I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you

Whatever

Whatever

Aaaaaand I’m back. Thanks to everyone who wrote in asking where I was. I appreciate it a lot. I was just so busy with stuff here at the office. As you know, we’ve recently launched the EOS 500D or EOS Rebel T1i or Kiss X3 Digital or whatever the hell you want to call it. I don’t know what marketing is doing in Tokyo, but this is kindof crazy if you ask me. As if we don’t have enough issues with our products, we insist on launching a product with some kind of identity crisis right from the start. Not to mention the confusion it causes for everyone. Can you imagine the following conference call:

Me: Okay is everyone in the call? As you know we’re launching the EOS 500D today and…

Random Coworker 1: uh.. excuse me Chuck, but aren’t we supposed to launch the EOS T1i today?

Me: Yeah that’s what I’m saying…

Random Coworker 1: No you said EOS 500D. So we’re launching 2 camera’s?

Me: No they’re the same product and…

Random Coworker 2: Hold on for a sec… guys, I was just told we’re actually launching the EOS Kiss X3 today.

Random Coworker 1: The what? But I only prepared for the EOS T1i, howcome nobody briefed me on the other 2 camera’s?

Me: They’re all the same for God’s sake!

Random Coworker 1: Like.. the same specs? Or what?

Random Coworker 2: That doesn’t make much sense, Chuck, are you sure this is correct? Why would we launch 3 cameras with exactly the same specs?

Me: I just said they’re all the same camera, aren’t you listening?

Random Coworker 1: Chuck, I have a sample sitting on my desk right here, and I’m pretty sure it says T1i on the label, not 500D. I think you’re talking about something else.

Random Coworker 2: Yeah mine says Kiss X3 in front. So we’re launching 3 cameras then, Chuck? Can you confirm this?

Random Coworker 1:  Yeah, Chuck, can ya?

Random Coworker 2:  Chuck?

Random Coworker 1: I think we lost him.

You’re damn right you lost me. I’d rather punch myself in the face repeatedly than continue this conversation.

As if this is not enough, you have that guy from Digital Camera Resource writing in to complain about the fact that we did not share any information with him in advance, causing him lose traffic to other sites. Well, Jeff, now you know why. Many people here at Canon USA simply didn’t have a clue about what the hell we were about to launch.

And since I’m on the topic, look, I have some influence on the specs of the camera during the design process, but please understand, I’m not the one who came up with the 1080p video mode in 20fps. Really, and stop emailing me about it please, I know it’s stupid, and yes I told the morons in Japan it wasn’t of much use, but I think you know by now those arrogant bastards don’t always listen. At Canon Inc. in Japan  they seem to like HD quality jerky video where everyone moves like they’re some kind of early Cyborg prototype. You could probably slap any electronic rock song from the 80s on those video files and it would look great. Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto! Thank you very much for this wonderful feature.

I also got interviewed by that Shankland guy from CNET. Kept bugging me so I decided to do it just to get him to stop asking me about it. Had to be careful about answering some questions though, especially the ones about the video feature on the 5D Mark II. People still seem to be pissed about the lack of control and functionality in video mode on that camera. It can get pretty serious at times.

For example, some guy named Lee Wilson kept harassing us at Canon USA for weeks about the lack of aperture control in video mode on the 5D Mark II while posting about it on this forum at the same time. You just have to read the whole thread to be able to comprehend how seriously fucked up it got. If you ever needed an example of cyber terrorism, this is it. I mean, look, I love to listen to customer feedback and even to honest complaints, but if you’re going to go all Bin Laden on me and start pissing me off, then I’m going to treat you differently too. And that goes for all of the people in that thread who emailed me. It’s difficult enough for me to maneuver myself through the mess Japan created for us, and not give people reasons to start a class action lawsuit against us, and so if you continue to push me into a corner, then yeah, I’m going to say stuff like “I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you” while I remain in denial. So what if the white papers lead you to believe or expect something? It sure as fuck is not on the camera, so quit whining!

I swear to God, some people just have way too much time on their hands.

I also mention Nikon and Sony in the CNET interview. I sound pretty confident there, but trust me, we’re very afraid. If the next 1D and 60D don’t deliver, we’re going to be fucked. But let me also say that if everything goes as planned for the next 1D, and we don’t screw up, we’re going to have an amazing product on our hands. You think we have autofocus problems now, just wait until you see the next 1D camera. The autofocus module alone is going to make Skynet look like a small pocket calculator in comparison. It’ll have locked focus on the subject even before you realize what you want to focus on. I kid you not, it’ll be that good. Theoretically, ofcourse. I pray to God Japan doesn’t screw this one up again.

