Nikon D800: Shit are happen

Nikon D800 Poll


I think we’ve gotten to a point now where it’s reasonable to say that the Nikon D800 is pretty much fucked. It’s not even available yet and no sane photographer wants one.

The poll in the image above was done by Nikonrumors. You can see it by clicking here, just so you can check that I haven’t doctored this image. I think it’s safe to assume that the majority of people reading Nikonrumors are Nikon morons. And the results show how badly fucked Nikon is going to be in the near future. Almost 60% of the Nikon morons say they want the 16MP sensor of the D4 in the D800. What the fuck happened at Nikon? Seriously man, I want to know. I’ve been laughing my ass of on this blog the last few posts, but I do feel concerned for the Nikon morons. Because to be honest, it’s not in our best interest for Nikon to start fucking up now. I mean, if Canon Inc. decides to fuck up again in the near future, and Nikon is also fucking up, then what the hell are we going to switch to? Sony? No thanks, Sony is nowhere near ready to compete in the pro market.

So really, what the hell happened at Nikon? Their own users want a 16MP sensor in the D800! What the fuck got into the heads of Nikon executives to put a 36MP sensor that produces noisy, color banded, color dithered piece of shit images and muddy, compressed, moired, aliased videos?

And don’t think that Nikon doesn’t realize that they fucked up. They know. When the D800 was announced, the D700 was already discontinued.


Nikon-D700-D300s Discontinued

Nikon D700 and D300s are now officially listed as discontinued on Nikon’s website.   The surprise here is the phase out of the D300s, because I have not received any reliable information about a potential replacement.   I believe the D700 will be available for sale for at least few more months after the D800 announcement.   Update: I was told that the Nikon D700 is no longer on display at the Nikon flagship store in Ginza.

And then, as soon as they started to feel the backlash of the 36MP piece of shit producing sensor, they quickly backpedalled and said that the D700 would stay in production as long as there was demand:

Officially, the D800 has not replaced the D700 in Nikon’s range of DSLRs, and Sasagaki said that, so long as there is demand for the D700, Nikon will continue to produce the bodies.   However, he revealed that the D800E and the D4 would not be the only DSLRs that Nikon will launch this year, though he would not be drawn on timing.

Really? If they would fucking continue producing the D700, then why list it as discontinued on their website??? Doesn’t make sense to me. I think after the D800 announcement, they had a lot of complaints from Nikon morons who started complaining about the fucked-up upgrade path from the D700 to the D800 or D4 (LOL!). Nikon then had no choice but to continue to produce the D700, or else risk losing people to the upcoming 5DX.

But they’re going to lose people to the 5DX anyway. Just watch what’s going to happen my friends.

Nikon morons, understandably, are worried sick right now and are becoming increasingly more frustrated and hostile. They’re a frustrated and angry bunch of lunatics. They almost remind me of myself 3 years ago. Just look at the comments in the last 3 posts here on my blog. It’s crazy. People have no respect for others anymore. And you guys know that I’ve had a reputation at Canon for always politely answering emails and comments and really taking my time to do it. But the way these Nikon morons behave on my blog requires me to deal with this problem in a different way. It’s no more Mr. nice Westfall for them. Remember, on my personal blog I can say exactly what I feel and want. You mess with me, I mess with you.

So relax, you fucking morons. Don’t let the truth offend you. Direct your anger towards Nikon executives and you’ll have less chance for your energy to have been wasted.

31 thoughts on “Nikon D800: Shit are happen

  1. You are right.

    World wide nikon users wait a D700s

    Phase one P45 a 39 megapixel medium format cost 25.000 dollars..and it is usable up to 800 iso

    D800 …win again medium format?

    It’s kind of magic…magic..?

