Who the fuck needs a Rebel T3i or a Rebel T3?

The entire photo industry collectively yawned yesterday when we announced the new EOS Rebel T3i (EOS 600D) and T3 (EOS 1100D) cameras. Understandable since these cameras offer very little more compared to the older models that they are replacing. Canon Inc. could just as well have skipped these releases and waited till next year when they have some real improvements to add. So the 600D got a swivel screen, big fucking deal. The 60D has a swivel screen, and right now, its price is just about $100 more compared to the 600D. You have to wonder what Canon Inc. was thinking when they decided to go ahead and introduce the 600D at $800. I’m at Canon USA, and trust me, even we don’t fucking have a clue. Those morons in Japan are seriously out of touch with reality and this has been the case for the last 4 years. If you have a 600D costing $800, and a 60D costing close to $900 right now, who the fuck is going to buy the 600D?

I had Tokyo on the line this morning, and on some level I could understand them. The issue they’re dealing with right now is that the Nikon D7000 ruined their plans. The 60D was supposed to sell for $1100, and the 600D would sell for $800 and that would make more sense if you look at the feature and price difference. But in the aftermath of the Nikon D7000 release, the price of the 60D dropped to almost $900. This is understandable since the D7000 offers a ton more compared to the 60D for just $1200. There’s no way Canon Inc. would still be able to sell the 60D for $1100. This completely fucked up our plans. Financially and marketing-wise this is a fucking disaster for us. Sure, Canon Inc. could have changed the plans, but it was already too late. By the time the D7000 got released, the 600D product cycle had progressed too far to make drastic changes so they decided to just go ahead as planned and deal with this shit until the next update. The devastation caused by the D7000 is enormous and it won’t be until the end of 2011 until we will fully see the extent of the damage it has caused.

But I hope those fucking morons in Tokyo have learned their lesson now and have seen that releasing slightly re-heated versions of older products every year is not a strategy that’ll work from now on. If you look around the web, nobody the fuck talks about the 60D, 600D and the 1100D. That’s because they’re fucking boring. There’s nothing new worth talking about. This is the complete opposite of the way Nikon and Sony handle things. When the D7000 got out, everybody raved about it for fucking weeks. I got sick and tired of hearing about how cool the D7000 was. If I had to go through another 2 months of that I swear I’d jump out of my goddamn office window. But that’s because Nikon went out of their way to innovate with the D7000 and surprised everyone with exciting new features, one of which is the great image quality. This is the kind of product that gets people excited and motivates them to buy. You’re not likely to find the D7000 in stock anywhere right now, because everyone wants one. In contrast the 60D is available everywhere and the price only drops because nobody the fuck wants one and the same will be true for the 600D. In fact, we’re going to have to offer rebates on the 60D and 7D in the coming month to sell as much of them as we possibly can during the D7000 stock shortage. A planned $100 rebate for the 60D is going to bring down the price much closer to the $800 introduction price of the 600D making you wonder even more why the 600D exists. This is how bad the situation is for Canon right now.

View a conference call (transcript) I had with Canon Inc. here on YouTube:

There will be no acceptable excuse if the next 5D fails to impress. Canon Inc. has had enough time, and I personally made sure they also received enough feedback  for them not to fuck this one up.

But we also announced some cool new lenses. And when it comes to lenses, everyone has to admit that we fucking rock! A 8-15mm f/4 fisheye zoom lens? Fucking awesome. A 200-400mm f/4 super telephoto zoom with a built-in 1.4x extender? Fucking brilliant! That is the kind of innovative thinking I hope Canon Inc. will carry over to their DSLR body design process because we seriously need it there. The 200-400mm lens is a fucking master piece. After everyone stopped yawning because of the 600D and 1100D, all of their jaws hit a crater in the ground in front of them when we announced the 200-400mm f/4 lens.

Canon EF 200-400mm f/4 lens

The EF 200-400mm f/4L IS USM EXTENDER 1.4x zoom. If this image doesn't instantly give you some serious wood, then not even Viagra can help you.

I’d like to see those hacks at Nikon copy this one. I just know they’re going to add 1.4x extenders to all of their lenses now, maybe even where it doesn’t make sense. I’ve already shown in my previous post how they copy all of our cool products. And what’s fucking hilarious about this is that they copy our strategies completely, the good aspects AND bad aspects. HAHAHA fucking brain-dead wankers. They were so obsessed with copying our Holy Trinity group of primes for example, that in the process they even copied our bad quality control and had their lenses back focus just like ours. You just can’t make this shit up. HAHAHA, what a bunch of fucking idiots. Hey Nikon morons, our lenses back focusing or inconsistently autofocusing is NOT what makes them popular, OK? You guys might want to leave that out. Nikon’s behavior reminds me of the time when I was cheating back in high school and was copying someone else’s answers during exams, the good AND bad answers. Needless to say, the teacher not only knew that I cheated, but he also knew exactly who’s work I copied. At that time it kept me busy for weeks, I kept wondering how the fuck that teacher knew. I even beat up the girl who’s work I copied several times because I blamed her for telling on me. But of course now I know better.

