Why Scott Kelby switched to Canon

All the Nikon fanboys are complaining and weeping like girly men around the Internets because of a recent video of Scott Kelby explaining why he switched to Canon. It’s endless amounts of entertainment. Just go here and read the comments. That’s just one example. You should check out the dpreview forums for even more comedy.

But to readers of this blog, this came as no surprise, of course. Months ago I had already blogged about Kelby switching to Canon:

Fuck the megapixels, give us exceptional image quality instead. Most pros are satisfied with 12-16MP. Look at the 1DX. It’s “just” 18MP, but the images are absolutely gorgeous. Even Kelby ditched Nikon and is now using the 1DX because it’s the fucking best camera on the planet right now. And remember, this is the same Kelby who was hugging a Nikon D4 last year like his firstborn baby.

Here’s what Kelby had to say about the 1DX after using it for the first time:

First Impressions This was my first time shooting with the 1Dx, and I gotta tell ya — it is a camera absolutely born to shoot sports. I shot at 2,000 ISO all night and you don’t even see any noise (I did no noise reduction). Michael says the Falcon’s crew routinely shoots at 5,000 ISO and you just don’t see any noise, but after the way they had raved about it, I was expecting insanely low amounts of noise, and that’s what I got.

Better than the low noise… …the auto-focus system on the 1Dx. It’s AF is insane! It’s so fast, and so precise that I know I’m picking up shots I would have missed otherwise. That’s the part that really surprised me. I need more time with it to really get the little nuances of setting it up for my style of shooting, but of everything on this camera, that was what impressed me most.

Everything about the 1Dx feels fast. I was shooting at 12-frames per second and I know that’s only 2-frames faster per second than what I’m used to shooting, but it felt like it was 10 frames faster.”

Of course, we knew that a long time ago. This really puts the bullcrap from DxOMark and the fuckwads at EISA into perspective, doesn’t it?

And this image says it all:

It's never too late to see the light.

It’s never too late to see the light.

Admittedly Kelby does come across quite weak in the above video trying to justify the switch. However, from everything I’ve blogged here in the past, I can honestly say that there are two very very very valid reasons for the switch:

  1. The lower noise and overall MUCH better image quality on the 1DX and 5D Mark III.
  2. The fucking awesome autofocus system on the 1DX and 5D Mark III.

You guys know I’ve called the 1DX and 5D Mark III the best DSLRs on the planet right now many months ago, and this still holds true today. Nothing comes close.

And this has nothing to do with me working at Canon USA. I’ve been very critical of Canon from the moment I started this blog, to the point that Canon fanboys suspected I was working for Nikon’s marketing department. The simple fact of the matter is that I only care about the truth and based on my expertise, will honestly tell you what I think is better.

Sure, it may be true that some black SUVs, with no license plates, sporting just a long red stripe on the sides and fully darkened windows, stopped by Kelby’s office with some of our undercover guys and made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. I can’t confirm nor deny that. There are some rumors spreading online that those same black SUVs were also seen near the homes of Chase Jarvis, Joe McNally and The Lord of the Speedlights. Quite possible. Let me just say that you shouldn’t be surprised when more photographers switch to Canon in the near future. As I reported many months ago, we’ve been having discussions with McNally for a long while now. We got the in-camera HDR feature he wanted in the 5D Mark III, but last I heard he wasn’t quite satisfied with it yet. The HDR images coming out of the camera didn’t look overprocessed enough to meet his high standards. We’ve been sent a link to some examples of what he’s looking for, and our engineers are busy getting the dirty-supersaturated-radioactive-halo containing-ultra high pass look he requested into the next firmware update. I’m confident we’ll have McNally on board as a Canon Explorer of HDR Light very soon.

I just hope Canon Inc. hasn’t lost their focus on what exactly matters when professionals are concerned and have learned what works with the success of the 1DX and 5D Mark III. What makes those bodies successful is the combination of incredible autofocus system and image quality. Megapixels don’t matter. Make everything 16MP as far as I’m concerned, but make it 16 sharp, extremely low noise, no artifact, high dynamic range, color accurate and overall fucking superb megapixels. Just look at the 70D image quality; it fucking sucks ass. I pray to God they don’t fuck up the future bodies with too many megapixels and crappy image quality. But knowing Canon Inc. I for one won’t be surprised when they do decide to fuck everything up again.

And finally to all the Nikon fanboys I say this: Continue to kiss Nikon’s ass even in the wake of them screwing you over and downright raping your ass (D800,D4 green color casts and D600 sensor oil etc. etc.), instead of being critical, and see how well that’ll work out for you in the future.

Yongnuo shows Canon Inc. how it’s done

Thanks Youngnuo

Thanks Yongnuo

This is the Yongnuo YN-E3-RT. It’s cheaper than Canon Inc.’s ST-E3-RT, AND it has features we’ve been asking for and Canon Inc. still hasn’t included for us in a firmware update, such as second curtain sync using the wireless functionality. It also has a built-in AF assist beam emitter. And it’s compatible with the Canon 600EX-RT. It’s fucking incredible. You can get it here.

