BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

Nikon D800 - Less than meets the eye

BAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I just keep laughing these days man, seriously. Whenever I read about the Nikon D800, I start laughing like I’m going crazy. And what’s even more funny are the Nikon morons who’re leaving behind comments here on my blog about the D800. You morons are going to have to face the facts very soon. The image quality on the D800 sucks balls. And not only for stills, but also for video. I hope you saw this article at EOSHD:

moire – at least on the internally recorded 1080p – is not nice on the Nikon D800 and not a great improvement on the way the 3 year old 5D Mark II samples video

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the internal codec on the Nikon D800 is quite muddy, and I don’t like the harsh edges around highlights or the overall softness to wide shots (see below)

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The internal codec is quite basic and at a low bitrate of 24Mbit, far less than on the 5D Mark II especially with Magic Lantern. The image is not actually that much better resolved than the 5D Mark II (it seems from initial videos). In terms of aliasing and moire it is the same old story.

—

But still it is disappointing that the D800 is stuck in the dark ages when it comes to this issue. The old GH1 still performs better than the Nikon D800 in terms of having less moire. Expeed 3 in the Nikon J1 has the same aliasing issues as the D800 and that costs just $399 so do I expect Nikon to fix stuff like this on a $2999 camera (let alone on the $5999 D4?). YES unequivocally and it is a scandal they haven’t.

I keep saying it, and I’ll continue to say it, and I’ll fucking say it again now: We’re going to fucking own the D800 with the 5DX.

I’m telling you, Canon is on a roll now. Didn’t I mention how sharp the 24-70 is in my previous post when all of you were complaining about IS?? There’s more to image quality than just IS. This lens is so fucking sharp you’ll cut yourself editting images. Check out what Dan Carr had to say about it:

Firstly for a zoom lens wide open at f2.8 this is SHARP!!  Secondly there appears to be essentially no chromatic aberration even in the high contrast black on bright white areas.  This was the same on all the images that I took and clearly this is something they have worked very hard to eliminate with this lens.   Despite its high price I expect that this lens will be in huge demand once it’s launched.  I’d advise getting in line with a pre-order at one of the following vendors.

This is from his site:

Aaaaw yeah

Do you believe me now? Who the fuck needs IS if you can get sharp images like this, without chromatic aberration while shooting hand held?

And this is nothing yet my friends. We’ve got even more planned for this year. I predict that once we reach the end of 2012, a lot of photographers are going to be switching (back) to Canon.

And speaking of switching to Canon, my good pal Tony Dunn has just released a new ebook where he recounts his years of struggle with unknown sub standard camera brands, only to finally end up with the brand all serious pros use, namely Canon.

Ten Years Ago Today. Life before Canon.

Tony has been like a brother to me. Ever since I started this blog, he’s always been here supporting me, making fun of me, honestly telling me how stupid I am, etc. etc. We all need someone like Tony in our lives. I’m very glad that after being lost in the wilderness for 10 years, he was finally able to see the light and join the Canon club of professionals.

Me: You trying to compensate for something Tony? Tony: Absolutely! (I'm not making this up)

You can see some sample pages from his book on his blog. I asked him a review copy so I could let you all know how much it sucks, but he told me to go buy it like everyone else. So since I haven’t read the whole book yet, I can’t honestly recommend it to you, though the sample pages looked interesting. And certainly the fact that he switched to Canon in the end says something about the validity and quality of his experiences in those 10 years. But for all I know, apart from the sample pages I’ve seen on his site, the rest of the ebook could be blank pages. Perhaps even containing a virus like that ebook by Kirk Tuck about LED lighting which I wrote about before. So be cautious.

Spinlight 360

And since I seem to be on a promotional tour here I might as well mention the new Spinlight 360 flash modifier, which is based on the black foamie thing by photographer Neil van Niekerk.

Video link.

In my honest opinion, this is one of the best flash modifiers you can buy if you’re doing event photography (including weddings), couples and models. The results you get will look like they were shot using available light, or a softbox, instead of the typical flash look. And with a name like Van Niekerk standing behind it, you know you can’t go wrong with this. I mean, that’s a cool-ass name, right? Van Niekerk. When I first heard the name I thought it was a character from Star Wars or something. Darth Niekerk. That sounds absolutely bad-ass. Or like the movie Van Helsing, but only this time it’s Van Niekerk.

Van Niekerk - In theaters soon.

Personally, I think that would have been a better promotional video for the Spinlight 360 instead of the boring video with a model above. Don’t get me wrong, I like when Neil does videos with his model Anelisa. I dream of Anelisa and I’m in love with her. She’s the best. I would like to marry her some day if I’m lucky enough. Neil knows this. But I just think that Neil using the Spinlight 360 to fight vampires Van Helsing-style would make the Spinlight 360s fly off of the shelves. And I’m sure most of you can agree with me on this.

Anyway, I should be going back to work now. Lots of preparations before the 5DX launch. Stay tuned for more.

Ron Paul 2012 – If you know what’s good for you!

Restore America Now

A break from the usual, because it is fucking important. I have to bring this to your attention.

Ron Paul is a fucking genius. It’s been a long time since the world has seen such a brilliant, super intelligent, but above all, honest, politician. And I’m afraid after Dr. Paul, the world will have to wait for a very long time again for another Ron Paul. Don’t let your chance get away. Vote Ron Paul for president in 2012.

This article sums it up nicely. But you all should read more about Ron Paul’s thoughts on various issues.

Did you know Ron Paul is for 0 (ZERO) income tax? Aaw yeah baby!

We’re fucking slaves goddammit!!!! Income Tax = Involuntary Servitude!! We’re being fucking used!!

Go look at your tax statement. Think of what 0% would have been like for the first part of your life. Now imagine saving that much and more for the rest of your life.
Which would you rather have:

• More $ in your pocket or more wars?
• More $ in your pocket or more government departments?
• More $ in your pocket or more entitlement programs?
• More $ in your pocket or more bailouts?

Think about it. Think about it long and hard.

God Dammit!!

