Canon 5D Mark III VS Nikon D800 Image Quality – DXOMark Sucks Balls

Piece of Shit

Nikon Piece of Shit

I’m beginning to have some serious doubts about the future development of the intelligence of our species these days. Seriously. I thought we were making progress but boy was I wrong. Seems like people are getting dumber by the day, especially the Nikon morons. I thought it was pretty clear from my last post that the image quality of the Nikon D800 was fucking awful compared to the 5D Mark III. And not just for stills, but also for movies. The one argument people keep throwing at me every time is that you should down sample the D800 images to the size of the 5D Mark III images to do a fair image quality comparison. It’s fucking pointless to have to down sample images to compare image quality, since the higher megapixel images have more resolution for a reason – people expect to make bigger prints that will still look sharp. But you’d be surprised by the sheer number of fucking morons who don’t seem to get it.

Just to entertain them, I had already done a comparison between the D800 and the 1DX where I had down sampled the D800 images to 18MP in order to “make it a fair comparison” according to the Nikon fuckwads. And the result? The 1DX still kicked the D800’s ass!!!

Now, let’s take a look at the D800E images downsampled to 22MP and compare them to the 22MP images from the 5D Mark III. I chose the D800E because images from the D800E are slightly sharper compared to those from the D800. So I’m even giving the piece of shit D800 an advantage  here.

For this comparison I’m going to use JPEG images from The Imaging Resource. You can find these samples by visiting their Comparometer. We’re going to look at the image below:

Sample from The Imaging Resource

Sample from The Imaging Resource

Remember that for this comparison the D800E images are down sampled to 22MP to match the 5D Mark III.

5D Mark III VS D800

Check out the noise on the D800 image. And why is the 5D Mark III image sharper? Where’s the goddamn fucking resolution on the D800 everyone’s talking about???

5D Mark III VS D800

Check out the noise on the D800 image.

5D Mark III VS D800

Check out the noise on the D800 image.

5D Mark III VS D800

Why is the 5D Mark III image sharper? Where’s the goddamn fucking resolution on the D800 everyone’s talking about???

See that??? Not only is there more noise present on the FUCKING DOWN SAMPLED D800 image, but the 5D Mark III image even seems to be sharper with more detail in some areas!!! All the detail on the D800 gets fucking blurred by the noise reduction, and even then there’s still a lot of noise present in the end! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

What a fucking joke, Jesus Fucking Christ. God dammit. What a goddamn fucking joke. And what you’ve just seen happens at all ISO values. Remember that this is an image from the D800E, it’s as sharp as it gets for the D800! So you tell me: Is this fucking marginal increase in resolution worth all the extra noise you’re seeing in the images above????? Is it worth the fucking huge diskspace eating files??? Is it worth the slow frame rate??


But think of this, how in God’s name did those cocksucking morons at DxOMark reach the conclusion that the D800 is better at high ISO compared to the 5D Mark III?????? HOW GOD DAMMIT??? HOOOWWWWW?????

DxOMark sucks balls

Weht jest wan bombaclad minute here, mon! Dees nuh look irie tuh me!?

Dem people ah DxOMark ah fuckan eediats!! A wha kinda fuckery da?!?!

But seriously, the sight of these results on DxOMark instantly had me cursing like Joe McNally.  Just WHAT THE FUCK is going on here? It should be fucking obvious to anyone that the 5D Mark III image quality is better compared to the D800. How the fuck does DxOMark end up with results showing better low light performance for the D800?!?!?!?!?! Especially when their own fucking noise graph shows otherwise??????????

5D Mark III lower noise

5D Mark III has less noise compared to the D800

Not to mention that even on DPReview the RAW image comparisons show the same shit.

D800 sucks balls

D800 sucks balls

And the thing is, this fucking worthless bullshit data from DxOMark is making its way into other comparison websites like Snapsort, and thousands of users are being misled and misinformed right now!!!!


Snapsort uses the fucking bullcrap data from DxOMark

And where’s the press for fuck’s sake???? I only saw Dan Havlik from PDN briefly mention this on Twitter a while back. The press had better start questioning DxOMark about this fucking mess.

Honestly, if I was a heart patient I would have fucking died by now. In fact my blood pressure hasn’t been this high since the great 1D Mark III debacle of 2008. If it’s not fucking Canon Inc. that’s pissing me off, it’s the goddamn fucking morons in this God forsaken industry.

I’m going to get fucking wasted now. Any more of this and I’ll end up in fucking intensive care tonight.


UPDATE: If you’re considering buying a D800, READ THIS FIRST!!!


5D Mark III Selling like Hotcakes while Nikon Fanboys Attack

Nikon Fanboys Attack

Nikon Fanboys swarmed the blog, again

See the graph above? The last time this happened was when I posted about how fucked the Nikon D800 is. This latest spike in traffic is in response to my post yesterday about DxOMark sucking balls, and more specifically how the 5D Mark III trashes the D800.

It would seem as if the average IQ in the Nikon camp is at an all time low these days. The comments leave a lot to be desired. Then there’s the emails accusing me of all kinds of crap. Do you people honestly think I love bashing the D800? I don’t give a fuck about the D800. This is not about the D800. It’s about letting Canon Inc. know our users are not going to love the megapixel shit that’s currently going on at Nikon. Tokyo had better recognize we’re going to go fucking batshit insane on their ass if they go down the D800 route. It’s more than clear what the drawbacks are of so many megapixels. It’s fucking pointless. If I had anything to say about it, the sensor in the 5D Mark III would have been the same 18MP sensor from the 1DX and we’d have even cleaner image quality on the 5D Mark III.

I just updated the DxOMark blog post with yet another video showing why people love the 5D Mark III and choose that instead of the piece of shit D800:

Listen carefully to this guy’s conclusion and why he went with the 5D Mark III. It’s all about low noise and better image quality. And as I have shown yesterday, the 5D Mark III is way better in this area than the D800. Sure, the D800 has better dynamic range at low ISO, but it’s too bad that the extra megapixels make all the dynamic range worthless in the end. Plus it’s a goddamn tragedy that Nikon can’t seem to nail something as basic as the correct white balance in 2012. This was also quite apparent in the review done by The Camera Store.

So I’m not surprised one bit that the 5D Mark III’s are selling like hotcakes right now. Just check the sequence of tweets below (screenshot taken moments ago), within a matter of minutes all stock at B&H was gone.

5D Mark III selling like hotcakes

5D Mark III selling like hotcakes

Plus, you might also like to read this tweet:

According to a major retailer, the 5D Mark III has outsold the D800 25 to 1. I guess that’s all that matters in the end. :)

Get that?? 25 to fucking 1. Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Recogniiiiize!

