I don’t usually do this, but this comment by Phil Banno is so true it fucking made my day:
I have a 5D mark 3 and my business partner has a D800. It started as a personal preference but the L series canon lenses blast the nikons out the water, so much so my business partner is selling his virtually new D800 to buy a 5D mark 3 (& he’s a Nikon fan). A lot of you rant about high ISO usage but in a church where you aren’t allowed to use flash, the 5D on 5000 ISO with a 70-200mm f2.8 ISM L series 2 has no equal in the D800 arsenal. And the confetti shots with 6fps also beat the D800. Real camera, used by a professionally qualified, 24 year experienced photographer (not you geeky Mega Pixel Amateurs). The Canon is like a pure racing car, designed for power to weight performance with outstanding handling, breaking and aerodynamics against the Nikon, an American muscle car that can go fast in a straight line then end up in a hedge at the first bend or blow up after a short distance. Too much power (Mega Pixels) and no where near as good lenses (tyres and breaks). REAL WORLD, 5D MK3 is the professionals choice, D800 the Amateaur look at me with my massive over kill mega pixel never to be used above a 20″x16″ canvas choice! 5D super fit professional athlete, D800 steroid muscle freek with a small penis and long term health problems. Canon purposely created a perfected version of its 5D range. Nikon went down the gimmick route. Bullshit for bull shitters so it’s simple. If you’re a true pro buy the canon. If you’re a wanna be amateur by the Nikon but be aware, us true professionals will laugh at you for choosing poorly. You either have it or you don’t. And I photograph her majesty the queen to name drop but one of my clients so beat that!!!
Yeah, read it and weep Nikon fanboys. And FYI the D800 autofocus fuckup saga is still ongoing. The D800 truly is the Nikon 1D Mark III.
I’ll be back soon with more updates. Yes, yes, I know, I have been really slacking here but man, things are just so hectic here at Canon USA. I’m sure you’ve noticed all the products we’re launching every month. I have loads of technical documents concerning the new products to wade through right now just so I can keep my Canon Guru title in the future. Not to mention play with….errr….i mean, test, the new products.
Many have been sending me emails and leaving comments asking when I’ll update again to talk about the piece of shit EOS 6D and the Nikon D600 and all the other stuff. Some even get hostile on me like the guy below.
Request 4 Update
Rest assured that I’ll be back very soon with some very in-dept analysis of all recent developments.
Another public service announcement here on the blog today. 9/11 was an inside job. Yes, the WTC towers were brought down in a controlled demolition. Osama had nothing to do with it. Watch the documentaries below and fucking educate yourselves.
FUCK YOU NASA!!! (Think of the dynamic range that would have needed to be captured to be able to expose for both the bright lunar surface and the dark shadow side of the moonlander and make the shadows appear so bright without the use of fill light (and without overexposing the lunar surface).)
Back in 2009 I posted the Apollo XI One Light Photography Workshop where I showed how we’re all being fooled by those motherfucking assholes at NASA. With the death of Neil Armstrong recently, I thought it would be a good idea to bring this to your attention again. The fucking coward died without telling us what he knows. That he knows more about this is evidenced by the remark he made about great ideas that can be discovered and breakthroughs that can be made by those who can remove “one of truth’s protective layers.”
I have absolutely no respect for people like Armstrong. They’re fucking cowards. It’s because of people like him that we’re living in the fucked up world that we live in today. It’s because of the fucking cowards like Armstrong that this blog exists today. Except for Galbraith, all the fucking girliemen in this industry were too afraid to stand up against Canon Inc. You should be ashamed of yourself. All ‘o ya!! Remember this quote: “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.“
Especially if you’re into photography, the documentary below should be interesting, as it discusses many of the issues with the photographs taken on the Apollo “missions.” Like I argued back in 2009, there’s evidence those fuckwads at NASA used fill lights in their photographs.
Also interesting are the following two documentaries:
As the Technical Advisor, or Camera Guru if you prefer, at Canon USA, you know that stupid shit like this is not going to go unnoticed by me. I didn’t become the Technical Advisor around here for nothing. And instead of just showing you what I mean, I decided to do an online photography workshop instead. Workshops are so hot right now, everyone is doing their own, so I thought why not have one myself?
In this case the workshop is more about lighting. Lighting on the moon during the Apollo 11 mission. This is the kind of stuff the Lord of the Speedlights dreams of doing, but can’t, because he’ll probably lose all of his sponsors overnight. Me, I have Canon backing me so I don’t give a flying fuck. Since the astronauts on Apollo 11 didn’t bring any lights of their own, we really only have one light source on the moon: The Sun. So that makes our workshop a One Light workshop, not to be confused with Zack Arias’s One Light Workshop, which doesn’t come even close to what you are about to experience in a moment.
Okay so much for the intro, now let us start by looking at some of the pictures that were taken during the Apollo 11 mission and reverse engineer the light Strobist style:
This is a picture of the moon. It’s important to take note of the fact that the shadows are all pointing in the same direction, and that the shadow areas are pitch black.