I’m alive! The blog has been static for a few months, but I’ve been more active on Twitter with short updates as some of you know. I just couldn’t find the time to update the blog because of being swamped with work at the office here at Canon USA. There’s just so much to talk about, so I’m hoping to find more time to do regular updates.

But first things first. I’m fucking pissed off at PDN for their 2011 Photo Gear of the Year awards. Those of you who have been reading this blog since 2008 know that I am a reasonable guy. I like to be fair. When things suck I say it. When things rock, I also say it. And the 2011 photo gear awards at PDN quite frankly is a big pile of shit. And no, I’m not just saying this because Canon got left out of it this year. I even think they purposely left us out as Dan Havlik personally made a remark about this on Twitter, just to make sure we noticed:

Fake Chuck (@fcwestfall) can’t be happy Canon was shut out of PDN’s Gear of the Year awards for the 1st time: http://bit.ly/vaeZvr

Now I know we didn’t do much in 2011 as far as DSLRs are concerned. Yeah we announced the 1DX, but technically that’s a 2012 camera. But what we did release in 2011 is the Canon EF 8-15mm f/4L Fisheye lens. And anyone with at least some insight in this area will tell you that this lens is a fucking brilliant design and stunning piece of engineering. Nobody in this goddamn industry has such a lens or anything that comes even close!

No contest here, the Canon EF 8-15mm f/4L Fisheye should have won.

You’d think that this lens would have easily won the 2011 PDN Gear of the Year award for lenses. But no, instead they chose the NIKKOR 85mm f/1.4G lens.  In PDN’s own words:

The replacement for the legendary Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF that launched back in 1995, the new 85mm f/1.4G doesn’t break any significant new ground and that’s a good thing.

I’m sorry, but what? The lens doesn’t break any significant new ground and that’s a good thing?! The lens doesn’t break any significant new ground but it fucking wins the 2011 PDN Gear of the Year award??? Folks, enlighten me please, am I the one going crazy here, or are they fucking morons at PDN?

Listen, PDN, unlike the boring as fuck NIKKOR 85mm f/1.4G, our brand new state of the art EF 8-15mm f/4L ZOOM FISHEYE lens *does break significant new ground*. This lens practically defines the word innovation. It’s the world’s first fisheye zoom lens to offer both a circular and full frame image. When was the last time you guys came across such a lens? Hmmm??? There’s so much brilliance that went into the design of this lens that I don’t know where to start. It really doesn’t take an expert to recognize the brilliance of this lens design. But if you are an expert, you’ll notice even the small details, for example, that Canon Inc. took care to make the nodal point of this lens the same at both 8mm and 15mm making it easy for photographers to make lower resolution (3-4 images) and high resolution (16-25 images) panoramic images at the same time on location without having to recalibrate their setup. It’s the small design considerations like this that greatly benefit photographers. Only professionals can appreciate these things.

But not at PDN. PDN chose the NIKKOR 85mm instead. What. a. fucking. joke. My God, my God.

Just when things start to go really well here at Canon and I think I can finally keep my blood pressure in a healthy range, people like Havlik show up and completely fuck it all up for me again.

I can tell you that Japan was fucking pissed when I forwarded them the link to the awards page on PDN. Why they haven’t yet pulled all advertising for Canon products from PDN is beyond me. PDN is very fortunate that I’m not the one in charge here at Canon. Dan Havlik personally is also fortunate that I forgot the password to the Fake Dan Havlik blog I ran a few years ago, or else I would start posting there again too.

I’ll be back soon with more updates. I should also mention the new blog design which I launched yesterday. After 3 years it was time for some change. Personally I like the new design, looks cleaner and more professional. And since I’m as professional as they get in this industry, I think this blog design really suits me well. You may disagree with this, but please be advised that I don’t really care. After all, I’m the Canon Camera Guru here, not you.

It’s official: I’m not Vincent Laforet

It’s been a few weeks since I last detected a disturbance in the kyosei and I’ve just been so very busy with a lot of stuff around here at the office. We’re heading for some pretty exciting times for EOS in the coming months. Right now Nikon is playing the announcement game with us again, trying to wait for us to do our announcements first, and then them coming with a much stronger announcement just a few days later taking all the press. We’ve been suckers for that a couple of times already, but not anymore. This time they’re going to have to make their announcements first, or there will be none at all. At the same time Sony are preparing to rip us both a new one as I’m typing this. The A77 is going to trash everything out there in, below and even above its market segment. The Nikon D7000, D300s, Canon 60D, 7D etc. – All toast. I knew this day would come:

We’re not very concerned about Olympus here at Canon, but Sony has been scaring the hell out of us for a while now, to be honest. More so than Nikon, and for a lot of reasons. They’ve got their hands on a lot of good technology now, and we’re very concerned about their next wave of DSLRs. If you can recall their DSC-R1 camera from a few years ago, it had a CMOS sensor and really great and reasonably fast contrast-detect autofocus functionality. You could even use the small joystick to move the focus point *anywhere* on the screen and focus *exactly* where you wanted to, even the edges. This was a few years ago. If this makes its way into their DSLRs, with today’s faster processing technology, we’re going to be fucked. We know they have the sensor technology (D3x) with IS, they have the lenses, it’s just a matter of the right software, the pro features and tuning it all to work together. Since they have the financial capabilities, it’s only a matter of time.

It’s not like I didn’t warn Japan about it:

Even Sony is working hard to close the gaps in their lineup with their recent lens announcements. It won’t be long now before they have a DSLR body that’s going to make Canon Inc. executives shit their pants. But Canon Inc. has had plenty of time and plenty of opportunities, and if they keep blowing it every time they’ve got nobody to blame but themselves.

And the time has now indeed come for Canon Inc. executives to shit their pants. And this is nothing yet. What’s even more frightening to us is the prospect of their upcoming A900 replacement.

Make no mistake about it though, we’re not planning to go down without a fight here at Canon. I said there are some exciting times coming for EOS in the months ahead, and I mean it. There’s a reason why you’re not hearing anything about the next 5D yet. This time around Japan are taking their time with it. This has nothing to do with the earthquake. But more on this in another future post.

