Tech Tips, Twitter, and Stuff

Man what a weekend! Been having a lot of fun with the 1D Mark 4. Can’t stop playing with it. The new 35L is fantastic too. The rear element fell out when I tried to mount it on the 1D4 the first time though, but nothing a little superglue and a hammer couldn’t fix. Works great. I just thought I’d take some time for a quick update before I go play with my new toys again.

My June Tech Tips have been posted at the Digital Journalist. Check it out. And when you do, take note of how I answered the question about the crap 5D2 autofocus. Hell, let me just include it right here:

Chuck, thanks so much for your time and insight. I have a question about the 5D Mark II AF system. I love shooting with the camera in most situations, but have difficulty getting focused shots when shooting sports. In fact, the AF system seems inferior to the 40D I’ve used. If I’m reading correctly the 40/50D have high-precision cross-type AF points at all 9 AF points while the 5D Mark II has cross-type only at the 1 center point. If this is true I can’t understand why the 5D Mark II would have an inferior AF system to the lower end 40/50D cameras. Any insight?

All three of these models have 9 selectable AF points, but only the EOS 5D Mark II has an additional 6 Assist AF points surrounding the center focusing point. So, although it is true that the 8 outer points on the 40D and 50D are cross-type whereas the 8 outer points on the 5D Mark II are single-axis, it is also true that the center point on the 5D Mark II has extra capabilities for tracking moving subjects that the EOS 40D and 50D do not. And incidentally, the 8 outer points on the 40D and 50D are standard precision cross-type. Only the center point on those cameras is a high-precision type because of its longer baselength. For additional information on these cameras including a comparison of their AF systems, please check out Canon’s EOS 50D & 5D Mark II White Paper document on the Canon Digital Learning Center Web site.

See that? THAT’S why they made ME the technical spokesperson here at Canon USA. You have to appreciate my skill at answering the question without actually answering it at all. In the end, I actually sent the poor guy to read some white papers and compare AF systems, like that is going to help him to get focused shots with his 5D2 during sports. AHAHAHAHAHAHA… oh God…

Here’s a recent Twitter update by Zack Arias (regarding his 5D Mark II):

Effing Canon AF. Effing sucks. Ya hear Canon? You make great cameras but your AF sucks sucks sucks sucks. Zone focusing tonight.

We hear ya Zack. I just hope we’re listening too.

While on the topic of Tech Tips, I got a question via email which I’ll answer here before it starts piling up again.

Good day Fake Chuck,
Can I use a Nikon SB900 Speedlight with my Canon EOS 50D without losing any kind of function?
Warm regards,
kenn

How about losing all kinds of functions, Kenn? Do not even try that if you know what’s good for you. This is what happened the last time an engineer tried a Nikon flash on a Canon SLR in one of our labs in Japan:

Someone set us up the bomb.

You want none of that, Kenn, trust me. Just go out and buy one of our 580 EX II’s instead.

Matthew wrote in to point out that Lloyd Chambers is calling our 24mm f/1.4L II USM lens a “Spreading rash from unknown nasty (probable Lyme/tick).” It looks like Lloyd forgot how to use the Copy-Paste function properly on his Mac Pro. Here’s a screenshot just in case he updates the page:

24mm Rash? (Click for larger image)

Lloyd Chambers is the second photographer in a week now, after Joe Mc Nally, to have caught Lyme disease. Something might be up. If you’re a photographer, you should probably start making your time.

Meanwhile I’ve been Twittering away, as you all know from a previous post. I must admit I had high expectations when I started last week. I was hoping to come close to Nikon’s Ashton Kutcher with the amount of followers (he has 2,106,469 as of this writing), but now I’m thinking that’s a little too ambitious. So instead I’ve set a new target: John Harrington with 198 followers right now. With your help, I’m pretty sure I can reach 200 followers! So start following me, everyone!

Plus, I pimped my Twitter homepage too. Check it out. Here’s part of it below in case you can’t view it all (Buy a 23″ Cinema Display):

Recent conversation at Canon Inc. in Japan

The cast, in order of appearance: Masaya Maeda (Director and Chief Executive of Image Communication Products Operations) – yes, the guy who said the 5D2 body was too small to house a better AF system (Riiiight…), Haruo Murase (President of Canon Marketing Japan Inc.), Tsuneji Uchida (President of Canon Inc.).

Anyway that’s it for now. My 1D4 is feeling lonely.

EF 50mm f/1.2helL USM

The Canon EF 50mm f/1.2helL USM Lens

If you look at the image above and get a spontaneous erection, then trust me when I say that you are not alone.

*adjusts pants*

She’s a beauty isn’t she? Just holding this lens in your hands, you feel the weight, the build quality, the feeling you have comes pretty close to an orgasm. And the images you can capture using this lens are incredible. But looks can be deceiving. And in this case, it’s kinda like how it is with women. It’s like you meet this beautiful woman somewhere and you get all crazy about her and try hard to make her yours. And after a while you succeed, and you start ..err.. enjoying … her, but slowly but surely you start to notice that though everything looked great on the outside, the behaviour is not exactly what you were hoping for. This is when you get introduced to the term Total Cost of Ownership, or TCO in short. You start to see the cost (not just financially, but most certainly also financially) of “owning” such a woman. And then, as time goes by, you start to notice that you get less and less Return on your Investment, ROI in short, from your woman. For example, to get the same amount of sex you were having when you first met her, you have to do double and even tripple the amount of work now that you were doing back then, and this is assuming you’re still able to get sex from her at all at this point. Because the amount of work you’ll have to do will only increase until at some point you’re just not up to it anymore. And then you just stop having sex. At least at home.