This is what happens when Canon Inc. refuses to listen and act fast. I’ve blogged about the missing features months ago. It was clear that second curtain sync was a feature people needed days after the release of the ST-E3-RT. But up till now, we have fucking nothing whatsoever!

If Canon Inc. is fast enough, they might be able to also add the ability to control zoom levels of the flashes wirelessly, before Yongnuo updates their firmware. They might even add the second curtain sync for ETTL as well as the one from Yongnuo can only do it in manual mode. But we should probably not hold our breaths waiting.

I’m getting fucking tired with these slow-ass Japanese engineers, I’m telling you. Never in my life would I have expected to deal with this much stress at this age.

If it’s not the slow response to feedback, then it’s the lies. I’ve covered that in the past, but this recent blog post on Lens Rentals has a lot of truth to it, and I recommend you check it out if you know what’s good for you:

As long as we’re on the subject of catchwords, it’s probably worth tackling ‘Weather Sealed’ or ‘Weather Resistant’ next. Many people seem to believe that means ‘waterproof’. When you take lenses apart all day you find out it usually means ‘we put a strip of foam rubber behind the front and rear elements and scotch tape over the access holes under the rubber rings’.

It’s better than no weather sealing, certainly. And some (but not all) ‘weather sealed’ lenses also have internal gaskets around barrel joints and other added bits seals. But I haven’t seen one manufacturer yet tell us exactly what weather their lens is sealed against. Snow? Rain? Sunshine? Wind? Well, it can’t be wind because the lenses we spend the most time taking dust out of are mostly ‘weather sealed’.

Let me be very clear about this: DO NOT TRUST the ‘weather sealed’ bullshit from Canon Inc. Make sure when you’re out in the rain you’re using a rain cover for your camera. This includes the higher end bodies such as the 5D Mark III and 1DX and the L lenses. You have been warned.

Last and certainly not least, you should take an hour of your time to watch the below presentation on NSA spying capabilities. It’s scary, it’s jaw dropping, it’s unbelievable.

Dear Santa….

Dear Santa,

You know I don’t write you often, and I’m not one to beg for gifts, but this year I feel that I should make an exception. I know you don’t usually get letters from men in their fifties, and I understand if you may, at least initially, be a bit surprised. But if you’re like me — and I know I am — then you’ll at least continue reading out of sheer curiosity instead of immediately moving on to the next letter.

I’ve been here arguing for over 5 years on my blog that Canon Inc., my employer, should focus more on image quality instead of megapixels. It seems — and you’ll have to excuse my French — the fucking assholes at the marketing department at Canon Inc. just can’t get my message through their heads. And if they can, they apparently lack the brian capacity to process what I’m saying. Honest to God, I’ve given up to try and understand what it is that is blocking their mental capacities, but I’ve come to suspect that they’ve sustained major brain damage due to the chronic sexual repression that currently plagues the Japanese society. At least that’s my leading hypothesis right now. I mean, I don’t know about you and Mrs. Santa and how willing she is to satisfy your needs, but not being able to have sex in a normal and healthy way, as the case is right now in Japan, will drive you fucking crazy.

So being the kind of unselfish and caring person that I am, I would like to ask you if you could deliver some new and working brains for the entire marketing department at Canon Inc. this coming Christmas. And if it’s not too much to ask, also some fucking clues about what professionals actually need and are asking for in this industry, as opposed to the goddamn amateurs who think megapixels is the holy grail of photography. I know those guys over there are really going to appreciate it if you could do this.

Stand back with your puny 1DX, Uncle Bob's got the moment with his new 41MP watch

Stand back with your puny 1DX, Uncle Bob’s got the moment with his new 41MP watch

I mean, seriously Santa, just recently I almost fell off of my chair here at the office, when a watch was announced with a 41MP camera built in. A fucking watch!! Soon my goddamn microwave oven is going to be capable of taking 41MP+ images of the food I’m heating up that look awful as fuck. If Canon Inc. doesn’t realize now that megapixels don’t matter, but instead the quality of pixels, then they never will. And this is not going to be good for my health Santa, so please consider doing what I ask if you don’t want me to show up at the North Pole to kick your ass.

:'(

:’(

And on a final note Santa, if you’re on your way to Japan, do you think you could perhaps fly by some countries in the middle east and take down a few of those drones that fucking scumbag Barack Obama is currently flying over there? Innocent families and children are dying there almost every week because they’re being bombed by those drones, and it fucking pains me to see this going on while nobody the fuck says something about it. People have no empathy these days, it would seem. Why is that Santa? Why?

Fuck you Obama. Fuck you very much.

Fuck you Obama. Fuck you very much.

Do you think you could intercept some of those drones and have Rudolph,
Dasher and the other reindeers kick them down or something? Perhaps navigate your sleigh close enough so a well aimed kick to the left or right with their back legs on the wings can break and send them crashing down? Would that be too much to ask, Santa? I think you would do the world a great service if you could do this Santa. And especially the poor children in those countries who have to grow up in fear of being bombed and either die or spend the rest of their lives homeless and disabled. Just look at the video below Santa, and tell me it doesn’t break your heart to see those kids crying and suffering like that?