5D Mark III, D800, D4 – DXOMark Sucks Balls

I just got off of the phone with Mitarai. We had a lengthy discussion about the imaging division at Canon and the way we’re heading right now with EOS. We also discussed some of the more recent issues and the need for better quality control. Things are looking very good for the future right now at Canon especially now that he took over again from Uchida.

It’s been very hectic around here recently and I just couldn’t find enough time to update the blog. There was NAB and the whole launch of the EOS C500 and 1DC cameras and a lot of other stuff going on behind the scenes. Plus the press was all over me for weeks. Everyone wanted a piece of the “legendary” Chuck Westfall. I felt like a Hollywood celebrity. And it’s fun, I have to admit, but it can really wear you down. I’ve felt exhausted for weeks. Fortunately I’ve had some time to rest and as you can see I’m back on the blog to address some really burning issues.

First let me get the NAB interview issues out of the way. Here’s an interview Engadget did with me:

I was fucking pissed off when I saw the interview on their website later that day. Those guys seriously need to get some lessons in how to properly do video interviews. First of all, only my mouth is constantly in the frame. If you’re going to interview someone as important as me, at least make sure my face is fully visible in the goddamn frame. Secondly, the sound is fucking horrible. This is so disappointing for such a big website like Engadget. I’ve seen small bloggers do videos with better sound! Very disappointing production values from Engadget.

Dan Chung from DPreview did a much better job interviewing me here:

Framing was good, audio much better, but I almost punched him in the face when he kept repeating how expensive the 1DC is to him. He said it once, what’s the fucking point of repeating it constantly? What the hell did he expect me to say? If you don’t have the money, simply don’t buy it for fuck’s sake! It’s not like Canon Inc. is begging or forcing you to buy it, okay? Just fucking get a 60D or something. Or a Digital Rebel. Anything! But don’t annoy me by constantly whining about the price of the 1DC while recording it! I’m warning you – and this goes to all of you in the press – if you want to get punched in the face the next time you interview me, just repeat Dan Chung’s performance in this video!

Mitch from Planet5D did a much, much better interview with me. You can really tell I enjoyed talking to Mitch during this interview.

And then there was this interview with Scott Bourne from Photofocus.

Scott made me feel really important and powerful, legendary even, and I especially loved the intro. Thanks Scott, looking forward to seeing you again!

Now, on to a more important issue. Those fucking ganja smoking Europeans at DxO Labs are at it again. While everyone expected the 5D Mark III to score at least as good as, and possibly even better, than the Nikon D800 and Nikon D4, it scored far lower on DXOMark. Just look at this sad picture:

DXOMark Sucks Balls

I’ve said it before 3 years ago, and I’m not going to repeat myself:

Go ahead and believe those morons at DxO Labs if you want to. Who are you going to believe? A bunch of ganja smoking Europeans who don’t have anything to do and slapped up a website with some “data” to kill some time, or your own eyes? And get this, according to them the Nikon D90 has a better sensor compared to the Canon EOS 5D? Daat’s riiight, mon! When you ees high, ewrytheeng ees possybal!

Honestly, can the 5D Mark III score so much lower than the piece of shit D800? We’ve already established and discussed to death on this blog the fact that the D800 is a piece of shit camera:

But since a lot of people apparently seem to go through life completely brain-dead, let’s fucking take a look at it again.

First of all, even DXOMark shows that the 5D Mark III has lower noise compared to the D800.

5D Mark III lower noise

5D Mark III has less noise compared to the D800

From the graph you would think that the difference in noise performance between the 5D Mark III and the D800 isn’t that big. But once you look at some sample images, you see how big the difference is. The noise on the D800 is fucking terrible. Here’s a comparison of RAW images on DPReview:

D800 sucks balls

D800 sucks balls

That’s just nasty. It’s even slightly worse than the 7D. And this is at ISO 3200 but essentially this is a problem at all ISO values. And don’t forget the color dithering and image banding which we had already discussed in a previous post:

Nikon D800 VS the Canon EOS 1DX Image Quality


And in JPEG mode the 5D Mark III is sharper than both the D800 and even the D4. Where the fuck is all the supposedly extra resolution on the D800?

D800 sucks balls

Soft and muddy piece of shit image quality of the D800

The comparison above is from DPReview, at ISO 6400. But at all ISO values the 5D Mark III images are sharper in JPEG mode. Apparently both the D800 and D4 have some kind of shitty JPEG processing engine. We had already seen that the 5D Mark III has better image quality than the D4.

Here’s a comparison from Cameralabs that clearly shows the cleaner and sharper images from the 5D Mark III in JPEG mode:

5D Mark III VS D800


The noise on the D800 is so bad, that even in Live View it becomes an issue when trying to focus in low light situations:

D800 Live View Sucks Balls

D800 Live View Sucks Balls BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!1

To be fair, the sensor in the D800 is better when it comes to dynamic range at low ISO values:

DXO Mark Sucks


But what’s the use of more dynamic range when there’s also more noise, color dithering and banding and when the JPEG images are fucking soft? The amount of detail you can get out of the shadows is pretty impressive at ISO 100 on the D800, but at higher ISO values the noise is going to become a problem. And as you can see, above ISO 800 the 5D Mark III actually takes over with better dynamic range. Combined with the lower noise, the 5D Mark III is definitely the better camera for low light shooting (think events, weddings, concerts etc. etc.).

And with the superior AF system on the 5D Mark III even in low light, and the higher frame rate, the 5D Mark III is a definite winner. The review below clearly shows the difference between the AF systems of the 5D Mark III and D800.

There’s also the review of the 5D Mark III by Kay from DigitalRev that caught my attention. I think everyone else should take this review as an example. In general I think all camera review videos should contain more young pretty asian girls. Especially if it’s a review of a Canon camera. Please do take notes.

Those of you who know me personally know that I have a thing for asian women. Hell, I’ve been married to one for years now.

Asian Girl

Holy hell

There’s just something about asian women that drives me crazy. They look so.. exotic. I’ve never been able to quite put my finger on it. But anyway, you’ll note that the 5D Mark III easily locked focus on the subject in the review. Although I must admit that this was not a particularly challenging situation for the AF system. I know for a fact that I would have easily locked focus on the subject myself, had I been there. Ahem.

Photographer Ryan Brenizer riverdanced his way through a wedding recently with the 5D Mark III and raved about the AF system on the camera being better than even the D3s.

Has Canon finally fixed the autofocus in the 5D line? In a word? Abso-freaking-lutely. The autofocus is accurate, fast, and a pleasure to use — in some ways moreso than the Nikon D3s. I immediately turned off all sensors except the extra-sensitive cross-type sensors — and still had 41 left! Combined with the joystick, I never have to play the focus and recompose game very much unless I want my point of focus to be at the very edge of the frame. And even then I can get it close enough to not compromise the accuracy of my focal plane, which can matter when you’re shooting with a lens like the 50mm f/1.2L

Not surprising given that the AF system on the 5D Mark III is the same one from the 1DX. The only significant issue Brenizer had was with the lower dynamic range in the images from the 5D Mark III, but only when significantly pushing the exposure in post.