*pauses and thinks while staring ahead at nothing*

Anyway… where was I? Oh yeah,

In the case of this lens, many rushed to buy this shiny and beautiful looking lens that promised great images when it was released at the end of 2006, only to find out later that they spent $1600 and were essentially fucked, because the lens had a backfocus issue which is related to the way it is designed. I’m not going to go into too much detail here, but I’ll just refer you to this website where there’s a nice compilation of information on the issue. Not only does the lens backfocus often, it also doesn’t focus consistently when using autofocus. You can focus on the exact same object a few times, without the camera and object moving, and you’ll get a different focusplane each time, especially noticeable at f/1.2.

Many people started complaining and emailing me about the issues they were having with this lens almost from the moment it became available, and I ofcourse started talking to Japan immediately about it, while telling everyone else that Canon would be releasing more information on the issues in the near future. Two of my emails can be found here:

“Technical discussions about the EF50mm f/1.2L USM are continuing to occur between Canon USA and Canon Inc.. The matter is not resolved yet, but it is most certainly not being ignored. Unfortunately, I can’t say much more about it until there is an official conclusion.”

“Canon Inc. is definitely aware of the claims concerning the AF accuracy of the EF50/1.2L USM. They’ve been investigating for the past couple of months, and I am told that there will be some kind of public announcement forthcoming in the near future. Stay tuned, and thanks for using Canon equipment!” – email from Chuck Westfall 5/24/2007

We had a conference call last week with Japan and in between all the asskissing and cocksucking we brought up this issue again, and the bastards are still not ready to give us the green light to send out the fuckup notices for this problem. Meanwhile I’m sitting here while people are constantly asking me when I’ll finally be able to tell them more, and the only thing I’m able to tell them is to stay tuned and thank them for using Canon equipment.

It’s been over two goddamn years now.

But despite the issues, I like using this lens when I’m taking pictures of my daughter because of the results I know I can get, but sadly only if I am lucky and the lens actually happened to focus where I wanted. I had to force myself to try and live with the issues. It’s like Chris Rock said:

“When you love somebody, you got to love everything about them. You got to love the crust of a motherfucker.

You can’t just love the white part of the bread.

You gotta love the crust, the crumbs, the tiny crumbs at the bottom of the toaster.

That’s what the real motherfucker is.”

Yeah, that’s what the real motherfucker is, a back/inconsistent focusing 50mm lens that is capable of producing great images when it works.

Fortunately I also have my 85mm f/1.2L which is outstanding, and when I’m shooting my mother in law (with a camera, sadly), I only use the 135mm f/2L, which is razor-sharp even at f2 and captures even the tiniest of all the wrinkles on her face just to show her how fucked up she really looks. I swear to God, sometimes it’s almost like the lens ads wrinkles to her face on the fly while making existing ones look like small Grand Canyons. When she really pisses me off, I stop down to f11 for even greater effect and apply the unsharp mask filter in Photoshop several times as well. It’s all automated in my Mother in Law action set.

Ok enough of that.

It looks like Galbraith received another paycheck from Nikon because he has updated his article about the poor 1D Mark III AF performance with his findings based on the latest fixes issued by Canon Inc. The outcome was predictable. But here’s the thing, notice how Galbraith is decorating his whole article about the bad AF performance of the 1D Mark III with beautiful pictures that ARE in focus AND taken with… wait for it… a 1D Mark III.

There’s a strange concept you don’t see everyday: Tell people a camera can’t focus well by putting pictures in the article that are actually in focus and taken by the same camera.

Fucken A.

I think Nikon might have to reconsider their relationship with Galbraith after reading this.

Here’s the thing, Rob, I know you like the image quality the 1D Mark III gives you, so stop complaining, for fuck’s sake, and live with the AF shortcomings for now. Ya gotta love the crust of the motherfucker dude. Ya can’t just love the white part of the bread. Learn to live with it. And besides, at this point I think we both know there’s nothing Canon Inc. can possibly do anymore to fix it. We’ll just have to wait for the 1D Mark IV and hope AF performance will be much better.

And I say we have to HOPE the 1D Mark IV will be better, because the way employees are being treated right now at Canon in Japan is quite terrible. Read this article and see for yourself, here’s a quote:

Can you imagine working in a place where the boss got rid of all the chairs and put in alarms which go off when you don’t walk fast enough?
Well some of the folks who work at Canon don’t need to imagine – its a reality for them.

 No wonder most of our products released in the last 3 years suck so much.

Employees at Canon Electronics

 That shit is just fucked up. And what’s with the striped shirts? They almost look like prisoners. Working in such an environment, you can begin to understand why these people produce a 50mm f/1.2 lens that can’t focus well, a 1D Mark III that has focus issues, a 5D where the mirror falls off, a 5D Mark II with an old AF system that rarely works and with a sensor that has various issues too, a 50D with noise and banding etc. Now I also understand why Kyokoshiro isn’t hooking up all dos vires on de assembly line.

Fortunately things are a lot better here at Canon USA.

Anyway, I’m gonna go make me a nice cup of coffee now and relax for a bit.

Follow me on Twitter!

I’m getting a little tired of people constantly saying that we don’t understand social media here at Canon. The latest is this article on 1001 noisy cameras. I have to admit that they’re right, and that’s why I went ahead today and registered my own Twitter account. So you can all follow my updates there, which will be a lot more frequent than my blog posts.