As you see Santa, I’ve so far mostly asked you to help others, but as for myself, there are some things that I wish for and maybe you can help me as well. I would appreciate it a lot if you could also tell the Japanese to fucking update the old EF 16-35mm f/2.8L II lens this coming year because it is fucking soft and Nikon has had an advantage with the 14-24mm f/2.8 for way too long now. Canon Inc. needs to fucking release a sharp 14-24mm f/2.8L lens soon now because I’m tired of waiting. It should be as good as the latest 24-70mm f/2.8L II in terms of image quality. Please make sure you tell them when you’re there ok? The 35mm f/1.4L II and other lenses can wait. We fucking need a sharp wide angle large aperture zoom.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

That’s it Santa, many thanks in advance, and I look forward to having my wishes here fulfilled.

Best regards,

Fake Chuck

PS

Here’s a little something to get you in the Christmas spirit.

Rise of the Smartphones

#Sandy

#Sandy

Just a month ago I wrote a post about how Canon Inc. was starting to feel the heat from smartphones in the digital photography market. And if you weren’t yet convinced that smartphones are taking over digital photography market right now, then the book #Sandy will convince you.

I received an email from Moses earlier today on my smartphone while I was sitting on the crapper, with a link to an article mentioning this book and this is what he had to say:

Another one of his projects, #Sandy, featured pictures taken by him and a number of other photographers of the devastation caused by hurricane Sandy in October 2012. All pictures were taken and processed on their iPhones. The pictures in the book are absolutely amazing. During his presentation, Wyatt mentioned that the people from the LA Times actually emailed him to confirm that the pictures were really taken on an iPhone apparently because they found it hard to believe. He also said that there are a few photojournalists that he knows who are primarily covering their stories using their phones right now. Since recently camera manufacturers like Nikon and Canon are facing heavy competition from smartphones as this story on the Wall Street Journal confirms, and apparently it’s not just the normal consumers that prefer to take pictures with their smartphones instead of a compact camera or DSLR, but now also professional photographers.

Of course this book by Wyatt Gallery is not the first featuring iPhone pictures. Chase Jarvis was one of the first to publish such a book back in 2009.

The Best Camera

The Best Camera

Bradley Cooper and Chase Jarvis (right) - Seperated at birth?

Bradley Cooper and Chase Jarvis (right) – Seperated at birth?

If you don’t know who Chase Jarvis is, he’s the guy playing Bradley Cooper in the Wedding Crashers and the Hangover movies. Chase apparently was ahead of his time with his book and saw the smartphone revolution coming way in advance.

And then there’s the WSJ article. Man, it’s fucking awesome. Just check this out:

Declining sales of high-end cameras and lenses are raising an alarming question for companies like  Canon Inc.  and  Nikon Corp. Could the proliferation of camera-enabled, app-heavy smartphones be crushing not only the simple point-and-shoot, but premium models as well?

This year, shipments of what’s called “interchangeable-lens cameras”—high-end models that let users swap out different lenses—are diving suddenly after years of robust growth. Most of those are digital single-lens reflex, or DSLR, cameras—the bulky models used by professional photographers and enthusiasts.

But the example of Lie Fhung suggests consumer tastes could be changing too. The Hong Kong-based artist and graphic designer says she now rarely uses the Canon DSLR camera that she bought five years ago. Instead, Ms. Fhung, 44, takes most of her photos with her iPhone, and satisfies her urge to manipulate the images with a bevy of photo-editing apps.

When the editing process is complete, she posts her snapshots straight from her phone to photo-sharing app Instagram, where she has nearly 1,600 followers. Ms. Fhung says she has no plans to replace her aging Canon.

See that? That’s precisely what I said in a previous post. People aren’t going to be choosing to shoot with bulky DSLRs and not even compact cameras, when their smartphones are perfectly capable of shooting good pictures. But there’s more:

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Camera makers have argued that although smartphones and mobile devices have decimated sales of cheap, compact cameras, premium products shouldn’t be affected, since they offer a level of control and picture quality that a smartphone’s tiny lens and sensor can’t replicate.

“Taking photos with smartphones and editing them with apps is like cooking with cheap ingredients and a lot of artificial flavoring,” says Canon spokesman Takafumi Hongo. “Using interchangeable cameras is like slow food cooked with natural, genuine ingredients.”

I beg to differ. The picture quality on DSLRs and compact cameras is becoming crappier all the time thanks to the continued increases of megapixels. Unless these stupid dumb fucks start to get a clue and focus on image quality instead of megapixels, there will be increasingly less difference in image quality between smartphones and bigger cameras. I mean, just look at the 70D. At higher ISO values you would swear that the pictures it takes were taken by a smartphone as it looks grainy and digital and awful as fuck.

Even lens maker Tamron has acknowledged a potential problem, although it doesn’t blame that for the recent decline in sales. “Smartphones pose a threat not just to compact cameras but entry-level DSLRs as well,” general manager Tsugio Tsuchiya said in a phone interview.

Even professional DSLRs are going to start feeling the heat soon. Like Moses mentioned above, professionals are starting to use smartphones to do some of their work as the image quality gets better. And then there’s this stupid dumb fuck from Nikon:

“We are seeing tough figures at the moment, but I don’t think this will last forever,” said Nikon Chief Financial Officer  Junichi Itoh, at an earnings news conference on Thursday. “There still is potential demand, and I think China is the key.”