Sir Philip Bloom of London did an excellent review of the video capabilities of the 5D Mark III, check it out below.

Bloom recently also compared the video capabilities of the 5D Mark III to the D800 and D4, and the 5D Mark III is the clear winner as far as I’m concerned. The only issue Bloom had with the 5D Mark III is the soft video out of the camera, but which can be sharpened to become quite excellent in post. Compare that to the “too damn soft” video on the D4 which remains crap even in post and the fucking horrible aliasing and moire on the D800 with lots of noise at higher ISO values that you’ll never be able to fix in post even if Jesus himself was assisting you. Here’s what Bloom had to say about the D800:

It does have some downsides to it. I was very very scared when I heard about the really high megapixel count of 36 megapixels. It’s absolutely insane! I don’t need that for stills and I certainly don’t want it for video. And the low light performance does suffer because of that.

Again, up yours DxO Labs!!!!

The winner, also for video: 5D Mark III!

However, the best part of the above comparision by Bloom is really the absolutely lovely Diana:

The lovely Diana

Yeah that’s right, get her drunk Philip!

When Diana appeared on screen I lost all interest in what Bloom was talking about. I believe he said something about the noise on the cameras but I can’t be sure. The audio just got completely blurred out in my mind. All I cared about was Diana. I immediately fell in love. She is so cute it hurts to watch this whole comparison sequence. I’ll be forever grateful to anyone who can send me her email address and a link to her Facebook profile. Who cares about the noise performance of any goddamn DSLR when Diana is on screen? Honestly? Even with the horrible noise on the D800 Diana still looks absolutely gorgeous! And when you watch this sequence, pay attention to how Bloom gets her to drink bottle after bottle of beer. You’ll even see her on screen going “Drink again now?”, no doubt responding to Bloom’s frequent requests to keep taking another sip. Nice going there Philip, this is a really great way to get a girl drunk. Bastard. You shagged her didn’t you? Don’t fucking lie to me, man! You got her drunk, declared the shoot a wrap and brought her to your hotel room, didn’t you!? You lucky bastard.

Seeing as how the D800 performs worse compared to the 5D Mark III when image quality is concerned, both for stills AND video (noise, softness), you tell me how the fuck those cock sucking morons at DxO Labs ended up with such a high score for the D800 sensor? Someone please tell me, because for the life of me, I’ll never be able to figure it out. Nikon probably paid a load of money to DxO Labs and possibly signed some long term advertising contracts and sponsorship deals to be able to position the D800 and D4 so high above the 5D Mark III. No other explanation makes sense.

When reviewing all the information above about both the 5D Mark III and the D800, it should be quite clear to anyone that the 5D Mark III wins. Overall it is the best camera to have for both stills and video and the image quality is clearly superior in both cases.


DxO Labs can take their fucking worthless sensor database and cram it up their ass!

UPDATE 14 May 2012:

I just saw this comparison video of the 5D Mark III and the D800. Pay attention to the conclusion, especially you Nikon morans! Check it out:

See why that guy chose the 5D Mark III instead? Because of the great fucking image quality! Nikon can’t even handle something as basic as white balance correctly for Christ’s sake. And the aliasing and moire are fucking horrible. Plus the 5D Mark III’s AF is better.

Introducing the Canon 600EX-RT Flash

Canon 600EX-RT Flash and Canon ST-E3-RT Trigger

Nikon got fucking owned.

Aaaw yeah baby, aaw yeah! As if the 5D Mark III wasn’t enough, even our ancient flash system got a huge upgrade. RF BASED WIRELESS FUNCTIONALITY BABY!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!! How long have we been waiting for this?? Man I’m fucking ecstatic. Last night I partied so hard I can’t remember anymore what happened. I woke up this morning on the ground next to a car in the parking lot here at Canon HQ with a huge headache. I could barely get myself up. I don’t know how the fuck I got there, but I think I must have been so drunk I couldn’t find my way home. My shirt was completely unbuttoned and I couldn’t find my pants. That must have been one crazy party last night.

But we deserved to party like this, and after a long time I can say that I enjoyed every second of it. EOS is shaking up this entire industry like never before. Right now we’ve got the best, fucking state of the art, flash system out there. For years I’ve had to listen to people telling me how Nikon was ahead in this area and how we sucked and blah blah blah. And look at it now, god dammit!!!!!!! LOOK AT IT!!!!!!!! The 600EX-RT and ST-E3-RT are fucking beautiful! Now you can control all flashes right from the back of your camera. All of them!!!!! It wasn’t so long ago when I complained about this and let Canon Inc. know what we wanted:

Canon ST-E2 Ass-Rape VS Cactus V4

Canon ST-E2 Ass-Rape VS Cactus V4

I don’t know what the fuck is taking those bastards in Japan so long, but if they finally release an update it had better fucking blow everything away. I’m talking RF based wireless flash triggers, a new pro speedlite with built-in RF wireless flash capabilities, full TTL and High Speed Sync support, Master/Slave functionality, 100m working range, and best of all, remote control of the speedlites from the back of the camera. I want all my fucking speedlites to show up on my camera LCD just like wireless access points show up on my computer, and I want to fucking add them to my own private network of flashes under my control, each with their own custom ID (so I know which is which). And then I want to be able to fucking select each one of them and be able to change their goddamn settings right on my fucking camera even if I’m 100 meters away! THAT is what I would consider true innovation. Not the fucking horseshit we’ve been seeing in the last few years.

I’m sounding like a broken record these days, but Canon Inc. fucking listened to us again! For a review of the 600EX-RT and ST-E3-RT check out Pixsylated. He was able to fire his 600EX-RT from 100 meters away, although Canon Inc. lists a working range of 30 meters.

I predict that The Lord of the Speedlights, Mc Nally and Van Niekerk are going to be switching to Canon in the very near future just to be able to use all the good stuff. Even Kelby won’t be able to resist! Kelby had to wait years for true wireless functionality and full HD video on his D3/D4, and now he’ll have to wait more years for built-in RF functionality in the crappy Nikon flash system. Guys, don’t wait too long. Join the EOS club and take your photography to the next level!

Especially seeing as how shit are happen at Nikon with the shitty image quality on the Nikon D800. I mentioned this before, but don’t be surprised when people look at your 36MP photos taken with a D800 and ask you what phone you used to make them. And the way things look right now, the D800 is going to have to go up against some fierce competition from the 41MP Nokia 808 Pure View Phone.