Canon Inc. is not going to like this I think, but screw them. I am tired of waiting for them to change corporate policy. You all know how ‘happy’ they were with my blog. At least they did make some funds available to promote my blog after I had already spent countless hours setting it up myself in my free time and not getting paid for it either.

It’s the 21st century, you Japanese bastards, wake the hell up! Get in line with the program, for Christ’s sake.

EOS 5D Mark II Manual Exposure Control in Video, and Stuff

Today was one of the happiest days I’ve had in the last 3 years of working at Canon USA. For the first time in almost 3 years, I was able to answer the phone and check my email and hear only praise and compliments from happy and excited customers. At the end of the day I sat behind my desk, my eyes filled with tears, and I actually felt that all the hard work we’ve all been doing here is starting to pay off. Those crazy bastards in Japan are finally starting to listen to us! I’m writing this with tears rolling down my cheeks. I’m sorry to get all emotional here on my blog, but most of you know what I’ve been through for the last couple of months, how depressed I’ve been, and now I’m finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel. And the reason?

Now, if only they could also release an autofocus system worthy of the 21st century for the 5D Mark II, by popular demand, then we'd be all set.

It started with all those fuckup notices being released by Canon all of a sudden, even for the 3 year old and obsolete EOS 5D. It looked like they realized in Japan that they had a lot to make up to all of us. And now, they’ve actually listened and are going to release a new firmware update for the 5D Mark II which will enable manual exposure control in video mode – a feature that many of our customers have been asking for ever since the release of the camera last year. This move surprised everyone and has gotten everyone very excited. Not only because of the actual feature that’s going to be released in the new firmware, but also because of the goodwill that Canon is displaying by doing this. This is the Canon I have always known, the Canon I joined and have worked for for all those years.

We’ve managed to piss so many people off in the last few years, it’s just unbelievable. That’s why we have people like my pal Thomas Hawk walking around with their Canon gear with all the Canon logos covered with black tape. Like he explains on his website, he got so pissed at us recently over the 5D Mark II that he decided he’s not going to walk around advertising our products anymore. And who can blame the guy? It’s still difficult to get a 5D Mark II today! Even the goddamn battery for it is not available anywhere. We’ve recently launched two new tilt-shift lenses as well, but guess what? You can’t actually find one anywhere.

So there is still a lot to be done, still a huge mess to clean up, and a lot to fix, believe me. And even though I’m more hopeful now than I’ve been for a long time, we’re in a time right now when the competition is becoming more and more frightening to us. And I think that this is one of the reasons why the old farts at Canon Inc. are starting to do something about all the issues we’ve been having.

They’ve still not managed to stabilize the situation at Canon Inc. in Japan, which I reported about earlier. After my update, Pentax announced the K7 camera, sending Maeda into intensive care, and we learned that Sony is now in the final stages of preparations for the launch of an A500 and/or A550 camera. And so is Nikon for their D400, which according to the information I have, is going to cast a very big and dark shadow over our release of the 60D later this year. But until that happens, I’m going to enjoy these precious moments we’re having right now.

Finally I want to take this opportunity to congratulate Bryan Carnathan of the-Digital-Picture.com with his daughter getting published on the cover at the age of… 10. She was using a Canon Powershot S400. And that’s a pretty good picture too. Now, when you see this, you undoubtedly start to think. We had a discussion in the comments of the previous post about soccer moms now being able to take better pictures at an event with cheaper gear compared to pros with heavy and expensive gear, and I think the fact that today a kid at the age of 10 can take a picture using a relatively cheap point and shoot camera, that is worthy of a front cover, is something to start worrying about if you’re a pro photographer. Yeah, you’re probably laughing right now, but you won’t be laughing when you start to hear about Jeff Ascough losing a wedding to a 12 year old. And that will be roughly at the same time when John Harrington will publish an article on his blog, specifically targeting those kids, explaining to them the concept of “bad karma” and how it relates to photography. Meanwhile Ken Rockwell will update his website telling them why they should be shooting film instead. And when Dan Heller, shortly after that, publishes a 50 page essay on the subject on his blog, is when you’ll know it’s time to start applying for that job at Mc Donalds.

The Sony Problem

Well, there goes my weekend. I was heading home from work a while ago, expecting to be able to take some rest this weekend and spend time with my family, when all of a sudden three black SUVs appear out of nowhere at high speed and stop right in front of me. Doors fly open and a couple of guys in black suits with red ties and dark sunglasses jump out and run towards me while yelling “WESTFALL?! CHUCK WESTFALL?!” A black helicopter with a red stripe on the sides flew by over us at very low altitude making an incredible noise. I had to cover my eyes with my hands because of all the sand and dust in the air. And I’m thinking oh shit, did we deliver a batch of backfocusing lenses to the government again?  Did the mirror fall out of a 5D again during an important mission in Iran? Perhaps Obama got really pissed this time when Pete Souza showed him the latest out of focus pictures taken with his 5D Mark II? Before I had a chance to say anything I got pushed into one of the SUVs and was told to keep quiet and that everything would get explained shortly.

Turns out we were heading back to my office at Canon USA where there seemed to be some kind of panic situation. I got pushed into a room with other executives where we were told that there would be a direct uplink established with Canon Inc. in Japan shortly for an emergency briefing. While waiting we learned that Maeda got hospitalized some time earlier because of spontaneously developing a serious case of diarrhea in a very short amount of time, and that it was also spreading fast to other executives. What’s more, the toilets at Canon HQ were not designed to be able to handle the incredible load that was developing and arrays of mobile toilets had to be brought in to deal with the capacity problem.

