The DxOMark of the Beast

Un-fucking-believable

Un-fucking-believable

Boy those morons at DxO Labs really know how to get to me. Their sensor scores for the EOS 70D were recently published, and as you would normally expect by now, it’s way behind the Nikon sensors. If this doesn’t prove to you that they’re on the take from Nikon, then nothing will. I mean, I’m not very impressed with the 70D image quality myself for a few reasons. But giving it that low of a score compared to a fucking 6 year old sensor in the Nikon D300s really is absurd.

The below scores are equally as absurd and sad and do not reflect reality at all. In fact there’s not even a shadow of a doubt in my mind that reality is probably not a concept that’s well understood at DxO Labs.

DxOMark sucks balls

Wait jest wan bombaclad minute, mon! Dees nuh look irie tuh me!?

I’m beginning to suspect that there’s something bigger going on here and all of this may be leading to something far worse for Canon Inc. I know for a fact that they’re watching us. Just a few days ago on August 28 the below message suddenly popped up in my inbox.

Somebody's watching me

Somebody’s watching me

And this was on the same day that they published their 70D scores. Don’t believe me? Fucking look it up.

DXOMarkSo they published that bullshit score for the 70D, and then added me just to see what my reaction would be! This just goes to show you that this is all planned and done on purpose. And I think there’s a larger conspiracy going on here and I intend to get to the bottom of it.

Not too long ago I predicted in my interview at Aputure that this would be a time of tremendous upheaval.

I and many others in this industry got frustrated with Canon more than 3 years ago around the time of the great 1D Mark III debacle. Many ancient civilizations had foretold a time of great upheaval at Canon which would occur in our lifetime during the coming of the new age of Aquarius. And I think that’s what we started experiencing back then. It was a major change in our collective consciousness at Canon. Everyone got fed up with the way Canon Inc. were handling a number of issues, and I took it upon myself to start my blog and let the world know what was going on at Canon. You’ve just witnessed EOS making a serious comeback in this industry, and so far you’ve just seen the beginning. Do you think it’s a coincidence that this is happening in the year 2012?

It’s no coincidence that Canon Inc. is making a major comeback now, with Nikon fatally wounded in the aftermath and left behind hemorrhaging customers to Canon and Sony. And the biblical prophecies clearly stated that during these end times the anti-Christ would unleash the mark of the beast (666) on all of us.

Well folks, what we have here is DxO Labs AKA the anti-Canon, and DxO Mark which is their Mark of the beast.

Don’t believe me? I did some investigation over the weekend and it turns out the letter combination “DxO” contains the number 666 which as you know is the number of the beast. Many of you may be familiar with the ASCII table, which is the code table for characters you see on your computer screen. Well follow the link and look up the decimal values for the characters D, x and O. Here’s what you get: D = 68, x = 120 and O = 79.

Now if you add these decimal values together, you get: 68+120+79 = 267. Now multiply that result by 2.4943820224719101123595505617978 and lo and behold, you get the number 666 — which is the number of the beast.

Coincidence…? I think not.

This, in my honest opinion, is clear evidence that the anti-Canon has been among us for a while now during these last days, and that they have been putting their 666 Mark, the mark of the beast, on our products while trying to deceive all of you to go down the wrong path.

All of you Canon customers out there, you have to remain strong during these challenging times. You will be put to the test. Have faith in Canon. Do NOT get misled by the anti-Canon or you will perish just like Nikon when judgment day comes. Do not accept their DxOMark of the beast!!!

Please take out your bibles now my brothers and sisters, and let us read the following verses together:

Isaiah 50:10 — Who is among you that feareth Canon, that obeyeth the voice of His blogger, that walketh in darkness and hath no light? Let him trust in the name of Canon, and stay upon his Brand.

Isaiah 45:7 — I form the light, and create darkness; I, Canon, do all these things.

1 Corinthians 4:5 — Therefore judge nothing before the time, until Canon come, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts; and then shall every man have praise of Canon.

Psalm 18:28 — You, O Canon, keep my camera working; my Canon turns my darkness into light.

Matthew 6:22 — “The eye is the lens of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.

Job 33:28 — Canon redeemed my soul from going down to Nikon, and I will live to enjoy the light.

2 Samuel 22:29 — For Thou art my lamp, O Canon; and Canon will lighten my darkness.

Psalm 89:15 — Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Canon.