Another picture taken by the astronauts shows the extremely dark shadows. Notice how the shadow side of the hills are totally dark. If you’d stand there you wouldn’t see shit in front of you.
Okay now this is the first picture taken by the fucking wankers who call themselves astronauts. In the top picture, notice how the shadow side of the moonlander is lit. Since there’s only one light, the sun, which is coming from the back of the moonlander, the side we’re seeing would be totally dark, just like the shadow side of the hills in the above picture. And yet, that’s not the case. Same with that white thing on the ground. But take a look at the rocks, their shadow sides are totally black. Some will say that the moonlander was lit by the surface of the moon, but why is the surface of the moon able to light the dark shadow side of the moonlander, and not the dark shadow sides of rocks, craters, hills etc.? Below there’s a simulated version of what the picture would have looked like with only the sun as the light source.
Even more bullshit from the motherfuckers who call themselves astronauts. The astronaut is coming out of the moonlander at the shadow side, and yet there ‘s so much light! Now how the hell is that fucking possible? Simple: There had to be more light sources when that picture was taken (red arrows). If you look at the orange structure, clearly there’s light coming from above. Perhaps an Alien craft flying by was giving some assistance? Below is how that picture should have looked like with only the sun as the light source.
Even more horseshit from the overpaid nutcases at Nasa. Again, the astronaut is at the shadow side of the moonlander, and lit like a fucking christmas tree. I wonder how sunlight was able to reach the astronaut behind the moonlander. Below is again the simulated version of what that picture should have looked like.
Notice again how the shadow side of the rocks and hills are completely black. Somehow the shadow side of the moonlander and astronaut are very lit. This shit doesn’t even happen at Disney World.
In this picture the shadows look believable, very dark and shadow side of the astronauts and flag are a lot darker, essentially black. But why does one of the astronauts have a much longer shadow? Also, is the surface of the moon gray or brown? Seems to me like the assholes at Nasa can’t decide.
Apparently sunlight really favored the astronauts and the moonlander during the Apollo 11 mission. Notice how the shadow side of the rock is completely black, and yet the shadow side of the moonlander and astronaut look a lot brighter. And where is the flag’s shadow? The cocksuckers at Nasa must think we’re all stupid.
The fucking astronaut is standing in the goddamn shadow of the fucking moonlander, how in God’s name is he visible, when the sun was supposed to be the only light source? Looks to me like those fucks at Nasa used a little fill light.
This picture is just awesome. If they decide to do some lighting workshops at Nasa, I’ll be the first to sign up. Hell, I don’t even care what it costs, I’ll take a second mortgage if I have to. If you can do this, you’ll never need to use a flash ever again. Compare this to the picture above with the 2 astronauts with much darker shadows. And the surface of the moon looks a lot more brown in the reflection. Hmmm…
All of a sudden the shadow side of the moonlander and astronaut look a lot darker. Looks like they moved some of the fill lights for this shot. Also notice how the solar panel is throwing a very dark shadow on the astronaut’s right foot. A small panel is able to black out part of the astronaut’s foot, and yet, when the astronaut stands in the shadow of the big moonlander in previous pictures, he is totally lit!
And this is truly magnificent. Forget Zack Arias, forget the Lord of the Speedlights, hell, forget McNally. Those guys are nothing compared to what Nasa achieved here using just one light source. It looks like the sunlight went in one direction, then actually made a turn and came back in the frame from a different direction. You would have to use String-theory to explain what’s going on in that picture. To keep it simple, I made a lighting diagram below the picture to show you how I think the lighting was set up in this case. Forgive me for spelling errors, I’m tired.
And that concludes this Apollo 11 One Light workshop. I hope you’ve learned something important from all of this and that this will make you a better photographer.
Even when I’m on a well deserved vacation this God forsaken industry refuses to allow me to get some rest. Here I was trying to relax on the beach on a beautiful sunny day in the Bahamas, quietly sipping some exotic looking drink I can’t remember the name of, when my phone starts going crazy. Facebook, SMS, Email, Whatsapp – fucking everything started giving me notifications while at the same time calls were being diverted from the office as well. Similar to a crazy war veteran, I started getting flashbacks from 2008 when the 1D Mark III debacle was still upon us and started reciting prayers in my mind hoping to God this was not related to issues with the 1DX or 5D Mark III.
The EISA judges said: “The best professional camera of the year is Nikon’s full frame 16-million-pixel D4, for its ability to deliver the highest image quality even in extremely difficult conditions. Tests performed by EISA magazines found the camera has an exceptional combination of high resolution, wide dynamic range, very low noise levels even at ISO 12800, super-fast autofocus, short response time and high frame rates that can be maintained for very long sequences. The body is rugged and well protected against dust and moisture. The viewfinder delivers a sharp, comfortable and very precise view of what will be recorded. Almost perfect handling makes the D4 very easy and pleasant to use and we especially like the new joystick control that’s available whether the camera is in the horizontal or vertical position. The D4 also delivers very high video quality thanks to its uncompressed output.”