Mobile Toilets standing outside at Canon HQ

They’re still struggling to maintain enough capacity as I type this.

The cause of all this became clear during the briefing. It appears Sony has issued a press release announcing three new DSLR cameras. This might sound like a normal thing, but there’s a lot more to it. You may recall that I wrote about Sony a while ago where I mentioned the following:

We’re not very concerned about Olympus here at Canon, but Sony has been scaring the hell out of us for a while now, to be honest. More so than Nikon, and for a lot of reasons. They’ve got their hands on a lot of good technology now, and we’re very concerned about their next wave of DSLRs. If you can recall their DSC-R1 camera from a few years ago, it had a CMOS sensor and really great and reasonably fast contrast-detect autofocus functionality. You could even use the small joystick to move the focus point *anywhere* on the screen and focus *exactly* where you wanted to, even the edges. This was a few years ago. If this makes its way into their DSLRs, with today’s faster processing technology, we’re going to be fucked. We know they have the sensor technology (D3x) with IS, they have the lenses, it’s just a matter of the right software, the pro features and tuning it all to work together. Since they have the financial capabilities, it’s only a matter of time.

One of the important things you’ll find in the press release is the following:

Quick AF Live View System
Both the α380 and α330 cameras offer Sony’s Quick Autofocus (AF) Live View technology, so you can frame photos on the camera’s LCD screen as well as in the optical viewfinder.  Through the use of a dedicated image sensor, Quick AF Live View maintains the rapid response of a DSLR, while avoiding the focus delay common to other live view systems.

This is a huge deal. Our current live view AF system is a piece of shit, quite frankly. Practically useless. And it looks like Sony is the first to offer a fast AF system in live view on a DSLR, just like we feared would happen. I knew it was coming, but the fact that it’s now here is still a bit shocking to us. What we really are afraid of is this technology being introduced in the coming refresh of their professional line of DSLR cameras. Imagine the next A900 being able to focus as fast in live view with the ability to focus where ever you want on the screen with pinpoint accuracy. God, we’re so fucked.

The truth is, we knew this was coming. From the moment Sony acquired Konica/Minolta, we knew shit was going to happen for us. The only thing that surprised me was that it took them a little longer than I expected to start merging their technology with the DSLR technology they got from Konica/Minolta. What we’re seeing right now is just a fraction of their full potential. People mostly seem to think Nikon is our big competitor, but Sony is our real problem right now.

*sigh*

In other news, I’ve made two small changes to the blog. I’ve updated the tagline above from “Canon Camera Guru – Ya better recognize!” to “I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you.” which I think fits better with my blog at the moment. As you may know, “I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you.” is actually a quote from an email I sent to some lunatics a while ago who were bugging me about the lack of aperture control on the 5D Mark II in video mode. Here’s the email just in case:

>>Advertising full control over depth of field…<<

Neither the 5D Mark II white paper or any other piece of Canon literature did that. To assert otherwise is misleading, in my opinion.

I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you.

Best Regards,

Chuck Westfall

You have to appreciate my ability to nag the guy while still appearing to be polite.

I’ve also added back the Canon stylized logo to the header image on my blog. I hope Doggy doesn’t bother me about it again.

Mmmm, coffee…

Canon USA Fuckup Notices

Looks like I’m getting drunk again tonight. We’ve just released another service notice fuckup notice for the EOS 1D/1Ds Mark III cameras, this time concerning oil spots on the camera sensor. To view the full notice, click here (Canon USA version) or here (Canon Europe version).

I’m telling you, the Lord knows no mercy when Canon is concerned these days. If you own a 1D and or 1Ds Mark III, let me, again, apologize on behalf of Canon USA and Canon Inc. for the trouble you’re going through with these cameras. At least be happy about the fact that we are finally acknowledging the problem and are offering to fix it for you, and this, ofcourse, after waiting for two years now while many users have been complaining about this on forums everywhere. At least two years is a lot faster than waiting 3 years to release a service notice for the 5D mirror falling off, right? That fucking camera was obsolete by the time we admitted the problem and actually offered to fix it. Anyway, please keep wasting your time by sending in your affected equipment to us constantly, having to rent replacements for that important assignment that is coming up, and keep spending cash on shipping and insurance too, but feel comforted by the fact that we are doing these repairs for you free of charge. Yep, absolutely free! Isn’t that so kind of us to do that?

I wonder how long we’ll have to keep thanking users for “their patronage and support of Canon products” here at Canon USA while Canon Inc. keeps screwing up theoretically good products. I mean, seriously, look at the following picture:

Oil?

How, exactly, does that pass quality control inspection? If you ask me, it almost looks like Kyokoshiro on the assembly line shot his load into the mirror box and failed to clean it properly. They had better start doing something about the sexless society in Japan because obviously it is having really bad consequences for everyone (read here and here for background, quite interesting). How can anyone function in such a society? No wonder Kyokoshiro can’t seem to do a good job on the assembly line anymore. You try working almost all day long, not actually seeing your wife much at home, and not being able to have sex for months. Then you see a 1D Mark III body moving towards you on the assembly line with an open lens mount, and strange things start to happen.

Canon Inc. already started sending workers home early recently in order to fix this problem. Let us all pray that this will have a positive influence on the 1D Mark IV.

A while ago a fuckup notice was also released for the G10 relating to lines appearing on images. The G10 already got trashed on DPReview for poor image quality (lots of noise), and fuckups like these are really not going to help us to sell it. I’ve got quite some emails about G10’s just dying on users too. Back in november 2008, Daniel left the following comment here on my blog:

I’m convinced Canon doesn’t do any QC anymore.