As if that isn’t enough, we now also find out that Nikon used footage from the 5D2 in their D800 promo video:

For said launch on March 7th, they produced this impressive demonstration video, which highlights the D800’s strengths as a filmmaking tool:

Looks awesome, doesn’t it? Makes the D800 look like it excels at shooting sports and time lapse videos of cityscapes and exotic locations, right? Makes it seem like the D800 is a vital tool to have in your filmmaker production kit, right? Makes you want a D800 no matter the price, right?

Seems Nikon is not only using Canon EOS-5D Mark II-captured video from TSO’s film ‘The Mountain’ to sell their new camera, but they never asked his permission and are, therefore and perhaps more disgracefully, violating his copyright.

Here’s a screenshot where the photographer complains about Nikon using his footage:



BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! When I saw this I laughed for at least 15 minutes non-stop. I started laughing behind my desk, fell on the ground, got up while slamming my fists on the ground and the walls. Then I stumbled out of my office still bursting with laughter, while everyone stared at me, and I fell on the ground in the hallway again. I crawled to the elevator, which for some reason went down to the lobby and as soon as the doors opened I fell out of it into the lobby, still laughing my ass off. And if you can still remember, I didn’t have any pants on since this morning because I couldn’t find them. So imagine how bizarre I must have looked to everyone in the building while I crawled and rolled around laughing my ass off in the lobby until security guards got to me. BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! But man, this is just fucking awesome. What an EPIC fail for Nikon, my God, MY GOD!!! EPIC!!!!

And it’s not just the fact that they used 5D2 footage to sell the D800, but they fucking used it without asking!! BAHAHAHAHA, I guess the poor saps didn’t have a choice did they? I mean, how do you go about asking a photographer to use his video, shot with a 5D2, for a promo movie for the D800? I’d pay 50 bucks to watch that conversation take place because I think it would have been fucking hilarious.

Nikon’s timing with this couldn’t have been better for us. We fucking shook this industry last night and now Nikon makes a complete ass out of themselves with the D800, which by the way sucked balls to begin with. No wonder they chose to use footage from the 5D2. The muddy, compressed, moired, aliased videos the D800 produces just weren’t good enough to promote the camera, it seems. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Jesus Christ, I’m going to get a heart attack if I keep laughing like this.

What a disgrace. Oh God… just unbelievable! If I was a Nikon photographer, I would switch to Canon just because of feeling ashamed to be using Nikon equipment after this debacle. I just wouldn’t be able to look people in the eyes anymore while holding a Nikon camera in my hands.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!! Oh God, I need a drink. It’s going to be one hell of a weekend!

Nikon D800: Shit are happen

Nikon D800 Poll


I think we’ve gotten to a point now where it’s reasonable to say that the Nikon D800 is pretty much fucked. It’s not even available yet and no sane photographer wants one.

The poll in the image above was done by Nikonrumors. You can see it by clicking here, just so you can check that I haven’t doctored this image. I think it’s safe to assume that the majority of people reading Nikonrumors are Nikon morons. And the results show how badly fucked Nikon is going to be in the near future. Almost 60% of the Nikon morons say they want the 16MP sensor of the D4 in the D800. What the fuck happened at Nikon? Seriously man, I want to know. I’ve been laughing my ass of on this blog the last few posts, but I do feel concerned for the Nikon morons. Because to be honest, it’s not in our best interest for Nikon to start fucking up now. I mean, if Canon Inc. decides to fuck up again in the near future, and Nikon is also fucking up, then what the hell are we going to switch to? Sony? No thanks, Sony is nowhere near ready to compete in the pro market.

So really, what the hell happened at Nikon? Their own users want a 16MP sensor in the D800! What the fuck got into the heads of Nikon executives to put a 36MP sensor that produces noisy, color banded, color dithered piece of shit images and muddy, compressed, moired, aliased videos?

And don’t think that Nikon doesn’t realize that they fucked up. They know. When the D800 was announced, the D700 was already discontinued.


Nikon-D700-D300s Discontinued

Nikon D700 and D300s are now officially listed as discontinued on Nikon’s website.   The surprise here is the phase out of the D300s, because I have not received any reliable information about a potential replacement.   I believe the D700 will be available for sale for at least few more months after the D800 announcement.   Update: I was told that the Nikon D700 is no longer on display at the Nikon flagship store in Ginza.

And then, as soon as they started to feel the backlash of the 36MP piece of shit producing sensor, they quickly backpedalled and said that the D700 would stay in production as long as there was demand:

Officially, the D800 has not replaced the D700 in Nikon’s range of DSLRs, and Sasagaki said that, so long as there is demand for the D700, Nikon will continue to produce the bodies.   However, he revealed that the D800E and the D4 would not be the only DSLRs that Nikon will launch this year, though he would not be drawn on timing.

Really? If they would fucking continue producing the D700, then why list it as discontinued on their website??? Doesn’t make sense to me. I think after the D800 announcement, they had a lot of complaints from Nikon morons who started complaining about the fucked-up upgrade path from the D700 to the D800 or D4 (LOL!). Nikon then had no choice but to continue to produce the D700, or else risk losing people to the upcoming 5DX.

But they’re going to lose people to the 5DX anyway. Just watch what’s going to happen my friends.

Nikon morons, understandably, are worried sick right now and are becoming increasingly more frustrated and hostile. They’re a frustrated and angry bunch of lunatics. They almost remind me of myself 3 years ago. Just look at the comments in the last 3 posts here on my blog. It’s crazy. People have no respect for others anymore. And you guys know that I’ve had a reputation at Canon for always politely answering emails and comments and really taking my time to do it. But the way these Nikon morons behave on my blog requires me to deal with this problem in a different way. It’s no more Mr. nice Westfall for them. Remember, on my personal blog I can say exactly what I feel and want. You mess with me, I mess with you.

So relax, you fucking morons. Don’t let the truth offend you. Direct your anger towards Nikon executives and you’ll have less chance for your energy to have been wasted.


Nikon D800 - Less than meets the eye

Nikon D800 - Less than meets the eye

BAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I just keep laughing these days man, seriously. Whenever I read about the Nikon D800, I start laughing like I’m going crazy. And what’s even more funny are the Nikon morons who’re leaving behind comments here on my blog about the D800. You morons are going to have to face the facts very soon. The image quality on the D800 sucks balls. And not only for stills, but also for video. I hope you saw this article at EOSHD:

moire – at least on the internally recorded 1080p – is not nice on the Nikon D800 and not a great improvement on the way the 3 year old 5D Mark II samples video

the internal codec on the Nikon D800 is quite muddy, and I don’t like the harsh edges around highlights or the overall softness to wide shots (see below)

The internal codec is quite basic and at a low bitrate of 24Mbit, far less than on the 5D Mark II especially with Magic Lantern. The image is not actually that much better resolved than the 5D Mark II (it seems from initial videos). In terms of aliasing and moire it is the same old story.

