The End

<3

<3

The time has come to move on to other things in life. Yes, Fake Chuck is retiring. You can read all about it by clicking here, where you’ll also find out who Fake Chuck really was all this time.

Thanks to everyone who supported the FCW blog in the past years. We went through a lot together; frustration, anger, we laughed, we cried, we pissed off Canon fanboys as well as Nikon fanboys. All those moments will forever live on in our memories.

Fake Chuck’s work here is done. It’s up to you now to remain critical of Canon so that things don’t go downhill again. Nikon is currently seriously fucked, and we have to make sure this doesn’t happen to Canon again, or else we’ll all suffer the consequences like we did 6 years ago.

I’ll end my last post on this blog with the following poem that summarizes all my true feelings for Canon Inc.:

I Will Always LOVE You

© Richard M. Deets, Fake Chuck Westfall

I desire you when splinters of light appear
And the dew lazily joins morning sky.
When arias, pining birds to mates sing,
I rely on the excellence of EOS.

I desire you when the sun centers the sky
And shadows hide beneath the soles of feet.
When butterflies dance among petals white,
I enjoy the sparkle of your expensive glass.

I desire you as the moon welcomes the night
And skies are flooded with twinkling bright stars.
When candles flicker their last silent breath,
I passionately explore your highest ISOs.

I desire you my love in every moment.
As time adds years like sands on the beach,
And the last photowalks of my life get near,
I will want you so much more than now.

Canon Inc., will you be my Valentine?

<3

<3

Aaah yes, Valentine’s Day. A special day for most people, but an especially special day for me and my relationship with Canon Inc. A lot can be said about our relationship, but nobody will ever be able to truly appreciate what we have together. Back when I started this blog, there was a lot of doubt about my true motivations for doing so. I want to take the opportunity today to tell you something very important. And that is that LOVE was the only motivation I had back then when I started this blog. Not just any kind of love, but true LOVE.

It’s the kind of love that lasts forever, no matter what happens. We can have our differences, we can fight and have arguments, hell, our paths can even separate and take our lives into different directions. But our LOVE for each other always remains, burning like an eternal flame in our hearts. And as they say, what’s meant to be together, will always find a way.

Sure, I’ve had a lot of criticisms and said a lot of harsh things about Canon Inc. in the past — all very valid in my opinion. But it’s precisely BECAUSE of my LOVE for Canon Inc. that I did that. I’ve worked for this company for a great deal of my life now, and I want this company to succeed. I want our customers to be happy. I want to wake up every day and be motivated to come to the office and play with my toys. I want that shit to actually fucking work the way it’s supposed to. And that’s why I continue to push very hard to ensure that Canon Inc. does its best to stay the best in this industry. If that means that I have to bash some of our products, then that’s what will happen. If it means that I have to call Maeda along with other executives and harass him on the phone, then that’s what will happen. If it means that I have to put my health at risk and spend a couple of nights in intensive care, then that’s what will happen. You get the point.

When you LOVE, you CARE. And when you CARE, you try your best to help the ones you LOVE to improve and to succeed. You’ll always be brutally honest to them, because you know it’s for their best interests in the long term. And really, that’s always been my motivation for wasting a great deal of my valuable free time writing posts on this blog, only to give people the impression that I’m probably crazy or have no life, or possibly both.

It’s exactly 5 years ago today that I received the heartwarming love letter from Canon Inc.’s lawyers, ordering me to shut down my blog. February 14th, 2009. I’ll never forget that day. It was the kind of event where you remember exactly where you were and what you were doing when it happened, for the rest of your life. You know, kinda like how it is with the Kennedy assassination and 9/11. Getting such a letter on any other day of the year is significant enough, but the fact that I got it on Valentine’s Day reveals its true purpose. There can be no doubt that this was an expression of LOVE from Canon Inc. — an answer to my own strong feelings of LOVE towards them. Thanks to their very thoughtful and touching letter, this blog got a ton of exposure that I would never have been able to achieve on my own. Like I mentioned above, when you LOVE someone, you try your best to help them succeed, even if you have to be a little harsh sometimes. And this was definitely Canon Inc. helping me to succeed.