Had to return my first G10 as it has a damaged CCD which shows up as a line in every frame. I’m not kidding. I have the CR2 files to prove it!

My 2nd G10 has a distorted peephole, I mean the viewfinder. But I’m just too tired. Decided I’ll live with this one and maybe fix it near end of warranty.

At least Daniel now knows he wasn’t crazy when he saw the line appearing in his images. Quality control is a serious problem right now at Canon Inc. I’m almost 100% sure this is because of all those sexually frustrated workers. No wonder I walked in on Maeda a while ago while he was busy tenderizing his meat.

Check this comment from Barnett for another real-world example of what we’re causing our users here at Canon:

Chuck, I am really, really sorry about my comments making you lose 3 days. But you have to understand that we photographers too are very frustrated. Right now there is not a single Canon camera I can buy that does not have focus issues – never mind the 5DMkII that you deliberately crippled.

Just to give you an example. Last week I did some photographs for a large car rental company. I used my 5D and 85mm f/1.2L. After the shoot the customer chose the photo they want. And you guessed it, when I opened it on my PC, it was out of focus. I emailed the client, showing them another photo, and asking if they did not rather want that one, because it is err… so much nicer. They were not falling for that, so I had to admit that the picture they chose was also a bit, err… motion blurred. Well, they were not impressed, just told me that there is no time to re-shoot and they have to have that one and they are printing it 3m wide and putting it up in their new conference room where people will walk right up to it and look at it closely.

So you see Chuck, I am losing customers just as fast as you are. And this week my worst nightmare came true – I found out that my direct competitor just bought a Nikon D700. Do you have any idea how fucked I am now? Sorry, I have to go, I am suddenly not feeling very well…

Really, this stuff is just very bad.

No wonder that Danish hotshot photographer had the following to say about Canon:

As I mentioned earlier, because the margins are small between the top end Canons and top end Nikons, usability is the real tie-breaker. Nikon has a far better reputation for listening to their photographers than Canon, and this is plainly illustrated by the features available in the new Nikon D3X. (In fact, Nikon listens so much, that I am expecting a phone call from them to talk about their new camera next week.)

The Canon Mark II, 16mp, was a nightmare in terms of usability. To change basic settings you had to free both hands and press three buttons at once. To review an image, press two. This camera was a joke and any photographer shooting with it for five minutes prior to release would have told them so. Even Canon’s basic point and shoot cameras launched at the same time had better usability options at that point. The Canon 1Ds Mark III was greatly improved in terms of usability but it now risks being compared to the new Nikon D3X and frankly, it looks like a joke again.

…

The Canon has lower noise levels and the lenses perform generally better, but what does this matter if your images are more out of focus, if the camera is much harder to work with on a daily basis and if you can get the same results form a Nikon by just choosing the right lenses and get another 3 mega pixel on top?

Well, Mr. Arcurs, you have to understand that for Canon engineers in Tokyo, these days nothing at all is in focus.  Petting the one eyed snake everyday, often multiple times, isn’t very easy on the eyes. Or so I’ve heard… *cough*.. you know..err… not that I would know… or that I have any experience with it myself… err.. whatsoever. Ahem.

The good news is that at least Canon Inc. seems to have decided to step up and fix their mess. Hopefully this will continue in the future and response times will be significantly shorter. The best thing ofcourse is to not fuck up in the first place. I can’t tell you guys how stressful my job is these days because of all these issues.

And it seems at Nikon things aren’t going very well either. A 62.8% dive in profits, whoa. I guess Ken Rockwell’s D3x boycott is really doing stuff to the poor folks at Nikon. You may recall that Hitler wasn’t very amused either. Looks like nobody is buying the $8000 D3x. What can I say, other than: told ya so.

The world is your studio, and the street your home after you go broke getting one of these!

Anyway, I’m off to get seriously drunk now.

Tech Tips and Stuff

Man I feel exhausted. I just finished the Tech Tips for May which are now posted at The Digital Journalist. That’s a very long list of questions and answers, and this is ofcourse the result of skipping a month. But things are getting a little hectic around here with the upcoming field tests and introduction of the 1D Mark 4.

As you can no doubt imagine, my D3 and D3x are now collecting dust in my office, and I’m playing with a sample 1D4 almost all day. This camera frickin’ rocks. We’re going to be back in the game by the end of this year from what I see. But like I said before, it’s only going to happen if Japan doesn’t screw up again. Quality control is very important, apparently, and it’s something that they seem to hate at Canon Inc. In fact, a colleague of mine was telling me the other day how he mentioned “quality control” during a meeting with Japanese executives in Japan recently, and they all jumped up, kicked the table to the side and went into Karate ready stance while yelling and screaming and threatening to attack. He’s lucky to be alive.

But that’s the reason why I’ve got wise guys emailing me and telling me they heard that the 1D4 will be ready this year, but that the AF system won’t be finished until the second half of 2010, and asking if this is true. I forwarded the question to Maeda and have yet to receive a response. It’s been 3 weeks so far.

I came across an interesting noise test on Flickr comparing images from the 5D Mark II. Basically confirms what we already know. It seems Japan is still in denial on this issue. And speaking of the 5D Mark II, I am also getting a lot of emails asking why there’s still a huge shortage of LP-E6 batteries. I’m not exactly sure, but I’ve heard something about the battery for the 5D Mark II being a last minute design change. Engineers at Canon Inc. were actually finished with the 5D Mark II design, when someone sitting way in the back asked with a soft voice if it was supposed to actually turn on and what would power it. A bigger AF system got swapped with a much smaller/older one to make room for a battery compartment. Production on batteries started very late as a result, hence the shortage. But things should get normal soon. We’ll need plenty of them when the 60D gets released.