Canon Explorers of Light

Canon Explorers of Light

Ephesians 5:8 — For ye were sometimes darkness, but now ye are light in the Canon. Walk as explorers of light.

Luke 16:8 — And Canon commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely; for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the explorers of light.

Revelation 22:5 — And there shall be no night there, and they will need no candle, neither light of the sun; for Canon giveth them speedlight. And they shall reign for ever and ever.

In the name of Canon, AMEN.

Be strong my brothers and sisters. Do not get tempted by the dark side. Stay on the path of light and have faith in Canon. Now take out the tools of joy, granted to us by the lord our Canon, and go out as explorers into the light and be blessed capturing it.

The Canon EOS 70D is here

Yeah I’m a bit late but I actually work for a living here at Canon USA, so sue me. The EOS 70D is out, and you can see some of what’s to come with the 7D Mark II in there. Most importantly the new sensor with on-sensor phase detection autofocus, which, as far as I’m concerned is one of the best innovations we’ve had in a long while. This is going to open up a whole host of possibilities and new features, most of which Canon Inc. will introduce with the higher models.

I mentioned a few posts ago how I was wrapped up in an internal battle with Japan about the godawful 9-point autofocus system. Man that struggle alone lost me another 20% of my hair. I managed to convince Japan to step up the AF system on the lower models, and the 70D now has the same AF from the 7D, which is a big deal. Yes, take note, and you have me to thank for it.

Of course this means the 7D Mark II is gonna have to get the AF system form the 5D Mark III. Before you start smiling keep in mind that the price of the 7D Mark II is gonna be much higher than the 7D. But as far as I can see right now, it’s gonna be worth it. Especially with the frame rate we’re planning on having on it.

The only thing that concerns me right now is the image quality. But before I post about that I’m gonna wait for Japan to deliver the production firmware so I can be fair about it. I don’t know what it is with the Japanese and megapixels. I thought I had won that battle long ago with the 5D Mark III, but they keep on pushing it. I pray to God that the new medium format lineup gets ready soon so that the marketing department can masturbate all over the megapixels there while they leave the 35mm sensors where they are right now.

It’s a fucking shame that the 70D has the autofocus system that should have been in the 6D. Canon Inc. just completely fucked the 6D up by including such an ancient AF system on it. Mainly because of that crap autofocus system I can’t recommend that camera to people when they ask me. You’re just better off getting a 5D Mark III. And if you just can’t afford that, you better get the Nikon D600, tho it’s not that great compared to the 5D Mark III, which is still the best fucking DSLR in the history of human civilization, if we don’t look at the 1DX.

Van Niekerk

Van Niekerk – In theaters soon.

Van Niekerk, photographer by day and vampire slayer by night, did an ISO comparison between the 1DX, D4, 5D Mark III, 6D ad D600, which I think you should check out. It clearly shows the superiority of the latest Canon EOS models. Some of what he says:

1. To my eye, the Canon 6D and Canon 5D mark III behaved similarly in this aspect – high-ISO performance.
2. There is a definite (but not that an incredible) jump from the Canon 5D mark II, to these two cameras.

[..]
5. The Nikon D600 performed surprisingly poorly, especially if you think of how fantastic the Nikon D3s and Nikon D4 perform, and how the Nikon D3 was the high-ISO king for quite some time. The D600 that I had, did have the latest firmware, so I can’t explain the noticeable poorer performance compared to the other cameras.

Keep in mind that the 5D Mark III is slightly better compared to the 6D with regards to image quality for stills, and much better if you’re doing video (moire, aliasing etc.). Canon Inc. just fucked with the image quality on the 6D and totally sent everything to hell with the piece of crap 9-point AF system.

DXOMarkBut what’s even more interesting here about Van Niekerk’s observations is with regards to the Nikon D600. The reason is because this, AGAIN, proves that those goddamn motherfuckers at DxO Labs are fucking fooling the entire industry with their bullshit benchmarks. Just take a look at the screenshot below. You’d think that the D600 is so much better compared to the 5D Mark III and 6D based on those scores. Yet, in reality things are completely different, and I’ve shown this before with my analysis of the piece of crap D800.

DXO Mark Sucks Balls

DXO Mark Sucks Balls

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, this isn’t a surprise to you. Why people still take those morons at DxOLabs serious is beyond me. I’ve given up long ago to understand this shit. I have better chances understanding my wife to be perfectly honest with you.

