How to get sharp images with a Nikon D800

Sexy 5D Mark III

The EOS 5D Mark III is one sexy piece of equipment.

In my 30 years here at Canon USA I’ve had to make some tough decisions sometimes, but none of them come close to this one. I can’t decide on what’s sexier in the picture above: the ass or the 5D Mark III with 85L. Life can be so complicated sometimes.

The image above is taken from this review of the 5D Mark III by good old Moses:

This review is going to be a long one as I have a lot of things I want to discuss, but for those of you who want the short version, I can tell you just stop reading and go buy the 5D Mark III. You will not be disappointed. In all honesty I can say that the 5D Mark III is currently the best DSLR on the market, apart from the 1DX. It’s a work of art. I bought two myself. And if you’re wondering about the Nikon D800, I can tell you that the 5D Mark III is a much better choice. I wouldn’t buy the D800 even if it was priced at $2000 and the 5D Mark III was still $3500. That is how good the 5D Mark III is. If you think I’m biased, think about the fact that I have recommended the Nikon D700 in the past instead of the 5D Mark II.

Check it out if you know what’s good for you.

While the 5D Mark III is getting praised everywhere, the Nikon D800 appears to be a very fucked camera. As a commenter remarked recently, two of the biggest Nikon whores are trashing Nikon these days. In my previous post we already saw what Ken Rockwell had to say about the D800 and 5D Mark III:

To shooters upgrading from the Nikon D800 and D800E, the Mark III is greatly improved over the Mark II, while the Nikon D800 and D800E are a step backwards in ergonomics and LCD quality from the D700. Therefore the status quo has reversed; I used to prefer Nikon, while today with the 5D Mark III, I greatly prefer it to my D800E. Pixels impress amateurs, while guys like me who shoot every day for a living are more impressed at how my 5D Mark III lets me get more of the right pixels faster, not just more of the wrong ones.

The 5D Mark III is the world’s best DSLR.

Now it seems Thom Hogan is also having issues with Nikon:

The one thing I think Nikon is getting wrong here is this: Nikon knows they messed up and shipped some number of defective cameras. Yet they are defacto forcing the customer not only to detect the problem, but to pay for shipping of the unit back to Nikon for repair. I think the least Nikon could (and should) do is this: for every camera they receive that actually gets fixed by this new recalibration test, Nikon should refund the shipping cost to the customer. If I were in charge, I’d go further than that and try to find some small reward I could include above and beyond that, along with a note of apology.

Yes, that’s costly. But so is a US$3000 camera that doesn’t focus right. Why is the customer the one that gets punished here?

Remember how I wondered if Nikon was becoming the new Canon? Man, how the mighty have fallen. I would have expected this kind of crap from Canon Inc. months ago, but not from Nikon. A word of advice to all of you Nikon morons: Stop kissing Nikon’s ass and start fucking complaining. Because if you don’t, you’re only going to get a lot more fucked. I hope all of you learned some valuable lessons watching me pull all the hair off of my head (yes, that’s what happened) in the last 5 years in order to get Canon Inc. back on track. This after loads of ass kissing in previous years almost cost us our lead in this industry. Do NOT let it get that far with Nikon. It’s all up to you.

Nikon D800 Poll

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 58% of you who don’t like all the megapixels on the D800 had better fucking let yourself be heard, or else you’ll be fucked, and you’ll only have yourself to blame for it.