Some hotshot Danish stock photographer, Yuri Arcurs, posted his comparison of the D3x and 1Ds3, and perhaps you might find it an interesting read. I know I did.

Aaaand it’s back to work for me.

5D Mark II Cold Weather Tests

Okay now for something a little different. I received the information below from Sven Jonson, one of our reasearch engineers in Minnesota. I had never heard of Mr. Jonson before, so I decided to do some research internally to find out who he is, and it turns out Mr. Jonson was actually laid off a while ago, but due to some glitches, was never notified of this and is still being sent equipment for testing purposes. Apparently it’s the same kind of situation that one guy from the movie “Office Space” was in. And judging by the end of his report, it seems at least the payroll department fixed the problem on our end.

Anyway, I thought you might like his report below, and thanks to Randy Ruttger for sending it in:

____________

Good Morning to you, Fake Chuck,
 
I am Sven Jonson at Cold Weather Testin Facility in Minnesota.
 
Let me tell ya, It is a little nippy here in de hinterland today, de thermometer is stuck at -38 degrees, an de pipes they are frozen.  Lena says hi too. She vas yust putin de vood in de stove an maken de coffee.
 
I have been reading all da tings ya been saying about de Canon company and I have to say I agree mit ya von hunred percent!
Lena and I have been testing and using dose Canon Camera from Japan for long time. We too tink Company going to hell in handbag. Must be bad tings going on dare.
 
I taught ya vood like ta see my latest report dat i send to boss man in Japan. (see it below, it is copy for you read right below dis)

____________

Hello nice Canon people in Japan,
 
Today ve got your box from da UPS man mit de fancy new 5D Mark 2 camera. 
 
Ve ran de tests you ask for us to run in de cold. Very cold here.
 
De first test vas to try out de new Auto Lighting Optimizer system. Like D-Lighting on our competitors cameras.
 
De first photo shows de snowy scene yust outside de facility here in hinterland of nortern Minnesota.
It so cold my tung stuck to camera ven I clean off de screen on de back.
 
Test # 1
In dis shot, de new Auto Lighting Optimizer system is turned in de off position and disabled. 
You can clearly see how de snow is bright white and de trees are dark green.

In de next shot de Auto Lighting Optimizer system is turned into de Low position. De snow is bright white and de trees are dark green.

In de number tre shot ve turned de Auto Lighting Optimizer system to de mid position, Standard. You can clearly see dat de snow is bright white and de trees are dark green.
Yes I know vat you tink, but dis IS a differnt photo. And ve did turn de switch to de new setting!

In de final test shot of de Auto Lighting Optimizer system ve cranked de system all de vay up to strong. Blow my socks off. As you can clearly see, de snow is now bright white and de trees are dark green.

Ve concluded dat de test vas great success. Our competitors vill be so happy mit us. It proves to de vorld dat de engeeneers at Canon really know dare stuff. Dat last shot is fantastical how she brings out de details in de dark green trees. I bet dos Nikon bastards are shivering in deir boots ven day see how schmart our engeneers at Canon factory are.

Maybe you should check see if maybe Kyokoshiro on de assembly line forgot to hook up de vire to Auto Lighting Optimizer system switch. But de system sure works A.OK. as far as ve can see. You people must be very schmart!

(Fake Chuck: I suspect Kyokoshiro probably also isn’t hooking up the AF system properly)
 
Test # 2
For de next test ve tried out de Highlight Tone Priority System. Dis system is so tricky even de guys at Nikon don’t have it yet on de new cameras day have made.
In de first test photo ve have de Highlight Tone Priority System turned in de off position, disabled, off. Now see how pretty and white de snow looks. Don’t you vant to yust yump into it?

In de second shot ve turned on venerable, top secret Highlight Tone Priority System dat even schmart guys at Nikon have not discovered yet. Any fool can see how much more better de snow looks. Now you really vant to take your cloths off an yump into it, right?

Ve concluded dat dis test vas roaring success too. Maybe schmart Canon engeeneers should get pay raise.
 
You should check see if Kyokoshiro has gotten into emergency sake ration on assembly line again. Are you sure he is hooking up all dos vires on de circuit board?
 
Dis concludes our cold weather test of de new Canon D5 mark 2 Camera.
She is vone swell machine. Yust let us know if you need for us to do more tests in de cold.
 
Sincerely
Sven,
Arctic Testin Faciliy
Rural Route 2
Nortern Minnesota, USA

P.S. ve have still not got de last check from you guys. De man from de power company says he vill turn de lights in faciliy off if ve can not pay bill ve owe him. Lena, she is cutting vood to keep hot de stove so pipes do not freeze. De man from de gas company froze to death in snow behind facility and dey turned gas off two months ago. I know sales are down because of bad economy, but please send check soon. Does Nikon have different economy? I hear dey selling cameras faster dan dey can make dem.

Banding and Pattern Noise – EOS 5D Mark II and EOS 50D

You know, I don’t know what’s going on with us recently. Not only do our latest products have some rather serious issues, but competitors like Nikon are kicking our asses with their latest products. That new Nikon D5000 is going to make short work of our 1000D and even the 500D/Rebel T1i/Kiss X3 (AKA the EOS Whatever). And if my sources are correct, the Nikon D400 is going to really give us problems. I don’t even want to think about the D800.