Redneck ordering a Nikon D800

Yo’ kin’t go wrong wif a D800 acco’din’ t’them fuckwads at DXOLabs

Anyway, I’ve got a conference call that’s about to start with Tokyo regarding the new 14-24mm lens so until next time. Take care!

WOW, Just WOW

This country is going down the fucking drain man. I simply cannot believe WTF is happening right now. Just look at the video below.

As if this isn’t enough:

The saga of Lavabit founder Ladar Levison is getting even more ridiculous, as he explains that the government has threatened him with criminal charges for his decision to shut down the business, rather than agree to some mysterious court order.

You may also want to check out my Snowden post and the entire comments section there. This is getting uglier by the day.

Just remember what that guy said:

Lavabit’s webpage bears a warning from Ladar Levinson, its founder: “Without congressional action or a strong judicial precedent, I would strongly recommend against anyone trusting their private data to a company with physical ties to the United States.

This is full blown police state stuff right now. Yeah, you thought it wouldn’t get any worse than being questioned for photographing a fucking tree in public, didn’t ya?? I warned you all back then. Remain passive, and see just how far they will take this. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED AGAIN. WAKE UPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

Get a brain! morans

Get a brain! morans

Canon 1DX and 1DC Autofocus Issues

Well, what can I say? Canon Inc. fucked up again. If you have a 1DX or 1DC you might want to read this service advisory.

This notice is to proactively inform our customers of the details of the phenomena described below along with Canon’s support actions. Because we value the trust our customers have placed in us, we are dedicated to continuously improving product quality and delivering industry-leading service and support. We offer our sincerest apologies to any customer who may be inconvenienced.

Affected Products EOS-1D X Digital SLR Camera EOS-1D C Cinema EOS Camera

Phenomena In some units of the models listed below, there is a possibility that the following phenomena may occur due to wear caused by insufficient lubrication within the camera’s driving mechanism.

  1. AF searches but does not lock in on the subject. (Caused by
    minute particles produced by wear mentioned above.)
  2. The image shown in the viewfinder is “blurry” or “not steady”.     (Occurs if wear progresses.)

Read more.

I pray to God this doesn’t become another 1D Mark III debacle. It’s the last thing I need right now in my life.

At least Canon Inc. has the correct approach this time: Proactively informing customers because of “recognizing the trust customers have placed in us.” This goes a long way.

God this is so depressing.

U know what? Fuck it. I’m on my way to the pub.

Edward Snowden is a fucking Hero

Edward Snowden - A fucking HERO

Edward Snowden – A fucking HERO

Another public service announcement here on the blog today, because certain things just need to be said. This man Edward Snowden is a fucking hero. Imagine the balls one must have to do what Snowden did for the people of the USA, and indeed the entire fucking world. Exposing the NSA and CIA in the way he did requires an absolutely massive pair of balls. The mass we can estimate his balls must have far exceeds Rob Galbraith’s balls, which I’ve talked about before. Whereas Galbraith needed a wheelbarrow to carry his balls around, I believe Snowden’s balls are so massive they distort the very fabric of space-time around them. I’ve drawn a diagram below to explain to you what I mean.

Edward Snowden has MASSIVE balls

Edward Snowden has MASSIVE balls (click image for larger view)

Einstein was the first to predict this phenomenon many years ago. And today we’d likely be able to observe this if we could see Snowden’s balls. Due to the incredible mass and density of his balls, space-time becomes distorted around them, and as a result objects that are behind his balls would appear to be next to them when viewed from the front.

Humankind in general is now indebted to Snowden for his heroism. It’s like he says:

Q: Why did you decide to become a whistleblower?

A: “The NSA has built an infrastructure that allows it to intercept almost everything. With this capability, the vast majority of human communications are automatically ingested without targeting. If I wanted to see your emails or your wife’s phone, all I have to do is use intercepts. I can get your emails, passwords, phone records, credit cards.”

“I don’t want to live in a society that does these sort of things … I do not want to live in a world where everything I do and say is recorded. That is not something I am willing to support or live under.”