While Nikon is busy pulling off all the above crap, Canon Inc. appears to have become a new company, going so far as to release a new firmware upgrade for a 3-year old camera, the EOS 7D, that almost makes it a brand new camera:

Since its introduction, the Canon EOS 7D has become one of the most popular APS-C EOS DSLRs among serious photographers and semi-professionals. Now, Canon is giving the EOS 7D an exciting upgrade with new Firmware Version 2.0.X! With Firmware Version 2.0.X, the EOS 7D gains a multitude of feature enhancements for higher performance befitting the flagship APS-C EOS. These improvements include a higher maximum burst rate (130* for JPEG Large/Fine and 25* RAW images) for continuous shooting, definable maximum limit for ISO Auto, compatibility with the GPS Receiver GP-E2, and manual audio level adjustment. Additional upgrades also include faster scrolling of magnified images, quick control during playback, in-camera RAW image processing, JPEG image resizing and ratings, plus customization of file names and time zone settings. These significant enhancements are a sure-fire way to make an amazing camera even better than ever before!

I can still remember when Canon Inc. released the barcode scanner with the 7D and I gave them hell here on the blog. How times have changed. How times have changed.

To be honest, I do feel sorry for you Nikon morons. I’m laughing my ass off, but deep down inside I feel your pain even as I laugh. And because of that I want to help you guys out with a few tips on how to get the most out of the piece of shit D800. You’re stuck with that stupid hunk of garbage for at least 3 to 4 years now, so you might as well learn how to get decent results out of it. First let’s take a look at how you can get sharp images with the D800:

How to get sharp images with a Nikon D800

How to get sharp images with a Nikon D800

The diagram above shows you how you should use the D800 and get sharp images. The key thing here is to make sure that the D800 doesn’t move even a micrometer. As you can see you need to be on rock solid ground first. I recommend a steel reinforced concrete floor that is a least 2 meters thick. You then position your heavy duty tripod on top of that and make sure it is bolted to the concrete floor. For extra stability, stack as many tripods on top of eachother as you like until they can support a combined load of at least 100 KG. Sandbag the shit out of the tripods to make sure everything stays stable. Then put the D800 on top of that. Now remember, you don’t want to touch the D800 at all. Use a WIRELESS remote trigger to take your shots. Not wired, because that could cause the camera to receive small vibrations through the cable which is going to motion blur your pictures to hell. Also very very important is to make sure you shoot on a windstill day. The windspeed should not be higher than 3 knots or else it will cause micro camera shake and your pictures will look like you used a shutter speed of 30 seconds while traveling at 100mph through rough terrain. And last, but most importantly: pray. Say a prayer each time before you take a shot. If you’re an atheist you need to become religious, hell, very religious, if you want this to work. If you’re a Christian, ask Jesus for extra stability during these rough times. If you’re a muslim, talk to Allah. If you’re a Hindu, make sure Shri Krishna hears you before taking the shot.

Finally, I wish you good luck using the D800. May the force be with you.

84 thoughts on “How to get sharp images with a Nikon D800

  1. So why is motion blur more evident at 36MP than at 24MP? Is it pixel pitch? If you downscale your images to 24MP will that elevate motion blur?

  2. Chuck, you remind me of the story of Sampson and Delilah. Sampson lost all his strength when he lost his hair, while you apparently lost your ability to think ever since you pulled out all your hair.

    If those precautions are really necessary to get sharp pictures from the D800, then I wonder what you have to do to get sharp pictures from the 7D that has an even higher pixel density than the D800!?!

    The D800 has a higher resolution sensor than the 5DIII. If you want to see the benefit of this higher resolution, you need to shoot at higher shutter speeds by a factor equivalent to the ratio of the pixel densities. So instead of 1/100s you need to shoot at 1/128s, for example. That is all there is to it. If you are not interested in beating the 5DIII, then you can use the same shutter speed and you will get the same results. Nothing more, nothing less.

    Bottom line: the D800 has a better imaging sensor than the 5DIII. Time to get over it.

    • I beg to differ. Sample pics show otherwise. And it seems like you forgot my melted hay post about the 7D. The 7D sucks balls too.

  3. What a fucking joke you’ve become FC. Years ago, when you were railing against Canon for all their idiotic blunders and cover-ups, I used to think you had something going for you. But now you’re just a useless Canon fanboy like all the rest. Get over the D800 already; it ate Canon’s lunch and shat it out long ago, and anyone who isn’t a fanboy fucktard is fully aware of this fact.

