The DxOMark of the Beast

Un-fucking-believable

Un-fucking-believable

Boy those morons at DxO Labs really know how to get to me. Their sensor scores for the EOS 70D were recently published, and as you would normally expect by now, it’s way behind the Nikon sensors. If this doesn’t prove to you that they’re on the take from Nikon, then nothing will. I mean, I’m not very impressed with the 70D image quality myself for a few reasons. But giving it that low of a score compared to a fucking 6 year old sensor in the Nikon D300s really is absurd.

The below scores are equally as absurd and sad and do not reflect reality at all. In fact there’s not even a shadow of a doubt in my mind that reality is probably not a concept that’s well understood at DxO Labs.

DxOMark sucks balls

Wait jest wan bombaclad minute, mon! Dees nuh look irie tuh me!?

I’m beginning to suspect that there’s something bigger going on here and all of this may be leading to something far worse for Canon Inc. I know for a fact that they’re watching us. Just a few days ago on August 28 the below message suddenly popped up in my inbox.

Somebody's watching me

Somebody’s watching me

And this was on the same day that they published their 70D scores. Don’t believe me? Fucking look it up.

DXOMarkSo they published that bullshit score for the 70D, and then added me just to see what my reaction would be! This just goes to show you that this is all planned and done on purpose. And I think there’s a larger conspiracy going on here and I intend to get to the bottom of it.

Not too long ago I predicted in my interview at Aputure that this would be a time of tremendous upheaval.

I and many others in this industry got frustrated with Canon more than 3 years ago around the time of the great 1D Mark III debacle. Many ancient civilizations had foretold a time of great upheaval at Canon which would occur in our lifetime during the coming of the new age of Aquarius. And I think that’s what we started experiencing back then. It was a major change in our collective consciousness at Canon. Everyone got fed up with the way Canon Inc. were handling a number of issues, and I took it upon myself to start my blog and let the world know what was going on at Canon. You’ve just witnessed EOS making a serious comeback in this industry, and so far you’ve just seen the beginning. Do you think it’s a coincidence that this is happening in the year 2012?

It’s no coincidence that Canon Inc. is making a major comeback now, with Nikon fatally wounded in the aftermath and left behind hemorrhaging customers to Canon and Sony. And the biblical prophecies clearly stated that during these end times the anti-Christ would unleash the mark of the beast (666) on all of us.

Well folks, what we have here is DxO Labs AKA the anti-Canon, and DxO Mark which is their Mark of the beast.

Don’t believe me? I did some investigation over the weekend and it turns out the letter combination “DxO” contains the number 666 which as you know is the number of the beast. Many of you may be familiar with the ASCII table, which is the code table for characters you see on your computer screen. Well follow the link and look up the decimal values for the characters D, x and O. Here’s what you get: D = 68, x = 120 and O = 79.

Now if you add these decimal values together, you get: 68+120+79 = 267. Now multiply that result by 2.4943820224719101123595505617978 and lo and behold, you get the number 666 — which is the number of the beast.

Coincidence…? I think not.

This, in my honest opinion, is clear evidence that the anti-Canon has been among us for a while now during these last days, and that they have been putting their 666 Mark, the mark of the beast, on our products while trying to deceive all of you to go down the wrong path.

All of you Canon customers out there, you have to remain strong during these challenging times. You will be put to the test. Have faith in Canon. Do NOT get misled by the anti-Canon or you will perish just like Nikon when judgment day comes. Do not accept their DxOMark of the beast!!!

Please take out your bibles now my brothers and sisters, and let us read the following verses together:

Isaiah 50:10 — Who is among you that feareth Canon, that obeyeth the voice of His blogger, that walketh in darkness and hath no light? Let him trust in the name of Canon, and stay upon his Brand.

Isaiah 45:7 — I form the light, and create darkness; I, Canon, do all these things.

1 Corinthians 4:5 — Therefore judge nothing before the time, until Canon come, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts; and then shall every man have praise of Canon.

Psalm 18:28 — You, O Canon, keep my camera working; my Canon turns my darkness into light.

Matthew 6:22 — “The eye is the lens of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.

Job 33:28 — Canon redeemed my soul from going down to Nikon, and I will live to enjoy the light.

2 Samuel 22:29 — For Thou art my lamp, O Canon; and Canon will lighten my darkness.

Psalm 89:15 — Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Canon.

Canon Explorers of Light

Canon Explorers of Light

Ephesians 5:8 — For ye were sometimes darkness, but now ye are light in the Canon. Walk as explorers of light.

Luke 16:8 — And Canon commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely; for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the explorers of light.

Revelation 22:5 — And there shall be no night there, and they will need no candle, neither light of the sun; for Canon giveth them speedlight. And they shall reign for ever and ever.

In the name of Canon, AMEN.

Be strong my brothers and sisters. Do not get tempted by the dark side. Stay on the path of light and have faith in Canon. Now take out the tools of joy, granted to us by the lord our Canon, and go out as explorers into the light and be blessed capturing it.

6 thoughts on “The DxOMark of the Beast

  1. Pingback: On the Canon 70D Image Quality and other stuff | Fake Chuck Westfall

  2. Pingback: Why Scott Kelby switched to Canon | Fake Chuck Westfall

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