But still it is disappointing that the D800 is stuck in the dark ages when it comes to this issue. The old GH1 still performs better than the Nikon D800 in terms of having less moire. Expeed 3 in the Nikon J1 has the same aliasing issues as the D800 and that costs just $399 so do I expect Nikon to fix stuff like this on a $2999 camera (let alone on the $5999 D4?). YES unequivocally and it is a scandal they haven’t.

I keep saying it, and I’ll continue to say it, and I’ll fucking say it again now: We’re going to fucking own the D800 with the 5DX.

I’m telling you, Canon is on a roll now. Didn’t I mention how sharp the 24-70 is in my previous post when all of you were complaining about IS?? There’s more to image quality than just IS. This lens is so fucking sharp you’ll cut yourself editting images. Check out what Dan Carr had to say about it:

Firstly for a zoom lens wide open at f2.8 this is SHARP!!  Secondly there appears to be essentially no chromatic aberration even in the high contrast black on bright white areas.  This was the same on all the images that I took and clearly this is something they have worked very hard to eliminate with this lens.   Despite its high price I expect that this lens will be in huge demand once it’s launched.  I’d advise getting in line with a pre-order at one of the following vendors.

This is from his site:

Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II Sample

Aaaaw yeah

Do you believe me now? Who the fuck needs IS if you can get sharp images like this, without chromatic aberration while shooting hand held?

And this is nothing yet my friends. We’ve got even more planned for this year. I predict that once we reach the end of 2012, a lot of photographers are going to be switching (back) to Canon.

And speaking of switching to Canon, my good pal Tony Dunn has just released a new ebook where he recounts his years of struggle with unknown sub standard camera brands, only to finally end up with the brand all serious pros use, namely Canon.

Ten Years Ago Today

Ten Years Ago Today. Life before Canon.

Tony has been like a brother to me. Ever since I started this blog, he’s always been here supporting me, making fun of me, honestly telling me how stupid I am, etc. etc. We all need someone like Tony in our lives. I’m very glad that after being lost in the wilderness for 10 years, he was finally able to see the light and join the Canon club of professionals.

Telephoto Tony

Me: You trying to compensate for something Tony? Tony: Absolutely! (I'm not making this up)

You can see some sample pages from his book on his blog. I asked him a review copy so I could let you all know how much it sucks, but he told me to go buy it like everyone else. So since I haven’t read the whole book yet, I can’t honestly recommend it to you, though the sample pages looked interesting. And certainly the fact that he switched to Canon in the end says something about the validity and quality of his experiences in those 10 years. But for all I know, apart from the sample pages I’ve seen on his site, the rest of the ebook could be blank pages. Perhaps even containing a virus like that ebook by Kirk Tuck about LED lighting which I wrote about before. So be cautious.

Spinlight 360

Spinlight 360

And since I seem to be on a promotional tour here I might as well mention the new Spinlight 360 flash modifier, which is based on the black foamie thing by photographer Neil van Niekerk.

Video link.

In my honest opinion, this is one of the best flash modifiers you can buy if you’re doing event photography (including weddings), couples and models. The results you get will look like they were shot using available light, or a softbox, instead of the typical flash look. And with a name like Van Niekerk standing behind it, you know you can’t go wrong with this. I mean, that’s a cool-ass name, right? Van Niekerk. When I first heard the name I thought it was a character from Star Wars or something. Darth Niekerk. That sounds absolutely bad-ass. Or like the movie Van Helsing, but only this time it’s Van Niekerk.

Van Niekerk

Van Niekerk - In theaters soon.

Personally, I think that would have been a better promotional video for the Spinlight 360 instead of the boring video with a model above. Don’t get me wrong, I like when Neil does videos with his model Anelisa. I dream of Anelisa and I’m in love with her. She’s the best. I would like to marry her some day if I’m lucky enough. Neil knows this. But I just think that Neil using the Spinlight 360 to fight vampires Van Helsing-style would make the Spinlight 360s fly off of the shelves. And I’m sure most of you can agree with me on this.

Anyway, I should be going back to work now. Lots of preparations before the 5DX launch. Stay tuned for more.

The Nikon D800 is fucked

Man, what a week, what a week. I haven’t partied so hard in quite a while. I assume most of you noticed I wasn’t exactly what you’d call sober when I did the last two posts about the D800. I’m telling you, the champagne was flowing here at Canon USA. At the end of the night I was practically peeing champagne. Some of you have asked for me not to post when I’m drunk, and I’ve decided I owe you at least one post where I’m reasonably sober.


Nikon morons put a heavy load on the blog

As you can see from the graph above, Nikon morons swarmed the servers when news about the shitty image quality of the D800 got out. That was an FCW exclusive as far as I’m concerned. This kind of stuff usually only happens when The Lord of the Speedlights links to your website.

I’m happy to see that amidst the crowd of Nikon morons, there are actually still people who are willing to be honest to themselves and not fool themselves about the absolutely god-awful color banded, color dithered, noisy piece of shit images from the D800. Comments like these give me hope for the future of mankind:

Congrats to Canon USA! You fucktards somehow convinced Nikon Inc that video is more important than stills. Now all of us Nikon users have no real upgrade path. These cameras that Nikon came out with HAD, HAD. to have been engineered by an ex-Canon engineer. Wonderful. Thanks Canon.

And this:

Chuck, all sarcasm aside, this post is very funny! And more than that, you’re bloody right.  I’m a D700 shooter, I’ve spent lots of my hard-earned cash on nice Nikkor glass, and now I’m fucked. All I wanted was good HD video, better ISO performance, keep 8fps, and dual card slots. Don’t know about anyone else, but I’ll be shagged if I’ve got $6000 dollars to spend on a D4. It’s a complete frigging cock-up.


I’m in the same boat, Andyj. I just hope my D700 doesn’t flake out anytime soon — it still takes great, sharp images with that nice Nikkor glass. My “upgrade path” is going to be to a used D3s whenever they start hitting Craigslist at reasonable prices (that is, not the $4000+ the go for on ebay) as people move up to the D4.

And this:

Hi Fake Chuck   Just wanted to express my dismay at how idiotic some of the respondents to this post are.   What’s up with all the dorks calling you a “canon fanboy” like that’s some sort of mortal insult? They need to go back to school and learn some proper vocabulary.   “OMGGGZZZ CANON FANBOY!!!!!!!1111oneoneoneone” – they need to get a life and learn some english.

Keep up the good work and telling it like it is!

You get the idea. But in general, the comments section of the previous posts make for some interesting, but not exactly light, reading. We’ve got Al Qaeda fighters all the way from Afghanistan commenting in there, it’s nuts.