This is just pure hogwash. High video quality? BAHAHAHAHA right, with all the softness, moire and aliasing? Looks like the EISA judges aren’t aware of Philip Bloom’s review:
And highest image quality? With the shitty JPEG engine in both the D4 and D800?? Please, don’t make me laugh. Even the 5D Mark III JPEG images look better than the D4 images:
So, what can be taken away from this test? Well, the 5DIII kicks the daylights out of the D4, no doubt about it. The kickers that make the 5DIII even more superior: it has 6Mp more resolution than the D4 and only costs half as much. Talk about getting bang for your buck!
After comparing the sets of images in Lightroom and comparing the two cameras, there wasn’t exactly a clear winner. The Nikon D4 seemed to have cleaner highlights, while the Canon 1Dx appeared to have better contrast and possibly cleaner shadows. In the end, if we have to award a point here and pick a winner, it’s the Nikon D4 – by a hair. Still, the Canon 1Dx still has slightly more pleasing colour and overall image tone.
Not to mention the awful as fuck green screen on both the D4 and D800 that makes everyone, including Ken Rockwell, want to shoot with Canon instead:
Matt is not alone in noticing this issue with the Nikon D4, as a simple internet search will instantly reveal many others complaining of the same green screen issue. Matt has actually called Nikon about the issue and feels that Nikon may have been a bit coy in their response when they claimed that this was the first they have heard of it, and boldly claimed that the D4 has a more actuate screen than its predecessors. Maybe Nikon doesn’t have the internet?
Needless to say, the greenish cast that the Nikon D4 exhibits is enough of an issue to put Matt into a big decision scenario; stay with Nikon or switch to Canon? Though there have been reports and claims of fixes and work-arounds to counter the green screen issue, we found that none have been effective in resolving it. Canon has an incredibly enticing system in the 1DX…is it enough to sway Matt away from his beloved Nikon system after over a decade of professional loyalty?
And super-fast autofocus on the D4? Well, certainly these guys seem to disagree with those fucking EISA idiots:
The previous tests were close to call. This wasn’t. The Canon 1Dx ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED the Nikon D4 in the AF speed test. It was almost three times faster than the Nikon.Where the D4 was yielding an average of just under one image per second, the 1Dx was handily snapping three. Even more telling was the hesitation that the Nikon D4 seemed to display, at times not knowing if it should continue to focus forward, or head back. In contrast, the Canon 1Dx just ripped it to shreds, launching it’s AF like a shotgun, sure and confident, every time.
Matt, who has over a decade of experience with Nikon cameras & lenses was absolutely blown away by the Canon performance here. He echoed himself over and over again for hours afterward, saying “I can’t believe how fast that Canon can drive those lenses…” A clear winner in the Canon 1Dx
No wonder these guys are considering getting the 1DX instead of the D4:
And high resolution? The 1DX wins here with 18MP – 2 MP more than the D4. High frame rates? Again 1DX wins with 14fps compared to 10fps on the D4.
So you tell me: Apart from some obviously huge Nikon cocks, what the bloody fuck are those EISA judges smoking? The 1DX should have been the winner here.
Judges from EISA are seen here testing a Nikon D800 in the field
And then there’s the D800. Oh God, the D800. I’ve spent a number of posts discussing this stinking heap of crap in the past already. First we had those fucking idiots at DxOLabs blatantly misleading everyone with their claims. Now it looks like these morons from EISA also want to join in and continue to mislead the entire fucking industry with the D800, strangely while the press stands by and watches it happen. This is what the fuckwads at EISA would have you believe:
The EISA judges said: “This year’s best camera is the Nikon D800. Its 36-million-pixel full frame sensor offers exceptionally high resolution capture and, according to EISA magazine tests, no compromises have been made to the extent of the camera’s dynamic range or noise levels at high ISO settings. In a compact and reasonably priced, strong and sturdy body, it offers first-rate metering and a 51-point autofocus system developed from the professional D4. The camera has a clear and bright 100% viewfinder that is very precise and comfortable to use even for glasses wearers. The tiny flash can command additional Nikon flash units and delivers just the right amount of fill-in illumination even in complex lighting conditions. The D800E version delivers even higher resolution images without needing any post processing sharpening: the image quality comes close to that of a medium format camera, but with the benefits and versatility of a lightweight 35mm reflex camera.”
No compromises have been made with noise levels at high ISO settings? I beg to differ.
How can it be that the D800 gets a better score for low light high ISO shooting (2853 ISO), while clearly the 5D Mark III has less noise at the high ISO values????? Clearly there’s something seriously wrong here, and DxOMark is misleading everyone with their overall scores. In the noise graph above the 5D Mark III is in the middle, and when it comes to the scores, suddenly the D800 performs better. But even from the sample pictures above, it’s clear that the D800 performs worse at the high ISO values. So how can it get a higher score for low light shooting on DxOMark??