In the years that followed my LOVE for Canon Inc. has only gotten stronger. So today, on this very special day, I will drink to this special relationship and celebrate the time that we’ve been able to spend together. And I want to end this post with a poem that summarizes all my feelings for Canon Inc.:

I Will Always LOVE You

© Richard M. Deets, Fake Chuck Westfall

I desire you when splinters of light appear
And the dew lazily joins morning sky.
When arias, pining birds to mates sing,
I rely on the excellence of EOS.

I desire you when the sun centers the sky
And shadows hide beneath the soles of feet.
When butterflies dance among petals white,
I enjoy the sparkle of your expensive glass.

I desire you as the moon welcomes the night
And skies are flooded with twinkling bright stars.
When candles flicker their last silent breath,
I passionately explore your highest ISOs.

I desire you my love in every moment.
As time adds years like sands on the beach,
And the last photowalks of my life get near,
I will want you so much more than now.

Why Scott Kelby switched to Canon

All the Nikon fanboys are complaining and weeping like girly men around the Internets because of a recent video of Scott Kelby explaining why he switched to Canon. It’s endless amounts of entertainment. Just go here and read the comments. That’s just one example. You should check out the dpreview forums for even more comedy.

But to readers of this blog, this came as no surprise, of course. Months ago I had already blogged about Kelby switching to Canon:

Fuck the megapixels, give us exceptional image quality instead. Most pros are satisfied with 12-16MP. Look at the 1DX. It’s “just” 18MP, but the images are absolutely gorgeous. Even Kelby ditched Nikon and is now using the 1DX because it’s the fucking best camera on the planet right now. And remember, this is the same Kelby who was hugging a Nikon D4 last year like his firstborn baby.

Here’s what Kelby had to say about the 1DX after using it for the first time:

First Impressions This was my first time shooting with the 1Dx, and I gotta tell ya — it is a camera absolutely born to shoot sports. I shot at 2,000 ISO all night and you don’t even see any noise (I did no noise reduction). Michael says the Falcon’s crew routinely shoots at 5,000 ISO and you just don’t see any noise, but after the way they had raved about it, I was expecting insanely low amounts of noise, and that’s what I got.

Better than the low noise… …the auto-focus system on the 1Dx. It’s AF is insane! It’s so fast, and so precise that I know I’m picking up shots I would have missed otherwise. That’s the part that really surprised me. I need more time with it to really get the little nuances of setting it up for my style of shooting, but of everything on this camera, that was what impressed me most.

Everything about the 1Dx feels fast. I was shooting at 12-frames per second and I know that’s only 2-frames faster per second than what I’m used to shooting, but it felt like it was 10 frames faster.”

Of course, we knew that a long time ago. This really puts the bullcrap from DxOMark and the fuckwads at EISA into perspective, doesn’t it?

And this image says it all:

It's never too late to see the light.

It’s never too late to see the light.

Admittedly Kelby does come across quite weak in the above video trying to justify the switch. However, from everything I’ve blogged here in the past, I can honestly say that there are two very very very valid reasons for the switch:

  1. The lower noise and overall MUCH better image quality on the 1DX and 5D Mark III.
  2. The fucking awesome autofocus system on the 1DX and 5D Mark III.

You guys know I’ve called the 1DX and 5D Mark III the best DSLRs on the planet right now many months ago, and this still holds true today. Nothing comes close.

And this has nothing to do with me working at Canon USA. I’ve been very critical of Canon from the moment I started this blog, to the point that Canon fanboys suspected I was working for Nikon’s marketing department. The simple fact of the matter is that I only care about the truth and based on my expertise, will honestly tell you what I think is better.

Sure, it may be true that some black SUVs, with no license plates, sporting just a long red stripe on the sides and fully darkened windows, stopped by Kelby’s office with some of our undercover guys and made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. I can’t confirm nor deny that. There are some rumors spreading online that those same black SUVs were also seen near the homes of Chase Jarvis, Joe McNally and The Lord of the Speedlights. Quite possible. Let me just say that you shouldn’t be surprised when more photographers switch to Canon in the near future. As I reported many months ago, we’ve been having discussions with McNally for a long while now. We got the in-camera HDR feature he wanted in the 5D Mark III, but last I heard he wasn’t quite satisfied with it yet. The HDR images coming out of the camera didn’t look overprocessed enough to meet his high standards. We’ve been sent a link to some examples of what he’s looking for, and our engineers are busy getting the dirty-supersaturated-radioactive-halo containing-ultra high pass look he requested into the next firmware update. I’m confident we’ll have McNally on board as a Canon Explorer of HDR Light very soon.

