Conference call to Canon Inc.’s Masaya Maeda

In the past I’ve often mentioned conference calls I had with Canon Inc. in Japan. I’ve also posted transcripts of chat sessions I’ve had with Canon Inc. executives such as Masaya Maeda a couple of times. But last week I had the idea of actually recording one of my conference calls and publishing it here so you can listen yourself to what I have to deal with here at Canon.

The conference call is between me, Frankie (UK) and Berend (the Netherlands), both from Canon Europe and Masaya Maeda, Director and Chief Executive of Image Communication Products Operations at Canon Inc. in Japan. You’ll hear us discussing the poor autofocus system of the 5D Mark II, the stupid increase of megapixels at the expensive of image quality, the 60D, 7D, Nikon D700 and D7000, the 5D Mark III petition (sign it if you haven’t yet) and lots more. Here it is on YouTube:

Conference call Transcript

Chuck: So, okay, Frankie and Berend I’m going to get Maeda in here now.

Frankie: Yeah call the fucking bastard let’s hear what he has to say!

Berend: Ja, call him.

Chuck: Easy Frankie think about your bloodpressure.

Receptionist: Hello this is Canon Japan, how may I help you?

Chuck: Yeah can I speak to Masaya Maeda please?

Receptionist: One moment please, I connect you.

Maeda: Hello this is Masaya Maeda.

Chuck: Maeda this is Chuck Westfall from Canon USA, and I’ve also got Frankie and Berend from Canon Europe CPS on the line.

Maeda: Greetings, how you are doing?

Chuck: Well not so good, we’re having trouble with the latest DSLR products. Customers are complaining.

Maeda: Is Rob Galbraith again? I get tired of him now.

Chuck: No it’s not Galbraith, customers in general.

Maeda: Is that so? Where complaining? We not hear about this.

Chuck:  Well for one the image quality is taking a serious hit with all the megapixels you keep putting on the sensor. Customers are asking for less megapixels and better image quality.

Frankie: Look at what Nikon is doing with the D3s.

Maeda: We not hear about complaints, market research data show customer are want more megapixel. So we give more megapixel.

Chuck: That’s not the feedback we get from our customers.

Berend: Ja, we get only complaints here in Holland. More people are buying Nikon cameras now.

Frankie: Just look at the Nikon D700. It has less megapixels than our 60D but people are buying it because of the image quality.

Maeda: People know nothing about image quality. More megapixels is more resolution.

Chuck: But the noise God dammit! It is getting out of hand.

Maeda: Market research show everyone say it is good.

Chuck: Have you seen my petition for the 5D Mark III? People want the focus system on the 1D Mark IV on it.

Berend: Ja the current one sucks.

Maeda: No I have not seen. But the market research data show there are no complaints with everyone say it is good.

Frankie: You fucking bastards just don’t listen do you?

Maeda: Hey watch what you say?

Chuck: Calm down Frankie.

Frankie: Customers say they want better autofocus on the 5D Mark III. Nikon has a professional 51 point autofocus system on their D700. We’re lagging far behind.

Maeda: You want more out of focus?

Chuck: Yes we want better autofocus.

Maeda: Huh? You sure you want more out of focus? We give you out of focus in 1D Mark III and Galbraith complain.

Chuck: Not out of focus dammit, I mean autofocus! We want better autofocus and don’t hold back. Give us the 45 point system in the 5D Mark III.

Maeda: That is what I say, out of focus.

Frankie: Dear lord, he means we want things to be automatically in focus not out of focus!

Maeda: We can’t give focus from 1D Mark IV, otherwise no body buy 1D series camera.

Chuck: But they are not buying the other cameras either God dammit, the current autofocus system sucks balls!!

Berend: It is een kut systeem fucking teringlijders!!

Chuck: Berend went to the red light district last night with his 5D Mark II and the autofocus system just couldn’t keep up with the action.

Frankie: Red light district? hahahahaha Berend what were you doing there mate?

Berend: I was uhm.. testing the autofocus and it was crap! Fucking worthless!

Maeda: Nonononono you listen, market research data show people are happy with autofocus on 5D camera!!