The Canon EOS 5D Mark III is the world’s best digital SLR. It easily lets us create smooth, clean, beautiful and colorful images in any sort of light. It handles much better my cheaper Nikon D800 and D800E; my 5D Mark III handles and sounds smoother, quieter, feels better and makes better-looking images than my Nikon D800E. The 5D Mark III also has the best LCD ever put in a DSLR, while the LCD on my Nikon D800E is smaller in actual use, and most importantly, the Nikon’s LCD isn’t color-accurate. My 5D Mark III LCD is big, bold, bright, sharp, clear, colorful and accurate, and automatically varies its brightness brilliantly for use in any light. (My D800E also has auto LCD brightness control, but doesn’t work well enough to want to use it.)
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To shooters upgrading from the Nikon D800 and D800E, the Mark III is greatly improved over the Mark II, while the Nikon D800 and D800E are a step backwards in ergonomics and LCD quality from the D700. Therefore the status quo has reversed; I used to prefer Nikon, while today with the 5D Mark III, I greatly prefer it to my D800E.Pixels impress amateurs, while guys like me who shoot every day for a living are more impressed at how my 5D Mark III lets me get more of the right pixels faster, not just more of the wrong ones.
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The 5D Mark III is the world’s best DSLR.It’s a huge improvement over the 5D Mark II due to the improvements from automatic color fringe correction, and the greatly improved power, depth-of-field and playback controls. If you shoot Canon, you deserve one of these.
Obviously those fuckwads at the EISA don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Because the movie mode of the D800 is crap as well, with all the noise, aliasing and moire. This can be seen in Philip Bloom’s review above, but here’s another:
But the shitty green screen LCD, the noisy-ass images and the horribly aliased and moired video are the least of your concerns if the universe hates you so much that today you somehow find yourself owning a D800. A bigger concern for you should be the malfunctioning autofocus system on the D800, that as of right now, is shaping up to become the equivalent of the 1D Mark III debacle for Nikon.
So here you have a camera with a 36MP sensor, that’s so fucking overhyped with regards to the resolution that it supposedly produces (which in reality isn’t that much more compared tot he 5D Mark III), but apparently you can’t actually focus accurately to take advantage of the resolution on the sensor. I have to say, this reminds me of the 5D Mark II which had a similar problem. Fortunately Canon Inc. got their act together with the 5D Mark III, but all of you Nikon morons are now fucked with the D800. Similar to the green screen LCD, Nikon apparently refuses to really acknowledge the autofocus problem on the D800. Nikon whore Thom Hogan already had the following to say about it:
The one thing I think Nikon is getting wrong here is this: Nikon knows they messed up and shipped some number of defective cameras. Yet they are defacto forcing the customer not only to detect the problem, but to pay for shipping of the unit back to Nikon for repair. I think the least Nikon could (and should) do is this: for every camera they receive that actually gets fixed by this new recalibration test, Nikon should refund the shipping cost to the customer. If I were in charge, I’d go further than that and try to find some small reward I could include above and beyond that, along with a note of apology.
Yes, that’s costly. But so is a US$3000 camera that doesn’t focus right. Why is the customer the one that gets punished here?
August 7updated (commentary)–Consider this email: “I got the estimate today for my D800 AF repair; it’s listed as a B2 repair and they want to charge me $245 for the repair as I did not include the bill of sale. I called and asked them if there were any D800′s out of warranty and they insisted that it was procedure. I was bucked up to a supervisor who also insisted that I needed to send them a bill of sale.”
Let’s see, the camera has a NikonUSA sticker on it, the serial number starts with 30, the camera has only been out for a couple of months, the camera was registered immediately on purchase on the Nikon site, need I say more? In short, Nikon’s customer support has always been on the poor side, but making customers jump through hoops to service a known problem is just pathetic. Oh, did I mention that the person in question was an NPS member and someone who has taught photography for 30 years? Just how many students do you think he might influence as to camera decisions?
Nikon morons are literally filling up the Internet with their complaints regarding the autofocus issues on the piece of shit D800. Here’s a screenshot taken on Nikon Rumors:
Those Nikon morons really need stupid fucks like DxOLabs and EISA to make them feel better about spending their money on the worthless crap that is the D800.
But after testing today with my D800 and D800E both just back from Nikon, my conclusion remains the same as what I initially showed in my review of the Nikon D800: the D800 /D800E has poor autofocus precision, and that’s with the center focusing sensor, which is the best one (one example). In short, the asymmetry issue is a footnote issue compared to the fundamental problem of poor precision in general.
