One Year of Fake Chuck Westfall

Shit are happen.

"Shit are happen." - Masaya Maeda, Director and Chief Executive of Image Communication Products Operations, Canon Inc.

Today it is exactly one year since I first started this blog. But it feels like it was yesterday. I remember growing more and more frustrated, shit was happening at Canon, everyone was afraid to speak up, but something had to be done. Recently published statistics show what we’ve known all along. We saw it happening. We felt it happening.

Canon Inc. President Tsuneji Uchida looks through the viewfinder of a 5D Mark II trying to take a picture of falling Canon market share numbers. I hope he had it configured in AI-Servo mode. I bet the 9 point AF really wasn't enough either.

November 2008 - Canon Inc. President Tsuneji Uchida looks through the viewfinder of a 5D Mark II trying to take a picture of falling Canon market share numbers. I hope he had it configured in AI-Servo mode. I bet the pre-historic 9 point AF system really wasn't enough either.

While celebrating past successes and enjoying the position of market leader, Canon Inc. became arrogant and mediocrity made its way into our products and services. We were heading towards the fires of Doom at great speed. Canon employees, partners and photographers all saw this, but most feared taking action. But as if luck would have it, and certainly not by chance, a blog was forged in those same fires of Doom. The One Blog to help them all while a common cause bind them. Canon Inc. tried to destroy the One Blog, but failed miserably.

And so here we are today, together, celebrating the first anniversary of the One Blog.

It was interesting doing the blog so far, it has been very therapeutic (I’m sure you can imagine) and I’ve had fun doing it. I’m very thankful for the support all of you have given to the blog. We share a common goal, and while there was some doubt about that in the past, I’m sure it’s clear to everyone now what that goal is. And if not, you’re probably upper management.

There are now a total of 59 posts on the blog, with a total of 990 comments. Not that much, but my goal has always been quality instead of quantity. That, and considering that a typical post can take up to 5 hours to write, and me having a busy schedule, you can start to understand why I don’t post very often.

If you’re wondering about who I really am, I have compiled a small list of options that people have come up with during the last year:

  • Nikon’s marketing department
  • Real Chuck Westfall
  • Vincent Laforet
  • A disgruntled Canon user
  • A crazy Nikon user
  • Barack Obama

If you have more options, feel free to post them in the comments.

I went through all the comments that have been posted so far, and I want to mention a few of them here. I think the most beautiful comment I got so far in support of the blog, has got to be the following:

Thank you Fake Chuck from Cleveland Ohio! You crack up my whole family! Every day I read your blog after my Bible time with The Lord, I thank him putting funny people like you to get me off!

Oh, and you were so great when you blogged about the coming of the D3x! I couldn’t get that thought out of my mind of you barricading yourself in your office, even while having sexual intercourse with my husband! Right in the middle when I was on the bottom position, taking it fully inside of my vagina, I busted out a laughter, imaging my bald pear-shaped middle aged balding husband in the same situation, but got him so angry that he pulled out and finished his part by playing with himself!

I can’t help it FakeChuck, even when you don’t blog, I come back here every day to re-read your wonderfully expressive notes, that stay with people, even while they are in the middle of an orgasm!

Don’t ever stop what you do best!

Mary J

Ever since reading this comment, I can’t forget it, keep thinking about it regularly and it never fails to bring a smile on my face.

Here are some more:

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2009/02/16/to-canon-and-loeb-loeb-thanks-for-the-traffic/#comment-668

Dear Canon,

thank you very much for this new communication channel with your clients. However, thinking about twice to get a new Canon 5D MkII perhaps it will be better to switch to the (better sealed Sony A900 and getting a pair of good wide angle Zeiss lenses (with better quality). In the meantime I will use my old 5D until it will loose it’s mirror.

And thank you Canon about the whole buzz of this website, otherwise I wouldn’t have found fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com !!!

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2009/02/16/to-canon-and-loeb-loeb-thanks-for-the-traffic/#comment-664

I am under the impression that this is, in fact, Chuck Westfall’s blog. Chuck, I’ve have to hand it to you. Risking your job during a recession is not for the weak, and yet you make it seem effortless.

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2009/02/14/shut-down-notice-from-canon/#comment-645

This is such a great thoughtful site. Canon really needs to fix their cameras and start helping their customers much better. They lost me this year.

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2009/02/14/shut-down-notice-from-canon/#comment-630

Fake Chuck, you just gathered a few more readers after this debacle. Continue this blog, satire has a way of pushing companies to admit their mistakes and face up to their bad practices. We support you!

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2009/02/14/shut-down-notice-from-canon/#comment-575

Fake Chuck. Good to see the good folks at Automattic standing behind you on this one. You ought to see someone about those masochistic tendencies of yours man. Either that or the next time you try to shut down your own blog hire some more competent lawyers.

Sheesh. What’s the world coming to when you can’t even get your own blog shut down.

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2009/02/14/shut-down-notice-from-canon/#comment-567

Fake Chuck,
Your blog is an amusing part of my day, and your satire is spot on. Canon should focus on their product, not your blog. Although I was ready to pull the trigger on a 5dmkii, I believe I will wait for Nikon’s product response to it before purchasing my next camera.
Cheers, and thanks for the good times.

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2009/01/13/canon-inc-sales-disappointing/#comment-540

Hi Fake Chuck

Thanks for doing this fantastic blog. This is still the most accurate and reliable fake information about Canon SLRs on the web. Don’t let the Canon fanboys put you off – keep up the pressure. It is important that Canon’s shareholders see what is going on. Maybe they will fire Maeda and put you in charge. One can only hope…

Barnett

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2009/01/13/canon-inc-sales-disappointing/#comment-517

Fake Chuck Westfall you are my hero! I tip my hat and say thank you for binging humor to the very sad pile of Canon glass in my studio that could really use a camera body that works… You are brilliant and hope that Canon reads you.