These morons are going to have to wake up pretty soon to face the hard facts of the reality we’re heading into right now. Especially in light of their recent fuckups with the D600 sensor oil spots issue. I still can’t believe Nikon was able to fucking get away with largely ignoring that problem instead of fixing it and owning up to their fuckups, and just releasing a new D610 model a year later where the problem had been fixed, leaving all D600 owners on their own. It’s incredible how complacent and passive consumers are today. And hardly any professional photographers have mentioned and questioned this unethical move by Nikon. Honest to God, sometimes I think you ignorant sheeple deserve to get what’s coming to you.

But now is really not to the time to be fucking up with the prosumer and professional products. And Canon Inc. had better start paying some serious attention to what’s going on. A seriously high priority should be placed on producing imaging sensors that produce exceptional image quality. Forget about the megapixels; focus on better pixels, like Fujifilm plans on doing. Like Moses wrote in his 5D Mark III review:

  • Please keep the sensor resolution on the 35mm sensor in the 21-24MP range. We don’t need more resolution!! It’s great where it’s at now. For people who want more resolution, consider introducing a medium format system. Or alternatively, introduce a new camera line, say a 4D, with more megapixels and more noise and slower framerate for the amateurs (as Ken Rockwell calls them) who go crazy about megapixels. But for us professionals, keep the 5D at 22MP.
  • Instead of more megapixels, give us better usable dynamic range on the sensor. Sony can do it as demonstrated on the D800, so Canon should be able to do it. Get rid of the pattern and banding noise issues when pushing the exposure of an image in post.
  • Instead of more megapixels, give us even lower noise and even higher usable ISO values. Make ISO 1600 the new ISO 100.
  • Instead of more megapixels, give us even faster framerate. At least 8fps or higher.
  • Instead of more megapixels, give us better image quality. I love the lens aberration correction features for example. Give us more of that. Use more DIGIC power to improve the image quality. Give us better pixels, not more!!!
  • Better metering system. Perhaps we can get the 1DX metering system in the 5D Mark IV. Also, spot metering linked to the selected autofocus point.
  • I like the new HDR features and extra exposure bracketing options. One thing that is missing is focus bracketing. Add this feature on the next 5D. Give us an option to specify how many images and how far to shift focus for each bracketed shot. And then, similar to the HDR feature, let the camera combine them into a single shot with combined dept of field, which is going to be a great feature for macro shooting. Let it be possible to shoot all focus bracketed shots in a single quick burst.
  • Give us an articulating LCD screen. This is essential for video shooting, but also for stills to be able to get the more difficult angles.
  • Better autofocus system with more cross-type points, spread out more to the edges (rule of thirds), and more sensitive. Autofocus needs to be extremely fast and especially accurate.
  • It’s time for an electronic viewfinder with all the benefits that come with that, including real-time exposure simulation (what you see is what you get). While this isn’t very essential for the next 5D, the one after that should have one. And it should be high resolution and look almost like the optical viewfinder.
  • Flash sync speed of 1/500s. Why is the 5D Mark III stuck at 1/200s???
  • Much sharper HD video and 1080p at 120fps.
  • Get rid of the jello effect in video mode.
  • Faster contrast detect autofocus in live view shooting, and faster, smoother and automatic autofocus during movie recording.
  • Quality control needs to improve much more. I bought two 5D Mark III cameras. One of them was perfect, while the other one came with a dirty sensor (dust spots visible at f/16) and two small black spots inside the viewfinder (fortunately at the edges). This is unacceptable for a brand new camera. It’s not the first time this is happening to me. Years ago a brand new 40D I bought came with a large particle on the sensor visible at f/11. Fortunately I was able to clean the sensor myself in all cases, although it took a while and at least 5 swabs to get the 5D Mark III sensor spotless because of the tiny particles that kept moving around instead of attaching to the swabs. A quick Google search reveals that these kinds of quality control problems are still occuring too often. Please improve.

Personally, I’d keep the resolution on full frame 35mm sensors at 16MP like on the 1DX, and then focus on seriously improved dynamic range, low noise and great color reproduction even at the highest ISO values. And then add to this on sensor phase detection AF covering the entire frame, with the sensitivity to accurately autofocus on the dark side of the moon in nanoseconds.

This is also the time when Canon Inc. needs to seriously stop crippling features on their cameras to force consumers to buy the higher end models. THEY ARE JUST NOT GOING TO FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE. Either you go all out and give them innovative and high end features even on the lower models, or you risk losing them to the smartphones. I mean, really, why the fuck didn’t the 5D Mark III have built-in GPS and Wifi? WHY THE FUCK NOT?? Oh, so you could sell the overpriced GP-E2 and WIFI Battery grip and financially milk out people even more???? THIS SHIT IS NOT GOING TO FLY ANYMORE. You have been warned. There’s no excuse not to include these features in ALL upcoming camera models. FUCKING BUILT-IN!!!!!1

The time has come to stop dicking around and show us what you’ve got, Canon Inc. And start fucking shipping the 14-24mm f/2.8 L we’re waiting on for so long now. The 16-35mm is fucking soft and outdated as fuck.