Apart from the 200-400mm f/4 lens we also launched the 500mm f/4L IS II and the 600mm f/4L IS II lenses, both of them beauties. I’ve been playing with prototypes of these lenses since August last year and my wife has been complaining ever since about feeling neglected. If there’s one thing the Japanese engineers at Canon Inc. are good at, it’s designing big sensors and big lenses. I’m not going to repeat myself and make the obvious joke here again, but I do have to say that this reminded me of my good friend Tony:

Telephoto Tony

Me: You trying to compensate for something Tony? Tony: Absolutely! (I'm not making this up)

Canon Inc. are so desperate right now to show that they still matter in this industry that they’re now even starting to announce the development of new products instead of just the actual product launches we’re used to. It started last year in August when the competition was launching all kinds of exciting new products, and all we had to show was the 7D with integrated barcode reader (LMFAO). And let’s face it, when all you’ve got to show is a 7D with integrated barcode reader, you had better bust your ass off searching for any other bits of information that you can also release together with that in order for people to take you seriously. So Canon Inc. had to quickly “announce the development” of the 8-15mm f/4 fisheye lens and the 500 and 600mm lenses about a week after they announced the 7D SV and everyone pointed and laughed at them. Doesn’t matter that those products wouldn’t be available for at least 7 months. And the same is true again for the 200-400mm f/4L IS II lens we announced yesterday. The 600D and 1100D just made everyone yawn so Canon Inc. needed something a lot more exciting to show off. And it worked, people initially yawned but then started paying attention again because of the 200-400mm lens, even though all Canon Inc. can tell us is that the lens will be available “sometime in 2011” and it is essentially vaporware right now. Succesful PR manipulation at its finest. You can be damn sure Nikon is paying attention too, because who knows they might need to copy these PR skills in the future.

Anyway, I’m off to play with my prototype 200-400mm lens now. Let me hear what you think of all of this.

30 thoughts on “Who the fuck needs a Rebel T3i or a Rebel T3?


  1. BTW, I want that 200-400 with built in ‘extender’. With that, I say fuck you to Jimmy Johnson. That ExtendZe crap doesn’t work worth shit.

  2. Reminds me the last time Nikon made “development announcements”. That was when they were years away from a full frame sensor and were trying to peddle half frame “pro” cameras and losing their business to Canon. So in desperation to stop the outflow of life long customers they pre-announced the 12-24, 17-55 and a few other “pro” half frame lenses. You see Chuck, shit are happen everywhere!

    Although announcing development of the 8-15 and then delaying the actual introduction another several months was a nice touch don’t you think?

  3. Pingback: Tweets that mention Who the fuck needs a Rebel T3i or a Rebel T3? « Fake Chuck Westfall -- Topsy.com

  4. Chuck, I yawned when I saw the announcement regarding the new T3i and T3. I am a Canon guy but really disappointed on our bodies. I was planning to switch to Nikon by buying the D7000 but hold off on it thinking the new bodies will be much better than Nikon.

    Goodbye Canon…. Hello Nikon!

      • Goddamn right the next 5D better fuckin’ deliver, and it better do it at the right fuckin’ price point, too. Put another screwed up auto-fuck-us system in a full frame camera and Canon can kiss my ass good-fucking bye!

  5. Even if I am a Canon shooter. I’d still love your comment. incisive and hilarious.
    Keep doing those “good” comment on Nikon, I especially love the cheat story. and Don’t forget how they charge for those defective lens which doing less compare Canon.

  6. Pingback: Karel Donk's Blog » Blog Archive » Sign the 5D Mark III petition to Canon Inc.

  7. Pingback: Breaking News: Vincent Laforet to switch to Nikon? « Fake Chuck Westfall

  8. Canon needs to get rid of the AA filters over their sensors. In my opinion, that is the single-most detraction on the 1Ds and 5D.

  9. First I’ll be serious, then follow with profanity in order to be cool like the rest of you old fat cocksuckers.

    I love Canon products…I’ve never owned Nikon (yet…haha…just joking…maybe in the future?? Nah, it’d be like cutting my dick off and making your Ashton’s wife choke it down!). However last year I purchased a small Sigma camera. Berate me if you must (like I give a fuck what you bunch of tampon sucking wimps think…). Quirks aside, its sensor is brilliant…and achieves color, sharpness, and low noise (within its limited resolution)….FAR THE FUCK BEYOND ANY BAYER FILTER’D SENSOR EVER WILL!! It’s a shame that they let a room full of monkeys design the rest of the camera’s innards.

    Now on to my criticism of this blog posting. I am pleased to see this “future” Canon 200-400 lens. However, to fall all over yourself slamming Nikon for “copying” Canon…in a “blog” about how a 200-400 f/4 lens is “new”, no less??? I mean get the fuck over your dumbass self man!! Integrated extender or not…so what?


    Canon may know how to make (perhaps) better lenses than everyone else (overall anyway), and charge a fair price for them (as opposed to Nikon charging 20% more for the same or less quality…then painting them with black leaded paint so they look even more like turds)…

    …but Canon are damn sure too slow and unimaginative with “innovative” ideas!