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2008/09/21/tech-tips-for-september-22-2008/#comment-155

I laugh till cry…almost got fire  :):) you’re
Something else…kudos!!!!
Harry

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2009/04/24/banding-and-pattern-noise-eos-5d-mark-ii-and-eos-50d/#comment-915

Chuck, I am really, really sorry about my comments making you lose 3 days. But you have to understand that we photographers too are very frustrated. Right now there is not a single Canon camera I can buy that does not have focus issues – never mind the 5DMkII that you deliberately crippled.

Just to give you an example. Last week I did some photographs for a large car rental company. I used my 5D and 85mm f/1.2L. After the shoot the customer chose the photo they want. And you guessed it, when I opened it on my PC, it was out of focus. I emailed the client, showing them another photo, and asking if they did not rather want that one, because it is err… so much nicer. They were not falling for that, so I had to admit that the picture they chose was also a bit, err… motion blurred. Well, they were not impressed, just told me that there is no time to re-shoot and they have to have that one and they are printing it 3m wide and putting it up in their new conference room where people will walk right up to it and look at it closely.

So you see Chuck, I am losing customers just as fast as you are. And this week my worst nightmare came true – I found out that my direct competitor just bought a Nikon D700. Do you have any idea how fucked I am now? Sorry, I have to go, I am suddenly not feeling very well…

http://fakechuckwestfall.wordpress.com/2009/03/03/eos-1d-mark-iii-autofocus-fix-for-real-this-time-seriously/#comment-811

LOOOL… you’re the man!

What a blast i have been having with this blog, you are kind of a hero around here.

NOW… what about the shutter button faillure on 20D/30/40D/50D…and people now talk about 40D pre-shutter failure too… :\ (If you have already mention the things above…just ignore)

Seriously we need this kind of blog, and you are excellent at doing it. I love your sarcastic humor!

Regards

There are many more, but of course I can’t post all of them here.

As part of my social networking efforts this past year I’ve also gotten on Twitter. Still haven’t gotten enough followers to come close to John Harrington, but I’m working on it. I’m also looking at expanding my social networking presence in the future. Canon Inc. doesn’t appear to understand, or want to understand, social networking/media, so we’ll just have to understand it for them. Let’s hope 9% loss of market share has at least taught them something.

I’m looking forward to another year doing the One Blog, and let’s hope things will get much better for us in the future. I’ve got “sashagrey1.mpg” cued up right now, got the hand lotion and tissue ready, so I’m signing off for now.

19 thoughts on “One Year of Fake Chuck Westfall

  1. Happy birthday Chuck!

    Let’s hope a year from now, all of your posts are gloating over how fucked Nikon is… and comments on the fact that the 1D4 has no visible noise at ISO 6400.

  2. Any blog that discusses cameras and demonstrates an appreciation for the artistry of Sasha Grey, well, that’s my kind of blog.

    Happy birthday, fake Chuck.

  3. Congratulations Fake Chuck! The next year can only get better. I hope.

    But did you see those 2008 numbers? Nikon 37% market share, Canon 38%. That is too close for comfort. Will 2009 take us past the point of no return? I can already hear Maeda saying: “Shit are happened”. Where is the 3D? Where is the 1DMk4? Come on Canon, time is running out.

    • One more thing, Chuck. With all the big sporting events coming up, I really hope you guys have the 1DMk4 AF well sorted out. I would hate to see Tsuneji Uchida shooting the 2010 Canon market share chart with his new EF 100 f/2.8L Macro.

      • good one. and a 3D is badly needed right now. they better hurry the fuck up in Japan.

  4. Pingback: One Year of Fake Chuck Westfall @ Photo News Today

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  6. You’re wrong It’s not so bad as you said. Ok the market share dropped but what about the number of sold cwanon cameras? The DSLR market still growing every year so if you loose a little part of the digital camera market you at the same time gain more customers because the market still expanding.

  7. Congratulations on your first year Chuck!!! You are too modest. The reason we now have the awesome 7D, is probably because you beat the shit out of a few canon bosses and took no prisoners!

    As to your identity…

    Chuck said: If you’re wondering about who I really am, I have compiled a small list of options that people have come up with during the last year:

    Nikon’s marketing department
    Real Chuck Westfall
    Vincent Laforet
    A disgruntled Canon user
    A crazy Nikon user
    Barack Obama

    You can’t fool me buddy! Ken Rockwell, stand up and admit you are fake Chuck!

  8. Happy Birthday from Germany too. If you need assistance in your struggle with Japan you know that you can count on us *lol*.

  9. Hi Fake its me again.
    By the way I have another idea about your background: as you are a very very skillful writer beeing up to date all the time and having insight and have a luxuriant imagination too, you must be a marketing person. I guess your from Nikons marketing department or from Nikons competitive intelligence department.
    Nevertheless for me it doesn’t matter who you really are. It’s always funny reading your stories.

    Regards, Günter

  10. I have always kinda suspected you of being the canonrumorsguy. Before you even had 5 hits on your blog he/she had a link posted up… haha.

    Anyway, I enjoy reading the blog. Thanks.

  11. Happy Birthday Chucky!

    I had just bought a couple of EF mount lenses so I guess will be sticking to Canon for now.

    And now more bad news…. Lloyd Chambers just rubbished your all new Canon 100mm f2.8 Macro with Hybrid IS in his tests.

    Can’t Canon Japan do any QA at all? This is getting to be quite an international disgrace. And that’s just by watching from the sidelines. I though of getting this lens but now I’ll hold off.

    This is DISGRACEFULL CANON! Lazy cost-cutting Japanese buracrats who don’t want to offer value to customers if it means they will absorb more costs.

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