Alright that’s it, I’m gonna try to enjoy the rest of my weekend now.

Canon Inc. rape, feature requests, and why the Canon EOS 6D sucks balls

Man what a weekend. What a weekend! Things are just so hectic around here I barely get any time to update the blog. But I have to do this update today because my previous post about Canon Inc. raping us all didn’t come across very well with some of my contacts at Canon Inc. To be honest, this happens quite often, but this time I feel that their criticisms do have some validity.

Yeah, it’s true that the 5D Mark III could be enabled to do all kinds of advanced stuff, as the guys from Magic Lantern have shown recently with their RAW video update. However, it may not be reasonable to expect Canon Inc. to just implement and enable any and all possibilities on such a camera. It takes quite a lot of work to implement and test functionality on a camera, and adding features — sometimes what may seem as even minor features — could simply mean a lot of additional engineering work, not to mention testing and Q/A work. And at some point you just have to stop adding stuff and release the product. Otherwise you could go on adding and developing to infinity.

So yeah, maybe I was a little too hard on them in the previous post. Especially since Canon Inc. has shown us in recent years that they do listen. But during the discussion I also mentioned, and we talked about, the possibility of releasing an SDK along with some of our products that would enable other people to more easily extend their functionalities, and even introduce new ones, and basically add value to our products without us having to do very much ourselves. Wouldn’t it be nice if the guys at Magic Lantern, for example, could just use such an officially supported SDK to build cool new features everyone, including Canon Inc. could benefit from — instead of having to hack into and reverse engineer the products?

A company famous for using this strategy for many years now is Microsoft. They’ve been handing out development tools and sample code to software developers for free for years. And look how that has worked out for them. All kinds of programs exist within Microsoft for independent software vendors to get free software licenses to get them started building cool new software for the Windows platform. Sometimes you can even get some funding in addition to free licenses. This leads to more interesting software that runs on their platform, which leads to more value, which leads to more users, which leads to market share and sales, which leads to $$$$$.

With an official SDK from Canon Inc., developers could build on top of our existing products and add value to them, adding all kinds of stuff we couldn’t add ourselves, eventually leading to more interesting products and more customers. There are so many cool benefits I just don’t want to name them all here for the competition to steal.

And you’re not going to believe this, but I had this discussion last week, and lo and fucking behold, I almost fell off of my chair this morning when I saw that Samsung is already releasing the code for their cameras to open source developers.

Canon Inc. needs to act fast man. Who the fuck wants to develop for Samsung anyway? Their platform sucks balls. EOS is where the fucking power lies in this industry, as the guys from Magic Lantern have clearly demonstrated. If we had an official SDK out, people would be all over it.

Now, having said all of the above, this still doesn’t change the fact that for many features, Canon Inc. IS GUILTY of dumbing down and crippling products fucking INTENTIONALLY. That needs to be said. It’s just that it’s unreasonable to expect them to add all features that a product could be capable of supporting.

Just look at the goddamn 6D. I still haven’t written a post dedicated to this camera because honest to God, as soon as I think about this camera I get fucking depressed. Was it really neccessary to put a sync speed of 1/180th on it? Honestly? The fucking 5D Mark III is already crippled with 1/200th sync speed. Why in God’s name was it neccessary to go to 1/180th sync on the 6D?

And you know what pains me the most about this? Just a few days before the release of the 6D, I was on Twitter smacktalking The Lord of the Speedlights about how we already had built-in wireless capabilities via RT on our flashes, and how we’re going to show him that the 5D Mark IV would even have a 1/500th sync speed in the future.

Twitter discussion

Twitter discussion

And then, just a few days later, Canon Inc. totally fucking lets me down with the 6D and announces it with a sync speed even worse than the D600. When in fact I’m sure the sensor in the 6D would be quite able to handle at least a 1/200th sync speed. I’m just glad The Lord of the Speedlights apparently isn’t aware of this, and never replied to my last tweet to publicly laugh at me and rub the 6D fuckup in. That would have been quite embarrassing.

This kind of intentional crippling of products is just not necessary man. Seriously. The same thing can be said about the 9-point piece of fucking shit autofocus system on the 6D. I keep saying this, but who the fuck releases a camera with a fucking 9-point AF system these days? Honestly? Not only that, but with just one goddamn cross-type point in the center? Really man, that was just not necessary. The 6D could have benefitted from at least the AF system from the 7D. Releasing it the way it is right now at that price is simply criminal behavior. Even the image quality was purposely degraded.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, don’t waste your money on a 6D. Get a Nikon D600, or save some more to get the 5D Mark III. Just pretend the 6D doesn’t exist.

Apart from the 1/500th sync on the 5D Mark IV, I’ve also told Canon Inc. that people want exposure metering linked to the selected AF point. Those of you who have been continuing to spam my inbox with this request, please stop. I know about it, I’ve told Japan, and I keep reminding them. Emailing me about it every other day isn’t going to help right now.