Planet5D had an interesting podcast with grand master Vincent Laforet, eternal peace and blessings be upon him. At about 7 minutes in, he answers the question if he’s Fake Chuck. For a long time now I’ve been dying to know if I was really Vincent Laforet, and now I finally have an official answer from him. Thanks a lot @planetMitch for asking him that question. I owe you one.

The rest of the interview is pretty interesting also. There’s some great advice if you’re new to the industry and are starting up your own business. Laforet also briefly talks about his iPhone app, which apparently was misunderstood by a lot of people. I must admit that at the beginning I was a bit confused myself. Somehow I was led to understand by the information in the iTunes store that the app came with a Pulitzer Prize included. I almost wrote an angry email to Laforet myself after downloading the app, demanding my Pulitzer Prize or to have my $3 back. But considering our good friendship, I decided not to.

Vincent Laforet, Peace be with Him, and me.

Vincent is such a great guy and we’re lucky to have him as a Canon explorer of light. I personally am so proud that I framed the picture above and have it on my desk right next to my PC so I can see it all the time when I’m working. Well actually, I replaced a picture of my wife and daughter that was initially inside the frame with this one. I also carry a smaller copy of it in my wallet.

And before I head back to work, I want to take this opportunity to remind you again to please, for the love of God and all that is holy, sign the 5D Mark III petition to Canon Inc. In the seven months that this God forsaken petition has been online, only about 300 people have signed it so far and that’s fucking pathetic. Don’t you want Canon Inc. to blow you away with the next 5D? Then sign the petition, God dammit! If you’re disappointed again in a few months don’t run back to me crying and complaining about it!

Are we trying to take down Canonfilmmakers.com?

You Can't - Canon

It was just brought to my immediate attention that apparently the owners of the website “Canonfilmmakers.com” are experiencing legal trouble. See their post here. Indications are that Canon Inc., as usual, are acting like the goddamn fucking Gestapo again going around bullying innocent customers and fans. They did the same thing a while ago to Canonrumors.com and of course also made me try taking down my own blog a few years ago. Let’s also not forget how they had Vincent Laforet, eternal peace, love and blessings be upon him, take down his video ‘Nocturne’ a year ago or how they threatened a Korean photographer if he didn’t keep his mouth shut about the issues with the 1D Mark III. And the list goes on.

All of this is, of course, in the spirit of “kyosei“:

A concise definition of this word would be “Living and working together for the common good,” but our definition is broader: “All people, regardless of race, religion or culture, harmoniously living and working together into the future.” Unfortunately, the presence of imbalances in our world in such areas as trade, income levels and the environment hinders the achievement of kyosei.

Addressing these imbalances is an ongoing mission, and Canon is doing its part by actively pursuing kyosei. Truly global companies must foster good relations, not only with their customers and the communities in which they operate, but also with nations and the environment.
They must also bear the responsibility for the impact of their activities on society. For this reason, Canon’s goal is to contribute to global prosperity and the well-being of mankind, which will lead to continuing growth and bring the world closer to achieving kyosei.

At Canon, our customers are number 1!

And to foster good relations with our customers, it is of course only natural that we bully them around and take down their websites, which they spent years working on promoting the use of our products and around which they’ve also built a nice community consisting of even more of our customers, while we’re obviously completely fucking blind to the fact that their work ultimately benefits us and our customers too. And all of that just because the name of their website contains the word “Canon” in it, which, in case you didn’t know, we fucking invented. Makes sense right? If this kind of behavior doesn’t foster good relations with people, then I don’t know what will!

When we say that our customers are number 1 here at Canon Inc. that probably means that we piss on them. It makes perfect sense in japanese english. “Haha, I pissing on you! You in number 1 position! Haha! We are achieve kyosei now!”

Allow me to quote myself on “kyosei”:

Canon Inc. can take their fucking Kyosei corporate philosophy and cram it you know where. Do you know what hinders the achievement of kyosei??? HUH?? DO YA?? Let me tell you what hinders achieving kyosei, you stupid, ignorant bastards: It’s the fucking morons running the company!

I’m trying to get more information about this Canonfilmmakers issue from management here at Canon USA but everyone refuses to talk to me about this. That’s not surprising since they no doubt know I’ll be airing everything right here on my blog along with some good Canon Inc. bashing. So if there’s anyone out there with more information, send it my way at fcwestfall@gmail.com. And not to worry, I won’t reveal my sources even if they send me to Guantanamo Bay and waterboard me to death. Please show your support to Canonfilmmakers.com; this shit has got to stop.

Update:

It seems like Canon Inc. may have overlooked the fact that the owner of Canonfilmmakers.com is called “Jon Connor.” You’ve got to have huge balls or be a total fucking moron (more likely in Canon Inc.’s case) to mess with someone named Jon Connor. Check the video below to see what I mean:

As you all know, in the not too distant future Jon Connor will fight Skynet (Artificial Intelligence). But it looks like right now he’s first going to have to deal with Canon Inc. (Natural Stupidity), an arguably more frightening threat.

Lighting, Flashes, Flash Busses

The Lord of the Speedlights (left) and Zack Arias, separated at birth?

It seems like these days if you’re a photographer and you’re not either blogging about lighting, writing a book about lighting, making lighting DVD’s or giving lighting workshops, then chances are you’re probably not very cool or important. Perhaps just an amateur fooling around with cameras in your spare time, hoping to become like the pros when you grow up one day. Everywhere I look there’s either someone writing a book on lighting, giving workshops or selling books and DVD’s on lighting. At some point even a Flash Bus got into the mix. When I first heard the term “Flash Bus” I thought it had something to do with “Bang Bus.” But then I got on the website and found out that it was actually worse than I thought: it was about lighting workshops being done by The lord of the Speedlights and Joe McNally. Both of them, together.

Joe Mc Nally (left) and a random Sock Puppet, separated at birth?