You’ll note that I’m late with this month’s Tech Tips at the Digital Journalist, and the reason for that is just that I am not very motivated these days when I look at our current state here at Canon. I sat down last week to think about why this is happening to us. We used to kick so much ass just 2 years ago. And I’ve speculated in the past that perhaps karma was catching up with us now. This is what I said back then:

Later tonight when I head for home, I’m going to stop by the local church first and take a little time for myself, maybe pray for guidance and help in these tough times. It just seems like there’s some kind of curse on Canon right now. I have no other explanation for it. How else can you explain all of these events happening so close to eachother? It’s just not natural. And now, we can’t even seem to be able to do the very thing everyone has come to expect from us: Deliver great image quality. The 50D failed, the G10 failed, and now, our flagship body for image quality is failing. Maybe it’s just Karma. Maybe we’re getting paid for delivering all those backfocusing lenses to people, or the bodies (even the overpriced 1Ds) and L lenses that won’t work out of the box, or for screwing people out of their warranty, or for letting them send in their equipment to service centers countless times without fixing anything and wasting their time. Sigh… I don’t know.

Image from http://weekendshoot.blogspot.com

And more and more I’m getting convinced that this is what’s happening to us now. Karma is catching up with us. And the thing is, we’re still going on with misleading people. The latest example is the video feature on the 5D Mark II which I briefly discussed in the previous post. I mentioned a discussion thread there, and really, if you read that whole thread it becomes so obvious how we’ve set ourselves up with all this bad karma as a company over the years, and are now continuing to do so. Have we learned nothing? Are we that blind as a company? Even I get dragged into the whole mess and see myself lying about things trying to bend reality to our advantage. I gotta admit this, because frankly it doesn’t make me sleep at night. Many of our users and customers, fellow photographers, are out there who admire me for all I’ve done for them in the past, and I feel like I am letting them down now. Just look at the following comment:

Chuck, your explanation about the lack of aperture control on the 5D Mk II is total BS and you know it. You might fool a few amateurs with this explanation but everyone else is starting to lose all respect for you. I can understand that in your official capacity you have to make use of lies and deception to avoid a class action lawsuit, but I don’t expect to see it on this blog.

So please just tell us, how did this fuckup happen? Was aperture control originally included? Was it a last minute decision to remove it and you then forgot to update the white paper? Who’s idea was it to cripple the camera even more (beyond what you already did with the outdated AF system)? Please don’t tell me it was Maeda again…

Oh, and your apology for being insulting, is insulting.

Barnett

This comment alone caused me to isolate myself in my office for 3 days last week so I could think things over. I don’t think I ate much during those days either. But after those 3 days, I knew I had to change the way I handle these problems. The way I’ve been doing it is just making matters worse and setting Canon and even myself up for a lot of bad karma. And the consequences are going to be a lot worse in the future if we don’t do something about it.

So yes, we’ve been putting out a lot of bullshit regarding the lack of aperture control on the 5D Mark II in video mode. I know the white papers also make you reasonably believe this control is there on the camera. We’ve been hyping up the video feature so much it just went out of control. Badly out of control. We should have waited with introducing video and have spent more time improving the sensor in the 5D2 and the AF system. I believe that would have given us a better return on investment, not just financially, but also in terms of customer satisfaction and related areas.

Emails keep pouring in about the pattern noise and banding issues on the 5D Mark II and even the 50D. We’ve just released a new firmware update for the 50D that’s supposed to fix the banding problem there, and are still looking into the problem on the 5D Mark II. This is another area where we’ve failed to deliver. The sensor in the 5D Mark II was supposed to be even better than the one in the 1Ds Mark III according to our marketing, but instead it is failing to deliver with some serious noise even at ISO 50 and ISO 100. Just look at what Lloyd Chambers is saying here:

These examples are from ISO 50, but results are similar at ISO 100/200/400 and beyond. Crops are shown downsampled to Nikon D3 (not D3x) resolution, actual pixels results are even more obvious, but harder to compare directly.

A striking difference in noise is evident in the very dark areas: the 5D Mark II is noisy even at ISO 50. Wedding photographers take note: noise is not an issue in a bride’s white gown, but a groom’s black tuxedo will be much easier to manage with the D3x.

And you just have to see the difference in image quality with the D3x:

5D Mark II Pattern Noise and Banding

Details and more images can be seen on Lloyd Chamber’s site. To be honest, that’s just very bad. I would expect to see this starting at ISO 400 maybe, but ISO 100 should essentially be as clean as on the D3x, as you would reasonably expect. There’s also a thread on DPReview discussing this problem right now.

In addition, it appears the black dot problem on the 5D Mark II isn’t really fixed. I’ve gotten some emails from people claiming that the black dots reappear in the images taken with the 5D Mark II when making HDR images and when stacking images.

I don’t know what they’re doing in Japan, but things have really gotten bad for us when it comes to sensor design. We used to be lightyears ahead of the competition. Now Nikon is beating us where we were the unbeatable champions. I can only explain this as one of the consequences of bad karma which we have accumulated over the years. I know I’m beginning to sound like John Harrington, but I can’t help it. Soon I might even start writing about Getty on this blog.