And the same also goes for second curtain sync on our new 600EX-RT flash system when using the wireless capabilities. I already told Japan you guys want that feature. Honest to God, I don’t know why it was left out. Please stop asking me. And the same also goes for being able to set the flash zoom setting on the slaves wirelessly from the master or the ST-E3-RT. This one boggles the mind, I agree. Canon Inc. added the capability to set flash power levels from the master and the ST-E3-RT, but somehow forgot to also let you set the zoom setting wirelessly. So if you want to change the zoom setting on your flashes, you still have to fucking walk up to each and every one of them and do it manually, defeating the entire point of having wireless control over them.

I hope to God that they add these features soon via some kind of firmware update because the kind of emails I receive on these issues almost daily would make even Joe McNally blush uncomfortably while reading.

I’ll be back soon with more. In the mean time keep spamming your local Canon reps with these feature requests!

Being raped by Canon Inc.

By now we all know that we’re being fucking raped by Canon Inc. We’ve seen enough in the last few years that’s made us painfully aware of this fact.

Apart from the 100% profit margins on bodies and lenses, we knew products were being intentionally dumbed down and downright crippled so Canon Inc. could get people to buy the expensive as fuck “more advanced” models.

But this recent RAW video update on the 5D Mark III from Magic Lantern puts things entirely into a new perspective.

And Hitler, for one, is not amused.

Planned obsolescence is wasteful and unethical. It contributes to the fucked up nature of the world we live in today. Things need to change man, things need to change.

 

Phase One is going down

I’m spending a late night at the office, going over some white papers regarding the new DIGIC 6 chip – yes, in the fucking weekend (see how hard I work?) – and decided to take a break only to end up totally fucking pissed off. I was trying to relax, just browsing around while taking sips of my cappuccino when I came across the below video interview by Michael Reichmann with Phase One CEO Henrik Hakonsson.

Now, before I get to why I got pissed off, let me first point out that I got really excited to see Reichmann publicly state how difficult it is to work with the Japanese. I mean, you guys have watched me complain on this blog for over 4 years now about dealing with the fucking morons in Japan, but now you can get confirmation from someone else in this industry who has the balls to openly state this on camera. And here’s the quote which begins at roughly the 25:00 mark:

I will tell you that in all the years that I’ve been working with the Japanese camera makers and I go to product launches or I sit in on meetings where they’re looking at future products and I’ll go “oh that doesn’t work right, what about this and this” and the American – and I’m saying this and I’m gonna get into trouble for it, but I’m going to say it anyhow - the American product manager or Canadian says “you know what, you’re right, gee I hadn’t thought of that, hadn’t seen it.” Another journalist will say “yah, I agree with Michael.” …… Nothing happens! It goes back to Japan and the feedback loop doesn’t exist. Or, it’s 2 years later when there’s a new model, even though it might have been fixed in a new firmware update. So that is, I think for me, is it a question that you’re a European company rather than an Asian company? I don’t know. Is it a cultural business ethic approach, is it even a language approach? [...] But it’s so frustrating when a manufacturer brings out a product and doesn’t respond to the feedback.

Michael, on behalf of the entire goddamn executive team here at Canon USA, I salute you! Thank you for this. This is so fucking true man, and it’s frustrating as hell. I’ve gotten into intensive care because of these people more times than I care to remember. Major blood pressure issues and almost lost my health insurance too. I will say that we did make some progress since 2011 which shows in the 1DX, the 5D Mark III and the new flash system. It’s amazing what a carefully crafted petition and a large amount of threats of violence directed at Japanese executives can do. And while Canon Inc. improved and started listening, things got worse at Nikon and they’re feeling the consequences of that right now.

Dealing with Japan remains a tough challenge to be sure. If you guys want an idea of how tough communications can get with the Japanese, just listen to the conference call below.

Now why did I get pissed off? Well it’s because of Mr. Henrik Hakonsson referring to Canon Inc. as a “Toyota factory” in his Ahnold accent. Actually the exact quote at roughly the 37:15 mark is:

That’s the medium format environment, and then there’s a couple of big Toyota factories just behind us, you know, which we also take very seriously.

Henrik Hakonsson

It’s Henrik Hakonsson, you idiot

You guys know that I often like to make jokes about Canon Inc. Honestly, who doesn’t enjoy a good Canon Inc. bashing? But when it’s done by the competition, forgive me for this, but then it’s not funny. In fact, not only is it not funny, but it fucking pisses me off. Who the fuck does this Hakonsson guy think he is?? I just sent an email to Mitarai with a link to this video and told him he needs to respond to this pronto. The last thing we need right now is a Phase One CEO openly making fun of us in public. It’s a good thing he also admits taking us very seriously though. Cuz lemme tell ya Hakonsson, you guys are fucking going down in 2014! You’ll hear more about this in a few months. That’s all I’m gonna say right now. Enjoy making fun of the Toyota factory now while you still can. Your ass is grass Hakonsson; your ass is fucking grass.

Nikon Taking a Serious Beating – DXOMark SUCKS BALLS

The Nikon 1D Mark III (AKA D800)

The Nikon 1D Mark III (AKA D800)

I almost chocked on a piece of pizza this morning when I read the following Q&A with Nikon:

Q: What can you tell us about the revision of the financial forecast in the  imaging products business?