    Let it be know that I hate Nikon with a passion and I always have. For a brief moment (from 1999 to about 2007), I mistaken thought Canon was totally different than Nikon, but the last 5 years have shown me that Canon is just as fucked as Nikon and we really shouldn’t give either of these cocksucking losers our business.

    But in spite of my deep hatred of Nikon, I don’t let emotions get in the way of facts. I spent 4 years shooting with the 5D2, and honestly is was the best Canon ever achieved. Aside from the fact it was a plastic piece-of-shit that lacked AF and suffered from horrible banding in the shadows, there was nothing wrong it. But I’ve spent the past two months shooting with the D800E and there is simply no comparison to anything Canon had, has, or has on the way; the images the D800E produces are simply superior in every respect to anything Canon is capable of.

    And no, you can’t use shitty 3MP Canon point-and-shoot photographic technique to get 36MP worth of detail. What you’re latest cartoon is really telling us is that you don’t have to worry about getting sharp images on a Canon body because there are so few pixels on the sensor that shitty technique and shitty lenses have no effect at all. Seriously, why even bother, just use a fucking iPhone instead, it has as much resolution as 1DX, doesn’t it?

    So you can be a fanboy if you want, and continue to rant on and on about how Nikon sucks gree donkey dicks and how Canon cameras are hand crafted by Jesus Christ himself, but the sad reality is that nobody believes your company-line bullshit anymore because the evidence simply doesn’t support it, and to anyone who cares to actually look, this is blatantly obvious. Canon licks hairy nut sacks (and so does Nikon). Fuck them all, but I’m shooting with my D800E, thank you very much.

    As if the 5D3 wasn’t enough of a kick in nuts (gee, let’s take the 5-year-old 5D2, add a semi-usable AF module, then jack the price $1000 – that’s innovation for you), now we have the rumor that Canon’s next camera is going to be a crippled version of the 5D3. What the fuck? I guess what that means is that Canon’s next great creation will be the 5D2 all over again, but at a higher price. Well isn’t that special. And maybe they’ll take that fucking flimsy-ass plastic piece-of-shit 50/1.4 and add a “II” to the end of it and jack its price by $500 too, all the while doing nothing whatsoever to the optics or AF module.

    I’m sorry, Canon has become as much of a fucking joke as you have. Fuck Canon. Fuck Nikon. Fuck y’all ignorant motherfuckers. Have a nice day.

    • Look man, I want to agree with you, I really do, but if you’re going to come here and claim that the 5D2 “honestly was the best Canon ever achieved” you instantly lose all credibility you thought you had. The 5D2 was the biggest piece of shit Canon ever released apart from the 1D3. How you can claim that it was the best is beyond me. I seriously doubt you know what the hell you’re talking about.

    • While your passionate language is all your own I have to say as a decade long Canon user with over a dozen lenses I have to agree…as soon as I can get my hands on one I am getting a D800e and if it works like I think it will my Canon gear will be on Ebay to sell to the next user.

      I don’t see how anyone can using reason can conclude that in any way Canon hasn’t made a serious blunder here and NIkon has not pulled ahead.

    • Man, I kinda feel your pain and was, up to a point, nodding my assent, but then I realised you’re probably 12 when I got to the ‘take the 5D2, add a semi-usable AF module’ part. WTF? The AF in the 5D3 rocks and is, pending the actual shipping of the 1DX, probably the most advanced AF system on this fucking planet. WTF are we talking about here? You are being charged a premium of close-as-makes-no-difference 1000 USD for THE BEST MOTHERF*(&*&ING AF SYSTEM IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. Take a seat and STFU.

  4. Mr. F. Chuck, the the irony against D800 is a little too hard do be digested even by other photo-camera brand’s fans. Lower it a little bit, because it starts to be funny no more.