I just hope Canon Inc. hasn’t lost their focus on what exactly matters when professionals are concerned and have learned what works with the success of the 1DX and 5D Mark III. What makes those bodies successful is the combination of incredible autofocus system and image quality. Megapixels don’t matter. Make everything 16MP as far as I’m concerned, but make it 16 sharp, extremely low noise, no artifact, high dynamic range, color accurate and overall fucking superb megapixels. Just look at the 70D image quality; it fucking sucks ass. I pray to God they don’t fuck up the future bodies with too many megapixels and crappy image quality. But knowing Canon Inc. I for one won’t be surprised when they do decide to fuck everything up again.

And finally to all the Nikon fanboys I say this: Continue to kiss Nikon’s ass even in the wake of them screwing you over and downright raping your ass (D800,D4 green color casts and D600 sensor oil etc. etc.), instead of being critical, and see how well that’ll work out for you in the future.

Dear Santa….

Dear Santa,

You know I don’t write you often, and I’m not one to beg for gifts, but this year I feel that I should make an exception. I know you don’t usually get letters from men in their fifties, and I understand if you may, at least initially, be a bit surprised. But if you’re like me — and I know I am — then you’ll at least continue reading out of sheer curiosity instead of immediately moving on to the next letter.

I’ve been here arguing for over 5 years on my blog that Canon Inc., my employer, should focus more on image quality instead of megapixels. It seems — and you’ll have to excuse my French — the fucking assholes at the marketing department at Canon Inc. just can’t get my message through their heads. And if they can, they apparently lack the brian capacity to process what I’m saying. Honest to God, I’ve given up to try and understand what it is that is blocking their mental capacities, but I’ve come to suspect that they’ve sustained major brain damage due to the chronic sexual repression that currently plagues the Japanese society. At least that’s my leading hypothesis right now. I mean, I don’t know about you and Mrs. Santa and how willing she is to satisfy your needs, but not being able to have sex in a normal and healthy way, as the case is right now in Japan, will drive you fucking crazy.

So being the kind of unselfish and caring person that I am, I would like to ask you if you could deliver some new and working brains for the entire marketing department at Canon Inc. this coming Christmas. And if it’s not too much to ask, also some fucking clues about what professionals actually need and are asking for in this industry, as opposed to the goddamn amateurs who think megapixels is the holy grail of photography. I know those guys over there are really going to appreciate it if you could do this.

Stand back with your puny 1DX, Uncle Bob's got the moment with his new 41MP watch

Stand back with your puny 1DX, Uncle Bob’s got the moment with his new 41MP watch

I mean, seriously Santa, just recently I almost fell off of my chair here at the office, when a watch was announced with a 41MP camera built in. A fucking watch!! Soon my goddamn microwave oven is going to be capable of taking 41MP+ images of the food I’m heating up that look awful as fuck. If Canon Inc. doesn’t realize now that megapixels don’t matter, but instead the quality of pixels, then they never will. And this is not going to be good for my health Santa, so please consider doing what I ask if you don’t want me to show up at the North Pole to kick your ass.

:'(

:'(

And on a final note Santa, if you’re on your way to Japan, do you think you could perhaps fly by some countries in the middle east and take down a few of those drones that fucking scumbag Barack Obama is currently flying over there? Innocent families and children are dying there almost every week because they’re being bombed by those drones, and it fucking pains me to see this going on while nobody the fuck says something about it. People have no empathy these days, it would seem. Why is that Santa? Why?

Fuck you Obama. Fuck you very much.

Fuck you Obama. Fuck you very much.

Do you think you could intercept some of those drones and have Rudolph,
Dasher and the other reindeers kick them down or something? Perhaps navigate your sleigh close enough so a well aimed kick to the left or right with their back legs on the wings can break and send them crashing down? Would that be too much to ask, Santa? I think you would do the world a great service if you could do this Santa. And especially the poor children in those countries who have to grow up in fear of being bombed and either die or spend the rest of their lives homeless and disabled. Just look at the video below Santa, and tell me it doesn’t break your heart to see those kids crying and suffering like that?