A: While we increased production and inventory of digital SLR cameras as one  of measures against the risk of floods in Thailand, rapid deterioration in the  market occurred late November and continuing into December. That resulted in a  reduction of unit prices and additional sales costs in fiercer market  competition. This is the main reason of a significant adjustment for Imaging  Company which had been making stable earnings, and we have taken this fact  seriously.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Yeah of course, blame it all on the market instead of putting the blame on yourself. I’ve been pointing out here on my blog ever since the release of the piece of shit D800 that Nikon was in for a major ass whooping. Especially since we had enough time here at Canon Inc. to regroup our efforts in 2012. I said 2012 would be and exciting year for EOS, and you’d think Nikon would take note of that and release something spectacular. Instead they came up with the biggest piece of shit since the 1D Mark III and called it the D800. Not to mention that the 1DX beats the crap out of the D4 too.

Nikon morons are all up in arms everywhere on the interwebs. Just check this out:

Nikon morons are seriously disappointed

Nikon morons are seriously disappointed

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

This really puts the bullshit on DXOMark into perspective doesn’t it? I’ve been saying here for a couple of blog posts already that they suck balls at DXOLabs, but the Nikon morons just didn’t want to believe me. And how about those fuckwads at EISA with their bullshit awards? This puts that into perspective as well right? RIGHT??? I hope that Nikon finally learns that buying/bribing the entire fucking European camera industry will not guarantee good business results.

Nikon D800 Poll

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This goes to show you that if you want true honest to God expert opinion on the Interwebs, I am your guy. Not to brag about myself, but yes, I am the Canon camera guru after all and I fucking earned that title!

So while Nikon’s market is “rapidly deteriorating” (LMFAO!!!! BAAAAAAHAHAHA LOLOLOLOL!!!!!) remember that the 5D Mark III and the 1DX are currently the best fucking DSLRs in the entire history of human civilization. This point continues to be proven again and again. Choose wisely if you know what’s good for you. I said this before, but seriously, how can one expect Sony and Nikon to compete with our entire EOS ecosystem? We’ve got everything in there from DSLRs to Cinema Cameras to a whole fucking arsenal of lenses that work on both systems. It’s fucking beautiful!!! I can certainly agree with Nikon when they talk about “fiercer market competition.” Oh it’s fierce alright.

Problem?

Problem Nikon?

And now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got another 3 slices of pizza that’re waiting for me.

5D Mark III Selling like Hotcakes while Nikon Fanboys Attack

Nikon Fanboys Attack

Nikon Fanboys swarmed the blog, again

See the graph above? The last time this happened was when I posted about how fucked the Nikon D800 is. This latest spike in traffic is in response to my post yesterday about DxOMark sucking balls, and more specifically how the 5D Mark III trashes the D800.

It would seem as if the average IQ in the Nikon camp is at an all time low these days. The comments leave a lot to be desired. Then there’s the emails accusing me of all kinds of crap. Do you people honestly think I love bashing the D800? I don’t give a fuck about the D800. This is not about the D800. It’s about letting Canon Inc. know our users are not going to love the megapixel shit that’s currently going on at Nikon. Tokyo had better recognize we’re going to go fucking batshit insane on their ass if they go down the D800 route. It’s more than clear what the drawbacks are of so many megapixels. It’s fucking pointless. If I had anything to say about it, the sensor in the 5D Mark III would have been the same 18MP sensor from the 1DX and we’d have even cleaner image quality on the 5D Mark III.

I just updated the DxOMark blog post with yet another video showing why people love the 5D Mark III and choose that instead of the piece of shit D800:

Listen carefully to this guy’s conclusion and why he went with the 5D Mark III. It’s all about low noise and better image quality. And as I have shown yesterday, the 5D Mark III is way better in this area than the D800. Sure, the D800 has better dynamic range at low ISO, but it’s too bad that the extra megapixels make all the dynamic range worthless in the end. Plus it’s a goddamn tragedy that Nikon can’t seem to nail something as basic as the correct white balance in 2012. This was also quite apparent in the review done by The Camera Store.

So I’m not surprised one bit that the 5D Mark III’s are selling like hotcakes right now. Just check the sequence of tweets below (screenshot taken moments ago), within a matter of minutes all stock at B&H was gone.

5D Mark III selling like hotcakes

5D Mark III selling like hotcakes

Plus, you might also like to read this tweet:

According to a major retailer, the 5D Mark III has outsold the D800 25 to 1. I guess that’s all that matters in the end. :)

Get that?? 25 to fucking 1. Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Recogniiiiize!

Introducing the Canon 600EX-RT Flash

Canon 600EX-RT Flash and Canon ST-E3-RT Trigger

Nikon got fucking owned.

Aaaw yeah baby, aaw yeah! As if the 5D Mark III wasn’t enough, even our ancient flash system got a huge upgrade. RF BASED WIRELESS FUNCTIONALITY BABY!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!! How long have we been waiting for this?? Man I’m fucking ecstatic. Last night I partied so hard I can’t remember anymore what happened. I woke up this morning on the ground next to a car in the parking lot here at Canon HQ with a huge headache. I could barely get myself up. I don’t know how the fuck I got there, but I think I must have been so drunk I couldn’t find my way home. My shirt was completely unbuttoned and I couldn’t find my pants. That must have been one crazy party last night.