Now, you may not immediately understand why I think this isn’t such a good idea if you’ve never heard of them before, but these guys are absolutely nuts. I’m still surprised they somehow got approval for this project. These two guys together, traveling cross country on a bus to 29 cities in 6 weeks? That’s just asking for trouble. Who knows what kind of weird stuff is going to happen with those two together in a bus for 6 weeks. I’m telling you, if you see this bus in town, do NOT go near it. Trust me on this, stay far away. Especially if the bus is shaking and you see bright flashes of (colored) light coming through the windows. Just notify the authorities and let them handle it. You may want to head on over to the Flash Bus website, not necessarily to register for the workshop in your city, but to start checking when you need to get the hell out of your city before these guys arrive and things start to get bad. Don’t risk becoming their hostage for a day and being forced to work as a voice activated lightstand, or heaven  forbid, their model.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT: The bus has just departed from a secret location east of the Mississippi en route to Seattle, Washington.

Seattle appears to be their first destination so you folks from Seattle who’re reading this, time is of the essence. They’re probably already nearby so it’s best to stay in your homes, barricade the doors and make sure you have enough food for the next 5 days.

Close-up shot of the Flash Bus

The picture of the Flash Bus above appears to be the first picture of the bus taken in the wild. It was emailed to me by a photographer who put a lot at risk to get this amazing shot. For obvious reasons the photographer requested to remain anonymous. If you look at the picture you can see The Lord of the Speedlights and McNally in the bus  and their driver who goes by the name “Cool Breeze.” The name made sense to me when I saw the picture. According to the photographer he managed to snap this picture just seconds before they saw him and drove right into him. He dove off to the side and just barely managed to get away.

The Lord of the Speedlights and Joe McNally both also have new DVD’s out on lighting: Lighting in Layers and The Language of Light. They have what I think is a more stylized approach to off-camera lighting. In most cases you’ll look at one of their pictures and you’ll know it was made using one or more of their own lights. And in the case of Joe McNally, probably a crapload of lights (McNally’s rumored to own enough Nikon SB-900′s to light the Empire State Building). But it’s also possible to use flashes and make your pictures look like they were shot using available light.

Neil van Niekerk in deep concentration, thinking of even more ways to get beautiful women in front of his camera.

And that’s where Neil van Niekerk comes in. I know you may have heard that you shouldn’t use your flash on-camera very often because it makes your pictures look like crap, but Neil van Niekerk has some  excellent techniques that’ll blow you away when you see the kind of results you can get: pictures taken with on-camera flash that look so natural people will think they were taken in available light. That, and he’s somehow able to get a lot of beautiful women to pose for him. Most of the information is available on his blog (about the lighting techniques, not the women), and in his book on on-camera flash: On-Camera Flash Techniques for Digital Wedding and Portrait Photography. And just a few days ago, almost synchronous with the Flash Bus, Neil’s second book became available which is about off-camera flash: Off-Camera Flash Techniques for Digital Photographers. I bought both books hoping to find information about how I could get beautiful women to pose for me, just like van Niekerk. But sadly I have to report that this information is not included. Perhaps he’ll focus on that in his third book. Meanwhile I’ll have to keep stalking young women on Facebook.

But what is most important to me as the technical advisor here at Canon USA when I look at all of this, is that all of these photographers are using Nikon gear primarily. Sure, you’ll find them occasionally briefly mentioning Canon speedlites and cameras here and there, but when they do I can’t help but feel as if they’re doing it just because they feel sorry for Canon users and don’t want them to feel left out. If you just look at what they themselves shoot with primarily, it’s all Nikon gear. And there’s a reason for that. We fucking suck when it comes to lighting and Nikon is way ahead of us. I don’t know what is taking those fucking morons in Tokyo so long but they had better come out with something new pronto. We need a new professional flash to replace the 580 EX II and we fucking need it fast. And it had better fucking come with RF based wireless flash functionality or as the Lord Jesus Christ is my witness, I’m going to go fucking berserk on their ass. Not too long ago I wrote about our ancient ST-E2 wireless flash trigger and  mentioned how even the Chinese were way ahead of Canon Inc. with innovations in that area.

Canon ST-E2 Ass-Rape VS Cactus V4

Back then I compared the ST-E2 with the Cactus V4. Well guess what, the Cactus V5 is already out. In the time it took the Chinese to develop the Cactus V2, V4 and V5, Canon Inc. has been unable to release an update to the fucking ST-E2 that can stand next to the rest of today’s technology without being laughed at. The ST-E2 uses a 2CR5 battery for Christ’s sake, talk about old! And they still want $230 for it, when you can get a Cactus V5 set with 2 transceivers for a mere $60. And the Cactus V5 will offer you many interesting possibilities, like a 100m working range (compared to the sorry-ass 10m of the ST-E2 with line of sight) and 100% reliability.

I don’t know what the fuck is taking those bastards in Japan so long, but if they finally release an update it had better fucking blow everything away. I’m talking RF based wireless flash triggers, a new pro speedlite with built-in RF wireless flash capabilities, full TTL and High Speed Sync support, Master/Slave functionality, 100m working range, and best of all, remote control of the speedlites from the back of the camera. I want all my fucking speedlites to show up on my camera LCD just like wireless access points show up on my computer, and I want to fucking add them to my own private network of flashes under my control, each with their own custom ID (so I know which is which). And then I want to be able to fucking select each one of them and be able to change their goddamn settings right on my fucking camera even if I’m 100 meters away! THAT is what I would consider true innovation. Not the fucking horseshit we’ve been seeing in the last few years.

God damn! I started writing this post laughing my ass off and now I’m pissed again. This always happens. As soon as I get reminded of those fucking morons in Tokyo my blood just starts to boil automatically. I’m going to get me a cup of coffee now before I end up in intensive care again.

Lube up for the Canon “Rebate”

You Can't - Canon

I admit I don’t usually keep myself busy here at Canon USA with sales matters, that’s not really my department. I’m more of a technical guy working with the marketing division. But I’ve been hearing some complaints about the current ongoing Canon rebate in a few places, and I’ve also been sent this email (thanks):

Here’s a heads up about the games being played with Canon lens prices since the 2/20/11 through 3/19/11 rebates were announced last Sunday.

Apparently, Canon and/or major retailers raised prices on Canon lenses (at least lenses with a rebate) since Last Sunday to offset about 75% of the rebate.