As you see Santa, I’ve so far mostly asked you to help others, but as for myself, there are some things that I wish for and maybe you can help me as well. I would appreciate it a lot if you could also tell the Japanese to fucking update the old EF 16-35mm f/2.8L II lens this coming year because it is fucking soft and Nikon has had an advantage with the 14-24mm f/2.8 for way too long now. Canon Inc. needs to fucking release a sharp 14-24mm f/2.8L lens soon now because I’m tired of waiting. It should be as good as the latest 24-70mm f/2.8L II in terms of image quality. Please make sure you tell them when you’re there ok? The 35mm f/1.4L II and other lenses can wait. We fucking need a sharp wide angle large aperture zoom.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

That’s it Santa, many thanks in advance, and I look forward to having my wishes here fulfilled.

Best regards,

Fake Chuck

PS

Here’s a little something to get you in the Christmas spirit.

Rise of the Smartphones

#Sandy

#Sandy

Just a month ago I wrote a post about how Canon Inc. was starting to feel the heat from smartphones in the digital photography market. And if you weren’t yet convinced that smartphones are taking over digital photography market right now, then the book #Sandy will convince you.

I received an email from Moses earlier today on my smartphone while I was sitting on the crapper, with a link to an article mentioning this book and this is what he had to say:

Another one of his projects, #Sandy, featured pictures taken by him and a number of other photographers of the devastation caused by hurricane Sandy in October 2012. All pictures were taken and processed on their iPhones. The pictures in the book are absolutely amazing. During his presentation, Wyatt mentioned that the people from the LA Times actually emailed him to confirm that the pictures were really taken on an iPhone apparently because they found it hard to believe. He also said that there are a few photojournalists that he knows who are primarily covering their stories using their phones right now. Since recently camera manufacturers like Nikon and Canon are facing heavy competition from smartphones as this story on the Wall Street Journal confirms, and apparently it’s not just the normal consumers that prefer to take pictures with their smartphones instead of a compact camera or DSLR, but now also professional photographers.

Of course this book by Wyatt Gallery is not the first featuring iPhone pictures. Chase Jarvis was one of the first to publish such a book back in 2009.

The Best Camera

The Best Camera

Bradley Cooper and Chase Jarvis (right) - Seperated at birth?

Bradley Cooper and Chase Jarvis (right) – Seperated at birth?

If you don’t know who Chase Jarvis is, he’s the guy playing Bradley Cooper in the Wedding Crashers and the Hangover movies. Chase apparently was ahead of his time with his book and saw the smartphone revolution coming way in advance.

And then there’s the WSJ article. Man, it’s fucking awesome. Just check this out:

Declining sales of high-end cameras and lenses are raising an alarming question for companies like  Canon Inc.  and  Nikon Corp. Could the proliferation of camera-enabled, app-heavy smartphones be crushing not only the simple point-and-shoot, but premium models as well?

This year, shipments of what’s called “interchangeable-lens cameras”—high-end models that let users swap out different lenses—are diving suddenly after years of robust growth. Most of those are digital single-lens reflex, or DSLR, cameras—the bulky models used by professional photographers and enthusiasts.

But the example of Lie Fhung suggests consumer tastes could be changing too. The Hong Kong-based artist and graphic designer says she now rarely uses the Canon DSLR camera that she bought five years ago. Instead, Ms. Fhung, 44, takes most of her photos with her iPhone, and satisfies her urge to manipulate the images with a bevy of photo-editing apps.

When the editing process is complete, she posts her snapshots straight from her phone to photo-sharing app Instagram, where she has nearly 1,600 followers. Ms. Fhung says she has no plans to replace her aging Canon.

See that? That’s precisely what I said in a previous post. People aren’t going to be choosing to shoot with bulky DSLRs and not even compact cameras, when their smartphones are perfectly capable of shooting good pictures. But there’s more:

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Camera makers have argued that although smartphones and mobile devices have decimated sales of cheap, compact cameras, premium products shouldn’t be affected, since they offer a level of control and picture quality that a smartphone’s tiny lens and sensor can’t replicate.

“Taking photos with smartphones and editing them with apps is like cooking with cheap ingredients and a lot of artificial flavoring,” says Canon spokesman Takafumi Hongo. “Using interchangeable cameras is like slow food cooked with natural, genuine ingredients.”