But we deserved to party like this, and after a long time I can say that I enjoyed every second of it. EOS is shaking up this entire industry like never before. Right now we’ve got the best, fucking state of the art, flash system out there. For years I’ve had to listen to people telling me how Nikon was ahead in this area and how we sucked and blah blah blah. And look at it now, god dammit!!!!!!! LOOK AT IT!!!!!!!! The 600EX-RT and ST-E3-RT are fucking beautiful! Now you can control all flashes right from the back of your camera. All of them!!!!! It wasn’t so long ago when I complained about this and let Canon Inc. know what we wanted:

Canon ST-E2 Ass-Rape VS Cactus V4

Canon ST-E2 Ass-Rape VS Cactus V4

I don’t know what the fuck is taking those bastards in Japan so long, but if they finally release an update it had better fucking blow everything away. I’m talking RF based wireless flash triggers, a new pro speedlite with built-in RF wireless flash capabilities, full TTL and High Speed Sync support, Master/Slave functionality, 100m working range, and best of all, remote control of the speedlites from the back of the camera. I want all my fucking speedlites to show up on my camera LCD just like wireless access points show up on my computer, and I want to fucking add them to my own private network of flashes under my control, each with their own custom ID (so I know which is which). And then I want to be able to fucking select each one of them and be able to change their goddamn settings right on my fucking camera even if I’m 100 meters away! THAT is what I would consider true innovation. Not the fucking horseshit we’ve been seeing in the last few years.

I’m sounding like a broken record these days, but Canon Inc. fucking listened to us again! For a review of the 600EX-RT and ST-E3-RT check out Pixsylated. He was able to fire his 600EX-RT from 100 meters away, although Canon Inc. lists a working range of 30 meters.

I predict that The Lord of the Speedlights, Mc Nally and Van Niekerk are going to be switching to Canon in the very near future just to be able to use all the good stuff. Even Kelby won’t be able to resist! Kelby had to wait years for true wireless functionality and full HD video on his D3/D4, and now he’ll have to wait more years for built-in RF functionality in the crappy Nikon flash system. Guys, don’t wait too long. Join the EOS club and take your photography to the next level!

Especially seeing as how shit are happen at Nikon with the shitty image quality on the Nikon D800. I mentioned this before, but don’t be surprised when people look at your 36MP photos taken with a D800 and ask you what phone you used to make them. And the way things look right now, the D800 is going to have to go up against some fierce competition from the 41MP Nokia 808 Pure View Phone.

As if that isn’t enough, we now also find out that Nikon used footage from the 5D2 in their D800 promo video:

For said launch on March 7th, they produced this impressive demonstration video, which highlights the D800′s strengths as a filmmaking tool:

Looks awesome, doesn’t it? Makes the D800 look like it excels at shooting sports and time lapse videos of cityscapes and exotic locations, right? Makes it seem like the D800 is a vital tool to have in your filmmaker production kit, right? Makes you want a D800 no matter the price, right?

Seems Nikon is not only using Canon EOS-5D Mark II-captured video from TSO’s film ‘The Mountain’ to sell their new camera, but they never asked his permission and are, therefore and perhaps more disgracefully, violating his copyright.

Here’s a screenshot where the photographer complains about Nikon using his footage:

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! When I saw this I laughed for at least 15 minutes non-stop. I started laughing behind my desk, fell on the ground, got up while slamming my fists on the ground and the walls. Then I stumbled out of my office still bursting with laughter, while everyone stared at me, and I fell on the ground in the hallway again. I crawled to the elevator, which for some reason went down to the lobby and as soon as the doors opened I fell out of it into the lobby, still laughing my ass off. And if you can still remember, I didn’t have any pants on since this morning because I couldn’t find them. So imagine how bizarre I must have looked to everyone in the building while I crawled and rolled around laughing my ass off in the lobby until security guards got to me. BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! But man, this is just fucking awesome. What an EPIC fail for Nikon, my God, MY GOD!!! EPIC!!!!

And it’s not just the fact that they used 5D2 footage to sell the D800, but they fucking used it without asking!! BAHAHAHAHA, I guess the poor saps didn’t have a choice did they? I mean, how do you go about asking a photographer to use his video, shot with a 5D2, for a promo movie for the D800? I’d pay 50 bucks to watch that conversation take place because I think it would have been fucking hilarious.

Nikon’s timing with this couldn’t have been better for us. We fucking shook this industry last night and now Nikon makes a complete ass out of themselves with the D800, which by the way sucked balls to begin with. No wonder they chose to use footage from the 5D2. The muddy, compressed, moired, aliased videos the D800 produces just weren’t good enough to promote the camera, it seems. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Jesus Christ, I’m going to get a heart attack if I keep laughing like this.

What a disgrace. Oh God… just unbelievable! If I was a Nikon photographer, I would switch to Canon just because of feeling ashamed to be using Nikon equipment after this debacle. I just wouldn’t be able to look people in the eyes anymore while holding a Nikon camera in my hands.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!! Oh God, I need a drink. It’s going to be one hell of a weekend!