I promised to look at the high ISO samples of the D800, which Nikon didn’t include on their own website BTW, for very obvious reasons. I’ll be comparing this Nikon D800 image with this Canon 1DX image, both at ISO 800. Just take a look at this:

Nikon D800 VS Canon 1DX High ISO Sample Comparison


Click on the image to open it in actual size. These are 100% crops. Just look at the noise in the D800 image. That’s just nasty. And this is apart from the color banding and color dithering artifacts which I had already discussed previously. Now some of you Nikon morons are going to be quick to mention how this comparison isn’t fair and how the D800 image should be downsampled to the 18MP size of the 1DX. And according to those morons, the D800 image quality will actually be comparable to the 1DX in that case. Quite why one would buy a 36MP camera only to resize the images to 18MP for better image quality is beyond me. That sounds like Nikon moron logic to me. But let’s check it out:

Nikon D800 VS Canon 1DX High ISO Sample Comparison


Nope. Doesn’t look comparable to me. The D800 image at 18MP still looks fucking awful compared to the 1DX image. And in fact, even the 1DX image upsampled to 36MP looks much better compared to the piece of shit D800 image:

Nikon D800 VS Canon 1DX High ISO Sample Comparison


Like I said before, I’m willing to bet my left nut that an upsampled 1DX image will look much better compared to a D800 image at 36MP. The 1DX image will look cleaner and in fact, if you try to make the D800 image look similar, you’ll be losing some of the detail that you claim to have captured along with the noise. Not to mention the fact that the D800 image has far less dynamic range compared to the 1DX, and also suffers from color banding and dithering artifacts which you’ll have to clean in post. And the thing is, the D800 has this shit even at ISO 100!! Me, I’d rather have clean images from the 1DX with the extra dynamic range to play with.

Nikon D800 VS Canon 1DX High ISO Sample Comparison

Oh god...

Just look at the 100% crop of an ISO 6400 image from the D800 above. That’s some pretty nasty chroma noise. This is the worst kind of noise you can have in your images. I haven’t seen this shit since the late 1990s when the first digital cameras were coming out.

But I do have a confession to make. And one of the commenters in a previous post almost got it right. Nikon was set up by Canon. Maeda is fucking brilliant!! Remember the conference call I had with Maeda, where we discussed the D800 and the 5D Mark III? Maeda kept insisting that they would continue adding megapixels on the 5D Mark III, no matter the image quality issues, and Nikon would not be able to compete. As it turns out, he wasn’t serious. This was just to get Nikon to fuck up and have them release a D800 with insane amount of megapixels and shitty image quality. If you don’t believe me, just listen to the conference call below.

I never thought I’d say this, but Maeda is a fucking genius!!

The Nikon D800: Less than meets the eye

Nikon D800 - Less than meets the eye

Nikon D800 - Less than meets the eye

Let me first begin by apologizing to all the people who have switched to the Nikon D700 in the last few years because of my recommendations. Really, honestly, I sincerely apologize. I truly feel bad about this, because you guys are fucked now.

WHAT was Nikon thinking?? Jesus Christ. What kind of an upgrade is this? Is this really supposed to be an upgrade to the D700?? It’s gotta be, because apparently the D700 is now discontinued. Was Nikon even paying attention to what I was writing about on my blog and all the complaints we were getting here at Canon about the megapixels? Did they fucking consult with The Lord of Speedlights about this? Didn’t Nikon get the megapixel memo??

You know, just because you CAN doesn’t always mean that you SHOULD. Nikon had the opportunity to include this 37MP Sony sensor in the D800, and they did, but this is the worst decision they could have taken.

I feel for you Nikon morons who are now going to have to suddenly deal with 37MP files, up from 12MP on the D700. Imagine what that will do to your workflow having to deal with 37MP of bloated files. Processing power, RAM and especially storage are going to take a serious hit. And I’ve seen the files, they’re softer than a baby’s butt. Where the fuck is all the detail??? My God. And the noise, oh god, the noise.

Nikon D800 sample image

Say hello to the melted eyebrow - Nikon D800 sample image 100% crop

Say hello to the melted eyebrow! That is some incredible detail right there, wouldn’t you say? I mean, you can see every individual hair in the eyebrow down to each individual cell in each hair! This is what 37MP is for right? This is absolutely stunning resolution! This image reminds me of the melted hay image on the EOS 7D from a while back. But this is far worse than that. At least we were still able to see some individual strands of hay in the melted heap. This is one big mushy blob of eyebrow hair. Does that even look like hair to you?

Nikon D800 sample

Nikon D800 sample (ISO 100, 100% crop)

Look at the color banding and the noise in the shadows in this ISO 100 (!!!!!) image. Awesome isn’t it? And to think that this is a JPEG with noise reduction applied. How bad was it before that??

Nikon D800 sample

Nikon D800 sample (ISO 320, 100% crop)

Why does this ISO 320 image look like it was shot at ISO 3200?? How bad was this before the noise reduction??

And you’ll be able to get all this stunning 37MP of fine detail at an incredible, blazingly fast, photon freezing 4 FPS in FX mode (6 FPS in DX mode with Battery pack!)!!Really?? 4 FPS?????? 




Down from 8 FPS in FX mode on the D700. Oh. My. God. So if you were used to the 8 FPS on your D700 you’re going to really, seriously, have to slow down now. Not only are you slowing down in the field, but because of the fucking bloated, razor sharp, 37MP files you’re slowing down in post too. Oh God, what happened at Nikon? Jesus Christ, I can’t believe this. FUCK!

I’m laughing my ass off and crying at the same time. Laughing because we’re going to fucking own this piece of shit camera in a few days, but crying because I feel so sorry, oh so sorry for all you Nikon morons and especially those who switched from Canon to the D700. Oh God I’m so sorry.

How do you “upgrade” from the D700 to this?? It’s a fucking downgrade! Does Nikon expect the D700 ($2700) crowd to upgrade to the D4 ($6000)??? HAHAHAHA you Nikon morons are SO fucked. The only upgrades I can think of on the D800 are the new autofocus system and the video capabilities. But with this noisy sensor, don’t expect a lot from the image quality and noise. But hey, you’ll have a headphone jack! So maybe it’s not so bad after all right???


Excuse me now while I uncork a bottle of champagne and join the party here in the cafeteria at Canon USA.

Update: Image quality comparison between the D800 and 1DX.

The Empire Strikes Back

Man I’m so tired. The last couple of months have just been soo hectic. There’s so much exciting stuff going on here at Canon, and I  have to tell you I’m starting to really enjoy my work again. Many of you loyal readers will undoubtedly still remember how depressed I was during most of 2009 and 2010. I even developed a drinking problem and started doing drugs. I got hospitalized a couple of times, got into rehab, and really put my family through hell.