For example, the EF 70-200/2.8L IS II lens was priced at B&H Photo, Beach Camera and buydig.com, among others, last Sunday at $2374 USD. Since then, said retailers increased the retail price to $2499. After the $200 rebate is factored in, the real rebate is only $75 and not the $200.

Results are similar on a percentage basis for the EF 100/2.8L IS Macro. I haven’t checked prices for the other lenses listed for rebates.

Canon’s as cunning, sinister and self-serving as their nation was on December 7, 1941.

Thought you’d want to know.

I just got off the phone with the sales department, and apparently Canon Inc. realized that the price of the 60D would drop all the way to $800 (same price as the 600D) due to the retailer discounts being offered on top of the rebate. So they jacked up the prices bringing everything back to the way it was pre-rebate.

The very sensual, the verry toit, Helen Oster from Adorama Camera also posted about this here:

When Canon raises the prices to retailers, rebates are generally offered for the first few months to delay the price-change for customers. We don’t raise prices on our existing stock to match the new prices, which often means that customer prices drop initially; however within a week or two, when we’ve sold out of almost every Canon unit that has a rebate on it, as well as a few that don’t – we have to pay the increased prices when we re-stock.

This seems to confirm my theory. Canon Inc. initially offered the rebate and then jacked up the prices after they saw prices got too low. It’s like I said, who would fucking buy a 600D for $800 if you can buy the 60D for the same price? Fortunately it seems that retailers acted fast enough and lubed up before Canon Inc. began penetration. The whole rebate became a fucking rip-off in the end, but this should not surprise you if you know Canon Inc.

In other news…. yeah, you know it’s coming right? You know I’m gonna mention it… yeah that’s right, the 5D Mark III petition!! Have you signed it yet? If not, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself. So far only 200 people have signed it, and that’s nowhere near the minimum 10.000 signatures I was aiming for when I launched it. And that’s FUCKING PATHETIC. Words cannot even begin to describe how much I regret investing my valuable time in that God forsaken petition. All that effort and then only 200 of you bastards sign it? I could have better spent the time it took me to make that petition beating my meat to a Sasha Grey video. Speaking of which, I need to go now.

Breaking news: Canon 580EX II Flash has Design Errors

At Canon, our customers are number1!

I mentioned just a day ago that karma was going to catch up to Canon Inc. and apparently it is already happening. LPA Design, maker of the PocketWizard flash triggers have identified a couple of design errors in the Canon 580EX II Flash that can, and often do, cause the flashes to fail. Read more here. You may want to download the PDF file with their research to have a look (Flickr discussion).

Not only did LPA Design identify the exact causes of the problem that was causing the 580 EX II to fail, but they also found evidence that Canon Inc. themselves also realized the design error they made, and corrected it in the later 430EX II flash model, WITHOUT SAYING A GODDAMN WORD ABOUT IT TO ANYONE. According to LPA Design:

It has become LPA Design’s theory that design problems with the 580 EX II were realized [by Canon] and needed improvement of the design on these elements to prevent failures of of a similar nature on future flash models.

…

By reviewing heavily used 430EX II flashes (Canon’s newest) and seeing no signs at all of arcing within the reflector or on the flash tube, we have theorized that possible 580EX II design issues were corrected [by Canon] by identifying the same problems discussed in this document and changing the design to minimize the potential damage on the newer 430EX II flash.

Have you seen any fuckup notices by Canon on this issue? NO! Didn’t I write about this exact behaviour from Canon a fucking day ago? YES! This is Canon Inc.’s policy, it’s how they fucking operate. THEY FUCKING KNEW ABOUT IT AND AREN’T FUCKING TELLING US. They’re not going to say anything about the problems on the 580EX II, they’ll keep quiet and just correct the problem in the new version. And if you get screwed with the older version, then hey, ya had bad luck! In the same way they said absolutely nothing about the original 5D mirror falling off until after the 5D Mark II got out and they were sure the issue would not cause much financial damage. In the same fucking way, they don’t say anything about the design problem on the 50mm f/1.2L, they keep quiet while they have a new version in testing right now which corrects the problems. But are they going to notify you about the problems? No, otherwise you’ll demand a fix, and/or you’ll stop buying. And that is, of course, not in Canon Inc.’s best interest. You might even demand a refund, and that would really suck for Canon Inc. They would have done the same thing with the 1D Mark III if Galbraith didn’t fuck things up for them. And didn’t I just recently mention how Intel handled a similar issue the correct way by just doing a complete recall of all affected products and stopping all sales of those products to correct the issue? I guess we shouldn’t expect this from Canon Inc.

This is how you’re being fucking screwed by Canon Inc. while you may not even realize it. And the thing is, when your 580EX II breaks because of their fucking design error, and you send it in for repair, they’re going to fucking charge you for it too, not to mention the inconvenience and the shipping costs. And you don’t know what the fuck happened, thinking it might be your fault it broke and end up paying for the repairs. THAT is just fucking unacceptable, I can feel my bloodpressure climbing as I type this. I’m going to go fucking crazy here!!! I can already see my inbox crashing tomorrow because of all the emails. Looks like I’m going to be on the fucking phone all day long tomorrow.

DOMO ARRIGATO YOU GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKERS AT CANON INC.!!!!!! I GUESS THIS IS KYOSEI. WE’RE LOVIN’ IT!!!

Update: If you didn’t believe me about Canon service centers charging you for the fix  caused by CANON INC.’S OWN FUCKING DESIGN ERROR check this out:

thats so annoying, I had the exact problem. Brought it into Canon and they quoted me $380 aud to fix and pointed to a fault to my cameras. I just bought a replacement 580exII just to find out it will fail again…

That’s right, recognize! You’re getting ass reamed by those fuckers at Canon Inc. Without lube. In the same way, if the mirror on your 5D fell off you had to pay for the fix yourself even if the mirror caused other damage in the camera like scratching your sensor (and that did happen and people paid for it themselves just Google this). It wasn’t until after 3 fucking years that Canon issues a fuckup notice and offered to repair the mirror for free. But by then, they had the 5D Mark II on the market, and they know most people would upgrade and that after 3 years not many people would send in their 5D camera’s to get the extra strengtening for the mirror.

Breaking News: Vincent Laforet to switch to Nikon?