Chuck: Fuck the market research data you fucking moron, we’re giving you real honest to God feedback here!

Frankie: If you spent just a few hours a day talking to customers online instead of wanking so much you would know better.

Maeda: Fuck you, what do you know, why you not design your own camera. Start own company and make camera!

Chuck: You know, I can’t take this anymore. At this age I shouldn’t have to put up with this God damn none sense.

Frankie: You bastards, you fucking rebelized the 60D, and it got completely owned by the Nikon D7000. Even the 7D can’t go up against it. Who the fuck releases a 7D with a fucking barcode reader?

Maeda: There is much demand for barcode reader.

Chuck: Yeah, you and your mother I guess.

Berend: You cannot make the same mistake again with the Nikon D800. It will own the 5D Mark III.

Maeda: Nikon camera sucks. What do they know? Our cameras much better. We wil put extra megapixel on next 5D and they can not compete! You all stupid.

Frankie: How dare you fucking bastard call us stupid, you bloody morons!

Maeda: You stupid!! You stupid! You know nothing! You crazy!

Frankie: Up yours you moron! Yeah. Yeah. Your mother!

Berend: God, wat een stelletje idioten.

Chuck: Oh God, I can’t take this shit anymore. I’m going to be hospitalized again.

Frankie: Hang in there Westfall, don’t let it get to you!

Chuck: God dammit where did I put my pills? I’m going to hang up now, I need a drink. Talk to you all later.

Maeda: And you stop bothering me now ok?

Frankie: Yeah go back to stroking your tiny salami Maeda.

Berend: Ja go fight Godzilla!

Maeda: I fire you all!!



So now you know.

Today also marks the 2 year anniversary of the Canon Inc. take down notice, where they tried to take down my blog, but ended up promoting it instead. Man. how time flies… gotta go now, the champagne awaits me!

13 thoughts on “Conference call to Canon Inc.’s Masaya Maeda


    I rolling lhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahhahaa.

    Madea is a MORON hahahhahahahahahhahahahhhhh

  2. The sad thing is that this call probably actually happened.

    You’re a real warrior to hang in there Chuck, particularly when Nikon would probably offer you a hefty salary to switch sides. That’s true brand loyalty.

    • Thanks man, you have to fight for what you believe in. And the customers are what’s important to me. I’ve been busting my ass off for years for this company, helping out customers and I’m not about to give up anytime soon.

  3. Yea but then again, Fake Chuck probably isn’t Real Chuck. And I remember FC saying he ermmm… tested the D3 when it came out. So FC may well be a dual user.

    I’m stuck with the 7D now and it doesn’t look good when my friends are buying D7000. But hey FC you’re doing a great job. Hang in there man.

    BTW, is there a way you can get rid of Madea? Like give him a golden handshack or something? Inflate his ego and send him off to greener pastures?

    • I wish there was a way, but it seems like we’re stuck with the bastard. And by the way, the Nikon gear I own is for competitive research purposes. It’s just work. You have to know the competition. Ahem.

  4. Hey FC, now I know for sure you’re a mental case! Your ass will be punished my merciless ninja warriors! Then Maeda will fire your not-so-tight-any-more-ass! Sorry for this, but I will love to see this and capture it for eternity with the new 5d Mark III – that will be a nice way of boosting sales, don’t you think?

      • Hmmm, a bit of out of focus will just let Canon costumers’ imagination play. And I’m sure all of them will say “Fuck, I will never switch to Nikon, I couldn’t bare it if images would have been just a bit more sharp”.

  5. Pingback: Oh God, No… « Fake Chuck Westfall

    • CANON please stop MP war!!! It`s OK to have this on 1DS4 to complete with D3XS/D4 BUT please lower MP count to 10MP and use fucking K-5/D7000 sensor change to large Pixels!!PLEASE go 500/600 and 300/400 (II) 200-4001.4x to change MARKET!

  6. Pingback: Canon Inc., will you be my Valentine? | Fake Chuck Westfall

  7. Pingback: Karel Donk's Blog » I am Fake Chuck Westfall

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