  5. The 5D3 sucks donkey dicks. My D700 trounces the crap out of your brain and anything that Canon can muster.

  6. so this is still the topic huh? I really pitty you kid… seems you cannot get over it. ok now… lets break it down. the 5D3 is better in high ISO, because it has lower pixel count. its faster, yes because it has lower pixel count, is there anything above 30mp that can shoot at 4pfs aside from the D800? None. Is the 5D3 better in Low ISO? NEVER, it certainly sucks in the shadows and a lot of reviews have shown that already. so what makes the 5D3 a better camera overall? just because it can shoot clean and massively SOFT at hi ISO?

  7. I started visiting this site because it was actually funny and made me laugh (in a good way). I’m not sure what it is now, but it seems more like advocacy rather than humor, snark rather than wit. I miss the laughs.

      • LMFAO you guys are fucking hilarious. You sound like the Canon fanboys who thought I was hired by the Nikon marketing department in the beginning. Now when I’m bashing the D800, suddenly it’s not funny anymore, huh? There’s more D800 bashing coming up. In the words of good old Maeda: Prepare for penetration.

      • nobody gives a fuck what kind of bashing you do, desperate times for people like you FC i must say.

      • Well obviously you give a fuck man. Enjoy your D800. Just make sure you don’t take it out into the sun too much as it might explode.

      • hahaha! nice one idiot… make sure if you have a 5D, it does have a black tape inside for proper metering.

      • I guess you used to do humor, and now you do bashing?

        I shot Canon until this year, and in years past I really enjoyed this site when it was “bashing” Canon because it was *funny*. It’s not funny anymore. You went from funny bashing to angry bashing. That’s fine, do your thing. I don’t know what happened to you, but it’s a real shame. Later…

  8. one serious question for you kid… what can you say about the ability of the D800 to recover shadows with more clean detail against 5D3′s recovery w/c shows a lot of noise, banding and false colors? care tp comment on that?

    • Yeah it’s great, and it’s about the only thing it can do better than the 5D Mark III. BAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

      • alright, so how can you say that the 5D sensor is much better if it can’t recover shadows that good? we’re talking here about only ISO 100 and certainly at ISO 100 the 5D3 sucks so much in recovery, is your basis only comes in the form of High ISO performance? tell me… do you shoot at High ISO always? because for the love of God… you care more about better IQ at High ISO and forget about how crappy it does on the low ones.

      • Recovering shadows isn’t some kind of miracle must have feature. The 5D3 does well in recovery of shadows up to 2 stops and it’s not that bad. Sure this feature is impressive on the D800, but the D800 is also slow as christmas with more noise and color banding in images because of having less tonal range. How often do you shoot at ISO 100??? Unless you do landscapes or studio, practically never.

  9. Aw, Chuck, all of your Nikon fanboy followers are turning on you now that you are ragging on Nikon instead of Canon.

    As to 36MP… well, Nikon is learning that more isn’t necessarily better. Canon will win this round by learning from Nikon’s mistakes with the D800. And really, if you know anything about how resolution works, you have to face the law of diminishing returns. After awhile, physics and arithmetic start working against you, not for you. Doubling the resolution of the 5DMII would mean coming out with an 88MP camera. Aside from pixel pitch, noise and everything else, the cost of lenses that could actually resolve that would be astronomical. And then there’s the issue of stabilizing the camera…

    I honestly think that for most pros (not to mention amateurs who really only need 6MP in order to post images to their Facebook pages), 24MP is probably all they ever need.

    If the 5DMIII had a three stop improvement in noise over the 5DMII, I would have bought one in a second. That’s all I want: less noise. I don’t need any more pixels.

    • Thanks Tony. It’s good to see a pro agreeing with me. Sometimes I feel like I’m in the middle of the Saharah desert, all alone, with a D800 in my hands and I’m the only one who thinks it’s crap.