And neither am I, and neither should all of you! It’s like I mentioned in my post about the Apollo XI One Light Workshop: All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

And Snowden is a good man. Nothing like the fucking coward Neil Armstrong who fucking died taking all his secrets with him while letting evil continue to fuck up our lives on a daily basis:

I have absolutely no respect for people like Armstrong. They’re fucking cowards. It’s because of people like him that we’re living in the fucked up world that we live in today. It’s because of the fucking cowards like Armstrong that this blog exists today. Except for Galbraith, all the fucking girliemen in this industry were too afraid to stand up against Canon Inc. You should be ashamed of yourself. All ‘o ya!! Remember this quote: “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Obviously I can respect people like Snowden. The world would be a much better place if everyone could be like him, instead of being the fucking pussies you all are.

And if you fuckwads continue to be the sheeple that you are, it’s gonna get worse. Even a fucking gaming console is about to be utilized by the NSA and CIA to monitor you 24 hours a day. Just read up on what Microsoft has planned for you and your children with their Xbox One:

The spying concern wasn’t groundless. The new Kinect can see in the dark, pick out human voices in a noisy living room and read your heartrate just by looking at your face. It was unveiled by Microsoft last week as a fixture of the fall-releasing Xbox One. The thing has to be plugged in for the console to work, and is in some way already checking out what’s going on in the room it’s in.

[…]

Keep in mind that all of this is part of a much bigger global spying policy being implemented by the elite; the NSA Prism program is just a small part of that larger policy. Microsoft has participated in a number of meetings with the Bilderberg group and the names of its executives, such as chief research and strategy officer Craig Mundie, have appeared on the secret attendee lists many times. If you don’t know what the Bilderberg group is, you may want to read up on them. That the chief research officer of Microsoft would be joining their meetings and be a member of its steering committee shouldn’t be a surprise. Undoubtedly the policies set forth by the Bilderberg group are brought back by Mundie to Microsoft for implementation in their technology, and that’s how gamers end up with the fucking big brother spy console that is the Xbox One.

You can say whatever you want about Canon Inc., but we’d never dare to do what Microsoft is doing here. Being economically raped, like Microsoft is doing to gamers, is one thing — and Canon Inc. has certainly been doing its fair share of economic raping — but fucking spying on people and sharing their personal data and all communications with the NSA and CIA in FUCKING SECRET while you FUCKING LIE AND DENY you’re doing it is a whole different story.

Pay attention to what’s going on, share and ACT. ACT!!

Sign this: https://optin.stopwatching.us/

SIGN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Canon Inc. rape, feature requests, and why the Canon EOS 6D sucks balls

Man what a weekend. What a weekend! Things are just so hectic around here I barely get any time to update the blog. But I have to do this update today because my previous post about Canon Inc. raping us all didn’t come across very well with some of my contacts at Canon Inc. To be honest, this happens quite often, but this time I feel that their criticisms do have some validity.

Yeah, it’s true that the 5D Mark III could be enabled to do all kinds of advanced stuff, as the guys from Magic Lantern have shown recently with their RAW video update. However, it may not be reasonable to expect Canon Inc. to just implement and enable any and all possibilities on such a camera. It takes quite a lot of work to implement and test functionality on a camera, and adding features — sometimes what may seem as even minor features — could simply mean a lot of additional engineering work, not to mention testing and Q/A work. And at some point you just have to stop adding stuff and release the product. Otherwise you could go on adding and developing to infinity.

So yeah, maybe I was a little too hard on them in the previous post. Especially since Canon Inc. has shown us in recent years that they do listen. But during the discussion I also mentioned, and we talked about, the possibility of releasing an SDK along with some of our products that would enable other people to more easily extend their functionalities, and even introduce new ones, and basically add value to our products without us having to do very much ourselves. Wouldn’t it be nice if the guys at Magic Lantern, for example, could just use such an officially supported SDK to build cool new features everyone, including Canon Inc. could benefit from — instead of having to hack into and reverse engineer the products?

A company famous for using this strategy for many years now is Microsoft. They’ve been handing out development tools and sample code to software developers for free for years. And look how that has worked out for them. All kinds of programs exist within Microsoft for independent software vendors to get free software licenses to get them started building cool new software for the Windows platform. Sometimes you can even get some funding in addition to free licenses. This leads to more interesting software that runs on their platform, which leads to more value, which leads to more users, which leads to market share and sales, which leads to $$$$$.