Vincent Laforet (left) and Eolake Stobblehouse, separated at birth?

All hell broke loose a few hours ago here at Canon USA HQ when we noticed a blog update by Vincent Laforet, peace and blessings be upon him, where he appears to be selling a crapload of his Canon gear. Experience in the last 3 years has taught us that if a photographer is selling this much Canon gear at once, it is usually followed by the announcement of switching to Nikon. And in the case of someone at Laforet’s level, that is again followed by the announcement of becoming a Nikon ambassador. We’ve got an entire team of our top executives on top of this situation right now, and I can assure you we’re going to do everything we possibly can to keep Laforet with us. Nikon already has most of the big names in this industry, at least the vocal ones with a community, and God knows we can’t afford to lose Laforet to them. Certainly not right now.

I’ve been trying to get through to Laforet but all lines appear to be jammed right now. No doubt by an army of Nikon people (and possibly also Sony) trying to get a hold of him. Laforet did mention a “career change” in his blog post, which could mean a change to quit being a Canon Explorer of Light to become a Nikon ambassador. Let us all pray that all of this is just a false alarm and that there’s nothing serious going on here. Admittedly we all got a little paranoid here at Canon USA after all the recent switches to Nikon, it’s become some kind of trauma. As soon as I see a photographer selling a lot of Canon gear it’s almost like I’m getting a heart attack. So there may not be much going on here, but we’re not taking any chances here at Canon.

Anyway, most of you should already know by now that I have launched a petition and have asked all of you to sign it and show your support to let Canon Inc. know we want a serious full frame update this year. In 24 hours, only about 74 people have signed the petition so far, which quite frankly is fucking pathetic. I have to say, I’m asking myself who I am doing all of this for right now. Because if you fucks can’t show your support by signing a goddamn petition, I might as well just fucking shut down this whole fucking blog. I’ve been busting my ass off here on this blog for 3 fucking years now, do you think I’m doing it for myself? Do you think I’m doing it for fame? Do you think I’m doing it for money? NO GOD DAMMIT, I’m doing it for you! You’re the ones who complain about how Canon sucks and doesn’t listen and all the other usual shit that you complain about. And now that I create an opportunity to show Canon Inc. we’re not going to take this shit anymore, you disappoint me and let me stand alone in the cold! Well thanks a lot!!!! I know how many of you viewed that petition, I know how many of you read the blog every day, and it is a damn shame that such a tiny percentage of you signed the petition so far. So what if you fucking disagree with minor aspects of the specs? The point is we have to send a message to Canon Inc. that any update to the 5D Mark II had better be very significant on all levels. Focusing on specific details of the specs is missing the fucking point. OK?? Please share the link to the petition on Facebook, Twitter, Digg, your blog, online forums, your local photography club, etc. etc. We need to get the message out. I can’t fucking do this alone!!!!!! And will you all grow a fucking backbone and for once stand up for something you believe in, instead of cowering because you’re afraid of losing business/support. Sign the fucking petition with your name if you’re man enough! For once let us stand up to those corporate FUCKS, GOD DAMN IT!!

And then this gem of a publication was brought to my attention today by Paul. It’s from Digital Camera Magazine in the UK:

D7000 VS 60D according to Digital Camera Magazine UK (apparently run from the basement of a mental institution)

I couldn’t make this up. Notice that this is a reaction to a letter from a disappointed reader who writes:

I’m disappointed by Angela Nicholson’s review of the Nikon D7000 in issue 107. How can you take a review seriously if it marks down a top-end prosumer camera, despite achieving outstanding scores in tests, primarily because it doesn’t have an articulating screen?

Their answer? Read it and weep:

While the Nikon camera has a more advanced AF system, the Canon model has a better LCD that has a high pixel count and is articulated. Our resolution chart tests indicate that the EOS 60D also resolves more detail in images, especially JPEG files.

…

Unfortunately, the Nikon D7000′s build quality was shown as 4/5 in the test, but it should have been 3/5, the same as the EOS 60D.

WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE??? Are these the kind of people doing reviews these days? No wonder Canon is still doing so well. What a bunch of fucking morons, my God, my God!!!!!!! How in God’s name can the 60D’s fucking articulating screen be more important than the advanced AF system on the D7000? Isn’t the AF system more important than the articulating screen for taking pictures? What the fuck is going on here? I feel like I’m in a scene from Alice in fucking Wonderland. And the 60D having better image quality compared to the D7000? Well DXO Mark disagrees with that by 14 points:

Recognize, you fucking morons!

And the 60D  having the same build quality as the D7000???????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh my God, these people are so fucking clueless it worries me. I’m beginning to fear for the future of humanity, I’m telling you guys, if this is the way we’re heading, I’m afraid we’re slowly evolving into Homo Moronicus as a species. How stupid do you have to be to not see the clear difference in build quality between the 60D and the D7000? Oh God, get me out of this nightmare, please make it fucking stop, dear Lord, I’m on my knees, begging!

You know at my age I shouldn’t have to deal with this. Stress, high bloodpressure, irregular heart beat, it’s going to kill me one of these days. I need some rest now, but before I go, let me mention this post by photographer Lloyd Chambers (thanks Dweeb) where he shows us what leaves the Nikon factories these days labeled as brand new and in perfect working condition:

According to Nikon, this lens is brand new and in perfect working condition.

Yep, that’s one of those new Nikon 24G lenses with broken aperture blades. As Dweeb pointed out, this does appear to be a “phenomenon” in need of getting “reduced.” Apparently this left the Nikon factory in this state as brand new and certified by their quality control department as being in perfect working condition. Yep, that’s a $2000 lens, folks. Read the details at Chamber’s blog. Just recently I did a post about Nikon receiving a lot of bad press these days and now this pops up. Is Nikon really, seriously, becoming the new Canon???? I thought this bad quality control shit was unique to Canon. Apparently Nikon DID copy our bad quality control. What the fuck happened at Nikon? If Nikon starts acting like Canon now, what the hell are we going to do??? What will everyone switch to now? God help us all.

Is Nikon the new Canon?

Possibly Nikon's future logo.