      • Nope, I own a new D800 and I think its crap & a bunch of hype. I get sharper better skin tones with canon. And thats because I Bought The D800, 24-70 2.8 & 70-200. The D4 has better pictures than the D800, Idk, it pisses me off.

  10. Seriously dude, I actually have seen a pro who posted his D800E shots with 16-35 F4 VR lens on Flickr. He told me he had used tripod and mirror lock up. Boy, as soon as I opened up the original large file. I saw smearing at the pixel level. To me, that ‘s diminishing return. He told me he would need to pony up another 2 grands for any high quality prime lens thinking that his current set up had no problem. Was it the lens, maybe? But I have some doubt. The fuzziness at the pixel level even spread toward the center. I agree 24 Mpixels is more than enough for 35mm full frame. If you want large prints, just get a Hassy or Leaf. Heck, even a Sigma DP-Merrill compacts with an APS-C size Foveon sensor would look better in normal hand held usage at low ISO.

  11. Holy crap guys I’ve been saving up since 2 years to buy a decent DSLR and from all the comments here its like whatever am going to buy will be crap. am on the verge of abandoning photography as a hobby even before starting :-(

    • The 5d3 is an awesome camera. The D800 does have better low iso dynamic range and more resolution but the 5d3 is better in every other way. If your worried that pushing shadows with the 5d3 will reveal banding, you shouldn’t. If you have a photo that needs shadow pushing and you get banding just apply noise reduction using Nik Define 2.0. Define will remove the banding and noise with little or no perceptible loss of detail, it works really well.

      Yep, I think Canon should improve there low iso DR but in reality,
      the only advantage of the extra DR is that it might save you a step during post processing under certain specific circumstances. With the proper technique and post processing, shadow banding and noise will not be a problem with the 5d3.

      The whole shadow pushing issue has been blown way out of proportion by a bunch of Nikon fanboys who most likely aren’t real photographers and don’t even own either of the cameras in question. They are amatures that are only interested in camera specifications.

      The 5d3 is not perfect but it is easily the best camera I have ever owned. The camera feels great in the hand and is well built, the autofocus is awesome, the IQ is superb, the performance as a whole is snappy and responsive. The Canon system as a whole is excellent, they have many great lenses and the new flash system is fantastic and better than anything else out there.

      If you decide to get a 5d3 you will be getting a superb piece of photographic equipment, but remember, the photographer is still the most important part of the equation. Just because you have the greatest camera in the world doesn’t mean you’ll take the greatest pictures, it takes a lot of practice. Good luck!

      • I invested $8k in nikon , came from canon, and yup, all this pixel peeping is senseless. Im selling my D800 just to try out the D600 because the D800 is useless, if im not happy, going back to canon, miss the quality ,silence, focus, sharpness, skintones of the L Lenses. Screw the dynamic range in shadows.

  12. Gee Chuck your Canon fanbots are going to need more lube for their MKIII circle jerk. After Cannot winning the MP race for several years the tables are now turned and all I see are complaints because of it. You know perfectly well in several years Cannot will look at their lost sales and have a >36MP camera on the market although it won’t rate as high at DXO Labs as the D800 sensors do.

    New exciting firmware for a flagship 3 year old amazing half frame camera. Do you see just how ridiculous that Canon Inc. hyperbole is? Wasn’t the 7D, Canon’s imaginary “pro” half frame released to try to take on the Nikon D2X? Hell sounds so good I bet they throw all of the ISS D2X Nikon space station cameras overboard and fly up some “exciting” new 7Ds.

    As the Grumpster says, both Tweedle Dee Dumb and Tweedle Dee Dumber are nothing more than purveyors of black plastic turds meant to keep you roundeyes buying their obsolescent crap just as soon as the first 100 dollar battery needs it’s third recharge. I guess a new 22MP Rebel/Kiss rebranded as a 5D should please all the kiddies at Christmas. It is getting on time to admit half frame cameras were a ploy to get hard to produce chips into cameras a decade ago.