I beg to differ. The picture quality on DSLRs and compact cameras is becoming crappier all the time thanks to the continued increases of megapixels. Unless these stupid dumb fucks start to get a clue and focus on image quality instead of megapixels, there will be increasingly less difference in image quality between smartphones and bigger cameras. I mean, just look at the 70D. At higher ISO values you would swear that the pictures it takes were taken by a smartphone as it looks grainy and digital and awful as fuck.

Even lens maker Tamron has acknowledged a potential problem, although it doesn’t blame that for the recent decline in sales. “Smartphones pose a threat not just to compact cameras but entry-level DSLRs as well,” general manager Tsugio Tsuchiya said in a phone interview.

Even professional DSLRs are going to start feeling the heat soon. Like Moses mentioned above, professionals are starting to use smartphones to do some of their work as the image quality gets better. And then there’s this stupid dumb fuck from Nikon:

“We are seeing tough figures at the moment, but I don’t think this will last forever,” said Nikon Chief Financial Officer  Junichi Itoh, at an earnings news conference on Thursday. “There still is potential demand, and I think China is the key.”

These morons are going to have to wake up pretty soon to face the hard facts of the reality we’re heading into right now. Especially in light of their recent fuckups with the D600 sensor oil spots issue. I still can’t believe Nikon was able to fucking get away with largely ignoring that problem instead of fixing it and owning up to their fuckups, and just releasing a new D610 model a year later where the problem had been fixed, leaving all D600 owners on their own. It’s incredible how complacent and passive consumers are today. And hardly any professional photographers have mentioned and questioned this unethical move by Nikon. Honest to God, sometimes I think you ignorant sheeple deserve to get what’s coming to you.

But now is really not to the time to be fucking up with the prosumer and professional products. And Canon Inc. had better start paying some serious attention to what’s going on. A seriously high priority should be placed on producing imaging sensors that produce exceptional image quality. Forget about the megapixels; focus on better pixels, like Fujifilm plans on doing. Like Moses wrote in his 5D Mark III review:

  • Please keep the sensor resolution on the 35mm sensor in the 21-24MP range. We don’t need more resolution!! It’s great where it’s at now. For people who want more resolution, consider introducing a medium format system. Or alternatively, introduce a new camera line, say a 4D, with more megapixels and more noise and slower framerate for the amateurs (as Ken Rockwell calls them) who go crazy about megapixels. But for us professionals, keep the 5D at 22MP.
  • Instead of more megapixels, give us better usable dynamic range on the sensor. Sony can do it as demonstrated on the D800, so Canon should be able to do it. Get rid of the pattern and banding noise issues when pushing the exposure of an image in post.
  • Instead of more megapixels, give us even lower noise and even higher usable ISO values. Make ISO 1600 the new ISO 100.
  • Instead of more megapixels, give us even faster framerate. At least 8fps or higher.
  • Instead of more megapixels, give us better image quality. I love the lens aberration correction features for example. Give us more of that. Use more DIGIC power to improve the image quality. Give us better pixels, not more!!!
  • Better metering system. Perhaps we can get the 1DX metering system in the 5D Mark IV. Also, spot metering linked to the selected autofocus point.
  • I like the new HDR features and extra exposure bracketing options. One thing that is missing is focus bracketing. Add this feature on the next 5D. Give us an option to specify how many images and how far to shift focus for each bracketed shot. And then, similar to the HDR feature, let the camera combine them into a single shot with combined dept of field, which is going to be a great feature for macro shooting. Let it be possible to shoot all focus bracketed shots in a single quick burst.
  • Give us an articulating LCD screen. This is essential for video shooting, but also for stills to be able to get the more difficult angles.
  • Better autofocus system with more cross-type points, spread out more to the edges (rule of thirds), and more sensitive. Autofocus needs to be extremely fast and especially accurate.
  • It’s time for an electronic viewfinder with all the benefits that come with that, including real-time exposure simulation (what you see is what you get). While this isn’t very essential for the next 5D, the one after that should have one. And it should be high resolution and look almost like the optical viewfinder.
  • Flash sync speed of 1/500s. Why is the 5D Mark III stuck at 1/200s???
  • Much sharper HD video and 1080p at 120fps.
  • Get rid of the jello effect in video mode.
  • Faster contrast detect autofocus in live view shooting, and faster, smoother and automatic autofocus during movie recording.
  • Quality control needs to improve much more. I bought two 5D Mark III cameras. One of them was perfect, while the other one came with a dirty sensor (dust spots visible at f/16) and two small black spots inside the viewfinder (fortunately at the edges). This is unacceptable for a brand new camera. It’s not the first time this is happening to me. Years ago a brand new 40D I bought came with a large particle on the sensor visible at f/11. Fortunately I was able to clean the sensor myself in all cases, although it took a while and at least 5 swabs to get the 5D Mark III sensor spotless because of the tiny particles that kept moving around instead of attaching to the swabs. A quick Google search reveals that these kinds of quality control problems are still occuring too often. Please improve.