With an official SDK from Canon Inc., developers could build on top of our existing products and add value to them, adding all kinds of stuff we couldn’t add ourselves, eventually leading to more interesting products and more customers. There are so many cool benefits I just don’t want to name them all here for the competition to steal.

And you’re not going to believe this, but I had this discussion last week, and lo and fucking behold, I almost fell off of my chair this morning when I saw that Samsung is already releasing the code for their cameras to open source developers.

Canon Inc. needs to act fast man. Who the fuck wants to develop for Samsung anyway? Their platform sucks balls. EOS is where the fucking power lies in this industry, as the guys from Magic Lantern have clearly demonstrated. If we had an official SDK out, people would be all over it.

Now, having said all of the above, this still doesn’t change the fact that for many features, Canon Inc. IS GUILTY of dumbing down and crippling products fucking INTENTIONALLY. That needs to be said. It’s just that it’s unreasonable to expect them to add all features that a product could be capable of supporting.

Just look at the goddamn 6D. I still haven’t written a post dedicated to this camera because honest to God, as soon as I think about this camera I get fucking depressed. Was it really neccessary to put a sync speed of 1/180th on it? Honestly? The fucking 5D Mark III is already crippled with 1/200th sync speed. Why in God’s name was it neccessary to go to 1/180th sync on the 6D?

And you know what pains me the most about this? Just a few days before the release of the 6D, I was on Twitter smacktalking The Lord of the Speedlights about how we already had built-in wireless capabilities via RT on our flashes, and how we’re going to show him that the 5D Mark IV would even have a 1/500th sync speed in the future.

Twitter discussion

Twitter discussion

And then, just a few days later, Canon Inc. totally fucking lets me down with the 6D and announces it with a sync speed even worse than the D600. When in fact I’m sure the sensor in the 6D would be quite able to handle at least a 1/200th sync speed. I’m just glad The Lord of the Speedlights apparently isn’t aware of this, and never replied to my last tweet to publicly laugh at me and rub the 6D fuckup in. That would have been quite embarrassing.

This kind of intentional crippling of products is just not necessary man. Seriously. The same thing can be said about the 9-point piece of fucking shit autofocus system on the 6D. I keep saying this, but who the fuck releases a camera with a fucking 9-point AF system these days? Honestly? Not only that, but with just one goddamn cross-type point in the center? Really man, that was just not necessary. The 6D could have benefitted from at least the AF system from the 7D. Releasing it the way it is right now at that price is simply criminal behavior. Even the image quality was purposely degraded.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, don’t waste your money on a 6D. Get a Nikon D600, or save some more to get the 5D Mark III. Just pretend the 6D doesn’t exist.

Apart from the 1/500th sync on the 5D Mark IV, I’ve also told Canon Inc. that people want exposure metering linked to the selected AF point. Those of you who have been continuing to spam my inbox with this request, please stop. I know about it, I’ve told Japan, and I keep reminding them. Emailing me about it every other day isn’t going to help right now.

And the same also goes for second curtain sync on our new 600EX-RT flash system when using the wireless capabilities. I already told Japan you guys want that feature. Honest to God, I don’t know why it was left out. Please stop asking me. And the same also goes for being able to set the flash zoom setting on the slaves wirelessly from the master or the ST-E3-RT. This one boggles the mind, I agree. Canon Inc. added the capability to set flash power levels from the master and the ST-E3-RT, but somehow forgot to also let you set the zoom setting wirelessly. So if you want to change the zoom setting on your flashes, you still have to fucking walk up to each and every one of them and do it manually, defeating the entire point of having wireless control over them.

I hope to God that they add these features soon via some kind of firmware update because the kind of emails I receive on these issues almost daily would make even Joe McNally blush uncomfortably while reading.

I’ll be back soon with more. In the mean time keep spamming your local Canon reps with these feature requests!

Being raped by Canon Inc.

By now we all know that we’re being fucking raped by Canon Inc. We’ve seen enough in the last few years that’s made us painfully aware of this fact.

Apart from the 100% profit margins on bodies and lenses, we knew products were being intentionally dumbed down and downright crippled so Canon Inc. could get people to buy the expensive as fuck “more advanced” models.

But this recent RAW video update on the 5D Mark III from Magic Lantern puts things entirely into a new perspective.

And Hitler, for one, is not amused.

Planned obsolescence is wasteful and unethical. It contributes to the fucked up nature of the world we live in today. Things need to change man, things need to change.