The thing is, those arrogant fucks in Japan really don’t like to listen. When I give them good feedback to consider and other advice, they end up doing what they want anyway. I told them recently to just put the 1D3 AF system in the 60D, and instead they’re developing a new 11 point AF system. I can’t stand their mentality of holding back features like this. This is one of the reasons why Nikon bodies are so much more advanced compared to ours right now. Nikon put their pro level AF system in lower camera models, so why can’t we do that? Had we put the 1Ds Mark III AF system in the 5D Mark II, instead of lying about why we didn’t, we wouldn’t be having all the shitfuckery with AF issues and soft images on the 5D Mark II right now! Now people are getting 21 megapixels of blur, in addition to the pattern noise. Fucken A.

When I look at the specs of the next 1D camera that we’re going to launch in a few months, I have every reason to be excited. Internally we’re calling this camera “The Terminator.” Those of you who have recently signed our NDA’s know what I’m talking about. But when I look at all the issues we’ve been having, I just can’t be very optimistic. Many of you who have been reading my blog since the beginning know how excited I was when the 5D Mark II was launched. Then the issues started and I got disappointed badly. So now I’m just going have a different approach to things and try to be more realistic.

Anyway, I’m off to work on my tech tips for April.

I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you

Whatever

Aaaaaand I’m back. Thanks to everyone who wrote in asking where I was. I appreciate it a lot. I was just so busy with stuff here at the office. As you know, we’ve recently launched the EOS 500D or EOS Rebel T1i or Kiss X3 Digital or whatever the hell you want to call it. I don’t know what marketing is doing in Tokyo, but this is kindof crazy if you ask me. As if we don’t have enough issues with our products, we insist on launching a product with some kind of identity crisis right from the start. Not to mention the confusion it causes for everyone. Can you imagine the following conference call:

Me: Okay is everyone in the call? As you know we’re launching the EOS 500D today and…

Random Coworker 1: uh.. excuse me Chuck, but aren’t we supposed to launch the EOS T1i today?

Me: Yeah that’s what I’m saying…

Random Coworker 1: No you said EOS 500D. So we’re launching 2 camera’s?

Me: No they’re the same product and…

Random Coworker 2: Hold on for a sec… guys, I was just told we’re actually launching the EOS Kiss X3 today.

Random Coworker 1: The what? But I only prepared for the EOS T1i, howcome nobody briefed me on the other 2 camera’s?

Me: They’re all the same for God’s sake!

Random Coworker 1: Like.. the same specs? Or what?

Random Coworker 2: That doesn’t make much sense, Chuck, are you sure this is correct? Why would we launch 3 cameras with exactly the same specs?

Me: I just said they’re all the same camera, aren’t you listening?

Random Coworker 1: Chuck, I have a sample sitting on my desk right here, and I’m pretty sure it says T1i on the label, not 500D. I think you’re talking about something else.

Random Coworker 2: Yeah mine says Kiss X3 in front. So we’re launching 3 cameras then, Chuck? Can you confirm this?

Random Coworker 1:  Yeah, Chuck, can ya?

Random Coworker 2:  Chuck?

Random Coworker 1: I think we lost him.

You’re damn right you lost me. I’d rather punch myself in the face repeatedly than continue this conversation.

As if this is not enough, you have that guy from Digital Camera Resource writing in to complain about the fact that we did not share any information with him in advance, causing him lose traffic to other sites. Well, Jeff, now you know why. Many people here at Canon USA simply didn’t have a clue about what the hell we were about to launch.

And since I’m on the topic, look, I have some influence on the specs of the camera during the design process, but please understand, I’m not the one who came up with the 1080p video mode in 20fps. Really, and stop emailing me about it please, I know it’s stupid, and yes I told the morons in Japan it wasn’t of much use, but I think you know by now those arrogant bastards don’t always listen. At Canon Inc. in Japan  they seem to like HD quality jerky video where everyone moves like they’re some kind of early Cyborg prototype. You could probably slap any electronic rock song from the 80s on those video files and it would look great. Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto! Thank you very much for this wonderful feature.

I also got interviewed by that Shankland guy from CNET. Kept bugging me so I decided to do it just to get him to stop asking me about it. Had to be careful about answering some questions though, especially the ones about the video feature on the 5D Mark II. People still seem to be pissed about the lack of control and functionality in video mode on that camera. It can get pretty serious at times.

For example, some guy named Lee Wilson kept harassing us at Canon USA for weeks about the lack of aperture control in video mode on the 5D Mark II while posting about it on this forum at the same time. You just have to read the whole thread to be able to comprehend how seriously fucked up it got. If you ever needed an example of cyber terrorism, this is it. I mean, look, I love to listen to customer feedback and even to honest complaints, but if you’re going to go all Bin Laden on me and start pissing me off, then I’m going to treat you differently too. And that goes for all of the people in that thread who emailed me. It’s difficult enough for me to maneuver myself through the mess Japan created for us, and not give people reasons to start a class action lawsuit against us, and so if you continue to push me into a corner, then yeah, I’m going to say stuff like “I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you” while I remain in denial. So what if the white papers lead you to believe or expect something? It sure as fuck is not on the camera, so quit whining!

I swear to God, some people just have way too much time on their hands.

I also mention Nikon and Sony in the CNET interview. I sound pretty confident there, but trust me, we’re very afraid. If the next 1D and 60D don’t deliver, we’re going to be fucked. But let me also say that if everything goes as planned for the next 1D, and we don’t screw up, we’re going to have an amazing product on our hands. You think we have autofocus problems now, just wait until you see the next 1D camera. The autofocus module alone is going to make Skynet look like a small pocket calculator in comparison. It’ll have locked focus on the subject even before you realize what you want to focus on. I kid you not, it’ll be that good. Theoretically, ofcourse. I pray to God Japan doesn’t screw this one up again.

Anyway that’s it for now. I need to get back to work.