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In my testing today under the same conditions, the Canon 5D Mark III + 85mm f/1.2L II achieved both high precision and high accuracy, similar to what I found with the Canon 1D X autofocus. If anything, an ƒ/1.2 lens is more of a challenge than an ƒ/1.4. lens.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lloyd, man, just get a 5D Mark III or a 1DX and throw that piece of shit D800 in the river.
My choice(s)? Getting rid of a defective product, not bothering to check the My Nikon website each day for reasonable answers that never come, skipping the robotic conversations full of empathy but no meaningful information, not risking an additional failed attempt by Nikon’s Service Center to fix my D800, not wasting my time taking photos of test charts, and using the camera I already have. The good news? My doctor also tells me that, with time, the phenomenon of seeing Siemens Stars everywhere will eventually subside. And if Nikon will reimburse me $73 for the scenic, but fruitless trip my D800 took to Melville, I suspect I will feel even better.
So once again, my D7000 is glad the D800 has left our home. And this time… so am I.
Here are some quotes from the comments:
Nikon’s stupidity and arrogance are beyond belief!…or are they? As much as I and many respect this site, Thom Hogan, the more sane posters at dpreview, etc., many D800 owners,such as those Thom met in Alaska, have no idea they have a defective camera and a manufacturer whom doesn’t give a damn.
Galbraith is offline, Nikon Reviews is apparently a shill, Kelby is all self-promotion now—who is going to speak up for poorly treated Nikon customers?
It unfortunately seems that there are many cameras Nikon cannot fix with recalibration. If recal was the solution, they would have done it a long time ago. It is a stopgap measure which can improve some cameras, but there must be a major manufacturing/structural error which is so expensive for Nikon to fix or replace, they have decided not to do it. That is why there has been no public statement.
So, if you have a camera they cannot “fix” with recal, Nikon has abandoned you. What can we do about it?
No class action suit unless someone is injured (your response when I suggested this previously)? I’m not an expert or a lawyer.
Nikon needs to pay for this, in more ways than one. What can we do?
Those readers who have suggested we need a kinder, gentler response to those nice Nikon people need not apply.
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After hearing of the mess Nikon has made of this problem and comparing it to my experience with my first Nikon, the D5000, I am seriously considering selling all of my Nikon equipment and moving to Canon.
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I finally got my D800 back from Melville, exactly a month after sending it in due to extremely inconsistent af. I of course had to cover the shipping and insurance costs. I tested it once again and found that it was in much worse condition than before sending it in. Before I sent it in the center point was slightly off and the edges were a complete mess. After receiving it back the edges are slightly better but the rest of it is absolutely horrendous, including the center! The af is so bad that I can even see through the viewfinder that it is not grabbing focus and it goes without saying that the resulting images are completely fuzzed. I am using charts and multiple lenses to test, i.e 24 1.4, 35 1.4, 24-70 2.8 and so forth. I am comparing all my results to lv which is perfect.
Being a full time photographer with multiple Nikon bodies and lenses including the D4, I am somewhat astonished and appalled by the conversations I have had with Nikon and with the treatment I am receiving.
I wish I had returned my body when I had the chance but wrongly trusted Nikon repair to do the right thing. It’s back in a box heading to Melville yet again and my fingers are crossed that I do not get stuck with a $3000 lemon.
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My D800 is back from the second repair attempt. The left focus issue is not resolved. Maybe I can return it back to Amazon after 5 months of use … unbelievable …
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After reading your story and several others in a number of forums I am convinced that I made the right decision when I returned my D800 to the vendor. As much as I like the D800 I cannot bring myself to spend $3k on something with a known defect that Nikon can’t seem to repair.
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My D800 came back from Melville today UNREPAIRED. El Segundo had it for 19 days and couldn’t fix it. Melville received it Tuesday, overnighted it to me last night and it is still not focusing on the left. This issue was escalated to Nikon’s Sr. Management (I spoke to them on the phone yesterday) and they still could not get it right.
Those of you who ended up buying this piece of garbage can try to get sharp images by reading this post of mine.
How to get sharp images with a Nikon D800
What a nightmare for Nikon and all those Nikon morons who bought into the D800 hype. I warned all of you from the very beginning that the D800 was a piece of shit. I warned you, you poor pathetic fools, I warned you. But ya just wouldn’t listen. Some people have emailed me and called me a prophet or psychic, but with my 30 years of experience in this industry, “predicting” this stuff is a piece of cake. I’m not called the Canon Camera Guru for nothing – I fucking earned that title!
So what do those fuckwads from EISA have to say about this??? Does this camera really deserve a camera of the year award? Honestly? As far as I’m concerned, Nikon can go ahead an rebrand the D800 to become the Nikon 1D Mark III. It fucking deserves that title!
Everywhere you look right now, people are impressed with the 1DX and 5D Mark III, especially with regards to the autofocus system. Both of these cameras are using the new 61-point AF system with 41 cross-type points that just kicks incredible amounts of ass in terms of speed and accuracy.