Is it just me or is Nikon receiving all kinds of bad press lately? It may appear as if they’ve just whooped our asses here at Canon with the D7000, but make no mistake about it, shit are happening at Nikon.

I thought random dots in images were unique to us, but with the release of the D7000 Nikon decided it would be cool to imitate us once again. It’s not enough that they blatantly ripped off our G series design (G12 etc.) with their P7000 like the fucking hacks that they are. Noooo, they had to start adding randomly colored dots to their images too. And typical of Nikon, they grabbed the chance to be the first to market with the random dots in video mode.

D7000 Colored Dots from Hell

Now they can brag about how they were the first to introduce that feature in video mode, while we just stuck with the implementation in photos on the 5D Mark II. Just like how we were the first to offer HD video on a DSLR handicapped with manual focus while they were the first to offer continuous AF in video mode on a DSLR. I’m just waiting right now for them to implement our ghosting feature in video mode on their next DSLR so they can claim to be the first with that in video mode too. It could be any day now.

Fortunately for the Nikon fanboys, Nikon was quick to acknowledge the problem but tried hard to make it seem like it’s not that big of a deal:

“We have received reports from some users of the Nikon D7000 digital SLR camera regarding the occurrence of noticeable bright spots with movie recording under certain conditions.

Translation: We’re getting fucking spammed by hundreds of Nikon fanboys about hot pixels in movies made with the D7000 but we’re going to make it sound like it’s only happening in *certain* conditions making you think that it won’t affect you. Please continue to buy the D7000!

Nikon believes that these bright spots are not normally noticeable, and therefore do not indicate a problem with practical use. However, with further investigation of the reports received, we have confirmed that bright spots may be noticeable when recording movies of especially dark scenes or subjects.

Translation: We would so love to ignore this altogether and pretend like our noses are bleeding, but this shit could get out of hand fast so we have to do something. Look, the hot spots do not indicate a problem. Oh wait, we have confirmed that they do, in fact, indicate a problem. God, it’s so hard to make up our minds.

In order to provide our customers with better products, Nikon is currently preparing to release a firmware upgrade with measures to reduce the occurrence of these bright spots for the D7000. Further details will be announced at a later date.”

Translation: In order to avoid a class action lawsuit and for the shit to really hit the fan we’re going to release some kind of fix in the future to try to hide the problem because admittedly we can’t fucking fix it without a  hardware recall, but we’re not going to just outright say it like it is. Nope, we’re going to make it sound positive, you see, and hope your IQ is at a level where we can get away with it.

All of this is of course straight from the Canon Inc. playbook. They even rip off our PR spin strategies. I keep wondering if there’s any originality left in those bastards. It’s either that, or making problems somehow sound positive is some kind of Japanese tradition. Nikon does it, and I know Canon Inc. does it. Every time there’s an issue with products, Canon Inc. and Nikon refer to it as a “phenomenon”.  Why can’t they just call it a fucking “problem”? Or an “issue”? Or more accurately, a fucking “defect“? Noooo that sounds too negative, people might become afraid to buy the products! And we wouldn’t want that now, would we? So they just call it a “phenomenon” or “occurrence” almost making it seem like it’s functionality by design. And consumers, mostly being the fucking brain-dead sheep that they are, fall for it too.

On the left the Canon G12. On the right, the Nikon P7000 rip off. Any resemblance is, of course, purely coincidental.

So all of you D7000 owners, please rest assured that the hot pixel “occurrence” has been “reduced” in the new firmware update:

Bright spots were sometimes noticeable with live view mode or movie recording of especially dark scenes or subjects.  Occurrence of this issue has been reduced. 

Translation: Yeah okay, so the bright spots were visible in movies but we have now…err… made them less visible… *ahem* So it’s fixed, OK? OK.  So we’ll just go ahead and mark this issue as fixed on our side and please stop bothering us now and continue to buy the D7000.

Have you heard about the “phenomenon” chip manufacturer Intel is currently dealing with regarding their Sandy Bridge chipset?  The result of an admitted “design error” is a $700 million costing product recall while all shipments of the product have been halted. There’s no mention of Intel trying to “reduce” “occurrences” or “phenomenon”. Nothing the fuck is getting reduced, the goddamn products are being fucking recalled and properly fixed, just like you would fucking expect. If Canon Inc. had done as much during the 1D Mark III  debacle, or the 50mm f/1.2 backfocus problems (still not “reduced” by the way) we would not have lost so many photographers to Nikon. On the contrary, Canon Inc. has demonstrated to be perfectly happy with shipping known defective products sometimes even while refusing to say anything about issues hundreds of photographers around the world are complaining about (5D mirror falling off, 50mm f/1.2 issues for example). It will be winter in hell before Canon or Nikon ever do something similar to what Intel did. The sun is going to come up from the west before Canon and Nikon grow some fucking balls and do the right thing. John Harrington is going to sign up with Getty Images before Canon and Nikon man up and start telling the truth. The Lord of the Speedlights is going to stop using speedlights and switch to Profoto gear before Canon and Nikon… oh wait, he already has switched to Profoto gear. Sorry, my bad.

But getting back on topic, Nikon are just copying everybody in the industry and then go on pretending like they’re unique. As if we still needed proof of this, just recently they were put to shame before the entire industry when someone found out that they were actually using a Sony sensor in the D7000 while people initially claimed the sensor was designed by Nikon. Then this Tetsuro Goto guy from Nikon pops up:

“We have a longstanding relationship with Sony. If the sensors for Nikon D3s, D3 and D700 are designed by Nikon, Nikon D3x and those of the small APS-C sensors are from Sony. We want to use our own sensors in SLRs most popular [small sensor APS-C, Ed], as the performance of our sensors are better. However, it will take some time as it takes to achieve economies of scale.”

Nikon executive Tetsuro Goto: "We design our own sensors."