But starting in early 2011 things began to change. It seemed like all the feedback we’ve been giving Japan in the previous years started to bring some positive change. Many of you wrote in to ask why I wasn’t updating the blog back then. Well the answer is that 1) I was busy and 2) I honestly had nothing to write about. Especially point 2 is going to be a huge problem from now on. Seeing how Canon Inc. were doing their best to listen to the feedback we were giving them during the development of the 1DX and other new models, I just couldn’t continue to give them hell on my blog like I used to. It just wouldn’t be fair. I wanted to write about the positive developments, but obviously I can’t discuss unannounced camera models here on my blog, and also, I didn’t want to get too optimistic too soon. I’ve done that in the past and got burned. It seemed like Canon Inc. were listening, but you never really know until the official announcement is made and everything is pretty much set in stone. So all I could do at the time was make cryptic remarks about exciting times coming to EOS.

When the 1DX was finally announced last year, it was a very emotional moment for me. All the hard work and all the effort we put into making Canon Inc. realize what we wanted paid off in the end. And it’s not just me, but it’s all of you. All the photographers who weren’t afraid and told Canon what they wanted, what sucked, what needed improvement, all of you who supported this blog and left comments with your experiences, all of that helped. Japan took notice.

After the press release for the 1DX went out, I went into my office with tears in my eyes, sat down behind my desk and just cried for 15 minutes. It felt really good, I felt happy. Adachi came into my office moments later and hugged me, and it was clear to both of us that we were heading for a much brighter future with Canon.

Just a few months after that we announced the C300 and I was just ecstatic. The entire industry shook on top of its foundations when the C300 and 1D C were announced. Of course we also had Vincent Laforet, eternal peace and blessings be upon him, with a great new video to show off the C300 too. It was awesome.

Vincent Laforet, peace be with Him

Vincent Laforet, peace be with Him, got his hair done by a professional hair stylist before the C300 launch. Thanks to Philip Bloom for bringing this to our attention.

Philip Bloom has a review of the C300 on Vimeo:

It was immediately clear to everyone that Canon was making a major come back. And we’re going to fucking trash everything out there in the coming months. Remember when I wrote this:

Nikon’s apparent decision to start fucking up really is coming at a bad time. Because here at Canon Inc. we’ve had a couple of months now, okay years actually, to regroup our efforts, and shit are going to happen for Nikon, that much I can tell you. Ever since the release of the D3 Nikon has given us blow after blow, and we haven’t been quite able to answer back. I mentioned in a previous post how the release of the D7000 was like the attack on Pearl Harbor to us, taking out both our 60D and 7D at the  same time – a rather serious offence. And if you saw the movie “Pearl Harbor”, you can maybe remember the scene with the Japanese general after they attacked Pearl Harbor, when he mentioned that “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.” He might also have said “Gentlemen, we have just kicked a rabid dog.” Nikon has either awoken a sleeping giant, or they have kicked a rabid dog, but either way, all I know is that we’re going to fucking own them! Make no mistake about it, Canon Inc. is at war. This is no time for Nikon to be screwing around. Trust me on this.

Well my friends, the sleeping giant has awoken. Not only are we going to fucking own Nikon and Sony, but even RED got owned. RED’s timing to start fucking up with the announcement of the Scarlet-X was pretty terrible. I laughed my ass off when Jannard couldn’t even properly announce the Scarlet-X. This is what happens when a bunch of amateurs think they can go up against Canon Inc. The Scarlet-X was announced 3 years ago for about $3000, has been fucking vaporware ever since, and now all of a sudden you’ll have to pay $14000 for a complete Scarlet-X, and get this >>> if you can actually buy one. Good luck with that. If you get one, I’m sure you’ll appreciate the quality of their forever in beta software too LMAO. But seriously, the C300 has the best image quality and overall features. And remember, the C300 is basically a version 1.0 product and a pretty incredible one at that. The shit is really going to hit the fan for RED when the C300 Mark II hits the market in the future. Not to mention the 1D C.

You absolutely, most certainly, fucking can - Canon

You absolutely, most certainly, fucking can - Canon

And Nikon? LMFAO. Nikon can’t possibly hope to compete. The entire EOS ecosystem is fucking unparalleled in this industry. Make no mistake about it, the sleeping giant is awake. What you guys have witnessed in the last few months is the empire striking back in a very big way.

Remember when I said the following:

Everyone has been busy praising Nikon and Sony in the last few months, either for their outstanding sensors or their recent innovations. But it seems that everyone ignores the fact that Nikon and Sony have only now gotten to a point with their sensors where Canon Inc. had been over 3 years ago! The image quality on the D7000 and the Sony A580 have just recently caught up with the image quality we had 3 years ago on our 40D! The image quality on the D700 that everyone is raving about, existed almost 3 years earlier on the original EOS 5D. Yeah that’s right, fucking recognize! It took Nikon and Sony 3 years to catch up. Imagine where we are now. Yeah sure, we fucked up with our latest sensors, I’ll give you that, but this doesn’t mean we didn’t innovate. We still have our 3 year lead, I promise you, and you’re going to find out about it soon! Y’all better prepare for penetration!

Nikon, Sony and RED had better start stocking up on personal lube.

But don’t take my word for it, you can already see what’s happening with the G1X. Check out what DXO Mark had to say about the G1X, it fucking slaughtered the competition!

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

The G1X even fucking owns the Nikon 1!!!

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

The Powershot G1X Fucking Rocks

You can see why DXO Mark would call the Powershot G1X the best compact camera ever made. The way it completely trashes the other competing models is just ridiculous. In fact, I’m surprised this is even legal.

It wasn’t so long ago when Nikon was the one on top in DXO Mark benchmarks. In fact, Nikon has been consistently on top in the last 3-4 years:

I know what you’re saying right now, yes I’ve gotten the emails, “but Chuck, these people at DXOMark are saying the Nikon sensors are all better compared to Canon sensors in the same category.” Go ahead and believe those morons at DxO Labs if you want to. Who are you going to believe? A bunch of ganja smoking Europeans who don’t have anything to do and slapped up a website with some “data” to kill some time, or your own eyes? And get this, according to them the Nikon D90 has a better sensor compared to the Canon EOS 5D? Daat’s riiight, mon! When you ees high, ewrytheeng ees possybal!

As you can see I wasn’t quite happy with the results from DxO Labs back then, but obviously now that Canon is ahead in the benchmarks, this no doubt means that their data got a lot more accurate over the years. This shows improvement, and I like that.

But there’s one downside to all of this.

With all of these very positive developments, Canon Inc. is taking the wind out of my sails here on this blog. If they don’t fuck up anymore, what the hell am I going to write about? I may even have to start thinking about shutting down this blog.