    Canon ate Nikon’s lunch for years with their IS, full frame sensor and MP advantage. Now that Nikon has finally woken up Canon will likely have to live in their past glory days when they brought us plastic camera bodies in the AE-1.

    I think since you bring up some quotes from the Nikon whores (one concerning a problem which has been corrected and the other simply being a joker) I’ll dump the latest QC evaluation from Diglloyd: “Update: The 1D X is faulty— the memory card door will not close (with or without a card inserted). I can release the latch mechanism with a small screwdriver, at which point the camera will agree to shoot with the card door open. But I cannot get the card door to close at all.” Seven thousand buck Canon “pro” camera.

    BAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA indeed.

    • Dude WTF do you mean Nikon has woken up? It’s actually Sony that has woken up. At Canon we couldn’t give the slightest of fucks about Nikon. Sony on the other hand scares the shit out of us. Just take a look at the a99 specs.

  13. Meanwhile, What about Canon’s new mirrorless EOS-M. F is for fail. $800 for a fancy point and shoot with a big sensor? Who is this aimed at?

  14. I’m happy to say I have a D800, and it works just fine :) I’m no pro, but I know my photography and the results are as expected: bloody incredibly good. Handheld, tripod, night, day, action (rarely), landscape, urban quickies, portraits, whatever. If some pictures don’t come out as expected it’s probably my mistake, not the camera’s and even so: no camera is perfect, get over it and stop pixel hunting. Who the fuck prints pixels ? I print colors, shapes, patterns, not pixels.

    Can you even remember the times when you were spending days and nights in a little claustrophobic room trying to expose your pictures with chemicals ? Those were the days where you actually found you liked some of the flaws of your camera (or your own).
    Photography is an Art ! not a new IT department.
    Enjoy it while it lasts, because you’re growing older and the world is falling a part.

    Btw, I’m sure Canon and all the others also make great cameras. I’m just more comfortable with the ergonomics of Nikon. The important word here is COMFORTABLE. If you disagree, buy something else. I’ll enjoy your pictures just as much (or not …).

    and yes, it’s that simple.

    • Loada crap, where are the white lenses at the Olympics? Looking at Canon rumors they are all in the cupboard. For anyone stupid enough to order one: they can’t get it. Look after your loyal users instead of throwing everything into useless ‘marketing’ in London please!

  15. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, this shit is the best ever, I cant stop laughing after see the diagram!! HAAHAHAHAHA!!
    All those nikon fanboys are so fucking pissed off, c’mon little girls….

  16. Thank you for the laugh, I could not stop giggling. I still haven’t bought the new Mark, I just got 2 new lenses (the IS USM 70-200 mm and the macro IS USM 100 mm from canon), but the camera is definitively on my buying list.

  17. Pingback: Introducing the Nikon 1D Mark III (AKA the piece of shit D800) | Fake Chuck Westfall

  18. Honestly, Your blog about Nikon D800 is blown out of proportion, I own both camera 5d mark III and Nikon d800, Honestly, if you need that many tripods to get a sharp image out of the D800, I think you should consult your physicians, i really suspect that you may have a chance of suffering from Parkinson disease. I can get a tack sharp image with my Nikon D800 with adequate shutter speed which is 1/ 2x(focal length) hand holding without using the tripod or monopod, its true its easier to get a sharper image with Mark 3 I can get a tack sharp image even at the speed of equal 1/focal length. If you need that money tripod… i strongly advise you to seek help…. something is wrong with you.

  19. The amusement value is there, but where’s the substance.

    I own a D800, (oh such a poor demented fool am I …. not!)

    I have no doubt that the Canon 5D MKIII is an excellent camera, and for some applications the preferred camera. For me, since 90% of my images are at base ISO, and I have no fear of carrying a decent tripod, the D800 is the better choice.

