Launch of the new “5D Mark II”

I’ve been playing with the new “5D Mark II” for the last month and I have to say, both Nikon and Sony are going to shit their pants. Yeah yeah, I know, I’m biased, but seriously, it’s good. Japan won’t allow me to give you too much information as of yet, but since some of our NDA’s have expired today, I’m going to pre-empt the press and give you some more details.

First, there’s this image:

'5D Mark II', EF 24mm f/1.4 L II, 1/400s, f11, ISO 400

"5D Mark II", EF 35mm f/1.4 L II, 1/400s, f11, ISO 400

At first, it might seem like a normal image, but when you realize that this was taken about 10pm at night, at a shutter speed of 1/400s, and an aperture of f11, and at 400 ISO, you have to agree with me that this is far from normal. After the release of the new “5D Mark II” it will be normal.

People commented on the way I laughed when I demonstrated the 10 FPS framerate of the 1D Mark III last year, just wait until you hear me laugh this time!

The 24MP sensor in the “5D Mark II” is going to enable extremely low light photography. Combined with our fast lenses, the possibilities are mindblowing. Prepare to take pictures in your living room during the day at 1/4000s, f2.8, ISO 100. We’re so confident about the low light capabilities, we haven’t even included a built in flash on this camera. In fact, the use of flash is going to be only for creative purposes from now on.

I’m not yet allowed to reveal the name of this camera, but I can show you this image I got from our marketing department. It’s not very clear, I know, the marketing people insisted on taking this picture with a 1D Mark III in AI Servo mode.

The "EOS 5D Mark II" or whatever is really its name ;)

The "EOS 5D Mark II" or whatever is really its name 😉

All the details are going to be revealed beginning next week. Exciting times for everyone!

60 thoughts on “Launch of the new “5D Mark II”

  1. What a fucking timewaster.
    Fake, fake fake fake.
    You must lead an extremely boring life.
    I can’t imagine why people would spend so much time making all this fake bullshit.
    Take a hike, motherfucker and stop wasting our time.
    CUNT

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  4. Wow, Comment threads have really become a great forum for elevated discussion! Funny post Chuck but you may need to turn on some comment filtering to block the trolls (or whatever they are.)

  5. That’s funny. Don’t listen to the little children whining (Philip), they’re just emotionally involved and were hoping for real news. Probably fell for it until they realized then felt embarrassed and had to lash out. tsk tsk tsk

  6. “Prepare to take pictures in your living room during the day at 1/4000s, f2.8, ISO 100” . There a 3 parameters that bias exposure, here they are. So in those conditions you’ll get a black picture…………. That’s not a question of sensor quality nor film, that’s photography.

  7. Nicolas-

    This is why we’re calling this “Destined Evolution.” New developments and improvements in sensor design, are allowing us to give a whole new meaning to ISO values. We now essentially have to de-amplify the signal from the sensor photo-diodes to simulate the lower ISO values.
    Even at “ISO 100”, the sensor is still too sensitive, while still giving clean noise-free images, so you need the high shutter speed for a good exposure.
    We’re looking at introducing negative ISO values (ISO -100, ISO -400 etc.) to allow photographers to take pictures using lower shutter speeds.

  8. FCW,

    The tone of your answer is very nice, thanks.
    But please re-adjust you lies a little bit, that’s almost insulting…

    “Negative ISOs” is a very creative troll though ^^

  9. “It’s not very clear, I know, the marketing people insisted on taking this picture with a 1D Mark III in AI Servo mode.”

    Haha.. nice one!

    Will the new 5D finally have a sealed up body like the 1D’s?

  10. Pingback: Canon 5D Mark II Information | Allen Gambrell

  11. Hey “Chuck,” this is a very entertaining blog. Keep up the good work. BTW, has Canon given Rob Galbraith a 5D MkII to test yet?