Because trust me, you’ve seen nothing yet. The last few releases have just been the tip of the iceberg. There’s a lot more coming to EOS in the following months. Obviously we’ve got the 5DX coming soon, but there’s still more in the pipeline. Our ancient flash system is screaming for a replacement. We’ve got some absolutely killer new lenses coming up. Moses recently wrote about the 8-15mm f/4L Fisheye lens, which those morons at PDN thought wasn’t that great. But we’ve got the 200-400 f/4L 1.4x coming up as well, which is at least as fucking awesome and innovative as the 8-15mm fisheye. If that lens doesn’t win the PDN Gear of the Year award there’s no hope left anymore for anyone at PDN.

So what do you guys think? Personally, I think it’s time for a good cup of cappuccino.

Photographers Gone Wild

I decided to take a short break from playing with my 5DX to write about some crazy photographers that caught my attention last week. Man, we’ve got some seriously crazy people running around in this industry. Take Scott Kelby for example. He went absolutely wild when Nikon let him shoot the D4 for a few hours. I thought Chase Jarvis was hyper, but clearly I had seen nothing yet. Kelby was all over the place. Take a look at the video below:

Kelby went absolutely nuts for some of the features of the D4. I gotta say, I’m happy for the guy, but couldn’t someone tell Kelby that Canon had the wireless tethering functionality with built-in webserver ever since, what, the 1950s or something? All this time Kelby was missing out on some really cool shit. We’ve had that functionality on the 1D Mark III and every 1D after that. All you Nikon morons had to wait at least 5 years for technology we were taking for granted here at Canon. And yes, for a couple of those 5 years Canon photographers mainly used the built-in webserver to transfer out of focus images, I’ll grant you that, but think of the convenience of shooting completely wireless. When you see what Kelby had to use before the D4, you’ll immediately understand why he went nuts:

Nikon WT4

The Nikon WT-4 "Wireless" transmitter. Oh, it's wireless alright.

That’s what Kelby had to use before the D4. I had the biggest belly-laugh in quite a while when I saw this image. My entire desk with everything on it shook as if we were having a major earthquake here in New York. I wonder how Nikon got away with calling this a “Wireless” Transmitter.

Nikon WT4

The Nikon WT-4 "Wireless" Transmitter in action.

Does that look wireless to you? Somehow I thought wireless would look more like the picture below:

Canon 1Ds Mark III / iPhone

At Canon we've had wireless control of the camera from an iPhone ever since the 1D(s) Mark III

No wonder Kelby got so excited. Poor guy. I can’t imagine what it must have been like using the Nikon “Wireless” WT-4. Oh God, what a joke. This just keeps cracking me up.

At the end of the video, a Nikon NPS moron explained the intelligent shutter speed functionality in the D4 when auto ISO is active. Canon photographers have enjoyed that functionality ever since the early 1900s if not earlier. I’m kidding of course, but seriously, we’ve had it starting on the 5D Mark II and just took it for granted ever since. Someone needs to tell Kelby to switch to Canon so he doesn’t have to wait so many years for these kinds of features. And how long did he have to wait for full HD video on a pro Nikon DSLR? Am I making my point already or should I go on?

Now I’m sure some of you smart-asses are gonna be quick to point out how Canon photographers are probably going to wait at least until the release of the EOS C for a headphone jack on the camera, and in the worst case scenario until the 1DX Mark II, but I’ve already covered that here. It’s a non-issue, folks, move on.

And then photographer Kirk Tuck, who was very pro SOPA and one of their biggest financial supporters if we can believe the rumors, posted a link on his blog to a pirated PDF download of his latest book on LED lighting. The post has now been removed from his website (his tweet is still up), but I still have it in my feed:

What do you say we go back and revisit that whole SOPA thang?  I got my advance copy on Monday but I can download the whole thing as a PDF right now, for free, from this website.  Tell me again how this is making the web safe for content creators?  I’m puzzled.  I think we need to re-think the whole carefully orchestrated campaign to protect Google and the rest of the aggregators from…….anything.

I’m sure my publisher’s attorney will take time to comply with their “take down” procedures and equally sure that the OP will post it right back again under another name.  How exciting for an author!  Now instead of toasting the completion of another project with a great bottle of champagne we’ll have a quick, domestic beer and get back to work writing up take down notices…

Thanks to all the people who don’t download stolen stuff.  I really do hope you are the majority….

When I saw this post, I immediately asked myself why he would post about a pirated copy of his book (including the link) and by doing so promote the link to everyone so they could go and download it. It seemed very suspicious to me since this wouldn’t be in his best interest. I’ve been playing around with some LED lights while testing my pre-production 5DX and couldn’t wait trying out some of the stuff in his book. So as naive as I was, I quickly clicked on the link to go download the book while thinking what a complete moron Tuck must be to post the link for stealing his book and making it so easy for us to pirate the shit out of it.

LED Lighting

Kirk Tuck fucking 0wn3d us all

The above site opens and then I click on the download button and next thing you know the PDF downloads to my computer and opens up and I get over 300 blank pages in Acrobat Reader. Not only that, but the computer hangs for a few seconds too and suddenly a link opens up to the books section of Amazon inside my web browser. It was then that it became clear to me that Tuck set everyone up. After losing the SOPA argument he must have gotten so bitter that he decided to teach us all a lesson by posting a fake pirated version of his book online, infected with some kind of virus, and punish all the anti-SOPA-free-stuff-loving pirates who would download it. Not only did he give us over 300 blank pages, but by automatically opening the books section of Amazon inside a browser his message to us was very clear: Gotcha, now go BUY the fucking book.

Tuck removed the post after other readers, who obviously also tried to download the free book, pointed out that it was a virus:

Okay, one of my readers searched the site, downloaded and examined the PDF and found it to be mostly blank pages, probably a virus.

Kirk Tuck

Kirk Tuck: "Muhahahahaha 000000wn3d!!!!!"

But of course, the damage had already been done. I can only imagine how Tuck must have laughed like maniac in his office enjoying the thought of hundreds of anti-SOPA pirates getting 0wn3d by the virus inside the fake PDF. Who knows what other damage the virus has done on my computer.

This is what this industry does to people. Either positively or negatively, this industry is driving people insane every day.

It’s time for me to go back to testing my 5DX and finish my report for Tokyo. I mentioned last year that EOS was heading for some very exciting times, and trust me, you’ll love this camera. Nikon are going to seriously shit their pants. I can’t tell you a lot about the camera right now, but can you still remember the 5D Mark III petition from last year? It’s never too late to sign it ;)

Also, this may have some clues for ya:

I thought I’d never see the day again where Canon Inc. over delivers on their promises.