Personally, I’d keep the resolution on full frame 35mm sensors at 16MP like on the 1DX, and then focus on seriously improved dynamic range, low noise and great color reproduction even at the highest ISO values. And then add to this on sensor phase detection AF covering the entire frame, with the sensitivity to accurately autofocus on the dark side of the moon in nanoseconds.

This is also the time when Canon Inc. needs to seriously stop crippling features on their cameras to force consumers to buy the higher end models. THEY ARE JUST NOT GOING TO FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE. Either you go all out and give them innovative and high end features even on the lower models, or you risk losing them to the smartphones. I mean, really, why the fuck didn’t the 5D Mark III have built-in GPS and Wifi? WHY THE FUCK NOT?? Oh, so you could sell the overpriced GP-E2 and WIFI Battery grip and financially milk out people even more???? THIS SHIT IS NOT GOING TO FLY ANYMORE. You have been warned. There’s no excuse not to include these features in ALL upcoming camera models. FUCKING BUILT-IN!!!!!1

The time has come to stop dicking around and show us what you’ve got, Canon Inc. And start fucking shipping the 14-24mm f/2.8 L we’re waiting on for so long now. The 16-35mm is fucking soft and outdated as fuck.

Alright that’s it, I’m gonna try to enjoy the rest of my weekend now.

WE ARE ANONYMOUS; EXPECT US

Change, the only constant.

Change, the only constant.

Today, November 5th 2013, millions of people worldwide will march in the streets of their cities to promote ideas for a new and better world. A world where the freedom of every single individual is truly respected. A world where honesty and the truth are valued. A world where knowledge is free to flow without restrictions, empowering every single human being on this planet, and enabling them to reach their highest potentials.

Even if you are not among those of us marching in the streets today, think long and hard about the world you want to leave behind for your children. Our civil liberties are constantly being threatened; we cannot afford to continue to stand by and watch it happen any longer. The system we live in is fundamentally corrupted. The system is against us. The system enslaves us.

THE TIME HAS COME.

Let us remind this world what it has forgotten; that fairness, justice and freedom are more than just words. A new and higher awareness and collective consciousness is developing on this planet. Nothing can remain hidden.

Knowledge is FREE.
The Corrupt Fear Us.
The Honest Support Us.
The Heroic Join Us.
We Are Anonymous.
We Are Legion.
We Do Not Forgive.
We Do Not Forget.
Expect Us.

The DxOMark of the Beast

Un-fucking-believable

Un-fucking-believable

Boy those morons at DxO Labs really know how to get to me. Their sensor scores for the EOS 70D were recently published, and as you would normally expect by now, it’s way behind the Nikon sensors. If this doesn’t prove to you that they’re on the take from Nikon, then nothing will. I mean, I’m not very impressed with the 70D image quality myself for a few reasons. But giving it that low of a score compared to a fucking 6 year old sensor in the Nikon D300s really is absurd.

The below scores are equally as absurd and sad and do not reflect reality at all. In fact there’s not even a shadow of a doubt in my mind that reality is probably not a concept that’s well understood at DxO Labs.

DxOMark sucks balls

Wait jest wan bombaclad minute, mon! Dees nuh look irie tuh me!?

I’m beginning to suspect that there’s something bigger going on here and all of this may be leading to something far worse for Canon Inc. I know for a fact that they’re watching us. Just a few days ago on August 28 the below message suddenly popped up in my inbox.

Somebody's watching me

Somebody’s watching me

And this was on the same day that they published their 70D scores. Don’t believe me? Fucking look it up.

DXOMarkSo they published that bullshit score for the 70D, and then added me just to see what my reaction would be! This just goes to show you that this is all planned and done on purpose. And I think there’s a larger conspiracy going on here and I intend to get to the bottom of it.