  2. Stupidity seems to be progressing and it is very interesting to read comments of morons. Morons hugh???? Yeah right. M O R O N S are most of those comparing the output of a 36 MP 35mm sensor DSLR to a current medium format digital back and expecting the same quality!!!!! You don’t believe me? So you should better read some basics here and here what you will expect from your “”””D800 medium format replacement”””” looooool. Got it?
    Of course I am wrong with my comments and there are brilliant ideas how to extend DOF from F/5.6 on this brilliant D800 sensor to “usable numbers for landscape photography”: FOCUS STACKING!!!! No please, I’am not insane and this is not my idea. Go read on Fred Mirandas forum
    I have a much better idea to have excellent DOF much cheaper and with less hassle: Go and fetch your easel and paint the fucking scenery!!!
    Certainly, a decent amount of resolution is a must. Canons 1Ds Mk III’s resolution is all I need for my work from portraits up to larger format print outs for trade fair displays. Even Ken Rockwell admits that 36 MP are too much
    “I rarely shoot DSLRs except in my studio for macro; the camera you’ll see around my neck every day is my Fuji X100, which handles real-world lighting much better than any other digital camera from anyone. Resolution? I aways shoot my X100 at Medium 3,072 x 2,048 pixel (6MP) resolution.”
    So if I am please with the 1Ds Mk III so much why on heavens earth do I need a new camera then? The answer is simple and obvious: it fucking totally lacks VIDEO capability!!! I know Fake you are not from the video department and have a more traditional view. But all your elderly photographers sholud face the fact that Video gets more and more important in todays economy. Our 2000 employee company will extend video use massively: from new product presentations, user guides, testimonials, videos for job candidates to the new company video. And guess who is it up to do those things as it is too expensive for management to hire the external video company for at least 10000 Dollars every time?!!!! Rrrrrrrrrrrrright the company’s photographer. Sigh!!! Costs… management normally does not know that it takes more than a camera to do good videos.. those fucking light also cost 10000 Dollars to start, microphones (also wireless), external audio recorder, massive tripod,…… fucking expensive. So the fuck stop whining out there when the new 5DX or 5D MkIII costs 3500 US$ it is just a fraction of the costs you spend in the end. Sure I could then buy a video camera as the C300 you say. Right if it was not travelling around with abroad to take pictures and videos were I do not want two huge cams to have with me and so I need a camera that can handle both as my main camera ( second and third cams for different perspectives are the small mirrorless GH2 and NEX-7; fuck Canon do release a small high-quality mirrorless soooooooooooooooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!). What I fear is that Canon only releases a castrated 5DXYZ not to canibalize sales of C300. So they will probably only present us with castrated HDMI output etc etc. Thanky god to magic latern this could change soon:

    So Fake it really bothers me that the new 5D should be announced during the next week but yet no photographer has a fucking invitation (or did they sent Ninjas to keep them shut until NDA????). Will there be only a new flash and lenses presented? Will the 5DX/Mk III be presented in a paper launch as Canon was “backstabbed” by the Nikon fools and also wants to make the same mistake?

    Time will show…

    • No need to fetch easel and paint the fucking scenery Guenther , Canon has just the right product for you, albeit it’ll cost you 500$ more:

      Its a simple paint also, without any unnecessary details or DR, just smears of dull colors so as not to be hard for the eyes of your grandma

      • Thank you for that link. I already had a look at that terrible picture and was shocked! The only usable part is the mud about 3 to 5 meters in fron of the camera. The rest looks like the fotographer put some vaseline on the lens or did something else that resulted in something else landing on the lens… you know what I mean….. Terrible….

  3. I havew a 5Dmk II and upgrading soon to 5D III, im asking myself why you wrote everytime against nikon and no against sony. i ask you because i think nikon is not a threat …cause seems to be in agreement with canon… sony is much a threat with NEX and the new FF coming.. and the sony users too are so much noisy…

    • We’re watching Sony and we’re certainly not underestimating them. But they still have a long way to go in the pro market. I just hope Canon Inc. doesn’t fuck up again in the future and let Sony catch up with 3 years again.

  4. FIfth post about d800?
    I just wonder if you compensating for something.
    Are you trying to convince yourself that canon not screwed up perhaps?
    It won’t work – canon morons doesn’t change. And you know that.