  12. OMG! I seriously LMAO! 😀
    Love ur sense of humor and the exaggerated creativity in those crazy tech terms!
    Keep up the good work, FCW! 😉

  13. phillip must have graduated from the cheech and chong school of international diplomacy. interesting website concept, fake chuck =)

  14. International Diplomacy? I learned that from G. W. Bush, the master of nuance.
    By the way. It’s old news what fcwestfall comes up with. Any idiot knows that the 5D mkII is going to look like this:

  15. The use of mkIII for taking the picture was a big error. I guess it not had the mirror fixed.

    Fantastic, 1/400 ISO 400 @22 PM
    The 1DMKIII shot
    The negative ISO…
    Keep writing on…

  16. Excellent. You made my heart beating really fast for a few seconds… 😉 I really thought it was true…

    Hey, Philip, i found your comments absolutely funny too.

    Philip… you made a joke, didn’t you?

  17. Very good; you’ve picked up nicely on the frenzied zeitgeist. Tragic how few people here can tell the difference between “having a bit of fun” and “being a life-ruining troll”. I’m looking forward to the 5DII as much as anyone which is what makes this such a good gag. Bravo. …and a big “yah boo sucks” to all the semi-literate naysayers. For shame.

  18. We’ll see what Canon will announce in the coming weeks. I’ve been waiting for a full frame for a while than can shoot more shots per second than 5D. I hope the new one would not disappoint me. But, of course, only if it would not be too expensive.

  19. Before I even read I chuckled at the take-off on fake-steve-jobs. this has a lot of fun potential if you follow through. Nice start. Now how about some further fun explanations of things like the video mode? The exposure thing was just a bit silly and over-the-top, which is fine, but I think you’ll find more chuckles if you combine some closer-to-the-truth possibilities with your humorous writing style. Let’s see some more.

  20. Nice one 🙂

    The line ‘the marketing people insisted on taking this picture with a 1D Mark III in AI Servo mode’ made chuckle for sure 🙂

    With the current furious rumouring about the new 5D, this was a breath of fresh air.

    Alan.

  21. How come you didn’t talk about the new flashes and built-in controller coming out. Canon is going RF so line of sight and outdoors will work great. That is the coolest feature of the new 5D mkII, but nobody seems to care.

  22. Pingback: “5D Mark II” Marketing Campaign Rocking the Internet « Fake Chuck Westfall

  23. Hello, Canon? My ISO’s are too negative. Is there anyway you can reorient the karma of my photodiodes and positivize them again? I really can’t shoot this way. My models are complaining about my negative diodes!

  24. well, i’ll wait for some real press release. the exposure above is totally fake, and no matter what camera you have, the EV is always the same (proper exposure for this photo is roughly 1-4 sec, f11, iso 400).

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  26. Tail-light streaks? I just saw that and it looks like someone got murdered and dragged along the street earlier that evening. I don’t know how one can see that and conclude they’re “tail-light streaks.”

    Thanks for pointing that out though, we’ll notify the authorities.

  27. Dear Fake Chuck Westfall, your news are just like your name “fake”.
    Negative ISO ?
    Oh come on man.
    The web is already full of shit…no need of adding more

  28. fucking whiners. Eat some more of the blue pills and you’ll suddenly appreciate fakie chuckie’s great sense of humor. Imagine to take the time to do all this absolutely meaningless bullshit. The man is a genius!!

  29. Didn’t you say there will be a EF 35mm f/1.4L and a “24MP sensor” in the canon. Guess you were wrong (:

    Seriously, don’t waste your own time, go out and live your own life, don’t hide in your mum’s basement.

  30. Seriously……stop being so upset.

    If you could’nt spot the fact that it was fake from either the URL or the huge page header that clearly reads “FAKE ……..”, then you deserve to get caught.

    If you actually read past the first paragraph, and still could not figure it out….then ol “Chuck” is not the idiot here!!

    If you read past the first paragraph suspecting it to be fake, and you still continued……then you clearly have more time to waste then ol “Chuck”.

    If you left a comment……you probably were bored!!

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