But there’s something seriously wrong in Europe. Nikon appears to have some strong influence on key organizations and publications in Europe. DxOLabs is one, but EISA clearly is also biased towards Nikon. I’ve already sent an email to Mitarai to have this situation thoroughly investigated.
CLEARLY what you can get out of all of the above, is that the Canon 1DX and Canon 5D Mark III are really the best DSLR cameras available today. Everyone who is honest and isn’t biased or influenced by Nikon says this. You simply cannot come to a different conclusion GOD DAMMIT!!!!1
Now all of you stop bothering me and let me enjoy the rest of my vacation.
The EOS 5D Mark III is one sexy piece of equipment.
In my 30 years here at Canon USA I’ve had to make some tough decisions sometimes, but none of them come close to this one. I can’t decide on what’s sexier in the picture above: the ass or the 5D Mark III with 85L. Life can be so complicated sometimes.
This review is going to be a long one as I have a lot of things I want to discuss, but for those of you who want the short version, I can tell you just stop reading and go buy the 5D Mark III. You will not be disappointed. In all honesty I can say that the 5D Mark III is currently the best DSLR on the market, apart from the 1DX. It’s a work of art. I bought two myself. And if you’re wondering about the Nikon D800, I can tell you that the 5D Mark III is a much better choice. I wouldn’t buy the D800 even if it was priced at $2000 and the 5D Mark III was still $3500. That is how good the 5D Mark III is. If you think I’m biased, think about the fact that I have recommended the Nikon D700 in the past instead of the 5D Mark II.
While the 5D Mark III is getting praised everywhere, the Nikon D800 appears to be a very fucked camera. As a commenter remarked recently, two of the biggest Nikon whores are trashing Nikon these days. In my previous post we already saw what Ken Rockwell had to say about the D800 and 5D Mark III:
To shooters upgrading from the Nikon D800 and D800E, the Mark III is greatly improved over the Mark II, while the Nikon D800 and D800E are a step backwards in ergonomics and LCD quality from the D700. Therefore the status quo has reversed; I used to prefer Nikon, while today with the 5D Mark III, I greatly prefer it to my D800E. Pixels impress amateurs, while guys like me who shoot every day for a living are more impressed at how my 5D Mark III lets me get more of the right pixels faster, not just more of the wrong ones.
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The 5D Mark III is the world’s best DSLR.
Now it seems Thom Hogan is also having issues with Nikon:
The one thing I think Nikon is getting wrong here is this: Nikon knows they messed up and shipped some number of defective cameras. Yet they are defacto forcing the customer not only to detect the problem, but to pay for shipping of the unit back to Nikon for repair. I think the least Nikon could (and should) do is this: for every camera they receive that actually gets fixed by this new recalibration test, Nikon should refund the shipping cost to the customer. If I were in charge, I’d go further than that and try to find some small reward I could include above and beyond that, along with a note of apology.
Yes, that’s costly. But so is a US$3000 camera that doesn’t focus right. Why is the customer the one that gets punished here?
Remember how I wondered if Nikon was becoming the new Canon? Man, how the mighty have fallen. I would have expected this kind of crap from Canon Inc. months ago, but not from Nikon. A word of advice to all of you Nikon morons: Stop kissing Nikon’s ass and start fucking complaining. Because if you don’t, you’re only going to get a lot more fucked. I hope all of you learned some valuable lessons watching me pull all the hair off of my head (yes, that’s what happened) in the last 5 years in order to get Canon Inc. back on track. This after loads of ass kissing in previous years almost cost us our lead in this industry. Do NOT let it get that far with Nikon. It’s all up to you.
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The 58% of you who don’t like all the megapixels on the D800 had better fucking let yourself be heard, or else you’ll be fucked, and you’ll only have yourself to blame for it.
While Nikon is busy pulling off all the above crap, Canon Inc. appears to have become a new company, going so far as to release a new firmware upgrade for a 3-year old camera, the EOS 7D, that almost makes it a brand new camera:
Since its introduction, the Canon EOS 7D has become one of the most popular APS-C EOS DSLRs among serious photographers and semi-professionals. Now, Canon is giving the EOS 7D an exciting upgrade with new Firmware Version 2.0.X! With Firmware Version 2.0.X, the EOS 7D gains a multitude of feature enhancements for higher performance befitting the flagship APS-C EOS. These improvements include a higher maximum burst rate (130* for JPEG Large/Fine and 25* RAW images) for continuous shooting, definable maximum limit for ISO Auto, compatibility with the GPS Receiver GP-E2, and manual audio level adjustment. Additional upgrades also include faster scrolling of magnified images, quick control during playback, in-camera RAW image processing, JPEG image resizing and ratings, plus customization of file names and time zone settings. These significant enhancements are a sure-fire way to make an amazing camera even better than ever before!
I can still remember when Canon Inc. released the barcode scanner with the 7D and I gave them hell here on the blog. How times have changed. How times have changed.