When this news broke I almost fell off of my chair while laughing. For months I had to listen to people yapping about how fucking cool the Nikon sensor in the D7000 was and how we sucked and blah blah blah yappidy yap yap, when in reality those fucking hacks at Nikon can’t even design some of their own sensors. Our recent sensors may suck, but at least we fucking design our own! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh God. Boy did this make me feel good. I even uncorked a bottle of champagne to celebrate. Suddenly everyone stopped talking about how cool Nikon is and everyone started mentioning the power of Sony. And is it just me or do you also get a mental image of the Mortal Kombat character “Goro” when you read the  name Tetsuro Goto?

And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse for Nikon, it actually does. It’s public knowledge that our secret weapon here at Canon is our “Golden Trinity” of primes, as people like to refer to it, which include the 35L, 85L and 135L, but actually also extends to the 24L and the 50L. All of them f/1.4 and even f/1.2 lenses which every Nikon fanboy has long dreamed about. So Nikon, being in the business of copying everyone in the goddamn industry like the fucking hacks that they are, set out to develop a trinity of their own. It’s absolutely no coincidence that the Nikkor 24G,  35G and 85G all f/1.4 all came out after each other in such a short timeframe, the 35G being the most recent. Nikon knew they had to do something about our secret weapon, so these lenses had high priority. But perhaps a little too high because it looks like they’re hastily trying to release products that aren’t quite finished yet. I mean just look at us, we announced the EF 8-15mm f/4 L fisheye lens all the way back in August 2010, and if you’re lucky you might be able to actually buy one in March 2011. That’s obviously how it’s supposed to be. You have to take your time with these things. If you don’t, shit are happen, which is what happened in Nikon’s case.

Photographer Lloyd Chambers had issues with the 24G and had the following to say:

I am more impressed with optical quality of the 24mm f/1.4G than ever, especially at f/1.4, but the autofocus is best described as useless, at least with my sample, because it cannot be relied upon to deliver the performance of which the optics are capable.

My my my… impressive optical quality paired with fucking terrible autofocus. That surely is a winning combination, wouldn’t you say? That almost sounds like our 50L. But you could really, seriously, feel the frustration Chambers was dealing with, when he said the following about the 35G:

In terms of autofocus, the 35/1.4G is surely the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever used of any brand, at least on my Nikon D3x and D3s (that’s $13K worth of pro camera bodies, folks). How can Nikon ship this garbage? Bad lens? Well, the other 35/1.4G sample I shot two days ago showed similar issues under field conditions, and could not focus properly on an eye for a portrait.

I laughed so hard I had to unbuckle my belt to make sure it wouldn’t suddenly snap because of all the pressure. I started laughing in the middle of the “biggest piece of crap” sentence and by the end of that line my eyes were so teared up I couldn’t read the rest. After this I just had to uncork a second bottle of champagne.

Chambers wasn’t the only one dealing with the 35G AF issues, just check out the review done by Ryan Brenizer:

Users expecting the same lighting speed of the Canon 35mm f/1.4L will be disappointed at first — like the new Nikon 24mm and 85mm f/1.4s, this is not a speed champ, being just a bit faster than the 24. But it’s very accurate, even at wide apertures — noticeably more so in difficult focusing situations than the 24mm f/1.4 (which I also love, despite its trickiness). I could see right away that it was much easier to get in-focus f/1.4 shots on a dark dance floor with this than with the 24, though not quite as easy as the ludicrously fast-and-accurate 24-70mm f/2.8. I came to trust it pretty quickly.

NOTE: My copy needed serious AF micro-adjustment, about -15. This was not true of my 24G or 85G, but has been true of other lenses like the 135mm f/2. Be sure to test your lenses thoroughly. Micro-adjustment is the best feature invented for cameras since digital sensors.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Brenizer’s 35G needed a micro-adjustment of -15. Fucking -15!!!!!! We’ve had our share of back and front focusing lenses here at Canon, but this is crazy. How far away was the focus plane before that -15 correction? In another galaxy or something? LMFAO. Oh my fucking God. Also notice how Brenizer mentions the “lightning speed” of the Canon 35L and tells you Nikon fanboys not to expect that with the 35G. Yeah that’s right, recogniiize baby!

Backfocus (hel)L

With the release of the 24G and the 35G Nikon finds themselves in back focus hell, something we all thought was unique to Canon. I for one am very much looking forward to see Nikon “reducing” these “occurrences” now. Chambers mentioned recently that he was already talking to them about these issues. And knowing Chambers, Nikon had better do a whole lot more than simply “reducing” “occurrences”.

Nikon’s apparent decision to start fucking up really is coming at a bad time. Because here at Canon Inc. we’ve had a couple of months now, okay years actually, to regroup our efforts, and shit are going to happen for Nikon, that much I can tell you. Ever since the release of the D3 Nikon has given us blow after blow, and we haven’t been quite able to answer back. I mentioned in a previous post how the release of the D7000 was like the attack on Pearl Harbor to us, taking out both our 60D and 7D at the  same time – a rather serious offence. And if you saw the movie “Pearl Harbor”, you can maybe remember the scene with the Japanese general after they attacked Pearl Harbor, when he mentioned that “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.” He might also have said “Gentlemen, we have just kicked a rabid dog.” Nikon has either awoken a sleeping giant, or they have kicked a rabid dog, but either way, all I know is that we’re going to fucking own them! Make no mistake about it, Canon Inc. is at war. This is no time for Nikon to be screwing around. Trust me on this.

Everyone has been busy praising Nikon and Sony in the last few months, either for their outstanding sensors or their recent innovations. But it seems that everyone ignores the fact that Nikon and Sony have only now gotten to a point with their sensors where Canon Inc. had been over 3 years ago! The image quality on the D7000 and the Sony A580 have just recently caught up with the image quality we had 3 years ago on our 40D! The image quality on the D700 that everyone is raving about, existed almost 3 years earlier on the original EOS 5D. Yeah that’s right, fucking recognize! It took Nikon and Sony 3 years to catch up. Imagine where we are now. Yeah sure, we fucked up with our latest sensors, I’ll give you that, but this doesn’t mean we didn’t innovate. We still have our 3 year lead, I promise you, and you’re going to find out about it soon! Y’all better prepare for penetration!

And for those of you who always mentioned how I was a product of Nikon’s marketing department or how I was probably a Nikon fanboy, do you still think I am??? HMMM????? Let me hear ya!!