Not too long ago I predicted in my interview at Aputure that this would be a time of tremendous upheaval.

I and many others in this industry got frustrated with Canon more than 3 years ago around the time of the great 1D Mark III debacle. Many ancient civilizations had foretold a time of great upheaval at Canon which would occur in our lifetime during the coming of the new age of Aquarius. And I think that’s what we started experiencing back then. It was a major change in our collective consciousness at Canon. Everyone got fed up with the way Canon Inc. were handling a number of issues, and I took it upon myself to start my blog and let the world know what was going on at Canon. You’ve just witnessed EOS making a serious comeback in this industry, and so far you’ve just seen the beginning. Do you think it’s a coincidence that this is happening in the year 2012?

It’s no coincidence that Canon Inc. is making a major comeback now, with Nikon fatally wounded in the aftermath and left behind hemorrhaging customers to Canon and Sony. And the biblical prophecies clearly stated that during these end times the anti-Christ would unleash the mark of the beast (666) on all of us.

Well folks, what we have here is DxO Labs AKA the anti-Canon, and DxO Mark which is their Mark of the beast.

Don’t believe me? I did some investigation over the weekend and it turns out the letter combination “DxO” contains the number 666 which as you know is the number of the beast. Many of you may be familiar with the ASCII table, which is the code table for characters you see on your computer screen. Well follow the link and look up the decimal values for the characters D, x and O. Here’s what you get: D = 68, x = 120 and O = 79.

Now if you add these decimal values together, you get: 68+120+79 = 267. Now multiply that result by 2.4943820224719101123595505617978 and lo and behold, you get the number 666 — which is the number of the beast.

Coincidence…? I think not.

This, in my honest opinion, is clear evidence that the anti-Canon has been among us for a while now during these last days, and that they have been putting their 666 Mark, the mark of the beast, on our products while trying to deceive all of you to go down the wrong path.

All of you Canon customers out there, you have to remain strong during these challenging times. You will be put to the test. Have faith in Canon. Do NOT get misled by the anti-Canon or you will perish just like Nikon when judgment day comes. Do not accept their DxOMark of the beast!!!

Please take out your bibles now my brothers and sisters, and let us read the following verses together:

Isaiah 50:10 — Who is among you that feareth Canon, that obeyeth the voice of His blogger, that walketh in darkness and hath no light? Let him trust in the name of Canon, and stay upon his Brand.

Isaiah 45:7 — I form the light, and create darkness; I, Canon, do all these things.

1 Corinthians 4:5 — Therefore judge nothing before the time, until Canon come, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts; and then shall every man have praise of Canon.

Psalm 18:28 – You, O Canon, keep my camera working; my Canon turns my darkness into light.

Matthew 6:22 – “The eye is the lens of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.

Job 33:28 – Canon redeemed my soul from going down to Nikon, and I will live to enjoy the light.

2 Samuel 22:29 — For Thou art my lamp, O Canon; and Canon will lighten my darkness.

Psalm 89:15 – Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Canon.

Canon Explorers of Light

Canon Explorers of Light

Ephesians 5:8 — For ye were sometimes darkness, but now ye are light in the Canon. Walk as explorers of light.

Luke 16:8 — And Canon commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely; for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the explorers of light.

Revelation 22:5 — And there shall be no night there, and they will need no candle, neither light of the sun; for Canon giveth them speedlight. And they shall reign for ever and ever.

In the name of Canon, AMEN.

Be strong my brothers and sisters. Do not get tempted by the dark side. Stay on the path of light and have faith in Canon. Now take out the tools of joy, granted to us by the lord our Canon, and go out as explorers into the light and be blessed capturing it.

The Canon EOS 70D is here

Yeah I’m a bit late but I actually work for a living here at Canon USA, so sue me. The EOS 70D is out, and you can see some of what’s to come with the 7D Mark II in there. Most importantly the new sensor with on-sensor phase detection autofocus, which, as far as I’m concerned is one of the best innovations we’ve had in a long while. This is going to open up a whole host of possibilities and new features, most of which Canon Inc. will introduce with the higher models.

I mentioned a few posts ago how I was wrapped up in an internal battle with Japan about the godawful 9-point autofocus system. Man that struggle alone lost me another 20% of my hair. I managed to convince Japan to step up the AF system on the lower models, and the 70D now has the same AF from the 7D, which is a big deal. Yes, take note, and you have me to thank for it.

