In my 30 years here at Canon USA I’ve had to make some tough decisions sometimes, but none of them come close to this one. I can’t decide on what’s sexier in the picture above: the ass or the 5D Mark III with 85L. Life can be so complicated sometimes.
The image above is taken from this review of the 5D Mark III by good old Moses:
This review is going to be a long one as I have a lot of things I want to discuss, but for those of you who want the short version, I can tell you just stop reading and go buy the 5D Mark III. You will not be disappointed. In all honesty I can say that the 5D Mark III is currently the best DSLR on the market, apart from the 1DX. It’s a work of art. I bought two myself. And if you’re wondering about the Nikon D800, I can tell you that the 5D Mark III is a much better choice. I wouldn’t buy the D800 even if it was priced at $2000 and the 5D Mark III was still $3500. That is how good the 5D Mark III is. If you think I’m biased, think about the fact that I have recommended the Nikon D700 in the past instead of the 5D Mark II.
Check it out if you know what’s good for you.
While the 5D Mark III is getting praised everywhere, the Nikon D800 appears to be a very fucked camera. As a commenter remarked recently, two of the biggest Nikon whores are trashing Nikon these days. In my previous post we already saw what Ken Rockwell had to say about the D800 and 5D Mark III:
To shooters upgrading from the Nikon D800 and D800E, the Mark III is greatly improved over the Mark II, while the Nikon D800 and D800E are a step backwards in ergonomics and LCD quality from the D700. Therefore the status quo has reversed; I used to prefer Nikon, while today with the 5D Mark III, I greatly prefer it to my D800E. Pixels impress amateurs, while guys like me who shoot every day for a living are more impressed at how my 5D Mark III lets me get more of the right pixels faster, not just more of the wrong ones.
The 5D Mark III is the world’s best DSLR.
Now it seems Thom Hogan is also having issues with Nikon:
The one thing I think Nikon is getting wrong here is this: Nikon knows they messed up and shipped some number of defective cameras. Yet they are defacto forcing the customer not only to detect the problem, but to pay for shipping of the unit back to Nikon for repair. I think the least Nikon could (and should) do is this: for every camera they receive that actually gets fixed by this new recalibration test, Nikon should refund the shipping cost to the customer. If I were in charge, I’d go further than that and try to find some small reward I could include above and beyond that, along with a note of apology.
Yes, that’s costly. But so is a US$3000 camera that doesn’t focus right. Why is the customer the one that gets punished here?
Remember how I wondered if Nikon was becoming the new Canon? Man, how the mighty have fallen. I would have expected this kind of crap from Canon Inc. months ago, but not from Nikon. A word of advice to all of you Nikon morons: Stop kissing Nikon’s ass and start fucking complaining. Because if you don’t, you’re only going to get a lot more fucked. I hope all of you learned some valuable lessons watching me pull all the hair off of my head (yes, that’s what happened) in the last 5 years in order to get Canon Inc. back on track. This after loads of ass kissing in previous years almost cost us our lead in this industry. Do NOT let it get that far with Nikon. It’s all up to you.
The 58% of you who don’t like all the megapixels on the D800 had better fucking let yourself be heard, or else you’ll be fucked, and you’ll only have yourself to blame for it.
While Nikon is busy pulling off all the above crap, Canon Inc. appears to have become a new company, going so far as to release a new firmware upgrade for a 3-year old camera, the EOS 7D, that almost makes it a brand new camera:
Since its introduction, the Canon EOS 7D has become one of the most popular APS-C EOS DSLRs among serious photographers and semi-professionals. Now, Canon is giving the EOS 7D an exciting upgrade with new Firmware Version 2.0.X! With Firmware Version 2.0.X, the EOS 7D gains a multitude of feature enhancements for higher performance befitting the flagship APS-C EOS. These improvements include a higher maximum burst rate (130* for JPEG Large/Fine and 25* RAW images) for continuous shooting, definable maximum limit for ISO Auto, compatibility with the GPS Receiver GP-E2, and manual audio level adjustment. Additional upgrades also include faster scrolling of magnified images, quick control during playback, in-camera RAW image processing, JPEG image resizing and ratings, plus customization of file names and time zone settings. These significant enhancements are a sure-fire way to make an amazing camera even better than ever before!
I can still remember when Canon Inc. released the barcode scanner with the 7D and I gave them hell here on the blog. How times have changed. How times have changed.
To be honest, I do feel sorry for you Nikon morons. I’m laughing my ass off, but deep down inside I feel your pain even as I laugh. And because of that I want to help you guys out with a few tips on how to get the most out of the piece of shit D800. You’re stuck with that stupid hunk of garbage for at least 3 to 4 years now, so you might as well learn how to get decent results out of it. First let’s take a look at how you can get sharp images with the D800:
The diagram above shows you how you should use the D800 and get sharp images. The key thing here is to make sure that the D800 doesn’t move even a micrometer. As you can see you need to be on rock solid ground first. I recommend a steel reinforced concrete floor that is a least 2 meters thick. You then position your heavy duty tripod on top of that and make sure it is bolted to the concrete floor. For extra stability, stack as many tripods on top of eachother as you like until they can support a combined load of at least 100 KG. Sandbag the shit out of the tripods to make sure everything stays stable. Then put the D800 on top of that. Now remember, you don’t want to touch the D800 at all. Use a WIRELESS remote trigger to take your shots. Not wired, because that could cause the camera to receive small vibrations through the cable which is going to motion blur your pictures to hell. Also very very important is to make sure you shoot on a windstill day. The windspeed should not be higher than 3 knots or else it will cause micro camera shake and your pictures will look like you used a shutter speed of 30 seconds while traveling at 100mph through rough terrain. And last, but most importantly: pray. Say a prayer each time before you take a shot. If you’re an atheist you need to become religious, hell, very religious, if you want this to work. If you’re a Christian, ask Jesus for extra stability during these rough times. If you’re a muslim, talk to Allah. If you’re a Hindu, make sure Shri Krishna hears you before taking the shot.
Finally, I wish you good luck using the D800. May the force be with you.