Mirrorless, 5D Mark III, D800, DxO Mark Sucks Balls

I just got back from a short photowalk around town with my pre-production Canon mirrorless camera and I have to say it’s a nice little camera. I think most people will love it. What kinda sucks about it is the sensor. It’s not bad but it can’t go up against the latest Sony sensors in their mirrorless cameras. Japan really needs to do something about this in the very near future or else Sony is going to kill us with their dynamic range and low noise. All the pattern noise and banding shit has got to become a thing of the past.

The 5D Mark III, which is the world’s best DSLR right now regardless of what those fucking idiots at DxO Labs say, still has that pattern and banding crap, although you have to mess with the exposure in post for it to become an issue. But there’s none of that on the Sony sensors, and so Canon Inc. needs to improve. If Sony can do it, so can we.

DXO LABS!! - Y U NO SHUT DOWN YOUR WORTHLESS WEBSITE

Yeah.

This might not be surprising to you, but people are still emailing me and telling me how wrong I am about the piece of shit D800. I have to say, the feeling I have right now has got to be similar to the feeling John Harrington had when he was practically the only one complaining about the massive amounts of noise on the Nikon D200 and D2x. The noise issue on the D200 was legendary. Even Nikon was ignoring him. Yet, after a few years suddenly everyone’s like “oh yeah of course, there was an issue with excessive noise, everyone knows that?!” Mark my words, after some time has passed and the fucking fanboys quiet down, everyone is going to see the D800 for the inferior camera that it is. And then everyone is going to realize how stupid the DxO Mark tests really are. Down sampling to 8MP for comparisons? Why don’t you guys down sample all your images to 100×100 pixels instead? Today most people view only thumbnails anyway. Just fucking down sample everything to 100×100 pixels and do your tests. That way even my crappy Blackberry phone can look like it rivals the 5D Mark III.

DxOMark sucks balls

Wait jest wan bombaclad minute, mon! Dees nuh look irie ta me!?

The biggest joke is that they claim that the D800 is better than the 5D Mark III in low light. You can’t even begin to imagine how many facepalms the above image is worth. If the D800 is so great, then why is Ken Rockwell shooting with the 5D Mark III instead?

The Canon EOS 5D Mark III is the world’s best digital SLR. It easily lets us create smooth, clean, beautiful and colorful images in any sort of light. It handles much better my cheaper Nikon D800 and D800E; my 5D Mark III handles and sounds smoother, quieter, feels better and makes better-looking images than my Nikon D800E.

The 5D Mark III also has the best LCD ever put in a DSLR, while the LCD on my Nikon D800E is smaller in actual use, and most importantly, the Nikon’s LCD isn’t color-accurate. My 5D Mark III LCD is big, bold, bright, sharp, clear, colorful and accurate, and automatically varies its brightness brilliantly for use in any light. (My D800E also has auto LCD brightness control, but doesn’t work well enough to want to use it.)

To shooters upgrading from the Nikon D800 and D800E, the Mark III is greatly improved over the Mark II, while the Nikon D800 and D800E are a step backwards in ergonomics and LCD quality from the D700. Therefore the status quo has reversed; I used to prefer Nikon, while today with the 5D Mark III, I greatly prefer it to my D800E. Pixels impress amateurs, while guys like me who shoot every day for a living are more impressed at how my 5D Mark III lets me get more of the right pixels faster, not just more of the wrong ones.

The 5D Mark III is the world’s best DSLR.

It’s a huge improvement over the 5D Mark II due to the improvements from automatic color fringe correction, and the greatly improved power, depth-of-field and playback controls.

If you shoot Canon, you deserve one of these.

Problem?

I told you so.

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY SHOOT A D800 WITHOUT A TRIPODAll those extra pixels on the D800 are worth jack shit when they also contain more noise. The camera is also slower at just 4fps and the autofocus system just can’t compete with the 5D Mark III. The D800 might perform OK if you have to do an assignment at a retirement home shooting old people moving around in their wheelchairs. And I’ve been told that even then you may need to shoot from a heavy duty industrial grade tripod to get sharp images. But for anything more serious, you’ll want the 5D Mark III. Plus the extra resolution on the D800 is marginal at best. We’ve reached a point where more resolution on the 35mm sensor isn’t giving us any significant return. Best to keep the resolution at a decent level in the 24MP range and instead focus on speed, accuracy and image quality (sharpness, low noise, dynamic range, chromatic aberration correction etc. etc.). Those are the things that really matter. Capturing the right pixels faster, instead of a lot more crap slower.

And with the 5D Mark III, Canon Inc. did well in that area. Yes, yes, it could be better, and we’re going to work on it. What will be much hotter in the near future instead of senseless megapixels, are features based on computational photography. The new HDR feature on the 5D Mark III should be seen in this light. Instead of worthless extra data (megapixels) let’s improve the quality of the data we do have and do some meaningful stuff with it.

Joe McNally (left) and a random Sock Puppet, separated at birth?

I was told Japan actually put in the HDR feature to get Joe McNally to switch to Canon faster. Most people aren’t aware of this but we’ve been in talks with McNally for well over 3 years now to make the switch. Negotiations have been tough, to say the least, and one of McNally’s demands was to get him an in-camera HDR feature because it’s an absolutely essential feature to him (each of his shots is combined from at least 7-8 exposures), and Nikon just doesn’t want to deliver. Combined with our new Speedlite system (600EX-RT and ST-E3-RT) based on radio frequency technology, I’m expecting McNally to become a Canon Explorer of Light within a few months. And I hope he takes his friend with him. You may want to check out his latest performance on The Grid with Scott Kelby. Whenever those 2 guys get together they crack me up.

Anyway, I’m late for my meditation session with the swami. I’ll be back soon with more. In the mean time, get a 5D Mark III and do some real photography.