To be honest, I do feel sorry for you Nikon morons. I’m laughing my ass off, but deep down inside I feel your pain even as I laugh. And because of that I want to help you guys out with a few tips on how to get the most out of the piece of shit D800. You’re stuck with that stupid hunk of garbage for at least 3 to 4 years now, so you might as well learn how to get decent results out of it. First let’s take a look at how you can get sharp images with the D800:
How to get sharp images with a Nikon D800
The diagram above shows you how you should use the D800 and get sharp images. The key thing here is to make sure that the D800 doesn’t move even a micrometer. As you can see you need to be on rock solid ground first. I recommend a steel reinforced concrete floor that is a least 2 meters thick. You then position your heavy duty tripod on top of that and make sure it is bolted to the concrete floor. For extra stability, stack as many tripods on top of eachother as you like until they can support a combined load of at least 100 KG. Sandbag the shit out of the tripods to make sure everything stays stable. Then put the D800 on top of that. Now remember, you don’t want to touch the D800 at all. Use a WIRELESS remote trigger to take your shots. Not wired, because that could cause the camera to receive small vibrations through the cable which is going to motion blur your pictures to hell. Also very very important is to make sure you shoot on a windstill day. The windspeed should not be higher than 3 knots or else it will cause micro camera shake and your pictures will look like you used a shutter speed of 30 seconds while traveling at 100mph through rough terrain. And last, but most importantly: pray. Say a prayer each time before you take a shot. If you’re an atheist you need to become religious, hell, very religious, if you want this to work. If you’re a Christian, ask Jesus for extra stability during these rough times. If you’re a muslim, talk to Allah. If you’re a Hindu, make sure Shri Krishna hears you before taking the shot.
Finally, I wish you good luck using the D800. May the force be with you.
I just got back from a short photowalk around town with my pre-production Canon mirrorless camera and I have to say it’s a nice little camera. I think most people will love it. What kinda sucks about it is the sensor. It’s not bad but it can’t go up against the latest Sony sensors in their mirrorless cameras. Japan really needs to do something about this in the very near future or else Sony is going to kill us with their dynamic range and low noise. All the pattern noise and banding shit has got to become a thing of the past.
The 5D Mark III, which is the world’s best DSLR right now regardless of what those fucking idiots at DxO Labs say, still has that pattern and banding crap, although you have to mess with the exposure in post for it to become an issue. But there’s none of that on the Sony sensors, and so Canon Inc. needs to improve. If Sony can do it, so can we.
Yeah.
This might not be surprising to you, but people are still emailing me and telling me how wrong I am about the piece of shit D800. I have to say, the feeling I have right now has got to be similar to the feeling John Harrington had when he was practically the only one complaining about the massive amounts of noise on the Nikon D200 and D2x. The noise issue on the D200 was legendary. Even Nikon was ignoring him. Yet, after a few years suddenly everyone’s like “oh yeah of course, there was an issue with excessive noise, everyone knows that?!” Mark my words, after some time has passed and the fucking fanboys quiet down, everyone is going to see the D800 for the inferior camera that it is. And then everyone is going to realize how stupid the DxO Mark tests really are. Down sampling to 8MP for comparisons? Why don’t you guys down sample all your images to 100×100 pixels instead? Today most people view only thumbnails anyway. Just fucking down sample everything to 100×100 pixels and do your tests. That way even my crappy Blackberry phone can look like it rivals the 5D Mark III.
Wait jest wan bombaclad minute, mon! Dees nuh look irie ta me!?
The biggest joke is that they claim that the D800 is better than the 5D Mark III in low light. You can’t even begin to imagine how many facepalms the above image is worth. If the D800 is so great, then why is Ken Rockwell shooting with the 5D Mark III instead?
The Canon EOS 5D Mark III is the world’s best digital SLR. It easily lets us create smooth, clean, beautiful and colorful images in any sort of light. It handles much better my cheaper Nikon D800 and D800E; my 5D Mark III handles and sounds smoother, quieter, feels better and makes better-looking images than my Nikon D800E.
The 5D Mark III also has the best LCD ever put in a DSLR, while the LCD on my Nikon D800E is smaller in actual use, and most importantly, the Nikon’s LCD isn’t color-accurate. My 5D Mark III LCD is big, bold, bright, sharp, clear, colorful and accurate, and automatically varies its brightness brilliantly for use in any light. (My D800E also has auto LCD brightness control, but doesn’t work well enough to want to use it.)
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To shooters upgrading from the Nikon D800 and D800E, the Mark III is greatly improved over the Mark II, while the Nikon D800 and D800E are a step backwards in ergonomics and LCD quality from the D700. Therefore the status quo has reversed; I used to prefer Nikon, while today with the 5D Mark III, I greatly prefer it to my D800E. Pixels impress amateurs, while guys like me who shoot every day for a living are more impressed at how my 5D Mark III lets me get more of the right pixels faster, not just more of the wrong ones.