Of course this means the 7D Mark II is gonna have to get the AF system form the 5D Mark III. Before you start smiling keep in mind that the price of the 7D Mark II is gonna be much higher than the 7D. But as far as I can see right now, it’s gonna be worth it. Especially with the frame rate we’re planning on having on it.

The only thing that concerns me right now is the image quality. But before I post about that I’m gonna wait for Japan to deliver the production firmware so I can be fair about it. I don’t know what it is with the Japanese and megapixels. I thought I had won that battle long ago with the 5D Mark III, but they keep on pushing it. I pray to God that the new medium format lineup gets ready soon so that the marketing department can masturbate all over the megapixels there while they leave the 35mm sensors where they are right now.

It’s a fucking shame that the 70D has the autofocus system that should have been in the 6D. Canon Inc. just completely fucked the 6D up by including such an ancient AF system on it. Mainly because of that crap autofocus system I can’t recommend that camera to people when they ask me. You’re just better off getting a 5D Mark III. And if you just can’t afford that, you better get the Nikon D600, tho it’s not that great compared to the 5D Mark III, which is still the best fucking DSLR in the history of human civilization, if we don’t look at the 1DX.

Van Niekerk

Van Niekerk – In theaters soon.

Van Niekerk, photographer by day and vampire slayer by night, did an ISO comparison between the 1DX, D4, 5D Mark III, 6D ad D600, which I think you should check out. It clearly shows the superiority of the latest Canon EOS models. Some of what he says:

1. To my eye, the Canon 6D and Canon 5D mark III behaved similarly in this aspect – high-ISO performance.
2. There is a definite (but not that an incredible) jump from the Canon 5D mark II, to these two cameras.

[..]
5. The Nikon D600 performed surprisingly poorly, especially if you think of how fantastic the Nikon D3s and Nikon D4 perform, and how the Nikon D3 was the high-ISO king for quite some time. The D600 that I had, did have the latest firmware, so I can’t explain the noticeable poorer performance compared to the other cameras.

Keep in mind that the 5D Mark III is slightly better compared to the 6D with regards to image quality for stills, and much better if you’re doing video (moire, aliasing etc.). Canon Inc. just fucked with the image quality on the 6D and totally sent everything to hell with the piece of crap 9-point AF system.

DXOMarkBut what’s even more interesting here about Van Niekerk’s observations is with regards to the Nikon D600. The reason is because this, AGAIN, proves that those goddamn motherfuckers at DxO Labs are fucking fooling the entire industry with their bullshit benchmarks. Just take a look at the screenshot below. You’d think that the D600 is so much better compared to the 5D Mark III and 6D based on those scores. Yet, in reality things are completely different, and I’ve shown this before with my analysis of the piece of crap D800.

DXO Mark Sucks Balls

DXO Mark Sucks Balls

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, this isn’t a surprise to you. Why people still take those morons at DxOLabs serious is beyond me. I’ve given up long ago to understand this shit. I have better chances understanding my wife to be perfectly honest with you.

Redneck ordering a Nikon D800

Yo’ kin’t go wrong wif a D800 acco’din’ t’them fuckwads at DXOLabs

Anyway, I’ve got a conference call that’s about to start with Tokyo regarding the new 14-24mm lens so until next time. Take care!

WOW, Just WOW

This country is going down the fucking drain man. I simply cannot believe WTF is happening right now. Just look at the video below.

As if this isn’t enough:

The saga of Lavabit founder Ladar Levison is getting even more ridiculous, as he explains that the government has threatened him with criminal charges for his decision to shut down the business, rather than agree to some mysterious court order.

You may also want to check out my Snowden post and the entire comments section there. This is getting uglier by the day.

Just remember what that guy said:

Lavabit’s webpage bears a warning from Ladar Levinson, its founder: “Without congressional action or a strong judicial precedent, I would strongly recommend against anyone trusting their private data to a company with physical ties to the United States.

This is full blown police state stuff right now. Yeah, you thought it wouldn’t get any worse than being questioned for photographing a fucking tree in public, didn’t ya?? I warned you all back then. Remain passive, and see just how far they will take this. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED AGAIN. WAKE UPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

Get a brain! morans

Get a brain! morans