  5. Hahaha. D800 will sell very well and be able to produce beautiful pictures. Maybe some morons on the internet are true when they say the D400 will be a full frame High-ISO beast.
    But even if none of these cameras were here, most people should just take the gear they have and make more images instead of hating the camera makers…

    • You are right with just taking the gear one has. But unfortunately Canon EOS 1Ds MK III laks the video functionality. We just recorded videos today with three hired 7D and it would be very helpful for us if the 5D Mk III would be released soon so I could buy it and did not have to rent 7D. Sure I have a GH2 but then I needed a 500 Dollar adapter to control the aperture of Canon lenses propperly on it. I have a cheap adapter and know that there are also “manual” adapters with diaphragma but the quality of the latter should be not too good. So Canon please release 5D Mk III soon…

  6. Hey Nikon D800 fanboys. You no longer have to buy a D800 due to resolution. There is now a MORE AFFORDABLE device with even MORE RESOLUTION and it even comes with a lens from world famous German brand Zeiss. Nokia just released their PureView 808 smartphone with 41 MP sensor:

    Great isn’t it???!!!

  7. I was wondering how everyone would comment the following pictures from the Nikon D800E:

    The image samples seem much clearer and better than the ones I saw previously. I think this comes down a couple of reasons:
    1) The images were taken from the RAW files (read the details on the site)
    2) The image was made by the D800E (no AA filter)
    3) All ISO 100 shots with good lighting
    4) Photographer knows what he’s doing showing off the good aspects of the camera.
    Anyway… I’d like to hear from you all 🙂

    • Amen to that.
      There’s no doubt that for some situations, it will be the best 35mm DSLR available on the market.
      Sure, it’s not for sports, it’s not for events, it’s not for concerts, it’s probably not for weddings. It also certainly isn’t for people looking at 100% JPEG crops of out-of-focus and underexposed areas.
      Studio and landscape photogs will buy all the D800’s they can find, make huge prints and good money while fakechuckwestfall will keep on laughing his ass off for apparently no reason.

      The 5DIII and 1DX really could kick Nikon’s ass, but it’s too early too tell for sure.
      Because right now, if you want the best resolution, there is the D3X and there will be the D800.
      If you want the best AF, there is the D3S and there will be the D4/D800.
      If you want the best low-light capability, there is the D3S and there will be the D4.

      It’s time for Canon to prove it can build cameras that are the best at something.

  8. 1dx massive shit happen. 35 raw at 12fps BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    Put down 250 euro to reserve one and now this? The free battery sounded nice but it shoots for half as long a D4 now I why. Sorry the truth fucksyou fuckchuck.

  9. Chuck, I saw some shots with the D4. Pretty decent noise performance up to ISO 6400-12800, without noise reduction. I’d love to see that on the 5DIII. In fact, that’s about the only reason I’d buy a 5DIII. Improved autofocus is great, but food and landsscapes don’t move much. So for me, it’s down to resolution or high ISO performance to get me to upgrade.

  10. Pingback: Introducing the Canon 600EX-RT Flash | Fake Chuck Westfall

  11. Is this article supposed to be Lewis Black’s wacky rants on camera gear? I was looking for real camera info and somehow ended up in this dump. I’m supposed to feel CLS is somehow a crappy system all of a sudden? Just because Canon finally responded? And prior to that, Canon sucked and CLS was great? Nice consistency. Someone here even quoted Ken Rockwell as if he’s a valid source on camera resolution topics. I guess I could counter-point and say Ken also said “I preordered my D800, enough said”. Note Ken also preordered a D800E. So, I guess he likes it twice as much as the Canon. I didn’t expect you’d agree.

    I do agree with the Nikon poll – Canon’s low 24 MP + ISO range is more in line with what I want then Nikon’s 36 MP + ISO range. What’s fishy is the Canon 5DM3 samples look very mediocre and there’s less in they way of high ISO samples compared to Nikon. Purposeful omission Canon? I do find it ironic that Canon upped the high ISO, while Nikon added f/8 focusing. Can I focus with the Nikon and take the pic with the Canon? Both morons. When they both finally get it right, call me. My guess is Nikon will panic with the D800’s reception and release a new body this year to ACTUALLY replace the D700. And that camera will be far better than the 5D M3.

    “I might be excited. I’m getting old enough where it’s hard to tell if I am or not sometimes.” Now that was a funny line, Adrian.


  12. Wow, the Nikon fan boys are fucking idiots here. Fake Chuckwesfall was created to continually kick Canon in the balls when they were fucking up a bowl of soup. Read some previous posts you fucking fucktards.

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