    Where Nikon has been falling down is with quality control (QC), and customer service. There were issues, (significant ones), with the release of the D800. Mine used to lockup sometimes, (which was addressed with the first firmware update), and I was lucky in that the autofocus problem was not something I had to deal with. I am also pretty upset about policy changes with respect to no longer supplying parts to 3rd party repair shops. Those are real and serious gripes that Nikon owners should be very vocal about. Thom Hogan in particular has been holding Nikon’s feet to the fire on these issues, and his reporting has been useful to those of us who either own or are considering a purchase of a Nikon camera.

    If I have Canon envy, it is not about my camera. It is a superb instrument and well suited to the landscape and architectural photography which is my primary focus. I would love to see a 17mm tilt-shift lens, and in that respect I have envy, but really that is about it. A few years ago I had a D3x, and also considered the Canon 1Ds MKIII at the time. One of the things which swung me to the D3x was that I could carry it hand held, and the way my hand fell on the grip and how the controls were laid out was far more comfortable. When I used the Canon, my wrist became quite sore, quiet quickly. This was much less of an issue with the Nikon. With a heavy camera the ergonomics become important, and quickly. I cannot honestly comment on that with respect to the Canon 5D MKIII, but I can say that I can walk around all day with the D800 and I am not suffering wrist pain. (Don’t underestimate how important that is until you carry a heavier beast around for a prolonged period.)

    Just my experience … take it or reject it as you see fit.

  20. We all can take razor sharp pictures on 35mm film, which with grain sizes of 0.2 to 2um can resolve to about 100-200 megapixels on a high-end scanner, and easily 80 megapixels on a drum. 40mp on a quality flatbed, still better than a d800, is certainly possible.

    Now, we know that film and digital aren’t quite apples to apples, but they’re damn close if you’re making the argument that high pixel counts make for blurry pictures.

  21. STFU you all idiots. When Fake Chuck (Norris) Westfall said 5dIII is best that means it is best. Forget IQ the best thing is It can do kung-fu and beat the shit out of any ching chong

  22. Better go out and use whatever camera you’ve got and stop blaming it for your pictures. if it’s bad it’s your fault. hope this truth won’t insult you, chuck

  23. This post is a bit dated now that people have had a chance to see the D800 smoke the 5D-3. My D800 prints totally blow away those from my 3 buddies who bought the Mk3.

  24. WOW! I stumbled across this page, I couldnt stop reading Mr Westfall’s Artical. I have never spent time nor have I commented on any threads,posts etc. This one caught me. Many of the comments ar frank and more helpful in making a decision to go Nikon or Canon than most of the bullshit paid reviews. I must say Chuck’s Artical is very funny. I love the concrete slab and the tripod with sanbags. (“you dont nedd the sandbags if you have a good tripod”)
    Chuck, I truly enjoyed reading your artical and opinions of the D800! I am shocked at some of the replies though! It seems people dont see the fun side of the artical regardless of your personal hate for Nikon. My only disapointment in you Chuck, is that you lower yourself to the haters replies and create a battle of intelect instead of how to truly get a clear photo. Your credibility seems to disapate trying to defend yourself. I use Canon and Nikon, I own several lenses and have compaired many differnt conditions. I find photography to be just like Golf. A great golfer will kick your ass with any piece of shit equipment you give him!
    If you can’t get amazing photos from the D800 I’m not sure its the cameras faut. The Nikon D800 blows away anything Canon has produced in FX format if you know how to use it…..
    Thanks for the artical though! It was very funny.

  25. FC, I do feel really bad for you. Where sometimes, articles and discussion can be very constructive, your norrow minded article, with your rudiness ruined completely the interest in your article. To be honest, I am not event sure why I am loosing my time typing this comment. Anyway, to me, doesn’t matter if people prefer Nikon, Canon, Pentax, Sony, whatever brand that exists, it’s just very sad to see such attitude in the photographer’s community.

