’ real names and photos!

  8. Dear Mr. F. Westfall,
    The Federal Trade Commission is interested in companies that generally work the consumer over. Maybe even Canon would listen if enough people respond!
    Here’s a petition aimed at Canon 1d Mk III owners who have been worked. How about you and anyone else here who hasn’t signed it? why not jump on in … even though the site says the mailbox will be down, I’m gonna hold it open for another day just to see what you guys can come up with. Right now 88 units – total around $387K in sales. That’s not much to Canon & YOU Mr. F. Westfall … but a it’s a lot of cash and a whole lot more wasted energy, time and images to the grunts that have to work everyday getting the images out for the world to see!
    Ball’s in your court dude!

  9. I really like your blog, it made my dam day.

    You should ask for handouts via PayPal like Ken Rockwell, I wold give you a dollar. I understand sales at canon must be very bad.

    PS I have not and plan not to give Rockwell any money.

  10. At least the real me provides helpful pointers for everyone, not just crude insults and thoughtless polemics.

  11. Dear Mr. Westfall,

    I think you played with the preproduction 1D Mark IV model too much as it doesn’t work properly. I took mine to the greyhound track today and before I could shoot a race, the shutter jammed and it wouldn’t meter properly. It works now, so the problem is what they would describe as “intermittent.” Please fix your shit. (I’m not kidding by the way, my Mark IV is actually not working properly.) It started working again after I swapped lenses, but the lens I’d been using when it crapped out worked fine on my 7D. Please stop making shit 1 series cameras.

    • Thank you Baron, I’ll send over this feedback to Canon Inc. in Japan where I hope someone will actually read it.

  12. Pingback: Tech Tips and Emails « Fake Chuck Westfall

  13. Dear FCW,

    I am sitting here on my couch with my puppy dog (who was just diagnosed with congestive heart failure). He is a 7 year old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Rufus. I desperately want to take as many pictures of him as possible, while there is still time, unfortunately Canon has not released a 5D MKIII or 7D MK II. I need a high ISO great in order to use my F 4.0 lens for casual shots of him laying on the couch in a dimly lit living room. For some reason your company has not released anything yet.

    What is taking so long???

    Do all the idiots in Japan hate Dogs? Do they not understand the bond between a simple photog and his constant companion? I’m sure the are millions of men in the same predicament as I all across the world sitting and hoping for our bestest buddies to hold on. We need a realistically priced DSLR that has excellent high ISO operation combined with the focus/speed of the 7D.

    Please relate this story to the men in Japan to put a little fire under their arses!

    Chris and Rufus

    ps. Rufus really is in congestive heart failure, and my wife and I love him very much.

    • I’m very sorry to hear about Rufus, Chris. I assure you that I will do everything I can to make the morons in Japan deliver.

  14. FCW, my desire for Canon gear is only surpassed by my desire to meet you and learn from you. I will be your padawan if you will have me. I have already started dating asian girls and trashing DxO Mark every chance I get, but I know there is so much more you can teach me. If possible I would like to have an ancient greek style relationship with you,. I am much younger and more supple than you, and perhaps we could feed of each others energy. In a completely fraternal and unsexual way, mind you. LMK, k?

    • Dave, I really appreciate your interest in me and my knowledge. Or just me. Either way, I will be happy to teach you.

  15. When’s Canon responding to the Df with their DF-1? I’ve got my 1974 F-1 and lenses which I want to try on a digital camera without adapter.

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