Anyway that’s it for now. I need to get back to work.

14 thoughts on “I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you

  1. Glad to read you’re back! … anyway, you should put more pressure on your Japanese hierarchy, because they keep on releasing crap with “15MPixels” stickers on it. 50D, 500D … what’s next ?

    26 years of duty, I really expected you could kick Maeda out of the place !

    Finally… do you know Takayuki SONDA from Canon KK ? Was he axed already?😛
    I mean, he gave an interview here (http://www.focus-numerique.com/news_id-1280.html), where he stated that the 1080p mode of the 500D was total bullshit from the marketing dept, and he also implied that Canon was wishing the other Japanese constructors to cooperate for the duration of the economic crisis. Would Canon be frightened by a fair and strong competition?

  2. Glad to have you back entertaining us with the camera (well okay Canon) world’s version of Dilbert: stories of mismanagement and pointy-haired bosses.

  3. Chuck, your explanation about the lack of aperture control on the 5D Mk II is total BS and you know it. You might fool a few amateurs with this explanation but everyone else is starting to lose all respect for you. I can understand that in your official capacity you have to make use of lies and deception to avoid a class action lawsuit, but I don’t expect to see it on this blog.

    So please just tell us, how did this fuckup happen? Was aperture control originally included? Was it a last minute decision to remove it and you then forgot to update the white paper? Who’s idea was it to cripple the camera even more (beyond what you already did with the outdated AF system)? Please don’t tell me it was Maeda again…

    Oh, and your apology for being insulting, is insulting.

    Barnett

  4. Pingback: I’m sorry to hear that the truth insults you - Fake Chuck Westfall | Photo News Today

  5. Fake Chuck,
    Grad too see you back in the seat. I love the 20fps feature I will now be able to shoot something that looks like the old Birth of a Nation Print with the jumps and all, these Canon engineers are geniuses. Now I bet Nikon can’t top this! I can only with for dust, hair and grain in camera now.

    Who wants that crappy manual control when we amateurs can’t even remember aperture or shutter speed at all, they are looking to help us here I don’t get why anyone doesn’t get the good will of Canon.

  6. 1080p at 20fps is not useless, it’s perfect for shooting your kid’s birthday or a day of vacation with the family, because that’s who the 500d (or t1i or x3, it’s really not hard to figure out, anyone able to use a camera can understand the camera goes by 3 names) is made for: hobbyists. Everyday people who want something just a notch above a point and shoot.

    The 500d is not aimed for “professional” but personnal use, and for that, 20fps is enough (have you ever seen the samples? They look “all right”).

  7. Yea, Chuck! You’re back!!

    Dude, seriously, what’s up with Canon’s naming procedures? I thought Nikon’s was messed up with the D3, D700, D90, D60, and now D5000. But “T1i”??? WTF does that mean? 500D at least makes sense because you can track it’s lineage from the 300D… What’s wrong with naming things so that they makes sense, if only to the five people who pay attention to it?

    BTW, I’ve been waiting for a snarky post about 5D Mk II batteries, and why you can’t find one anywhere unless you want to pay twice the list price for the little buggers. I ordered 3 like three months ago, and they’re still on back order. Give us the real dirt Chuck!

  8. Do you have a Madlibs set up for every time a camera comes out with a different model name in different territories? It’s only confusing to the fake people you’re making the joke to.
    You know, I have a great idea for a post. You should go back to the 70s–shit, even earlier–and make fun of all the manufacturers for having different model names for different markets for… wait for it… THE SAME CAMERA! Even back then! HiLARious! You should throw in a couple of jokes about airline food and women drivers too–that would be fresh!
    I think Canon and Nikon can worry about Sony once Sony makes a quality product all by themselves and not full of OEM shit from other companies. The quality will never be there if they don’t truly own the product.

  9. Pingback: Banding and Pattern Noise - EOS 5D Mark II and EOS 50D « Fake Chuck Westfall

  10. Fake Chuck and Lloyd Chamber you both are really @ssholes. If my $8K D3x can’t outperforms a cheapy 5DII, I am going to kill everybody at Nikon. You two are really insulting we D3x owners. Go back to your own @sshole and fuxk with your own Canon. Don’t ever compare my supreme Nikon with your fuxking Canon.

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