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The 5D Mark III is the world’s best DSLR.
It’s a huge improvement over the 5D Mark II due to the improvements from automatic color fringe correction, and the greatly improved power, depth-of-field and playback controls.
All those extra pixels on the D800 are worth jack shit when they also contain more noise. The camera is also slower at just 4fps and the autofocus system just can’t compete with the 5D Mark III. The D800 might perform OK if you have to do an assignment at a retirement home shooting old people moving around in their wheelchairs. And I’ve been told that even then you may need to shoot from a heavy duty industrial grade tripod to get sharp images. But for anything more serious, you’ll want the 5D Mark III. Plus the extra resolution on the D800 is marginal at best. We’ve reached a point where more resolution on the 35mm sensor isn’t giving us any significant return. Best to keep the resolution at a decent level in the 24MP range and instead focus on speed, accuracy and image quality (sharpness, low noise, dynamic range, chromatic aberration correction etc. etc.). Those are the things that really matter. Capturing the right pixels faster, instead of a lot more crap slower.
And with the 5D Mark III, Canon Inc. did well in that area. Yes, yes, it could be better, and we’re going to work on it. What will be much hotter in the near future instead of senseless megapixels, are features based on computational photography. The new HDR feature on the 5D Mark III should be seen in this light. Instead of worthless extra data (megapixels) let’s improve the quality of the data we do have and do some meaningful stuff with it.
Joe McNally (left) and a random Sock Puppet, separated at birth?
I was told Japan actually put in the HDR feature to get Joe McNally to switch to Canon faster. Most people aren’t aware of this but we’ve been in talks with McNally for well over 3 years now to make the switch. Negotiations have been tough, to say the least, and one of McNally’s demands was to get him an in-camera HDR feature because it’s an absolutely essential feature to him (each of his shots is combined from at least 7-8 exposures), and Nikon just doesn’t want to deliver. Combined with our new Speedlite system (600EX-RT and ST-E3-RT) based on radio frequency technology, I’m expecting McNally to become a Canon Explorer of Light within a few months. And I hope he takes his friend with him. You may want to check out his latest performance on The Grid with Scott Kelby. Whenever those 2 guys get together they crack me up.
Anyway, I’m late for my meditation session with the swami. I’ll be back soon with more. In the mean time, get a 5D Mark III and do some real photography.
I heard about exploding Nikon D800s before but I never knew it was as bad as this report by CNN’s Anderson Cooper shows it to be. Seems like Nikon is doing good business in the middle east these days. Not only that, but according to our Swedisch correspondent Kai Reinertsen, the FAA has put the Nikon D800 on the list of prohibited items to take on board airplanes. Needless to say, shit are happen at Nikon.
I took a break from posting on the blog after the last post in order to calm down, rest and put my mind on other things for a while. Those cocksmokers at DxO Labs really got to me. I know for a fact that if I didn’t take some time out I’d probably not be alive today. I started taking meditation classes shortly after that last post to help me calm down, and I must say it has really helped me. Swami Rajesh Ramchandrati really knows his stuff. I met the swami at a bar in New York shortly after publishing my last post, and he convinced me to start taking meditation classes the next day. He’s quite an interesting fellow too. When he told me about his earlier life in New Delhi in between shots of vodka, it somehow reminded me of the time I served in ‘Nam. I felt like we had a lot in common.
Swami Rajesh Ramchandrati and me a couple of days ago. The swami was actually floating in mid air right next to me, though you can’t clearly see it in this picture.
Turns out I’ve had a lot of repressed anger and fear inside of me for all these years, which when you think about it makes so much fucking sense. Suddenly I could explain so much of my behaviour in the past. When cocksmokers like DxO Labs show up, all of this repressed anger surfaces and I just can’t control it. So I told the swami about DxO Labs and the D800 and everything that was bothering me that night, and crazily enough, as soon as I mentioned DxO Labs the swami’s whole body started shuddering and he briefly went into some kind of trance. When he snapped out of it a few seconds later, he explained to me that he felt some strong negative energy from DxO Labs. So I was all like “No shit!” Then he put his right hand on my head and closed his eyes and everything around me started moving as if I was looking at the world through some kind of jelly. Then I started seeing funky colors and got dizzy. I’m not sure if this was because of the swami or the fact that I had way too much vodka that night, but I decided that I had enough and that it was time to head home. Only problem was I could barely walk by myself. Fortunately the swami was there with his taxicab and offered me a free ride home.
But I can’t tell you enough how relaxing all this meditation really is. My mind feels so light and clear these days and I’ve even been able to deal with those DxO Labs cocksmokers without losing my sanity. And that’s great because it helped me to focus on the coming product launches in the next few weeks.
Anyway, I should be going now if I don’t want to be late for my meditation session with the swami. I’ll be back.
And if Nikon will reimburse me $73 for the scenic, but fruitless trip my D800 took to Melville, I suspect I will feel even better.