    I mean, really Canon? Really??? You couldn’t even make it a 250-450 f/4, or a 180-380 f/3.5?? Somehow 200-400 was the right way to go, even though it’s the exact same as Nikon’s?????? What a load of horseshit! You can bet Nikon “fanbois” aren’t impressed…

    As a side note…I’ve read a review or two regarding the AF on the 1DMk4. If its AF sensors are so huge and “innovative”, why the fuck can’t they work well in low light?? You know, at least try to beat Nikon where they are good (at a supposed -2EV)?? Why not go for -2.5 EV, rather than make something that gets one-upped by the measly “old man’s camera” in low light, the 5DMk2?

    I think the same supervising “engineers” in charge of ideas for AF sensors for the 1Dmk4, are in charge of deciding whatever cheap ass, plastic piece of Rebel xx camel dung to make. The same ones that decided $1100 wasn’t enough to pay for a real camera with a magnesium chassis, that has AF microadjustment. The same ones that couldn’t figure out they were about to be owned like a bitch in an alley by Nikon and their D7000.

    The same ones that Rebel-ized, and cut the balls off the 60D, simply because they didn’t want to cut into 7D sales. For what? To saturate the market with lame ass entry level SLR’s that get matched or beaten by 4/3 and micro 4/3?? I guess they didn’t have the faith in their own 7D from the get-go, that the press did.

    Whine if you must, but I say they need to cut the entry line down to one “Rebel” model, and the 60D. The Rebel could be $350, body only, the 60D could sell for what it’s worth…$500 body only!

    Then undercut the D7000 with the 7D, make it $50 less than the D7000…rather than hundreds more. Then hire some new thinkers to beat Nikon at their own game…before they make anything else new.

    I read it somewhere, maybe here…is Nikon now the new Canon, and vice versa?

    I guess Canon needs to hire some celebrity like Nikon did, to hawk their products in lame ass tv ads. You know, somebody ELSE who likes tripping over wedding cakes…and who married a lady 40 years older than them, who still looks hot, at least in silhouette. They need to add more zeros to their camera names. The Rebel EOS TQis777000000000 IS, with image stabilimotion and global orgasm positioning…the Rebel Dreamliner Signature PQiS, with integrated mobile aps…It takes your pictures for you, while you spend your time doing important stuff like stalking chicks on facebook…with its integrated ap.

    And now for the cussing, because you know, I’m real mature and shit ya’ll. FUCK FUCKA FUCK YOUR MOTHER BLAH BLAH BLAH…in the ass blah blah all night long…say hello to your mom’s new backdoor neighbor!

    Boom Shakalaka

  10. Pingback: We almost switched to Nikon ourselves « Fake Chuck Westfall

  11. When the crap is Canon going to copy Nikon’s 14-24 f/2.8? Am I going to be waiting forever (the 8-15 fisheye IS NOT going to be in my bag anytime soon). Maybe I should just buy Nikon’s 14-24 with an adapter…

  12. Coming soon – Canon announces the tripod foot is extra and $500 more.

    Oooh yeah, can you feel it? Captain COM-POST!

    All they need to do now is add glitter to their soon-to-be-optional L-lens hoods and they would have completed their transmongrification, and I’m not even sure what the hell that means.

  13. Pingback: We almost switched to Nikon ourselves « Fake Chuck Westfall

  14. June 21 – Canon announces another photography breakthrough! In my e-mail this morning … a Canon Online Store exclusive … Rebel T3s in COLORS! Holy crap, I can choose brown. metallic gray and even RED! I am just blown away by this quantum leap forward in … um … well, exterior color technology! And I can buy a designer Jill-E bag to carry it?

    Ironic, though … this arrived at almost the same time as the Adorama ad promoting the new Sigma SD-1 46-megapixel camera with three-layer image processing. There’s that new Sony with the translucent mirror, too … and I keep hearing Nikon’s gonna announce a D4 soon (even as they’re selling shitloads of D7000s).

    But hey, all the other photogs on the sidelines are really gonna envy my red Rebel, huh? Yeahhhhhh, baby! Canon’s STYLIN’ now!

  15. hmmmm so much unneccesary swearing…..what has happened to your ability to express people?? I found this blod almost unreadable and it is difficult to discern diatribe from fact. What a shame.

  16. Steve I agree, gross misunderstanding of product marketing, manufacturing, and sales distribution. But then again it is a blog written by a narcissistic fool barking at canon about how they should spend their money. You can see that his superior intellect has taken him far beyond the ability to write this blog into mass manufacturing, marketing, and multi million dollar business expansion. Honestly I doubt he owns a canon product beyond a point and click so the joke is on me for wasting my time writing this entry.

  17. Your statement that the 60D is boring and no body want’s one is hugely wrong. It’s one of the most successful canon releases and has sold in huge numbers. It’s particually well suited to the enthusiasts that shoots a lot and want fall apart like many of the lower bodies (1XXX and 5XX seris) without costing a lot. The canon 60D thread on “photo on the net” is one of the largest on the site.

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