  26. Just came over your article and I´m pretty sorry to tell you that, but ifyou are unable to get sharp frames from a D800 you should take a second for yourself and think about the choice of your profession since that is your skills, not the cameras sensor which are causing troubles!
    I´m shooting the D800 on commercials, mostly handheld, every day, and guess what, fast motions mainly in extreme sports like freeskiing -> tacksharp if you know how to handle it!
    Tripod works -> tacksharp if you know how cameras are working!

    In addition to that – without opening any fanboy discussions – the image quality of the 800 is WAY better than something that i´ve ever worked on before (canon included)

    so my advice: think before you talk/write

  27. Pingback: On the Canon 70D Image Quality and other stuff | Fake Chuck Westfall

  28. Thank you finally someone speaks the truth about the d800! Your image above LMAO so true…tripod with sandbags !!! I have tried very hard to like this camera…but the images continue to look like oatmeal…and believe me it is the camera!!! Thank you I appreciate your blog!

  29. Dear Fake (what’s in a name), if you ever have to leave Canon you can do the same, non professional, stories like Canon vs Nikon, for a handsoap or olive oil. Please try to do concentrate on your own brand now you missed the train to produce a camera having this kind of megapixels as Nikon does.

  30. Pingback: Fujifilm is gonna tear us a new one | Fake Chuck Westfall

  31. I am a canon user who upgraded from the mark II to the III. I must say its not as great of an upgrade for still images as I was hoping for but the autofocus is great. Unfortunately the mark III is living on a shelf now for several months since I tried a d800e from a friend that usually shoots medium format for fashion and uses this as a back up. I fell in love with the images, the menu and functionality takes forever to learn and makes no sense but the images are the leap forward I was looking for from canon. Hopefully the mark IV comes in with a big improvement in still picture quality or I’ll be donating my canon glass. No matter how much I stuck with canon the mark III got killed in still picture quality by the d800e for any professional that needs larger prints and doesn’t want the hassle of medium format. Trust me the d800e focus system is a dream compared to my mamiya leaf with a 40 back and the Nikon images are very comparable and I’m not sure how Nikon did it but they are very comparable. Enough so that including myself I use this camera for shoots whether its for a small magazine image or a larger fine art image. This is something that the mark III can not compete, but the d800e is not for the average consumer like the easy to use mark III can accommodate. I think the d800e was just built for a different pro than the likable but uninspiring photo quality of the mark III. If canon could buy the d800e sensor from Sony instead of Nikon it would be the greatest slr ever, canon is intuitive and easy to use but the sensor really is not a big leap forward. And come on there is no reason for any ISO over 3,400 unless its for personal and not professional use. If you own or complain about bad images on a d800 take a lesson or two with a pro and read the manual you can set just about anything. Also try to stay faster than 1/160 when shooting handheld unless you have a very steady hand. Good luck with your choice both ate great cameras with very different uses, canon went for versatile and easy to use, while Nikon went for the ultimate image in a dslr.

  32. Funny, and because the humor is based in reality I can see why D800 users are feeling ridiculed. Even a year after launch I see postings by people on DPReview complaining about focus accuracy and consistency with this camera. I have a D700 and will wait until the D900 before upgrading.

  33. i have the Nikon d800 and have been shooting pro with nikon for the past decade.
    i have no problem with image quality / getting sharp images – but confess that i have to double usual shutter speeds – that is I shoot at 2x focal length to ensure sharp shots where 1x focal length was my norm. WIth such little noise at high ISO this is not a problem.
    I am also limited with what lenses i use to get optimum quality – there are i think 5 lenses that nikon recommend. As for Canon – I have never owned one – so cant make comparisons. Judging by some of the childish comments left here i;m rather glad of this.

  34. Well you are the first person I have seen bag the D800, but I guess there is more out there. I’m getting great photos from my D800. I do a lot of Astro & landscape photos, sharp. Sound like a Mac user bagging a PC user.

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