The time has come for Nikon, Sony, RED and pretty much the entire industry to shit their pants. Yes people, the 5D Mark III is finally out. And boy does it fucking rock!!!! If Jesus Christ were to make his second coming today, this is the camera he’d have around his neck to document his journey.
In previous posts I referred to this camera as the 5DX, because really, I think it deserves that name. Giving it the name “5D Mark III” doesn’t do it justice. That makes it sound like some kind of crappy update to the 5D Mark II, which we all know was shit. This camera is such a big departure from the 5D Mark II on so many levels, that only a 5DX name (X for eXtreme, eXtraordinary) can really do it justice.
I mean for fuck’s sake, just look at the specs:
- 22.3 Megapixel Full Frame CMOS sensor
- DiG!C 5+ Image Processor
- ISO 100-25600 (L:50 H1:51200, H2: 102400)
- Full HD Movie (ISO 100-12800 (H:25600))
- 61-point high-density reticular AF (up to 41 crosstype points)
- 6.0 fps for high continuous shooting
- Intelligent viewfinder with approx. 100% coverage
- 3.2-type, approx.1.04m dot (3:2 wide) Clear View LCD II
- iFCL metering with 63-zone dual-layer sensor
- Shutter durability of 150,000 cycles
- Dual card slots (CF & SD)
- High Dynamic Range (HDR) Mode
- Multiple Exposures
- Improved durability & water and dust resistance
Remember how Maeda fucking claimed that the 5D Mark II was too small to house a better autofocus sensor?????? Well look at it now! FUCKING LOOK AT IT!!!!!! The freaking 61-point AF system from the 1DX in the 5D3!!!!
I mentioned before with the 1DX that Canon Inc. really listened to us this time around, and this shows again with the 5D3. Remember that 5D3 petition I put up last year? Just take a look at how close the features match with what we asked for in the petition!
- 16MP (at least) full frame sensor at least 2 stops noise improvement, no more fucking banding, shadow noise and no black dot horseshit like on the 5D Mark II!
- ISO 50 – 102400. (as good as Nikon D3s or better)
- 45-point AF system from the 1D Mark 4, including Spot-AF like in the 7D. (Nikon D700 has 51-point from the D3)
- 7D/1D4 metering system.
- At least 5 FPS. 8 with battery grip. (like the D700)
- 100% Viewfinder coverage.
- Swivel screen.
- Buffer for 20 RAW shots at least.
- 1/1000 flash sync speed.
- 7D style weather sealing.
- -5 to 5 EV exposure compensation.
- At least 5 image exposure bracketing for HDR.
- Light Peak connection support.
- Video features that’ll make Vincent Laforet, eternal peace and blessings be upon him, happy (check with him pls kthx).
- An anti-sensordust system that actually fucking works, so that Thomas Hawk can increase his productivity by a factor of at least 10 leaving him with more time to complain about Flickr.
- Price: $2700 (like the fucking D700).
You can now also download all the petition signatures as a PDF here: 5D Mark III Petition results. Makes for some interesting reading. I removed the names to protect the innocent. I want to thank all of you who had the balls to sign this petition, I couldn’t have done this without your support!!
Considering what you people listed that you’d do to Maeda if he failed to deliver this time, it’s no surprise that he delivered. Here are some of the things people would do to Maeda if the 5D3 sucked:
- Flood his mail with kitty porn
- Go Kamikaze on his ass…
- kick him in the balls
- Watch “The Notebook” for 24 straight hours
- Something with a thumbscrew.
- Beat him with a 5DII
- Send Chuck Norris to teach him a lesson!
- Touch my lenses to my penis one last time then mail him a bill for any loss in my switch to Nikon.
- Grow bamboo through his happy sack
- high kick to chest
- bollocks to him. feed his balls to the cows.
- Stand him on a bacon slicer and switch it on. Take a slice every five minutes.
- Punch him in the face while filming it with a sony 3D camera
- Ask for the unconditional hiring of Philip Bloom, Stu and Tram Hudson as advisors with power!
- Stick it where the sun don’t shine
- Feed him to the lions!!!
- burn his factory
- Go crazy on his ass with a baseball bat
- Make my wife give him a blowjob. Trust me, he should be scared, and not in a good way.
- We will give him a bukake
- I’ll grab a 5D mkII with 580EX II and smashing it against his head!
- Send another Tsunami
- To begin I’ll break his legs, then put in his ass the new Nikon 70-200 without lube of course
- EAT HIS TESTICALS WHILE ATTACHED
No wonder Maeda delivered. And apart from the petition, my phone call to Maeda also seemed to have played an important role in convincing him to put some really advanced features in the 5D3.
We didn’t get the swivel screen, but it will be coming in the future. Japan just needs to sort out some issues with durability. And obviously the price is higher, but that seems to be the case these days with both Canon and Nikon. I’ve been told that this is due to the earthquake from last year and the economy right now in Japan.
Please don’t expect to hear from me for a few hours as I join the rest of my colleagues here at Canon USA and PAAARTAYY like a wild ANIMALL!!!!!
IT’S GAME ON FOR EOS!!!!!!!!